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Chapter 24: Granny’s Tea Party.

Chapter 24: Granny’s Tea Party.

Chapter 24: Granny’s Tea Party.

I came out of the tunnels and into a large open space. It was similar in size to the clearing where Pete and Walder made their camp, but this place was brighter.

More alive.

There was a false sun in the sky, giving light without heat and illuminating the entire meadow.

Thanks to this, the house was completely visible, without a shred of shadow to take away from its lovely exterior.

In a sentence, the cabin looked right out of a German fairytale. The kind of story called “Das Brutal Kinder Shredder”, that ends with the evil hag taking all the children of the town because they didn’t believe in paying their parking fees or something.

‘Well don’t be shy now. Come on in. Don’t mind the mess.’

My treasonous legs did her bidding without protest. Every step brought me closer to death’s own door. All without me being able to stem the tide in any way.

My eyes were constantly darting back and forth, checking to see how much Psy I had to work with. I needn’t have bothered. In truth, I was more than capable of telling with my inner sight alone.

I was as spent as an all-you-can-eat buffet on the weekend of the sad fat guys convention. Nothing more to give.

Zilch.

Nada.

Zero.

Oh goody.

I couldn’t believe this was how it all ended.

After making it this far.

After surviving the centipede swarms, the robber with the shotgun, the two wackos in the mushroom forest, the bloody soldier, the shrews, the leviathan, the freaking evil gnomes.

All so that I could be strung along like a marionette.

Dancing to someone else’s tune. That thought brought back memories of the first time I opened the ability selection screen and all the horrible skills found therein. This being, whatever or whomever they were, had overpowered me completely.

What other things could they do?

Was I about to lose my memories? Having every facet of my being sandblasted off?

Scary. It was too scary. Too horrible for words.

I tried to speak but words failed me. I tried to flee, but my legs would not obey. Even Buddy was silent, apparently as overwhelmed as I was.

‘Now now. No need for all that tussling and hustling. This is a good thing. I swear.’

‘Let me go.’ I pleaded. Knowing it was a futile gesture.

‘Heh heh heh! Oh! Let you go!? That’s rich sweetie pie! I’ve met some colourful characters in my time but you newbies never fail to get a chuckle out of old Granny Golden!’

The telepathic link spiraled around me, her own strings binding me closer.

‘But. I am nothing if not generous. You say you want freedom? Then take it. All you need do is spend every ability point you have on a little trifle called [Block Mental Attack].’

‘Liar! I already have it and it’s not doing anything!’

‘Oh? Must be my merchant privileges. How about [Interrupt]? Do you have that?’

Now, that was obviously a trap and a very poorly designed one to boot. If I were in a calmer, not fighting for my state of mind, I would have even called her out.

Too bad I wasn’t.

My one measly ability point went into the first option with no hesitation.

Name:

Solomon Carter

Psy:

4/245

Type:

Telepath Level 39

Abilities:

[Sense Thoughts] 4 / [Message] 4 / [Mental Bolt] 4 / [Fever] 4 / [Fear] 3 / [Static Illusion] 4 / [Hide] 3 / [Faint Presence] 2 / [Mental Map] 3 / [Precognition] 5 / [Friendship] 3 / [Meditation] 3 / [Block Mental Attack] 2 / [Block Mental Detection] 2 / [Premonition] 3 / [Confusion] 2 / [Psychometry] 2 / [Interrupt] 1

Ability Points:

0

As my lifeline dissipated, I felt the familiar tingle of new threads emerging from the endless void within me.

They wove themselves into a cocoon with all due haste, bumping against the restraining influence and trying to repel it.

For a brief, heart stopping instant, I felt the sway giving ground.

Until another push sent my poor brain reeling within my skull. The little bubble took in more Psy to repel the invasion until it drained me dry.

Once it ran out, it simply popped out of existence, along with my consciousness.

______________________________________________________________________________

To say I was surprised to stir some time later would be like saying America had a bit of a debt problem.

I genuinely could not believe I was still alive.

