“My names Lew. Just Lew.
Yeah, I have superpowers. Yeah, you’ve probably seen me on TV as some super supervillain or another is kidnapping the mayor or robbing a bank or some shit.
But I am still just Lew. I ain’t taking some over the top name like Bullseye or Excelsior. I ain’t one of those leotard wearing jackasses who destroy the entire bank “saving” the hostages and stopping the criminal. My suit works just fine for my job. Besides, I guarantee my hand made italian suit is worth more than any two standard hero costumes combined. Looking professional helps with the other side of what I do, plus I look like god damn James Bond in this thing.
Now, you wanted to know what happened right? Well it was Friday. Most people were heading home, but a job like mine doesn’t exactly come with standard hours. Guess that’s why they pay me the big bucks.
As I was waiting for the cue to start working, I sat and enjoyed the sunset. Seems like most supers have a hard on for starting big clashes at one of three time: sunrise, high noon, or sundown. Me? I prefer to enjoy my evenings with a beer and a smoke. So that’s what I was doing, dangling my legs off into space and enjoying a nice smoke. Can’t drink on the job.
Anyway, right about the time my cigarette is burned to the filter and I am beginning to wonder if Mr. Bubbly, that would be Captain Cola on the official records, was right about all this, it finally happens.”
“Who’s Captain Cola? Can’t believe you’ve never heard of him. Yeah, he doesn’t have the power to get into the big leagues, but he’s pretty well known. One of the few corporate sponsored heroes still around. Amazing how fast smashing a building or unintentionally endangering a bystander will get you dropped by a big company. Bubbly was one of the few smart enough to avoid PR nightmares and charismatic enough to get away with the small stuff. Plus his power level was just right. Weak enough to not be a real danger to the areas he fights in, strong enough to take down most villains. He’d be more dangerous if the big bosses let him use his liquid manipulation on anything besides the soda they give him, but that’s besides the point.”
“So like I was saying. Ricktor comes stomping down the street like all the walking catastrophe types like to do. I woulda been more worried about the footprints he was leaving in the road, but I wasn’t paid to clean up the big guys mess. Hate dealing with the earth manipulation bozos, only thing worse than flying bricks when it comes to collateral damage.
Flying bricks are those super strength, super speed, nigh invulnerability, and flight types in case you were wondering.
Anyway, moment the guy shows up Captain Cola comes out from the bank and starts doing his big hero speech. Standard “We don’t have to do this, surrender now and it will be better for you in the end” type spiel that polls well with the consumers. Sometimes it even works! Like I said, the guys charismatic.
I wasn’t paying too close attention, it was time for me to get to work. So I dropped down from my seat and headed over.”
“Yeah, that would have been about the time people started screaming about a guy jumping off the roof. You’d think with all the supers around they’d freak out a little less about that sort of thing. Five stories ain’t exactly gonna kill most of us.”
“Of course nobody got hurt and nothing was damaged. I’m good at my job, and I wouldn’t keep it if I was causing property damage or civilian casualties. Now, can I get back to what I was saying?”
“As I was heading over it became pretty obvious Rick had no interest in surrendering. If Bubbly is one of the types in it for the fame and fortune, Ricky was in it for the brawl. He wanted an excuse to hit somebody as hard as he could. Somebody who could take the hit, and return it with interest.
You get a lot of sadomasochist types in that line of work. At least I assume that’s the case, given how much so many of them seem to like being on either side of the pain. But again, that ain’t my job. I’m not some fancy Super Psychiatrist.
Before the two morons could start going to town, I’d started throwing up barriers. Most people wouldn’t notice, I’ve gotten enough practice in that my barriers are all but invisible and cling right to the surface of whatever I am putting it on. Nobody even knows it’s there until somebody throws a bundle of C4 at it, or hits it with a punch that would shatter most city blocks.
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Anything inside one of my barriers is frozen in its current state. Not states of matter state, state of health. You shoot a guy inside my barrier? The bullet ain’t going through his skin cause his skin is frozen in its current state of fully intact. Course, that means you ain’t gonna heal in one either. You got a guy 1 gallon away from bleeding to death in one of my barriers and he is just gonna stay like that. The blood won’t flow out of him, but his cells aren’t going to be dividing either. Works pretty much the same on inanimate objects.
So like I said, I start throwing up barriers. The buildings, the cars, all 17 people within sight of us. Since I have a certain amount of control over my powers, I made sure the doors to all the buildings were frozen in the closed state too. Easier to coat a bank to protect the people inside, rather than every customer there for a deposit. Only two I didn’t coat were Bubbly and Rick.
Well, them and the road. I used to coat that too, but super villains with ground powers don’t like that much so it voids my contract or gets them coming after me. Beside, another geomancer can fix it up just as easy as somebody like Ricky busted it.”
