The pain in my gut lasted another week after Daire and I hid the Spear. At first it hit me like a bad period, then the cramping died down enough for me to manage.
Rio never noticed a difference. She stayed in front of that one mirror with the sun, moon, and apple trees on its frame. One gray-tinted woman after another showed up in the glass. I passed by plenty of times on my way to see Daire. They took a passing interest, but never made any instant invitations like Manannan. Day by day, Rio’s energy buzzed louder and louder until her eyes were almost black. She stayed quiet while we ate and waved me toward Daire’s mirror or the boulder leading outside whenever I spoke up. I tried faking sick once, but she told me to sleep it off.
Daire and I started walking through his gardens instead of chilling in his room. He’d organized them into four sections, each themed after a different season. The whole place had an artful chaos to it, like a park that was carefully overgrown so the beauty seemed natural.
His favorite must’ve been the spring part, since we usually ended up walking around there. It had these big twisting oak trees over the paths with ivy vines hanging from them like beaded curtains. The flowers had every color a rainbow had to offer, arranged in bright swirls and scenes. I should’ve focused on what he pointed out as he humble-bragged about his plants like kids. I couldn’t, though. It all reminded me of Rio and how her stress changed her a little each day, smothering her sweet side and stifling her teases. All that campaigning even sucked up her stormy moods and left them a sticky drizzle.
“And there are my more mischievous flowers. They stray from their pattern the quickest.” Daire paused by the side of the stone-paved walkway and scolded the blue and red blossoms like they could listen. “They like having my attention more than the others.”
“They sound great,” I said, only half hearing him as I batted away one of the ivy vines hanging in my face.
“You look like someone broke your prized horse’s leg.” Daire rearranged a few flowers as he talked. “What’s the matter?”
“It’s Rio—your sister.” I smoothed my bangs away from my eyes. “The campaign is at a dead stop right now. Even though that big shot sea guy liked her and said he’d pass on a good word, the queens still haven’t invited her to visit. It’s really getting to her.”
“And we don’t have much time left until Samhain.” Daire breathed harder and hunched his shoulders.
“Are you using magic again?” I wiped his forehead with the back of my hand. It came away slick and hot. “You’re burning up. How much did you do?”
“I rearranged a few sprouts,” Daire said between breaths. “Nothing too taxing.”
“How long do we have left?”
“A fortnight.” Daire swallowed. Two weeks didn’t give us much breathing room. “Perhaps we should focus on the Cauldron while Riona waits for an audience. Father says we will move on from Connacht soon to Uliad. So far, I haven’t found a way around Finvarra’s security measures. He keeps it watched at all times by multiple guards and I have no doubt the various mirrors in the room are viewed constantly.”
“We’ll have to pull a bank heist to get that thing.” I wrinkled my nose as I thought over the few big caper movies I knew. None of them had magic, but tight security was a universal fact. “Try to see when the guards take breaks or switch out. Is there a way to make the mirrors show a loop of the same clip over and over again? We could cover them with that while we do our thing. Either that or distract the guards and make them leave their spots all at once. Maybe a riot or something.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” Daire sighed as he looked down at his hands. The glow from his skin had faded since I first met him. Then there was that cough when we hid the Spear. I’d never seen him swallow spit wrong, let alone hacking up phlegm like a bad case of bronchitis. It never sank in that he was dying until that moment. Ever since, I couldn’t help but notice the little issues that freaked him out getting worse. “I won’t promise any grand feats.”
“Hey, we got this.” I squeezed his fingers. Touching settled him better than talking. “Alright?”
“Yes, we do.” He squeezed back and held on longer. I waited as much as he needed. He gulped and let go all at once. He reached into his belt bag, then pulled out a little silver mirror about the size of my hand. He pushed it in front of me with his chest puffed out. “I finished it!”
“I’m guessing this is for me?” I took the mirror and turned it over. It reminded me of the one Daire had with the ivy on it. This one had a flower with folded petals instead. “What are these? Orchids?”
“Irises.” Daire hid his hands behind his back. “They match your hair, so they seemed fitting.”
“It’s pretty. Thanks. Now where do I put it?” The mirror had a few pointy edges, but none of them would poke too hard if I stuck them against my skin. I turned my back to Daire and shoved it down in the side of my bra. It was an easy storage place for my phone sometimes. Same concept, right? I smoothed my shirt out and faced Daire again. “See anything?“
“Where did you store… Oh! In your brassiere? Ingenious.” Daire pinched his eyebrows together as he looked over my chest, assessing and attentive. “Not to mention what it contains has a more appealing shape than I first thought.”