I mean, why would I be? Especially after falling for such an obvious ploy and losing the last vestiges of energy I had. In the middle of enemy territory, no less.

No.

It made no sense that I would be here, on a bed made of gingerbread, with all my resources replenished. This must be what heaven looked like. Huh. I guess all my good intentions were noticed after all.

“Ha! He! Ha! You’re not dead yet dearie! Not if old Granny has anything to say about it.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” I answered politely, taking in the unnatural crow-headed thing with alarming suddenness.

“Now that is rude. After all the niceties and courtesy, I showed you. Where did you learn those manners boy?” It, she, stopped at that.

“You are a boy, right? Primate physiology is uncomplicated, but you never know. The labyrinth is a big place and pulls in all kinds.”

“I…I…”

“You need to calm down dearie, before you do something stupid. I’m here on assignment and the System won’t let me kill students. That is…”

She leaned in close, her beak almost touching my face and her big black eyes peering into my soul.

“Unless you try to hurt me first.”

Her posture relaxed. Her feathery frame re-aligning her dishevelled azure robes as she collapsed backwards into her armchair. Her too-large jeweled bangles and bracelets clinked like the coffers of some brutish warlord as she finished settling down, eliciting a feeling of unease within me.

“Now then. Introductions.”

Silence hung in the air while I made strange noises. A symptom of the sheer astonishment I felt. Or maybe head trauma from my fall.

“Nonsense. There wasn’t anything wrong when I found you. You were as pretty as a babe.”

“Uh. Right.” I managed with some effort. “Thank you. For not eating me and taking my ears.”

She laughed, or cawed, I guess. It was a bird call that sounded close to laughter and I felt levity off her posture.

But not her mind. It remained closed to me. Shut tighter than a bank’s vault.

“Why did you trick me?”

“Trick you? What, that little stunt earlier? Nonsense. I spoke nothing but the truth. Literally. I’m not allowed to lie while on this assignment. The system would literally rip every single on of my atoms apart before either of us could blink. I merely informed you how these things are supposed to be defended against. Its not my fault you had so little Psy or such a sad number of points.”

She nodded sagely.

“Don’t feel too bad about that in any case. My bosses block most of my sensing abilities, but I’m pretty sure you’re only level 15 or so. A tad below standard, considering the time you’ve had to train. Things will get better. Trust me, I was a mess when I got taken. Took me a full cycle to finally get going at a decent pace.”

She was looking down on me. All that effort, all that training while hungry or sleepy or tired and this freaky-Friday looking bird person was looking down on me.

Good.

Let her feel superior. She hasn’t hurt me yet and gave up a whole heap of information for free. She doesn’t need to know I’m at 39.

“PFFTFS!” She made a queer half chortling, half squawking noise. Then grasped her throat and did some weird hand gesture. Finally, she started breathing normally again.

“Oh yeah. You were reading my mind. Kinda slipped by me. I guess I’m stressed out. Sorry about that.”

“Holy jumping Gozo kid! Level 39? It’s barely been a month! You’re a monster!”

For some reason, despite the absurdity of the situation, that hurt me more than anything else.

“I’m a monster!? You’re the one who mind-controlled me here against my will! You’re also a Telepath! Don’t be throwing rocks when your house is made of glass!”

“Wha...? Why would you bring my Type into this? What’s wrong with being a Telepath?”

“Everything! Telepaths are evil! You had me under your control! You could have done anything to me!”

She looked like she was about to say something else, but cut herself off before the words could form. She drew in a breath with some effort, behaving in a manner that was eerily close to human.

Indeed, if I didn’t know better, I’d say she was some weirdo in a costume. A very big costume. With claws.

“Please forgive me for my outburst. It was unprofessional. I will also apologize for bringing you here in such a…clearly distressful manner. While we shopkeepers are not allowed to harm Students, showing off is one of the ways we’re allowed to indulge. It was my mistake and it won’t happen again.”

Another deep breath ensued, where some of her feathers settled back down.

