Chapter 2

When Minami opened her eyes once more, she found herself in a very different place. She went away from the therapy office, with its painting of daffodils and oaken bookshelf of psychology textbooks melting away from the scenery. It was like fade on television, where the next picture emerges from underneath the first image. It all seemed very real, but then again, didn’t dreams seem real when you went into an REM trance? That was just what Minami was experiencing right now. It’s not like she was being transported into a completely different world where you met your psychological constructs. The whole notion was just ridiculous in itself.

Yet the world that Minami dived into reminded her of the surrealistic painting of daffodils that hung in Kaede’s office. In fact, she could see giant daffodils sprouting out of nowhere, enlarging into an impossible size, towering over her. The background reminded her of abstract paintings, cubist drawings, Russian avant-garde, abstract expressionism. What immediately popped into Minami’s mind was the likes of the painting Symphony No. 1, The Transcendental by Richard Pousette-Dart, or Fugue in Two Colors by Frantisek Kupka. The background was constantly changing, morphing and fading into some other fantastic abstract impressionistic blend of color and shadow.

“Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,” the daffodils said in a trilling, singsong voice. “I killed your baby Mary Worth.”

As soon as the daffodils finished chanting that ridiculous child’s game, the background suddenly turned into Edvard Munch’s famous painting, The Scream. She could see the setting sun and the blood red cast in the sky, the color shrieking with a frequency on par to violin trillato, ringing inside Minami’s head into a maddening delirium. The blend of oil, tempera, and pastel melted away and faded, bleeding into a homogenous blob of color. Minami instinctively closed her eyes, trying to will the images away. This was a very intense experience that was probably not unlike the hallucinations experienced by heavy drug users--not that Minami indulged in such activities, though she had to admit that the prank has gone on too far.

Maybe Kaede and that woman drugged her. Maybe this was the first step of the brainwashing process. Minami winked one eye open and stared at the daffodils, which were dancing and wriggling their stems, continually chanting, “Bloody Mary” over and over again. Minami tried to block out all the noise, but to no avail. Minami suddenly felt a hand touch her shoulder, and she turned around to face Kaede.

“It’s overwhelming, at first,” Kaede said with an apologetic smile. “Though this is what the heart of your subconscious looks like, Minami-san. I’ve never met a mental landscape as vivid as this one.”

“No way,” Minami said while shaking her head fiercely. “I never have dreams this vivid. Besides, if this is really a mental landscape and not just a dream or the influence of drugs, why would I think of something as nonsensical as this? Besides, I hate abstract art.”

“That is a shame,” Kaede said while she clasped her hands together and watched the changing background, which was now reminiscent of Salvador Dali’s paintings. “I do enjoy a wonderful painting. This mental landscape is so…fascinating.”

“Can we get this done and over with?” Minami asked. “The background is starting to make me nauseous. Anyway…so, okay, let’s assume that my subconscious really does like abstract art of whatever…what does it mean? I hated being dragged into abstract art museums when I was little.”

Kaede put a finger to her lip, before she said, “Perhaps you’re repressing the creative side of yourself, Minami-san, the side that imagines and dreams and plays. You’re a very logical and left-brained kind of person, at least on a conscious level, though in your subconscious, there are rich possibilities of imagination awaiting you. Perhaps this denial of your creative side also influences your belief in the paranormal.”

Minami turned around before she crossed her arms across her chest. She didn’t want to admit that what Kaede said made sense, but…no, she will never admit that. She hated it when other people besides herself was right. But even then, she couldn’t deny that Kaede was observant and very good at what she does. Minami knew that in Freudian psychology, the subconscious played a dominant role in various things. Just what kinds of things were in store for her in her subconscious?

She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to proceed further or not. Minami didn’t want to confront her subconscious, she didn’t want to prove that woman right. As before, Minami started to seriously regret that she came to PsiCo in the first place. The background matched her mood, now somber blacks, grays and blues, a melancholy type of feeling settling over her.

Minami then felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and saw that Kaede was smiling back at her gently. “It’s okay to be afraid. The subconscious can be a strange place. However, I will be by your side, and I won’t let any harm come to you.”

“I-I’m not afraid or anything,” Minami said, straightening her shoulders and standing up tall. “Let’s go. I’m getting sick of staring at the background.”

Minami then marched straight ahead, not bothering to look back. She was sure that Kaede followed right behind her, however. Minami’s back was very rigid, and she tried to give the impression of confidence, though inside, Minami felt her stomach twisting itself into several knots. What if she came out a completely different person from this experience? Sure, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, because Minami understood that she was rather opinionated and could get on other people’s nerves. Some part of her remembered that when she took on art projects or creative writing endeavors, her teachers always said that her writing and art lacked something. They wouldn’t specifically state what it was, though as Minami traveled further through her mental landscape, she began to realize what it was: imagination.

