It was the night before Lisa was to visit. Albaer was used to dreaming of the things they did with his body, which was very strange, and sometimes amusing. ‘At least it’s not a mystery about what they’re doing with me. I wonder if I should be insulted that the only thing they’ve said about my dong is that it’s in the way?’
That question came up sometimes during his most private minutes of relief which had him watching the bathroom door and dreading them bursting in or needing to use it.
It didn’t happen, however. ‘They’re extremely respectful of my privacy, and they don’t seem to know their actions with my body replay in my head later.’
But looming largest in Albaer’s mind was Raziel’s suggestion of simply killing Lisa and disposing of her body. ‘Demon? Or, I suppose that’s not fair, would a human think differently? And how do I feel about that anyway? Am I seriously considering it?’ He asked himself that question, and immediately thought…
‘No. Absolutely not.’ Every time he thought of Lisa, he thought of what good friends they used to be. The way she laughed, an occasion where she kissed a ‘booboo’ when he scraped himself, that bright flaming hair and how it caught the light and how her smile lit up a room.
Then there was her mocking laugh before he fell down at her feet, and how she stood there watching. Saying nothing, doing nothing, until the others were gone.
He compared that to the angel and the demon with whom he now lived. ‘It hasn’t been a lifetime, it’s been no time at all, really. But Raziel protected my body, and both sisters took a risk flying out into the night to do ‘something’ to help me. If Lisa lets things slip, accidentally or in hopes of getting something out of it?’ Albaer hated asking that question because the answers were worse than either Lialah or Raziel could possibly have imagined.
The Japanese Imperial experiments on Chinese prisoners, the American concentration camps of Asian Americans that didn’t even get an apology for more than fifty years. The German genocide of the Jews, Slavs, Roma, and others. The Turkish genocide of the Armenians, the horror and slaughter of the last century and some, what humans did to their own kind? ‘How much worse would they do to a demon that is automatically despised merely for existing? What horrors would they subject a gentle soul like Lialah to in order to work out the secrets of magic? While they’re too weak to resist…?’ Albaer’s imagination could not have been anything but horrible.
And no matter how bad he thought it was, his certainty that he lacked imagination only grew. ‘What humiliations, what dehumanizations, and they’re easily exploited and manipulated too, compliance of one can be secured by threatening the other.’ He clenched his jaw hard enough that pain, dull and constant, radiated outward.
He lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling while he considered the options in front of him, the one thing he was certain of above all else was…
‘I will not let anyone do them any harm. Not even Lisa.’
Which left the problem of what to actually do?
‘Could we confine her somehow, keep her in some way that she can’t tell anyone until they’ve gained the skills to wipe her mind?’ Chills ran down Albaer’s spine when he realized just how casually that idea came up.
‘Are you seriously considering becoming a kidnapper? I guess that’s better than being a murderer, but on the other hand, maybe Lisa can actually help? If she’s genuinely sorry, maybe guilt will be enough?’ Albaer brought his left forearm up and laid his tricep over his eyes.
It was Raziel who finally broke the silence, joining him in his room, she pulled the computer chair over to his bed and sat beside him in line with the bed. She sat in silence for a little while, looking at him and waiting for his arm to come down at his side, and when it did and he glanced at her, she covered his hand with her own.
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The warmth of her hand never failed to strike him, like she was somehow ‘more alive’ than any human he’d ever known. Her sharp talon tipped fingers poked his skin without piercing it, a testament to her efforts to be careful with his body.
Neither one said anything, she just slowly tapped her talons on the back of his hand and searched his face for something, though he wasn’t sure what. Affection? Compassion? Worry? Fear? Whether she found what she sought or not, he did not know.
But whether it was found or not, it didn’t stop her from breaking the silence. “I don’t want to die here, Albaer. Me, or my sister.” She said it without the usual forceful confidence, a shyness, an uncertainty that was not totally unfamiliar to him out of her, but was very rare to be sure, slipped out in the way she spoke.
“I don’t want to live as… what did your shows call them… lab rats? And not just experiments for your race, either. My sister was more interested in the history of your world than I. For me, I like your tools. Your metal music, your games,” a little tiny smile formed, “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve been playing around with your computer a bit to learn more about how it works, I might have a knack for it.”
Albaer nodded along, still looking at her face but saying nothing.
“I think I could actually find some kind of happiness in this world, gods of the beyond know, my world wasn’t especially kind to me. But I’ll be able to hide myself here, soon. And then, then I can kind of have a life I can enjoy. No seal holding back great evil, no summons to worry about, this honestly won’t be that bad for me. For me or for Li-Li.” She used the affectionate nickname for her sister and leaned backward in the chair, looking up at the same ceiling as if she were searching it for answers.
“Why am I beating around the bush like this… the gods know I’m not one for that, look I think it’s best if we put an end to Lisa.” She spat the words out in a rush.
Albaer said nothing, he kept his face quiet, calm, and neutral, and only after seconds of this did Raziel cock her head down at him. “No protesting? No anger? No, ‘get out of my apartment’? Really?” The succubus’s breasts heaved as she took a deep breath. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but silence wasn’t it.”
Albaer chose that moment to answer, “What should I say? What can I say? ‘Don’t hurt my friend, you can trust her’? We both know that is a lie. I care about her enough to say I don’t want anything bad to happen to her… but the problem is… what right do I have to tell you not to protect yourselves? If she blabs, you could suffer immeasurably, and for as long as your race lives.”
“So you understand… it’s best if she does not survive.” Raziel answered, her voice gentle, her hand over his, it stiffened a little. “If I- if I am the one to do it, will you throw both of us out, or only me?”
“For what, trying to protect yourselves? Look at what my own kind does to me, it’s got to be even easier to dehumanize people who aren’t even humans. Whatever you do, I can’t help it. I can’t stop you. I can’t even blame you.” Albaer sat up in his bed, and Raziel moved to allow him to put his feet on the floor. He opened his legs enough to allow her to slide the chair back into place again.
When she did, he cleared his throat, his hand came out from under hers and though it trembled, it moved steadily upward to caress the horn jutting out of the side of her head, and then inside, to touch the dark red cheek.
Raziel could not move when he did this, in all their brief time together Albaer had barely touched them in any way. His roughest touch was to protect them from dangers they hadn’t imagined. All else had been casual, and a few times, intimately clinical when they could not move to care for themselves. On those occasions he even kept his eyes shut.
This however, felt very different, his hand went back, to run through her silky black hair, and he tilted her head slightly forward. “I will let you stay here, no matter what. You’re… friends. Maybe… maybe better than that. I understand you have to protect yourselves from any harm, I do. But if she dies, if something happens to her?” Albear bent forward and kissed the forehead of the succubus. “I’ll be sad for a long, long time I think. Please, think of something else if you can.”
Raziel was unable to blush, but the touch of his lips, cooler than her skin, but still warm, the bold way he spoke, and the sense of sorrowful doubt that suggested he had already given up on Lisa’s life, left her reluctant enough that she leaned back away from him so that all contact ceased.
In a clipped, decisive sort of way, she met eye to eye with her host in more ways than one and said with tight clenched fists…
“I will try.”
“Thank you.” Albaer answered, and then Raziel got up, walked out, and shut the door behind her with no more words to pass between them.