“It’s a perk of being thick.” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest to block his view. The frame poked into me. I’d have to get used to that.
“Killjoy.” Daire redirected his attention to my face. “Be careful changing your underthings in front of my sister. She would be far less ashamed to peek.”
“I’ll handle Rio.” Heat rushed up my neck at the idea of her checking me out while I changed. I adjusted my bra on reflex. “You worry about getting the info for the Cauldron.”
* * *
I headed back to Rio’s burrow after Daire warned me his dad was on the way. I hadn’t gotten the chance to tell Rio about Midir staying with the western king yet. Either she was too busy or it slipped my mind. Or was that just an excuse? I had no idea how much it would help her to know her dad was using a similar tactic, using the Key as a selling point. Midir was more conservative about it and for all he knew the Key wouldn’t exist after the election. He could dangle as many false promises as he wanted. Rio had no idea about any of that stuff. If I helped Daire and she won, more people would be pissed at her. Did I keep “forgetting” the info because deep down that scared me?
My ankle bumped into something, distracting me from my intense thinking. If I’d paid attention, I would’ve noticed the massive silver mirror with a sun, moon, and apples laying in the middle of the tunnel. Wait, that didn’t belong there. The edge of the frame had finger sized dents and someone had torn the black curtain in half where the mirror should be.
Oh no, Rio. I inched deeper in. A gray cloud filled the space around the cot, rotting the walls and cracking the wood furniture. In the middle lay a dark silhouette of a familiar animal with big ears and a bushy tail: Rio’s fox shape, Queenie.
I went up and parked myself on the side of the cot by the fox. Queenie made a high pitched growl.
“Stuff with the southern queens still going bad?” I propped my elbows on my knees. “What happened?”
After speaking to near every Bean Sidhe in their inner circle, I managed to win a small audience with Cliona herself. Rio’s voice echoed through my head.
I shuddered as her foreign words invaded my thoughts. The situation must have made her forget that boundary. I pressed on anyways. “That’s a good thing, ain’t it?”
She called on me through that mirror, said her formal answer, then left before I uttered a single word. The dark field whined and Queenie’s ears folded against her head.
“What’d she say?”
As if you couldn’t guess. Queenie’s deep red fur stood up along her back. She refuses to see me. It matters not that many of her subjects wanted to meet you, or that they agreed a change in our ways was long overdue. Mumhan, according to its ruler, will stay loyal to its own people. That monster who reigns now is from there and he “does everything with the greater good in mind,” so she will not go against him.
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“How about you change to your normal body and we’ll talk about it.” I stroked her spiky coat flat.
Queenie snapped her teeth at me and her voice boomed through my head. I don’t need your pity!
“Ah!” I flinched back and rubbed my temples. They throbbed from a sudden migraine. “Fine. I’ll leave you alone. I was just trying to help.”
Queenie froze and stared at me. The dark cloud rushed into her as she changed. Her fur rearranged, growing into the long waves of hair on her head. An airy white gown spread over the rest of her. Rio sat slumped over with exhaustion and guilt. It was the closest she’d ever looked to human. All she needed was dark circles under her eyes like mine.
“I’m sorry. You don’t deserve my ire.” She took my wrist where her fox teeth caught it. “I didn’t harm you, did I?”
“Only a few scratches. Nothing deep.” I let her do what she wanted with my arm as she turned it over. Her light touch helped soothe the headache. “You’re under a lot of pressure. It makes you lash out. I do the same thing.”
“This campaign has consumed me. I’m unsure my motives are even from wanting to lead the Aos Si.” Rio rubbed her thumb over the grazes and sent tingles down my veins. “If I win this, I can show my relatives that they are wrong about me. I am not a force to trifle with. They must see that.”
“I get that.” I gulped as I caught her fingers in mine. “Going nonstop still causes burnout. Why don’t you take a night and recharge? Let’s get a basket, whatever passes for junk food, maybe some cheap booze, and find a nice spot to enjoy it.”
“But I have to find another way to gain Mumhan’s vote.” Rio buried her knuckles in her hair. “I must think.”
“You’ll think better if you take a break.” I stood and tugged on her to follow. “This’ll help, I promise.”
