“Like I said to the previous guy, nobody enters without a properly filled form signed by a god which was accredited by the mortal reincarnation office.” Said the angry female secretary.

“Come on, you must be kidding, right ? I waited for years in that line and nobody ever mentioned any goddamn form.” Responded dumbfounded me

“Your godly adviser should have helped you fill the correct forms after your arrival in the afterlife. If you lost it, that’s you own fucking fault. Now please, move aside, we have a great many other customer to process and only so much time” Screamed the heartless bitch

“But … But … come on !” Pleaded desperate me, while shedding manly tears

Then “Next ! ” she screamed again, trashing all my hopes and dreams

***

And thus me and Mark where kicked out of the waiting line by guards ... right at the end …

Just in front of the gate that would have led us to reincarnation …

After all those years …

I really feel like crying right now …

“But at least, we still have each other, right Mark ?”

“Fuck off, I’m not in the mood for your rant right now” Well, to be frank, neither am I Mark, but we have to stay strong. We have to face adversity together.

Thus, Mark and me are now on a great quest to find the mortal reincarnation office. Office that we normally shouldn’t have visited if our advisers had done their job.

Personally, I’m pretty sure that my adviser should have been survey man. If not him then I don’t know who … Goddamnit, that asshole really screwed me over.

I want my anal virginity back !!!

By the way, did I mention that that survey guy pisses me off ?

Because he does, you know ? On a brand new level, a level only he can reach !

“Right Mark ?”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

*sigh* “Of all the people on this goddamn plane, why do I have to be stuck with that fucking senile old man ? What did I do to deserve this … Tell me great gods, I shall mend my way this very instant !” He then begged while falling on his knees. Well, metaphorically speaking, of course. We are still desktop lamp, remember ? We don't have knees ...

But back on topic, it looks like Mark, our little drama queen, is having another one of those mental breakdown … Stay strong Mark, it’s just a phase. It’s gonna go away, like your hopes and dreams …

Or you expectation about this place ...

“Whyyyyyy ?” He asked, while sobbing. “Gods, why have thou forsaken meeee ?”

Ah, Mark can seem like a tough guy sometimes, but he really is just hugs and cuddles on the inside. He really get’s emotional too easily, to the point that he would sometimes hit me for no reason. But, deep down, I just know that this drama queen just needs some loving.

“Come on Mark, it’s not the end of the world, the guard was kind enough to point us in the right direction.” Well, after he laughed his ass off, he probably nearly pissed himself. “Now onward, let us accomplish this great quest and, together as one, access the gift of reincarnation.”

Also, fuck Janine, she knew about the form all along but never said a word about it !

This is treason ! Mute-iny !!!

“Right Mark ?” I asked with a cheerful tone

*sfx of a grown floaty soul having a mental breakdown while sobbing uncontrollably on the floor*

“Yup Mark, just as you say … Now, onward !”

And thus, we walked toward the random direction we had been pointed to by a random guard, fearing neither the dangers that lies ahead, neither the gods who had forsaken us both !