“I am not interested in your preconceived notions of morality.” She managed after a regaining her composure. “Neither should you, for that matter. Being that strong this early means you’ve probably been levelling through introspection and self-discovery, rather than brutality. Hating yourself will only prove detrimental.”

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

She paused for effect, seemingly lost on how to phrase her next words.

“Besides, it would be a terrible waste of talent.”

“Is that why you brought me here? For my talent?”

“Nah. I’m not after your potential. I’m after your money.”

I blinked once, then twice more.

Saying nothing.

“Okay. Um. You’re not my…uh. I’m more into human women.”

She brought up a claw and waved it dismissively.

“Allow me to clarify. I am a shopkeeper while inside your Tutorial. It is my duty to dispense with amenities in exchange for fair compensation.”

“Oh. Right. I have Store Tokens.”

“And nowhere else to spend them.” She waved her other claw and a tea set floated into the air between us. With a graceful twirl of one of her digits, the pot tilted and dispensed its contents on both cups.

It would have taken my breath away, if it weren’t for my dagger. She probably had some item that let her do that.

“Consider this treat a freebie. Take it. Savour it. Calm down and put yourself at ease. After that, we can talk business.”

“Screw that. If you’re not going to kill me, then I have questions.”

“Good! Questions are good. It’s a sign of an active, healthy mind. Ask away. I’ll answer to the best of my abilities. So long as the compensation is right.”

I had shot forward without realizing it. My hands felt clammy and cold. My heart was beating so fast it felt like it was trying to dig itself out of my chest. This was it.

“How do I get home?”

“The answer to that is worth 5, 000 Store Tokens.” She chirruped happily. “The currency isn’t physical, not unless you’re dead or you want it to be so. You can’t hand them over as you’d be used to. Just will them over to me and I’ll get to your question.”

“I…don’t have that many.”

“Shame.” She responded, without any hint of surprise of remorse. “Though maybe its for the best. I don’t have any input on my prices mind you. I didn’t decide to charge that much for something so banal.”

“Banal!? That’s my life we’re talking about!”

“Calm down sweetie. I know. I’ve been where you are right now. Its not fun. I’m only saying that because you’ll get that tidbit for free later. There are better ways to spend your money.”

I was hyperventilating by that point, half from rage and half from frustration. By some miracle, I managed to stay focused, telling myself this was too important to mess up by being emotional.

“Very well. Tell me why I was taken.”

“That’ll be 15, 000 Store Tokens.”

“Nope. I obviously don’t have that. Tell me where we are.”

“Oh, that one’s free darling. We’re in the Labyrinth. More specifically, one of the Tutorial sections.”

“No, I meant where in space. Relative to where I was taken? How many kilometres? How many miles?”

“I don’t know the answer to that cutie pie. Projector isn’t my main Type. Presumably somewhere in an uninhabited dimension.”

It came so fast that I almost missed it. Thankfully, my paranoia was keeping me sharp through each sentence in hopes of latching on to something important. Like this.

“What do you mean, main Type?”

“Hmn?”

“Don’t play coy with me. You said it as if it were possible to have more than one Type.”

“Well of course dear. That should be obvious. Did they not have dual Types where you come from?”

“I…uh. Would prefer not to answer that.”

Of course, we did. Thunder Fist was famously both an Enhancer and a Projector. But there was no way I was revealing secrets about earth’s defenses to some alien who might subsist off crying babies for all I knew.

She squawked in indignation, leading me to supress my own thoughts with a metaphorical vice.

“You mentioned not wanting to hurt me. Doesn’t that include mind reading?”

“I’ll stop if you wish.” She said levelly.

“I do wish. Please stop peering into my brain.”

“Fair enough, I suppose.”

“Now tell me how to get a second Type.”

“Sure thing. That will be 45, 000 Store Tokens.”

“Okay, now you’re clearly yanking my chain.”

