Date: Immeasurable
Location: Outside the Universes
“Well, that went perfectly according to plan,” a shadowy being mused as he read the reports that he gained from his minions. “First, I don’t have to adjust the variables that I’m using on my end any time soon. Second, I don’t have to worry about the so-called ‘Dimensional Overseer’ causing as much of a mess on me. I just love it when a good plan comes together like this.”
Within his office space, the shadowy being sat behind a mahogany desk in a swivel chair that was made of human leather, which was starting to lose its fresh smell. A shame, too, since human leather was supposed to be good for five decades before losing the fresh smell. He’d only had this particular chair for four decades at most.
In front of the wall to his back, there stood a row of bookcases that held books on various topics, with only one major commonality between them all… they were written in a script that would make any mortal start to question their sanity just by looking at it. It was comparable to the Voynich Manuscript, which he still needed to retrieve from wherever it went to. It went without saying that he missed that particular tome by a long shot.
On the wall to his direct left, there was a collection of mounted guns that had various dates and ammo types assigned to them, which he kept clean and in well-maintained order. Under the guns themselves were the different types of ammo that they used, ready for when they needed to be fired off. It said a lot that he cared about his guns more than practically anything else… even the Voynich Manuscript.
On the wall to his direct right, there was a closed window that showed that he had a few bird feeders outside of the building. It wasn’t often that he needed to refill the bird feeders, maybe once every other month, but that was mainly because the birds were that picky with the food he provided. He gave it a brief glance, to see what all he needed to do with the feeders. There was nothing he needed to do in regards to that. He turned his gaze away from the window —
*RATATATATATATATAT!!*
He turned to face the window one more time. He saw a bird pecking at the glass with enough force to leave cracks in it.
What in the world?
He walked over to the window and, just as he was about to open it, saw that the bird was pointing at a distant bird feeder with its left wing. He blinked a few times in rapid succession, before he focused his eyesight on the indicated bird feeder. It was the only bird feeder that had all the best nectar he could put into it, and yet it was completely devoid of it.
Oh, fer cryin’ out loud…
He walked over to his intercom and pressed it active. “Squallo, please refill the special nectar for the king bird feeder in the yard, will you?”
A few seconds of silence later, there was an answer. “Did one of the birds bug you about the nectar?” Squallo asked over the intercom.
“Yes.”
“Okay, I’ll be right on it, then.”
“Thank you,” the shadowy being said, deactivating the intercom.
As he walked back to his desk, he took note of the rest of the room as a whole. Next to his intercom, there was a bookcase that had reading material suitable for a high level computer programmer, still written in the script that he used for everything. It would really be a right shame to make it so that mortals of any sort could enjoy the writing within the text. He was not about to lose the advantage in terms of programming security.
A sudden stench hit his nostrils. Who in their right mind ate taco beans without the rest of the taco? He thought, even as he walked back to the window to air out the office.
Upon opening the window, he realized that there was something wrong. Most of the wildlife in the area where he called home was supposed to be visiting for his feeding stations by this time of year, and yet there was only the one bird who nearly broke his window to tell him what was going on with a single bird feeder. Man, this is ridiculous, he thought. Where did all the animals go?
At that point, there was a knock at the door of his office. “Boss, it’s Belphegor,” an impish male voice called out from the other side of the door. “May I come in?”
“Depends, Belphegor,” the shadowy being said, turning to face the door. “What could be so important that you need to enter my office immediately? I don’t make it a habit of letting people enter the office without a good reason.”
“You might want to accept this flash drive that I got from a potential business partner for you, sir,” Belphegor said. “I didn’t look into it, but I know that the business partner is someone who you don’t want to make mad at you for any reason.”
The shadowy being paused when he heard that. He could name three people who fit that criteria, and none of them were interested in working with him. Who could it be that wants to do this?
“May I come in, sir?”
The shadowy being walked to his door. “Just as a heads up, I need to have my office aired out,” he said. “I don’t who in their right mind would eat taco beans without the rest of the taco, but—”
“What are you talking about, boss?” Belphegor asked. “We don’t even have taco beans, forget about the rest of the taco ingredients.”
