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016 Do I Have To Learn The Language Of Sorrow?

016 Do I Have To Learn The Language Of Sorrow?

After informing his mother of his proposition, Jay opened an online shopping app on his phone.

He wanted to browse for things that would improve his quality of life, such as portable exercise equipment and supplements.

As for why he opted to search online instead of in physical stores, it was because there were significantly more options available online.

Also, he had to assess every product using Identification, and it was more convenient to do so with images, as opposed to real products, which involved meddlesome clerks and the act of traveling itself.

He would only go to physical stores for bulky or commonly found items, such as a wall fan or a foam mattress.

He had fifty thousand in his account, and he wasn't going to be frugal in his purchases, especially when it came to self-improvement.

Of course, he didn’t intend to purchase random items without intense examination.

Although he had a huge windfall recently, he never let it get to his head.

He was still the frugal young man who cared too much about value.

As for spending a considerable amount of money at once as a mere university student, he wasn’t too worried about it.

Even if he were somehow discovered, there was always the excuse that the money was a gift from someone.

Further scrutiny was also highly unlikely considering his status as a mere university student, unless he was caught doing illegal things, which he himself wasn’t inclined to do.

Technically, his secret business could be considered somewhat illegal, but he didn’t think much of it, as he knew in his heart that he wasn’t trying to hurt anyone with it.

To him, everything was permissible, as long as it didn’t infringe on his conscience.

He purchased any useful items he could think of at the moment.

He didn’t need to get everything he needed at once, as he could just buy more items later.

He also couldn’t buy too much at once, considering the size of his rented room, which he was reluctant to leave due to its proximity to the university as well as the familiarity he had built over the years.

He didn’t feel the need to rush things, as he had enough confidence that his situation would eventually improve even further.

This windfall might be his first, but it certainly wouldn't be his last.

After his buying spree, Jay lay on the bed with a light feeling in his chest, knowing that everything was going well for him now and would get better still.

Essentially, every aspect of his life had undergone considerable improvement ever since he unwittingly stepped into the metaphysical world.

His cognitive abilities had improved to the point where academic responsibilities had become a mere formality to him, which was not necessarily a good thing.

In the past, he wanted to become an electrical engineer because of his mathematical inclinations and the career possibilities it offered.

Although he still wanted to become one, the desire wasn’t as prevalent as before, since more interesting options had become available to him.

Considering the way things were going, it was bound to be mere public persona to hide his identity as an ascendant.

Perhaps he shouldn’t neglect this aspect of his life, as it was still quite interesting in its own right.

Who knows, his career might even lead him to meaningful interactions and treasured moments he wouldn’t have experienced otherwise if he solely focused on the metaphysical aspect of his life.

On the other hand, his confidence had also improved along with the development of his ability.

The feeling of having a unique quality that most people don’t possess had considerably improved his sense of self-assuredness and control over his own life.

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Somehow, a balance had been formed between his improved confidence, his innate cautiousness, and his ability’s corresponding weakness, Nosiness.

Now that he thought about it, Nosiness had mostly been irrelevant in his daily life, most likely because his innate qualities inherently countered it.

From what he could recall, it had only truly come up in the aftermath of the incident with the psionic lifeform.

His intense desire to dispel the fog of ignorance had ignited his emotions.

It even reached the point where he felt deep-seated anger and frustration towards the psionic lifeform for the complications it had caused him, and towards himself for his inability to understand the situation.

Fortunately, his long sleep afterward had restored his mind’s clarity, allowing him to recognize the issue and regulate his thoughts before it could seep deeper into his psyche.

To prevent it from inadvertently affecting his judgement once again, he had to constantly remind himself of its existence whenever any semblance of mystery was afoot.

In another note, he wondered when the psionic lifeform would show up again.

Of course, he didn’t want it to be soon, considering that he hadn’t really improved much compared to his state during the incident.

He would only be inviting trouble upon himself if he insisted on interacting with such a creature, whose very existence he was clearly incapable of withstanding.

However, despite the threat posed by the psionic lifeform, he was still curious about every aspect of it, from its degree of sentience to how it interacted with the world.

Nevertheless, it seemed like he could only interact with it when his metaphysical qualities had developed to a certain degree.