“On the contrary my dear customer. I’ve been nothing but polite this whole time. Or, at least I’ve tried to be. I’ve also apologized for my earlier rudeness. You, on the other claw, have treated me with hostility and contempt. I understand why you’re scared. I was too. It shows you’re using whatever wits the divines saw fit to give you. That said, it does not excuse this lack of manners.”

I was about to say something mean when I caught myself.

She, had a point.

I was letting my earlier experiences with the gnome lord colour this encounter and that wasn’t fair to Granny Golden. If that was her real name.

There’s no way it was in any case and more importantly, it wasn’t fair to me. This was a real chance to get clues and I was pissing it away like a moron. A few niceties might go a long way here.

“You’re absolutely right.” I conceded while doing my best to look remorseful. “This whole ordeal has been challenging. You don’t deserve to be treated like an enemy. I thank you. Sincerely. For all you’ve done so far. Having a safe place to rest has been awesome by itself and I haven’t shown how grateful I am. I promise to do better moving forward.”

Not knowing what the correct bird person etiquette was, I went for a deep bow and made to put on a show by finally drinking the offered tea.

To my surprise, it was fantastic. Rolling down my tongue as if to kiss my entire digestive system.

My host stared into my eyes. The black beads on her face not moving an inch. Slowly, she began to chuckle.

“Boy. That is some scary talent you’ve got. I genuinely believed you for a second.”

Her posture changed to a more casual one.

“That said, I appreciate the gesture. Let’s continue.”

“Thank you very much.” I bit my lip slightly, wondering whether or not to go for it. “If there was no way to accomplish my goals, would the question still have a price?”

The caws rocked the little fairytale cabin. It felt like laughter. Genuine and filled to bursting with mirth.

“That is rich! Ha ha! Rich! Oh, you prodigies are all the same! My dear Corko was like that too! Too smart for his own good! Ha ha! That question sounds innocent! Indeed, considering I’ve answered a few for free, you might even think there’ll be no price. If I say no, then you know there is a chance to get home! If I say yes, you’d be losing nothing!”

I waited patiently for her to stop mocking me. Or maybe she didn’t mean anything bad by it and that glee was caused by returning memories.

“Sure thing sweetie. I’ll give you that one. No. If I ask for a price, then there is a way. I’m not inclined to cheat you. I see too much of myself in you youngsters for that. Its part of why I was given the gig.”

I was about to say something else when she put up one her claws.

“That’s it. There’s a limit to the amount of time Students can spend in this particular safe zone so as to avoid you kids hunkering down for the whole Tutorial. You’re almost there already. Since I like you, and I have a feeling you’ll become a bigshot soon, I’ll do you a favor.”

She slipped me a folded binder. On the cover were a bunch of human children playing in a field of poppies.

“I am within my rights to recommend items to you, based on my own observations. Take a look at the ones I’ve circled.”

I shut my mouth and did as I was told.

Inside was a shopping catalogue, filled with all sorts of goodies. Anything from medieval weaponry to preserved nutrient bars. All of which were shockingly cheap, ranging from 2 points per bar to 25 points for crossbows. None of those were marked, however.

Instead, Granny had made special note of things like Spatially-Imbued Flask, Spatially-Imbued Backpack and Granny’s Special Cooking Kit.

The first two were a tidy 500 Tokens each while the latter was a whopping 3, 000.

Part of me wanted to call her out for being a dirty scammer right then and there. That was, until I read the descriptions.

Spatially-Imbued Flask

Flask that may contain up to 300 Litres of any given liquid. Standard issue for the discerning Student.

This item is connected to the Student via a corresponding ring and may be summoned or stowed away at will.

This item will remain in its own pocket space until it is called upon.

Spatially-Imbued Backpack

Backpack that may contain up to 300 Kilograms of weight. Standard issue for the discerning Student.

This item is connected to the Student via a corresponding ring and may be summoned or stowed away at will.

This item will remain in its own pocket space until it is called upon.

Granny’s Special Cooking Kit

Robotic processing unit created by Granny Golden. Removes all toxins and poisons from dead flora and fauna, as well as processing them for consumption.