“We don’t? That’s new on me,” the shadowy being said, opening his door. “Can you smell it from outside?”
Belphegor, who was an actual imp, wrinkled his nose at the stench from within. “That’s definitely not right,” he said, grimacing at the stench. “Whoever set up a stink bomb in this office needs to pay the fines.”
“I know, right?” the shadowy being asked. “Now, you said you have a flash drive to give me?”
“I do, yes,” Belphegor said. He pulled the flash drive out of his interior coat pocket. “Please make sure that nobody eavesdrops on you watching and listening to the message provided by the sender.”
“Okay, but why?” the shadowy being asked.
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“Let’s just say that this sender is so important, it’s not even funny,” Belphegor said, putting the flash drive inside his boss’s hand. “I’m not allowed to say any more on the subject, I’m afraid.”
“Why not?”
“I had to sign a geis contract to get this to your possession immediately.”
“You had to sign a geis contract?!” the shadowy being roared out.
A geis contract, otherwise known as curse contract, was especially considered taboo in the realm where they resided. In terms of what that entailed, a geis contract involved a conditional curse that was outright stated within the binding words of the document. To think that an imp had to sign a geis contract for one reason or other… the shadowy being had no words for this.
“I’m afraid so, boss,” Belphegor said, dropping his head in shame. “I wish that this wasn’t a requirement at all…”
The shadowy being sighed. “No use crying over spilled milk, or so the mortal saying goes,” he said, pocketing the flash drive. “I’m just glad you’re alive right now, to be fair.”
“I’m glad to be alive, too, boss,” the imp said. “Now, I need to get back to my station, since I finished that task.”
As Belphegor was about to walk away from the door, the shadowy being placed a hand on his shoulder. “How about we discuss the agenda, first?”
Belphegor turned to look at the shadowy being, mouth agape.
The shadowy being couldn’t blame the imp for the reaction. Normally, he wouldn’t allow for any delays on his subordinates’ parts to getting back to work, which meant they had no way of taking breaks while they were still on the clock. This was him breaking protocol that he set in stone a long time ago. “No, seriously, let’s discuss the agenda for the time being,” he said.
“Okay, boss,” Belphegor said with a slight nod. “We’re still in the process of gathering resources for the spy jobs on the enemies we have, which is saying something, since what resources we do have are not quite up to par with spying on them all the way through.”
The shadowy being tapped Belphegor’s still held shoulder. “How come you say that?”
“Well, Mammon requires more funding to research all the spy materials we need to keep tabs on all our enemies unnoticed,” the imp said. “We’re just incapable of getting everything all sorted out with how lazy our budgeting skills have become, with Mammon having the best skills in this department. It’s just becoming impossible without her superior money management skills.”
What is wrong with this picture? The spy materials are doing a splendid job… The shadowy being put his other hand to his chin. “Tell you what, Belphegor,” he said at last. “How about you tell Mammon that she’ll be getting an increase in the budget to fund that research and a massive pay raise in terms of her hourly wages. Will that work out for her, do you think?”
Belphegor blinked at the idea the shadowy being suggested. “I… I think she’ll love this increase to the budget and to her personal money,” he said after trying to get sound out of his mouth for a few seconds.
“Perfect,” the shadowy being said, putting the hand at his chin down. “I’ll have you go tell her the details, okay?”
Belphegor nodded vigorously, as if all the more eager to tell Mammon the news.
“Good, good,” the shadowy being said, letting go of Belphegor’s shoulder. “Now, let’s get you over to your office space, shall we?”
“I’m on my way right now, sir,” Belphegor said, before walking on his way back to his office.
The shadowy being nodded, before he closed his office door. Finally, the stink’s gone from my office, he thought. Now I need to close the window and put that flash drive into the computer as it should be… or am I mistaken? I hope I’m not mistaken about this.