“Why don’t I do the hero biz too with a power like that? Same reason I don’t coat the ground anymore. Doesn’t matter how strong you are, you get enough super powered adrenaline junkies coming after you at the same time and sooner or later you are going to have a bad day. I ain’t got the heroic personality, not the type to risk my life for some strangers. If I do my job right, I don’t make enemies because I don’t pick sides. At least not semi-extralegal enemies who just want to get in a super powered brawl.
Besides, I get paid more to do the job I got. I make as much in a quarter as Captain Cola makes in a year.
Could I get some water or something? Mouths getting a little dry here.”
“Thanks.”
“From what I was told when I was hired, Ricktor was planning to rob the bank. He planned to just sink the vault into the ground a good half mile or so, smash the building, and burrow down to it later. Take his time breaking it open after everything had died down. Course, seeing how what he really wanted was a fight after getting his ass handed to him by Enforcer last month, he had gone and “drunkenly” blabbed about his plan to a two bit crook he knew some heroes use as an informant.
Ricktor, real name Rick Grimes, is pretty set on money. He contracts himself out to other villains to help build underground layers. With the combination of his Masters in Civil Engineering and his terrakinesis he does good work. Sure, his power is strongest producing artificial fault lines to stimulate earthquakes and sinkholes, but he is pretty flexible.
Nah, this wasn’t about money. This was about proving he is still a real villain with real power. Somebody to be respected for his strength and abilities. He may not be an A lister, but he’s pretty good. Guys like that have to keep a close eye on their reputation. They don’t have enough power to not care about it. It sinks to low, and they will be dealing with every newbie villain who wants to make a name for themselves. They let it grow to big and Enforcer puts you in the hospital for a week when you attempt to demolish your soon to be ex-wife’s lawyer’s office.
Bubbly, of course, had anticipated that this was the case. Well, his support team had. Guy is smart as a whip when it comes to social situations, but doesn’t have much in the way of cerebral power the rest of the time. Point is, they made sure he had plenty of Cola to work with on site. Usually he has to rely on what he can bring with him in that hydration pack and the bottles on his belt, but HQ supplied him with 20 55 gallon drums this time. They give him all the flat stuff that comes back after sitting in a store or vending machine for to long. That way it looks and smells right, but they ain’t wasting valuable product.
That’s also why they hired me this time. Like I said earlier, usually Captain Cola isn’t powerful enough to put infrastructure at risk because of how much they limit the liquid he can use. Every once in a while they like to do a publicity stunt. Without all that liquid to control, Ricktor would be out of his league too.
Knowing that something like this going badly could get Captain Cola’s picture stuck on every anti-superhero picket sign from New York to Honolulu, and not wanting to pay millions in damages, Corporate was smart enough to talk to their Insurance Agent. That’s where I came in.
I am a Personal Insurance Agent of Browley and Sons Insurance Company’s Metahuman Events Department. I help insure heroes and villains by preventing damage that the client would be liable for in the first place. Saves the company money, saves the client money. It’s a win-win for everybody.”
“Yes, I really am an insurance agent. Well technically, I am more of an Insurance Policy. You pay to utilize my service for a certain amount of time, and during that time I decrease the amount of damage you would be liable for and potential costs of routine business. Here’s my card.
It’s also why I wear the suit. Can’t be meeting multi-billionaire clients in a T-shirt and jeans.”
“Back to the business at hand then. As I am sure you are aware, Rick won their little fight. Bubbly made a good show of it, but Ricktor has more experience fighting at that level. Of course, the Captain managed to exhaust and heavily injure Ricktor in the process. Guy had to give up on the plan to rob the bank and use what was left of his power to escape from the area. A win for both of them really.
That close of a fight means it’s going to be all over the news. Captain Cola will be recognized as a hero willing to put his life on the line for the people and drive up corporates profit margins for the next month or two. Ricktor will have shown off how powerful he is in the videos taken by bystanders and most new megalomaniacs will think twice before challenging him. At least until that video fades from mind.
The entire area ended up a syrupy, sugary mess of course. Don’t worry about that, we alerted Corporate that we would not be held responsible for the clean up of the soda and they assured us they would pay to have it cleaned. They’ll probably just have Bubbly take care of it when he regains consciousness. As for the street, your cities insurance should take care of buffing out those earth spikes and filling in those craters no problem. You do have insurance right? If not, well, you have my card.”
As I slip back out of the interrogation room I feel myself slipping back into my well polished business voice. The one I use when on camera or talking to the fancy ponces that cut my checks. “Well I am glad I could help officers. If you have any other questions about this event feel free to give me a call at the number on that card. And please remember, any names related to this event are to be kept strictly confidential under the Metahuman Privacy and Protection Act of 2014. You have a good evening now.”