“If you insist.” Rio sighed as she went to the magical food cupboard and opened it up. The first thing that came out was a clay jug that reeked of sweet alcohol. “But I refuse to spend the few precious moments I can afford with you consuming lackluster food and drink.”
* * *
I carried the food—which smelled like a cinnamon and honey pastry—and the wine jug so Rio could frolic around as Queenie if she wanted. Rio took advantage of the opportunity, bounding over rocks and twisting through trees like a dog on an agility course. I followed a small stream further and further until my calves burned. It ended at a steeper area with a waterfall that rushed into a small lake. The full moon hung low in the sky, casting a glowing reflection in the water.
“This is as good a spot as any!” I plopped by the lake and set out the basket and jug.
Queenie dashed out from the trees and sat by the basket. After transforming into her normal human-like body, Rio folded her legs and smoothed her dress under her knees. Her posture stayed too rigid and her eyes settled to a dark gray as she took out a dessert cake.
I drooled at the layers of pastry held together by a thin spread of honey and some kind of cheese with nuts sprinkled over it. It reminded me of a Greek dessert Nate had made, and Nico had brought into work, for the bar’s ten year anniversary. I hadn’t seen those brothers in a month and a half. The last time I saw them, I’d yelled at Nate and brushed off Nico’s concern because I wanted to wallow in my own issues. I’d have to figure out a way to smooth that over when I got back.
And that meant leaving Rio behind…
Why did I feel so guilty over my crush on her? Rio was the same woman who’d taken me from my life and dragged me into a mess of mythical politics. But she had changed, apologized for what she’d done, and we were friends. Real friends didn’t use or lie to each other, though, not even to help someone else.
Rio put out a couple plain gold goblets with her eyebrows up. It was our ritual that whenever she had something to drink, she offered it to me. Aos Si didn’t have the age restrictions on alcohol like back home in Florida. “Would you like any?”
I needed something to chill me out. This was about relaxing Rio, not indulging my doubts. “Fill her up.”
We ate in quiet, listening to the rushing of the waterfall beyond the lake and the trickling of the brook nearby. The rain back home sounded like that, growing from a tapping to a roar the longer it went. Before Abuela died, my family had this tradition of standing at the window to watch the rain roll in when a storm started. It would start as a mist, then morph into a curtain of droplets as it came closer and pounded the glass pane. I closed my eyes and took my first few sips of wine. It went down smoother than anything else I’d ever tried, with a subtle sweet aftertaste.
“What information did your meeting with Daire yield?” Rio asked, interrupting my mini-zen moment.
“His dad is doing the same thing you are, visiting around and trying to earn support. They’re in the western place right now with Fin…something.” It came out, no hesitation. Normally it took a little more to loosen me up that much. “Finbarra, I think?”
“Almost. Finvarra.” Rio sliced a corner of our shared pastry off with a dark knife that buzzed the same as her angry energy, and clutched some stalks of grass a little too tight. “He would be the easiest to sway to my side, either by appealing to his lust or his spite. I wanted to save him for after winning the rest of Manannan’s Brood.”
“Let’s save the campaign talk for after we get home.” Home. Usually I meant back with Mom when I said that word. That time I thought about the burrow instead. Was referring to it like that betraying Mom? “We’re relaxing, remember?”
“It has consumed my every waking moment.” Rio gave a defeated sigh as she leaned back against her arms. “What else are we supposed to speak of?”
“We haven’t talked about everything, yet.” I picked off a bite of the cake and swallowed it whole. It went down easy as I chased it with another sip of wine. Calm settled over my whole body like a blanket. Weird. My tolerance wasn’t that bad. I’d snuck drinks before and could take a couple bottles of beer before feeling a buzz. “There’s so much I don’t know about you, and you’ve been alive for God knows how long. I’ve only told you about Nico and Nate so far. I haven’t even mentioned Shaq and Frankie, yet. Then there’s the future…”
“How does one speak of the future when it is so uncertain?” Rio’s one swig of wine lasting longer than all my sips combined.
“You say what you want.” My fuzzy thoughts painted everything in a dreamlike state, full of possibilities. “Think of the best possible outcome and how you’ll get there, make a silly plan. It doesn’t always happen that way, but it’s nice to dream a little. Who knows? It could come true if you imagine it enough.”
“It’s rare that things are as simple as we dream them to be.” Rio stared at me, her eyes swirling with unspoken thoughts. “Your confidence, however naive, is tempting.”