Minami never considered the imagination that important. People who were stuck daydreaming and thinking of outrageous ideas usually had no direction in life; they were simply dreamers, nothing more. Minami believed in logic, reasoning, and action; she couldn’t waste her time with frivolities. Creative writing was just silly; writing essays and technical reports were more fulfilling than something that never even happened in the first place. To her, writing fiction was a bunch of lies and it was there not worth any merit. Likewise, art was something nice to look at, but really, what practicality did it have in real life? There were far better skills out there than drawing.

Right before her, however, was a rich, fertile imagination that exploded with color and music and synesthetic sensations. Minami never would have thought that she was capable of something like this, not in a million years. Something loomed on overhead, and what Minami saw before her was a Victorian style house that looked abandoned. Ivy crawled over its face, and the fountain that stood in the front no longer spilled water into the basin cup, which was choked with dead leaves.

“What is this place?” Minami found herself wondering aloud. “This place looks really creepy.”

“You have created this psychological construct in your mind,” Kaede said kindly, clasping her hands together. “It is a rather interesting house, though, isn’t it? It kind of reminds me of the house from the Fall of House of Usher, doesn’t it?”

“I suppose so,” Minami said with a shrug, though she never particularly cared about reading Edgar Allan Poe. She never thought much about horror stories--there were things that were far scarier in real life, so she never found herself having sleepless nights over imaginative fancies in such stories. “I guess we have no other choice but to explore inside, then. I’m assuming that this is an important part of…my subconscious.”

Kaede nodded encouragingly, before Kaede turned around and straightened her shoulders, staring at the house before her. She remembered reading the Fall of the House of Usher before, and she could remember the description about the house in the story--the bleak walls, the eye-like windows, and the somber landscape surrounding the place. Just like the narrator who made his way towards the House of Usher, Minami felt this impending sense of gloom that dampened her spirits. It chilled her arteries and sent ripples down her spine--she could almost imagine that the house was staring at her, looking deep into the vulnerable parts of her soul--

No, no, she would not be lulled into delusion. The house wasn’t alive--she wouldn’t succumb to fear which played mind tricks on even the most rational-minded person. It was simply a house and nothing more. Why she imagined a place as dreary as this, however, she couldn’t possibly imagine.

Wow, it looks just like a haunted house! Hotaru’s voice said inside her mind. It’s huge! I bet there are all kinds of things hidden inside that house--hey, maybe we can even hunt for ghosts in there! It looks like a place with a lot of history behind it; I bet there are interesting kinds of ghosts that still live inside it.

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Minami shook her head again. It would be just like Hotaru to squeal in excitement over such a decrepit looking house. Hotaru was always on the lookout for haunted sites, like abandoned school buildings or ancient houses, cemeteries and battle zones. She absolutely loved this kind of stuff, and this gloomy mansion would have been the perfect playground for a paranormal fanatic like Hotaru. Even if Hotaru was a little crazy about anything involving the supernatural, Minami still felt a soft spot towards the girl.

She may be a little gullible and naïve and willing to believe anything that anybody said, even if there were contradictory stories from two different people, Hotaru would still believe in them. Yet Hotaru was one of the kindest people that Minami knew, and Minami sometimes wished that she were more like Hotaru. Willing to believe in magic, in miracles. Wouldn’t it be nice if reality weren’t so harsh and stark. Though, Minami supposed that she needed someone like Hotaru, just like Hotaru needed someone who could rationalize and explain contradictions. People of unsavory reputation would surely try to manipulate Hotaru for their own purposes--and when Minami first heard about PsiCo and Hotaru’s avid interest in it, there was another reason why Minami investigated the facility. She wanted to make sure that these people wouldn’t trick and fool poor Hotaru like a fake psychic had a few months ago.

She took a step towards the front door of the abandoned mansion, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves. That sense of uneasiness never left her, coiling deep in her stomach. Kaede also stood by her side, and this managed to give Minami the courage to open the doors and peer inside. A hallway led into a grand hall with furniture with drapes covered over them. The house was in such a desolate state that cobwebs festooned every corner and ceiling. The chandelier above tinkled a little when they first entered inside the house, shivering showers of dust down upon them.

“This house looks…so lonely,” Minami said, not realizing that the words have escaped from her mouth. “I mean, it’s like nobody lived here for a very long time. It’s like the house itself is centuries old.”

