The 40th Killing Game.
Pain.
For what felt like the millionth time, Naegi was suffering from a headache that was so bad that Naegi thought his head was surely being split into two. It was as if an iron pike was being stabbed into his brain. This time though, there was something different.
It wasn't just his head. His throat was also searing, as if he had somehow swallowed fire. He could almost feel Junko's nails still digging into him, causing every nerve in his entire body to flare up.
Coughing roughly, Naegi tumbles out of his desk and tightly grasps his neck between both of his hands. It was as if he were trying to choke himself. When Junko had punctured his neck, it felt as if his throat was being flayed. Every single breath he took had sent a new wave of agony throughout him, swirling his vision. It was the worst pain Naegi could have possibly imagined.
Naegi retches once, and then twice. On the third, he vomits messily on the floor. The bile only served to sting his already agonizing throat. It was horrible. It was all so horrible.
And yet it still wasn't over. This time, it seemed that Junko had managed to murder him after all. And since he was murdered, that meant he was back here. He was going to have to go through several more weeks of the same exact thing in order to get back to where he was. Several more weeks of faking his emotions, several more weeks of lying to his friends.
He had been working for so long. All he wanted to do was to save his classmates. But now, he was back at the start. He had failed to accomplish anything. Naegi couldn't even successfully comfort Ikusaba… Junko had killed him before he could.
Junko.
Junko Enoshima.
junkojunkojunkojunkojunkojunkojunkojunkojunkojunkojunko
She was the catalyst. Everything that had happened - the Killing Game, the apocalypse, Naegi's time loop… it was all her doing. She had literally invented time travel and brought up the end of the world for one reason.
Despair.
Junko did all of this so that the world could feel Despair.
Naegi was completely exhausted. He was worn down. He was in pain.
But he wasn't in despair…
Yet.
Naegi had been killed dozens of times now. He hadn't ever felt the need to learn martial arts or self defense techniques - he was generally the type to approach everything with nonviolence. He had always felt that simply talking to someone could resolve matters peacefully. But being strangled by Junko… it was the last straw.
I need to be able to defend myself.
Dragging himself up, Naegi shoves his hand into his desk and grabs the pamphlet. Not caring if it was dirty or not, he wiped the vomit from his mouth with it before tossing it onto the floor. Slowly, he walks down to the main hall, getting ready to introduce himself to his classmates.
Again.
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"Hey Ogami… I know that you said that I'm not fit to be your training partner, but… can you train me in the way of martial arts?" Naegi glances up at Ogami hopefully.
It was the day after Naegi saved Ikusaba - he had stopped by Maizono's murder and Ikusaba's murder, all in the same way. Naegi approached Ogami just after they had wrapped up the usual morning meetings to drop this question on her.
Ogami looks at Naegi strangely. "Hm. You didn't strike me as the type to pursue martial arts, Naegi."
Asahina bobs her head up and down. "Just what I was about to say! No offense, but you look like you couldn't hurt a fly!" She had been hovering around Ogami, as usual.
Naegi shrugs and grins sheepishly. "Well… I don't think that anyone would try to attack me, but better to be safe than sorry, right?"
"... Very well. I would be happy to give you lessons."
Naegi nods, apparent relief spreading through his face. He wasn't surprised though - Naegi knew that Ogami wasn't the type to turn down a request like this. Acting relieved was what a regular Naegi would do, one who wasn't plagued with memories of thirty-nine killing games. "Thanks, Ogami!"
"Sakura's the best!" Asahina says excitedly. "I'm sure that you will toughen up in no time, Naegi!"
"We can do our lessons in the gym, after the morning meetings." Ogami glances at him with a touch of curiosity. "I wonder…"
"Huh?"
"No, it is nothing. Farewell."
Naegi wasn't stupid. He knew that muscle gain wouldn't matter at all, given that he basically transfers into a new body every time a new killing game began. Working out wouldn't matter as all of his progress would just be reset. But if he learned more tactical ways of fighting, such as pressure points and martial arts, then that could carry over as muscle memory.
The main purpose of doing this, obviously, was so that Naegi would be able to defend himself. He would prefer it if he stopped getting killed.
But Naegi had a different motive, one that was a bit more selfish - he wanted to keep himself entertained.