“How is it naive? I get that my life isn’t perfect. A lot is missing. But if I want this impossible thing and that unrealistic goal, why should I have to choose? I can make a way to get both.” I snapped my trap shut before I got into specifics, and glanced down at my half empty goblet. “How strong is this stuff? It’s just wine, isn’t it?”
“It’s wine from Tir Na Nog. That makes it more potent.” Rio hid her amused grin behind another sip. Silver specks flashed in her irises. “Should I stop you from finishing?”
“No.” I set the goblet down and took a bite of cake. Nico said that eating kept people from getting drunk. Or was that one of the myths he’d debunked? “I’ll pace myself better.”
“Very well.” Rio slid the jug out of my reach. “As for your perspective on what lies ahead, I used to see it like you. I viewed my future as an open wood with unpredictable twists around every tree. It was thrilling, freeing. Then I became caged within Tir Na Nog. Now it seems like a set road. There are forks here and there, but all lead to similar cycles. Even now, when I seek to wander from the path, I fear the High King’s seat will only offer a different version of the same trail if I win it.”
“Then you’re setting yourself up to fail no matter what you do.”
“How would you paint my future?”
“That depends.” I leaned against her arm as lightheadedness caught up with me. “What do you want? No limits.”
“For others to respect me for my merits. Not to live in the shadow of blood-ties or history. The freedom to do as I please and a steadfast companion to share it with.” The moon made Rio’s ethereal glow all the brighter. Mom had always mistaken her for an angel in her stories. At that moment I could kind of see why. “Now your turn.”
“I see you in a simple house of your own, surrounded by nature.” I closed my eyes and let my imagination get carried away with the picture. She sat on a sofa in a little one story buried in the suburbs by a big nature preserve. It’d be at least thirty minutes from everywhere without much furniture, but she’d keep fox themed decorations here and there for personality. “But you’ve got this big job nobody else can do. People call you a lot asking for your help. There’s so many offers, you get to be picky with which ones you go out to and which ones you don’t. If you want to stay in bed or take the day off, you do it. When somebody really needs it, you’re there in a heartbeat. Everybody else? They’re at your mercy instead.”
“And the steadfast companion?”
“Whatever you want.” I popped into my fantasy, laying on the sofa next to Rio and resting on her lap. I swallowed that answer. “The president of the United States, or a Pomeranian that yips too much.”
It took a second for that to make it through the translation spell. She winced. “No dogs.”
“How about a guinea pig? They’re cute.”
“I didn’t realize how your constitution would take the wine.” Rio snickered. “Would you rather sit awhile until it passes, or have me help you back home?”
There was that word again. Home. It brought thoughts of the burrow more than the tiny apartment I shared with Mom. At its heart was the same warm body I leaned against. With everyone I loved far away, Rio sat nice and soft and there.
I looked up at her and her heart-shaped mouth. That urge had stayed buried under distractions for the last couple weeks, but the wine made my inhibitions thin. I should’ve dug up the nerve to stop. I pressed my mouth against Rio’s instead.
The silver sparks in Rio’s eyes jumped and tinted them pale blue. They clamped down on my heart without letting go. Was it the effects of the wine or some kind of magic pulling me apart? I didn’t care as the swirling thoughts in my head focused into one: yes.
Rio squeezed both my shoulders, her nails digging for a clinging second. She pulled me away and bit her lower lip, the same as when she was thinking over how to say something I wouldn’t like.
“I should get myself back,” I blurted in a rush as I scrambled up. I wobbled at first as I searched for that stream I’d used to find the mystical spot.
“Maya, wait.” Rio stood up and held my arm, steadying me. “Let me guide you, at least.”
“I’m fine.” I yanked myself away. Cold dread replaced the warm bubble from the kiss. Panic twisted my stomach. What had I done? “I’m just a little tipsy. I can still remember how I got here. You stay and…finish the treats. Get in a few more minutes of relaxing.”
“Don’t be stubborn, Maya—”
“Stop.” I turned away from her, forcing myself to look at anything else. “I can handle this. I don’t need you.”
Rio went quiet. The whining buzz of her energy ran under the faint rush of the waterfall.
I took off at a fumbling jog to the stream toward the burrow. After that? I had to find somewhere else. When did I let myself get so comfortable? How had a little trust turned to a heart-crunching want? I knew better, and Rio’s kind rejection shouldn’t hurt so much.