This item is connected to the Student via a corresponding ring and may be summoned or stowed away at will.

This item will remain in its own pocket space until it is called upon.

My eyes widened until I thought they might pop out of their sockets. This was good. Too good. It should have been given to each survivor from the beginning.

With this, I might make a difference.

“Looks like you’ve realized it. He he. It is no good for you, since you’ve got that suit, but others won’t be so lucky. Nothing impresses the ladies like a man that knows how to cook. Trust me, I would know. He he he.”

“Thank you. This will help everyone else a great deal. You…might have helped save lives.”

I meant those words. Starvation had almost killed me once already. This equipment would be mana from heaven to anyone else I came across.

Who knows?

I might even be able to leverage my… generosity, into a partnership.

“Don’t mention it sweetie. You are paying for it after all. Also, do me a little favour and keep a little crumb of advice in mind.”

She leaned in conspiratorially, not losing her veneer of joviality as she did so.

“These are scraps compared to that suit of yours. Don’t let anyone know what it is. Not for a few months. You can’t afford the Equipment Upgrade Token yet. When you can, make sure you use it on that.”

“Him.” I corrected her, as politely as possible. “Buddy is not a thing. He is my friend.”

It was hard to tell with the beak and the lack of expressive eyes, but I could have sworn she was smiling ear to ear.

“You have no idea how right you are boy.”

She, did what I assumed was the human equivalent of chuckling and I matched her out of politeness.

“One more thing.” I pressed, thankful that I caught the information when I did. “Why were you surprised by me being level 39 and why do you think I’ll be in a position to help later?”

“Oh, that’s both easy and free.” She waved a clawed hand dismissively. “I don’t have access to this Tutorial’s statistics, but during my day, our tournament’s finalists were all from Elite difficulty, as everyone from the higher, Peak difficulty had died.

All but one had reached the Tier 1 cap of 50. A couple had even gone past it and they let us know how their particular corner had progressed.”

“What happens when you pass 50?” I interrupted.

“If.” Granny corrected patiently. “One doesn’t just pass 50 and get into the second Tier. One first needs to combine abilities into a higher Tier. You need at least one Tier 2 ability to reach level 51. Same goes for Tier 3 and level 101.”

“I see. Sounds simple enough.”

Granny let out a sad chirrup.

“Only those blessed with exceptional skills would think so. You see, levelling gets harder and harder the stronger you are. Being level 25 at month’s end means you’re a prodigy. Those nearly reaching level 35 after a month would be the geniuses among geniuses. Being as strong as you are four weeks into your enlightenment would only be possible if you’d been a ridiculously powerful Esper before the system took you. A true Savant. Most of those who’ve previously awakened by themselves cannot progress past their original state, but there are always exceptions.”

Those words left me stunned. Stupefied.

I kept my eyes locked on to her as time seemed to slow and other senses became blurred. My throat felt as dry gain, like it had when I’d first awakened. My veins felt hot, as if boiling tar was running through them. My heart was beating like a thousand drums in concert. My hearing failed, as her words congealed together into a continuous hum.

There was no way.

“The system does that sometimes. Taking a true powerhouse who’s also compatible with further growth. I’m guessing you’ve felt a familiarity of sorts with your former abilities. Some innate connection. Naturally, this means that levelling is easier. You’re merely recalling your own prowess rather than developing it from the beginning. Unfamiliar abilities would be a challenge but hardly insurmountable.”

That feeble film trapping the presence under the lake weakened. Then, it died without resistance. From beneath the brackish waters, a foulness surfaced. Contaminating the remnants of my sanity.

Clawed, crooked limbs emerged from within my chest, my ears, my nose, my eyes. Gently caressing this beaten shell.

“Shut up.” I said at once, trying to keep my hands from shaking. “I wasn’t a Telepath before I came here. You’re lying.”

She squawked in obvious derision.