Hopefully, the next qualitative improvement of his ability would finally grant him some semblance of metaphysical senses, even if they were the most basic ones.

He felt that it was the key to perceiving the existence of energy-based entities like it, as well as other interesting metaphysical phenomena.

On the other hand, he was certain that the elders were in possession of esoteric methods that would allow him to safely interact with psionic lifeforms, even with his current level of development.

However, it appeared that the elders had no intention of granting him this convenience, as they had not revealed their presence thus far.

He didn’t blame them, though. He understood very well that there were things he had to experience himself.

It was like the dangers lurking in the metaphysical world, as mentioned by the elders.

Before the incident with the psionic lifeform, the danger had been mere words he remembered only because he was told about it.

Now that he had experienced it for himself, he was finally aware of its significance and wouldn’t dare to take things as lightly as before.

To be fair, he wasn't actually in danger, as the psionic lifeform had already been pacified by the elders before it was handed to him.

It probably didn't have malicious intentions when it attempted to interact with him.

However, he was still shaken by the experience at the time, primarily because of his inability to do anything about the anomaly he was drawn into.

Perhaps he just didn't want to get swept up in matters outside of his control, which might have been the true reason why he was angry and frustrated at the time, and not solely because of the intense desire to rip open the veil of mystery.

-

At the moment, Jay was lost in his thoughts while he lay on his bed, unaware that a significant event was about to happen.

All of a sudden, his thoughtful mood was pervaded by a familiar feeling of somberness, albeit to a lesser extent.

Having experienced a similar feeling before, he didn’t lose his composure this time. Of course, it greatly helped that the effects were not as intense as before.

When he thought about it, it almost seemed like his thoughts about the elusive creature had actually summoned it to his side.

It seemed like he would finally get to interact with this troublesome creature soon.

Somehow, he noticed that the light-hearted feeling from the recent windfall had been counterbalanced by the sadness induced by the psionic lifeform.

However, it wouldn’t take long for the latter to take over, as the former had already begun to fade away because of the recent development itself.

It seemed like he could nullify the feeling of somberness with positive thoughts and emotions, as the reverse had been proven possible just recently.

Therefore, he tried his best to regulate his emotions by deliberately uplifting his mood, which wasn’t too difficult considering the recent happy occasion.

Fortunately, he managed to regain a semblance of balance in his mental state after a while.

It was quite strange when one examined it deeply.

How could someone possibly counteract the constant intrusion of sadness into their psyche?

It wasn't like the interaction between conflicting emotions was akin to a mixture where one could just adjust the ratio whenever an imbalance occurred.

Obviously, thoughts and feelings were far more complicated than that.

However, the sheer power of his enhanced cognitive abilities allowed him to perform the strange feat of precise emotion regulation, albeit reluctantly.

He had somehow subconsciously formed something akin to a virtual machine within his mind that was responsible for keeping his thoughts and emotions stable.

Even he was unaware of such an interaction within his mind.

He had been focused solely on balancing his emotions because he didn't want to experience anything like the previous incident, where he had been nothing more than a mere spectator in someone's life with his cognitive functions severely impaired.

Now that he had stabilized himself, Jay tried to interact with the psionic lifeform by once again performing Identification on himself.

However, the information he received didn’t involve the creature somehow.

It seemed like it hadn’t technically made contact with him during this time, which was probably why the feeling of sadness wasn’t as severe compared to last time.

He was certain that the psionic lifeform was still lingering around, as he still hadn’t felt the intrusion of sadness subside.

He decided to wait for the other party to interact with him, as he couldn’t do anything on his side at the moment.

He wondered how the psionic lifeform would interact with him. Telepathy, perhaps?

Just as he was thinking about it, he felt a semblance of irregularity in the constant intrusion of sadness, like ripples on a calm lake, or distortions on a perfect sine wave.

He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he could somehow make out thoughts from these emotional fluctuations.

Now that he thought about it, it was quite fitting for a lifeform born from intense emotions to communicate in such a manner.

Of course, he didn’t know how to respond to such a mode of communication.

With no other options, he just resorted to the one mode he was most familiar with.

“Hello there.”