It was like reading a novel over and over again. You skim over the parts you already know - reading it, but not really paying attention. Except this wasn't a novel - Naegi couldn't simply fast forward through the parts he had already gone through. Doing things differently, such as asking for Ogami to train him, helped keep him from getting bored.
It was hard at first - Ogami's training was rather harsh, and Naegi practically collapsed after the first fifteen minutes. But just like when he had practiced acting with Celeste, he slowly got better and better.
Naegi had spent a lot of time with Ogami, but he still had tons of free time after their lessons. He didn't really have much to do, so he had decided that he would investigate the school for any clues on his situation. Surely, Junko must have left a clue or some piece of evidence about Naegi's time traveling… right?
Well if she did, then she must have hidden them pretty well.
Because through the next several killing games, Naegi finds nothing in his investigations.
Nothing.
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The 54th Killing Game.
The only people in the gym were Naegi and Junko.
It was all the same situation as when he first got choked to death by Junko, save for two key details. First, Naegi had made sure to lock the gym doors so that Ikusaba couldn't interrupt them. Knowing her, she could probably just smash down the door if she wanted to, but hopefully she wouldn't resort to something like that. Trying to break down a door wouldn't go unnoticed by either of them anyway.
"Oh, Naegi. Are you gonna have your way with me before deciding my faith? Naughty boy!"
The second…
"I'll be taking these." Naegi walks over to Junko and snatches both of her Monokuma-themed hairclips away. He pulled a bit too hard though, and he ended up getting a few stray hairs along with the pins.
"Ow! That hurt!" Junko whines. "What's the big deal?"
"Come on, Junko." Naegi sighs and puts both of her clips into his pocket, so she couldn't try to take them from his hands or anything. "You already know what the big deal is."
"Alright, alright." Junko's face breaks out into an eager smile. She looked like a kid who had just been told by their parents that they were about to go to an amusement park. Innocent in every way. "How many times has it been so far, huh? I wanna know! Tell me tell me tell me!"
Naegi's eyebrows scrunch up as he attempts to recall. He really had been trying to keep count, but with the time gaps in between them being so large, he had lost count more than a few times. "I'm not sure… but at least fifty by this point."
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Junko pouts sourly. "Awwww, really? I woulda guessed at least a hundred. I mean, look at the bags under your eyes! Little ol' Naegi looks like a corpse!"
"Junko." Naegi says, voice suddenly becoming scratchy. He tries to swallow, but found that he couldn't. His throat was as dry as a desert. "Can't… you just tell me how I can stop all of this?"
"Alright." Junko's face suddenly mellows out as she takes a deep breath. "I'll tell you. The honest to god truth on how you can get out of this mess."
"Huh?" Naegi couldn't help but drop his jaw at Junko's sudden change of heart. "Really?"
"Yep. Just invent your own time machine." Junko deadpans.
Naegi sighs deeply. "Junko… Don't you care about your games being fair? In the first Killing Game, you gave everyone a chance to investigate. You gave everyone a fair chance at discovering your identity, even though one of us was the Ultimate Detective. Though you've lied and tried to cheat, you owned up to it when we figured everything out. Despite all of my time loops, I still remember the first game well. You clearly care about giving us a fair chance - so that you could possibly feel the despair of defeat."
…
"So just tell me - have you really left me a chance? I've investigated the school dozens of times, and found nothing that could point me to anything."
…
Junko's face was neutral when she finally responded. "Naegi, do you know why I'm obsessed with Despair?"
Naegi blinks. "Because you're bored, right?"
"Yep." Junko's eyes seem to glaze over as she begins to talk. "For my whole life, nothing was fun. I knew everything that was going to happen. I couldn't feel like a normal person either. I just felt empty, all the time, At first, I thought that this was normal. But then I heard about how people felt things like 'happiness' and 'excitement'."
"What were those things? I tried asking other people about these 'feelings', but they all just gave me a weird look. As if I was crazy. When people looked at me like that, I felt annoyed. It was one of the few things that I could feel - annoyance. I hated it. I just wanted to feel something else, something happy. I tried to act as if I could feel emotions, but that didn't help. But as I grew up, I realized that this was impossible. No matter how much I tried, I could never feel happy. So what could I feel?"