“Now, now, there’s no need for that. I thought we’d come to a mutual understanding. I cannot lie to you. Under any circumstances. You must have some recollection of an event…”

Her words fell off as the outline of the tall man burst into my mind. I couldn’t remember his exact height. Nor the colour of his clothes. Nor the colour of his hair.

The embrace of the arms grew tighter, comforting me as a mother would a baby. Urging me to finally look beneath the bubbling lake. To see the full, terrible splendor of my own reflection.

“You have to be lying.”

“I already told you. I can’t…”

“STOP!” I bellowed, feeling that thin membrane restraining the lake within me give way. From its depth came unwelcome memories. With them, came wrath and strength.

The bird complied at once, surprise evident on what passed for its face.

The inherent difference in power between me and this crow-thing disappeared in an instant. No longer was I a gnat for her to meddle with.

In an instant, I was suffused with righteous might. A titan staring down an ant. Feeling as unassailable as the stars. Treacherous as the void between them. Vast as the universe.

System notifications flew by at blinding speed. Beeping so loudly as to mimic tinnitus. I ignored them all. They were not important. Nothing was more pressing than this.

“KNEEL!” I commanded.

The bird complied without protest. Prostrating with gusto.

My heart was hammering against my chest, threating to burst. My ears were ringing. My eyes were burning.

The bird seemed to realize something, dread dawning on it as it began to struggle against my grip.

“I SAID. KNEEL!”

My authority pressed down on her with the weight of a continent. Her own psionic repertoire withering like autumn leaves. A part of my bubble had dissolved and spread throughout my fog, choking any resistance away from her spirit. It manifested as a visible halo, radiating half-silver half-violet incandescence. My eyes burned, tiny sparks lacerating outwards and crawling all along my body.

I hardly noticed. Too focused on the enormity of her deception.

“YOU WILL NOT LIE TO ME! CONFESS! TELL ME THE TRUTH!”

Those tendrils coiled around her now. Crawling like maggots on a corpse. They strained against reality, bending and twisting until they assumed sleek, needle-like forms. That done, they wormed their way inside her eyes. Burrowing deeper and deeper. Grabbing hold like some grisly fishhook.

The lines grew taught. Forcing her psyche to dance like a puppet on bloody strings.

Her mouth opened in a manner similar to that of dolls or marionettes. Moving in response to wishes that were not her own. Clouded as her being was, she still had enough awareness left to fully appreciate the insurmountable horror of the situation.

“You likely have prior experience with…”

“NO!”

The denouncement beat her further into submission, shaking every bone inside her frame. Blood trickled from behind her eyes, pooling on the floor.

“TELL ME YOU ARE WRONG!”

Her beak opened again and her claws went to it, trying to force it shut. Almost as afraid of the system’s retaliation as she was of me. Just as her feeble protests died, a blinding flash of light brought an all too familiar sight.

System Notice:

Store representatives are protected within the Tutorial.

Attacking a store representative will result in punitive measures.

The edges of reality fell away. More raw power was being pumped into the surroundings, easing the pressure for the briefest of instants.

All it took was the sharpening of my focus for the artifice to sputter.

“I COMMAND YOU! BEGONE!”

Sy#t%m No*%ce:

Store r+=^% are pro#%ted within #@Tutorial.

Attacking a %#1*^

The screen vanished as did her respite.

I would have my answer. One way or another.

I swallowed a gulp of air and leered down at the vile deceiver.

“You will tell me everything I want to know. Why did you lie? How did you know about the crabs? Did you peek at my memories? Did you alter them?”

“I cannot lie to you sir. Please. Let me go. Please. Please. Please.”

My current surroundings faded, the fairy-tale house disintegrating into motes of colourful sparks. From the empty space swelled the crabs and the bloodied floor and my neighbours staring into me.

Plumes of white-hot rage erupted once more at that.

“YOU! HAVE THE AUDACITY! TO SAY THOSE WORDS TO ME!”

My castigation fell on empty air. A resounding explosion of light pushed me backwards. Redoubling its efforts taking the foul creature before I could react.