He walked over to the window that he had opened up earlier and closed it. Fortunately for him, the window was intact after closing it all the way, especially since his window was cracked from the bird pecking at it like a machine gun shooting a person.
Now, what sort of person is responsible for this flash drive arriving in my possession?
He shrugged, before he walked back to his desk and pulled the chair out of the desk. He was about to sit down at the chair when he remembered that he had the flash drive in his pants pocket. As he pulled the flash drive out of his pocket, he saw that it had a special emblem that was out of place with normal flash drives of the realm. The emblem looked like a wand on top of a crescent moon, which was on top of a witch’s hat, with the whole flash drive colored black for the base device, purple for the witch’s hat, white for the moon, and brown for the wand.
Who’s responsible for this, I wonder?
He shrugged at his own thought. Was it really necessary to know that bit of information? He didn’t think so.
With all of that, he sat down and placed the flash drive down at the desk next to his laptop, which sat on the desk with its cord attached to the power outlet. He was still charging it as he worked on the computer, reading all the reports that he needed to look over.
Well, I wonder how much information is even on this flash drive I have? It shouldn’t be that much, or so I understand it.
He opened the laptop back up and typed in his credentials, before he picked up the flash drive to jack it in. However, just when he picked it up, he heard the intercom go off again. “Boss, Mammon here,” the speaker said. “Thank you for granting my request for funds. However, I don’t get why I have the raise to my hourly wages. Could you please tell me why I have it at all?”
The shadowy being placed the flash drive back down, before he got up from his seat and walked over to the intercom and pressed the correct button to answer her. “It’s because your efforts at research were more than good enough to deserve a raise in your pay. On top of that, you deserve a bonus, now that I actually think of it.”
“But, I… thank you, boss,” Mammon said. “If I might be so bold to ask, how much of a raise and a bonus do I have from this point going forward?”
“Your raise is an extra five hundred weilong per hour, and your bonus is equal to what makes up your current paycheck back paid over the years since you worked for me,” the shadowy being said. “Please be ready to use the money properly, okay?”
“Of course, sir,” Mammon said. “I’ll make sure to put it to good use right away.”
“I’m glad you understand,” the shadowy being said. “Now, I need to get to work on something over here, so, if that’s all, I’ll be headed back to it.”
“Yes, that’s all, boss,” Mammon said. With that, she deactivated the intercom connection.
The shadowy being sighed. Man, good help is hard to come by on the cheap, is it not?
With a slap of his face, he cleared his thoughts. “Get a grip on yourself,” he said out loud. “I need to get to the flash drive immediately. Who knows what I need to download from it immediately?” He walked over to his desk again, sat down at the chair, and plugged in the flash drive.
A few moments of waiting later, the laptop’s auto-play feature kicked in, showing the shadowy being a (mostly) blank video that had found its way onto the thumb drive. “To the one known as the Enemy of All Souls, otherwise shortened down to EAS, I have a proposition for you,” a person said through the video itself. The being in the video had the vague outline of a woman, though the actual gender was hard to discern based on the video quality so far, even if it was just a case of a darkened room obscuring the figure… and was that cloth in front of their face? “If you want to succeed in your plans of destroying the afterlives, please type in the code number for the word ‘virgin’ in the next ten seconds. Ten, nine, eight—”
The shadowy being blinked in shock when he heard this. Who is this person, anyway? What do they have in mind for this operation? Even so, he typed in the code as was prompted by the person on the other end, even if he didn’t think it was a video call.
8, 4, 7, 4, 4, 6.
With that, the video file brightened. “Thank you, EAS, for taking my offer seriously,” the owner of the voice said, even as the fully revealed woman’s face truly hid behind the cloth. She removed the cloth from in front of her face, going from the bottom up. “It’s a pleasure to know this will be beneficial for everyone.”
The shadowy being, now identified as the Enemy of All Souls gaped when seeing this person. No, it can’t be… can it? After a few seconds of panic, he finally asked, “Are you… who I think you are?”
“You tell me, EAS… you tell me who you think I am,” the woman in the video said.