…
"After I failed to make myself feel happy, I tried to make myself feel surprised. I watched movies that had twists and turns, I went to haunted houses whenever they were in season, I even tried to read thriller and horror books. Nothing worked. I just felt bored, and I hated it. I was beginning to think that maybe I was just stuck with feeling irritated at my own boredom for the rest of my life. But the third time was the charm."
"You tried despair." Naegi says softly.
"I had a friend - Yasuke Matsuda. He was one of the only friends I have ever really had. Do you know what I did to feel despair? I built a giant sand castle in front of Yasuke and right as I was about to finish, I secretly demolished it. Then, I acted like someone else had destroyed it. I even shed some crocodile tears." Despite the scene she was recollecting, Junko's expression hasn't changed one bit. Her tone was disturbingly monotone and her eyes had as much life in them as a pair of marbles. "He was furious. Watching Yasuke run around like that, desperately searching for whoever destroyed my sand castle… it made me feel despair. Why had I lied to him? Why had I destroyed something that I spent so much time working on? These despairful questions ran across my head dozens of times. And with that despair, came surprise and happiness. I was surprised that I was actually feeling something and at the same time, I was happy that I was feeling something."
"Don't you see, Naegi? Despair is the only way that I can continue living. And causing the despair of others is the best way to make me feel some of my own despair."
...
Face still completely neutral, Junko begins to talk in a listless fashion. There seemed to be zero emotion behind her words, and the lack of her usual energy was enough to send a shiver down Naegi's spine.
"You were found guilty. Which means you lost the game" Junko says at a painstakingly slow rate. "Because you have lost the game, you have been condemned to execution."
…
"Fne." Naegi suppresses the urge to vomit as he looks away from Junko. He couldn't stand to look at her any longer. "I'll just find a way out on my own. I don't need your hints." With that said, Naegi turns around and goes to the gym doors in order to let everyone back in.
As soon as he unlocks them, they practically swing open. The doors barely miss Naegi, who had managed to jump back in time. In front of him, there was Ikusaba.
"Are you finished?" Ikusaba asks tonelessly. Though she seemed nonchalant, Naegi could see hints of irritation on her face.
"Erm… yeah." Naegi nods. "Um, can you bring me to everyone else? I'm done talking to Junko."
Reluctantly, Ikusaba nods and motions for Naegi to follow her. As she turns around however, Naegi couldn't help but see a small twinge of disappointment register on her face.
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"Before you ask, I do believe you. Your 'predictions' have all come true. So I suppose that there's no real reason to doubt you."
Naegi pulled aside Kirigiri to talk to her about his plan. With her being the Ultimate Detective, she could really help him out after all. During the loops where he had invested time into investigating the school, he had asked for her help a few times, but he mainly had worked alone. Why he had decided to investigate solo, Naegi wasn't really sure himself.
During this loop, Naegi had already told her about his time traveling and most of the important details that came along with it. Like last time, he told her a couple of predictions in order to prove that he knew about the future.
"Thanks Kirigiri. But I didn't pull you aside to ask you about that - I want your opinion on a plan."
Kirigiri motions with her hand for Naegi to continue.
"I… I want to stay inside of Hope's Peak. During our time here, I want to investigate the school and find any hints about my situation as well as any hints on how to break me out of it. Since we have access to the control room through Ikusaba, unlocking all of the rooms in this school shouldn't be much of an issue."
Kirigiri stares at Naegi with mild surprise. "That's a surprisingly selfish plan."
"Huh?"
"Keeping all of us in here just so that you can investigate your own problem. It's selfish no matter how you put it." Kirigiri deadpans.
Naegi's face reddens. Kirigiri was right - what he wanted to do was pretty selfish. But he couldn't help it. He rarely got the opportunity to investigate the entire school. In fact, he had only gotten the chance once - during the first Killing Game. Even when Ikusaba had gotten access to the control room, he was always sent back in time by Junko before he could do anything else.
"I can't really blame you though." Kirigiri sighs. "An infinite time loop... To be blunt, it sounds like hell. It's basically immortality but worse. You said that you wanted my opinion? I think you should go along with it. If you really are a time traveler, then none of this will matter anyway right? We're just going to go back to the past again."
Kirigiri was right, of course. He would just go back in the past in the end and none of his classmates would remember anything. The thought of it still made him feel guilty though. He was using his friends just to save himself from a bad fate… even if the 'bad fate' was basically an eternity of torture.
