Gary loved his life. It was a simple life, but as his good ol’ father used to say, simple is best. Make some money, get wasted, sleep with some hoes, rinse, and repeat. And when people complicate things for you… all you need to do in return is to remind them how simple things can become when a good beating gets involved. No more excuses, just results. Now, he found himself in the first step of his simple life. Precisely, collecting funds.

“Hahaha straight into the boiling cauldron!” Panting heavily, Gary finally caught up with the rat who tried to run away from him. Big mistake that. All running did was awaken the hidden predator instincts in him. In 99.99% of cases that almost always led to more violence. In his mind that was already a scientific fact. Now, he was boxed in between two of his goons, who previously split to run around the block to corner the guy at the end of the alley, which hitherto, he was slowly leading him towards.

“And that’s how you get yourself one cornered rat, boys”. Gary said while menacingly approaching his target.

Meanwhile, the scared man was backing slowly away from him, with his hands up in the air in front of him, palms up as if he was trying to both placate him and raise an invisible shield in front of himself at the same time. All while looking back and forward, between Gary and his goons who kept approaching him from the other side, he finally hit the wall with his back in the middle, closing all avenues of possible retreat.

“Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, what did I tell you last time? Didn’t I say it’s not gonna end well for you if you try to run away?” Reaching inside his suit jacket, Gary grabbed a pack of cigarettes, then he adroitly flipped one into his mouth. One of his goons already on standby with their lighter out, lit it up for him. After nodding his chin in thanks towards him, he took a long puff to calm down his lungs that had been screaming at him after all that running, and then as if to vent their frustration he released all the smoke straight into Johnny’s face.

“Here’s how things are going to happen, Johnny, you’ve got ten seconds to cough up the money, otherwise we’re going to beat you like a pinata and see what drops out. Comprende?”

Face full of snot and tears, Johnny speaks out.

“I’m sorry Gary, I swear on my own kids that I’ll get you the money, just one more day Gary, one more day, I swear to God! I’ll give them to you Gary! Please, please, please, just one more day, that's all I’m asking!!!” Gary said while falling down on his knees with his palms now clapped together, praying to him as if he was his one and only God on this earth.”

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Meanwhile, Gary looked down at him like a Roman Emperor, passing judgment on one of his pit fighters. Unperturbed by Johnny’s begging he continued to count indifferently, as if the violence that was about to happen was just another part of the process.

“4”

“3”

“No! Please no!” Johnny continued to beg for his life.

“2”

“I promise I’ll give it to you Garyyy…!”

“1!”

As if Johnny’s fate had already been decided by the stars and the Gods that live within them, Gary knocked back his fist and prepared to punch out. Only that just as he felt his fist hit something, he was hit himself by a wave of nausea and vertigo, everything went dark, only for his vision to return a moment later, to find that he was no longer in the same alley as before, no sign of his goons, and around him was a circle of robed people, and right in front of him, there was no Johnny on the floor, but someone dressed like the Pope sat down on the floor nursing a bad case of broken nose.

With what one might think were refined movements the wannabe Pope lifted himself off the ground and raised his hands in the air as if in supplication, and started to address him with a nasal voice that might or might not have had something to do with him breaking his nose.

“Ofhm , Dhaark hfoane …

Seemingly unsatisfied with his voice he turned his head and stared at one of the robed people who quickly as if reminded of something lifted what can only appear to be a wand, and with a quick incantation, and one golden light that went straight towards the guy’s nose, healed it completely.

“Better, now where are my manners, excuse my impoliteness Dark One, and if I upset you by bringing you here, I duly apologize and assure you that it was for a good cause because we need you and you are the only one that can help us, oh great Dark One!”

Gary was unsure of why he was addressing him as the Dark One until he turned to look at the shiny surface of one of the marble pillars, where in its reflection he could see himself, an eight-foot demon with claws and horns staring back at him. After calming himself down and getting the story from what he later learned to be one of the Demon’s Cult Archbishops, he was summoned here to lead them towards a new era of prosperity and what other not bullcrap…after killing them all and finishing basically what he started with Johnny since all that frustration had to be vented somehow, he finally got what he wanted, mainly all the gold and what other valuables that he could find, and there was a lot of it. Step one was complete, he was going to proceed with the next two steps in his simple life, that is: to get wasted and get lucky. Only it seemed that normal booze wouldn’t suffice anymore for his new body, and neither did sex. But after killing all those stupid cultists he found something else just as good, if not better. Blood, yes blood, blood, and flesh, blood, and flesh would do just fine for him from now on.

Gary the Demon Lord laughed into the night.

“MUHWWAHAHWHWAAAHHWAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”