"O-Okay." Naegi says hesitantly. "I'm going to find a way out of this time loop. After that, I'll save everyone again. Then we can all get out of here together."
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"I think the right thing to do would be to keep Junko alive. We stay here, safe within the school just like we promised the principal. Until we can ensure that Junko is free from Despair, we should keep living here."
Naegi looks at the rest of his classmates as they stand outside of the gym, and more importantly, outside of Junko's earshot.
"S-Stay here?" Fujisaki asks nervously.
"Yeah. We can leave anytime we want, right? At the very least, we should think it over. It's not like we have a time limit or anything." Naegi explains.
"Ah, taking the safe route Mr. Naegi?" Yamada nods in approval, a wry grin on his face. "Can't say that I'm surprised. You are quite the passive student."
"We can tie her up or lock her away to make sure that she doesn't try to do anything fucked up." Kuwata suggests.
"Keeping her imprisoned is obviously the optimal choice." Togami says coldly. "Lock her into one of the dorm rooms and deliver food to her on a daily basis and keep a constant guard outside of her room."
Hagakure shrugs. "I dunno man, isn't that kind of inhumane or something?"
"Idiot. Do you think that there's any alternative save for execution?"
"Well, we c-could take her outside." Fujisaki says hesitantly. "I-I mean, I'm sure there are therapists out there who could help, right?"
Ikusaba clears her throat. "Seeing that you're all so divided… Why don't we take a vote?"
Naegi nods. "It would be more fair and organized to vote. Why not?"
"Is there anyone here who would like to stay inside of the school for the time being?"
Nine hands go up: Naegi, Kirigiri, Yamada, Ishimaru, Owada, Maizono, Kuwata, Togami, and Fukawa."
"And those who would want to go to the outside world right away?"
Five hands go up. Ogami, Asahina, Hagakure, Celeste, and Fujisaki.
Naegi glances at Ikusaba curiously. "You're not voting, Ikusaba?" They weren't discussing Junko's life this time, but Ikusaba seemed to insist on remaining neutral.
Ikusaba shrugs nonchalantly. "I honestly don't have a preference… anyway, I guess it's decided."
The other six students who had been outvoted seemed a bit downcast, but they still accepted the outcome - it wasn't like they were going to stay here for the rest of their lives anyway. Besides, now with Junko restrained, they wouldn't need to fear the Killing Game anymore.
"Ikusaba, can you unlock the next floor as well as all of the other locked doors?" Kirigiri asks.
"I'll get to that right now."
As Ikusaba leaves, the rest of the students go back to Junko was stilled tied up on the floor. In order to prevent Junko from escaping, Naegi had actually doubled up her binds, leaving pretty much zero room for her to even move. She was snoring in an exaggerated manner, apparently fast asleep.
"Zzzzzz…"
J-Junko?" Fujisaki says hesitantly.
"Huh?" Junko's eyes snap open and she quickly looks around. "Oh, you people. Man, you guys took so long that I fell dead asleep! I was so bored!"
"We've decided that we will stay here." Naegi says firmly. "You will be restrained in one of the rooms in this school."
"Oh, I kind of figured that out myself." Junko shrugs. "Let me just ask Naegi - how many times?"
"Huh?"
"How many times will you go through this before you finally learn that you can't beat despair?" Junko says, tsking as she takes off her binds. Somehow, she had managed to untie herself once again, despite Naegi's best efforts. The ropes fall to her feet neatly, coiling up like a snake. "You can't escape your punishment."
The rest of his classmates, save for Kirigiri, looks on in confusion.
Naegi quickly turns to Ogami. "Erm, Ogami! Can you please hold onto her before she-"
*SMASH*
Before Naegi could finish his sentence, Junko slams the heel of her boot down onto the floor as hard as possible. The entire floorboard shifts downwards and a small clicking noise sounds out. It was quiet, so quiet that it was almost stuffed out by the ambient noise alone. But to Naegi, it felt like the clicking noise was loud enough to shatter his eardrums.
"More than just one trigger, Naegi. More then just two, more then just three, more then just four… You're gonna fuckin off yourself before you find all of the ways that I can send you back."
Naegi had set up his plan and was ready to investigate the entire school.
But it didn't matter.
It never mattered.
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The 55th Killing Game.