“You made this house inside your mind,” Kaede explained, clasping her hands in front of her. “A house can symbolize many things. It’s a place of security and comfort, your home. It is the rock of support, a kind of anchor inside your mind. These anchors can take form of various structures, such as this mansion. I one time encountered a young man whose anchor took on the form of a laboratory. It was an interesting experience, I’ll have to say that.”

Minami didn’t say anything, simply went further into the recesses of the house. She went towards a mirror that was fogged over and a fine layer of dust coated the cabinet that supported it. Minami swiped a finger across the oak surface, before wiped it off disgustedly. Even if this was a figment of her imagination or whatever, Minami still felt the urge to clean the entire place. It was such in a filthy disarray. How could she have let something like this happen in her own imagination?

Suddenly, Minami saw something flicker in the mirror out of the corner of her eye. Minami focused on the mirror, before she shook herself, trying to convince herself that she was only reacting out of nerves. Something about the entire house gave her a foreboding chill that rippled down her spine. Minami stared intently at the mirror again, before she saw a spectral face stare back at her. Minami stumbled backwards, landing on the seat of her skirt as the ghost launched itself out of the mirror. She could now hear ghostly laughter and whispers surrounding her as more specters escaped from the mirror, whirling all around her like a maelstrom of ectoplasm.

Minami tried to cover her ears with her hands as the ghosts whirled above her, though their voices seemed to reach deep down into the core of her mind, into the reptilian part of the brain where savage things festered and grew.

I’m so scared, one ghost said, before it spiraled down and entered through Minami’s mouth. Minami felt a cold shiver freeze all her arteries. I hate this, I want to go home! Please, don’t leave me alone!

Another ghost swooped down and entered through Minami’s mouth, causing another uncontrollable shiver to violently spasm her body. I’ve been abandoned, no one is coming to save me.

While the ghosts swirled around her and chilled her insides, Minami then realized that these ghosts were voicing her thoughts, thoughts that she thought that she kept well-concealed, even from herself. Now that the ghosts have appeared from the mirror and started assaulting her, the truth was staring at Minami in the face. She was afraid of the paranormal. She never wanted to admit this to anybody else, not even to herself. She remembered, a long time ago, when she was seven years old, that…

Minami only clenched her hands tighter against her head and let out a shrill scream that echoed through the hallways and bounced off the walls and ceilings like a curse. The ghosts kept on whispering hated thoughts into her ears, letting out silvery chuckles as they circled around her like vultures. Minami then hugged her arms around herself, before she said in a low whimper. “Leave me alone…I’m not the scared little girl that I was anymore…go away…”

The ghosts continued to torment her, and Minami swore that she was going into a degenerative spiral of insanity until Kaede finally stepped in, approaching Minami and the swirling ghosts.

“Minami-san,” Kaede said as she clasped her hands together in front of her. “People are made up of their own thoughts. There’s a little voice recorder that keeps on playing in our minds, deep-rooted into our subconscious. These ghosts are the voices of your subconscious. The only way you can release them is to confront them and let them go so you can be free.”

Minami shook her head furiously, tears starting to course down her cheeks. “I…I can’t! I’m so weak and pathetic…are you happy now, that you see me like this? To see me like this…scared little girl who freaks out at her own shadow?”

Kaede smiled gently towards Minami, stepping into the ring of ghosts that whirled around her and entered inside the miniature tornado. “I understand why you try so hard to appear strong, Minami-san. You’re afraid of showing your true self, the self that is filled with doubt and uncertainty, the self that is scared of the paranormal. There’s nothing to be afraid of, Minami. The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.”

Minami hiccupped a little, before she wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. She looked Kaede straight in the eye, before a small smile appeared on her lips. “If we get back from this…promise to keep this a secret from everyone else?”

Kaede nodded. “I will.”

Minami took a deep breath, before she straightened and stared at the ghosts whirling about her. She was still scared, she still felt the uncertainty that plagued her whenever she delved deep into the heart of her mind, but she was going to confront this, right here, right now. This was her own mind, damn it, and she wasn’t going to be influenced by this psychological constructs, even if they were her own making. If she made these constructs herself, then she could also destroy them as well.

“Hey you!” she said at the top of her lungs. “I’m not gonna let you guys take control over me! So get out! I banish you from this place!”

The ghosts still whirled about, though their movements seemed slower. This gave Minami encouragement. She must not let her will waver here, not when she was making progress and confronting the root of her problem once and for all. She will definitely, absolutely never, give up a fight and lose! “That’s right, you stupid ghosts, you’re nothing more than a figment of my imagination. I created you in my mind, so I can easily destroy you, too.”

The ghosts seemed to shimmer and then distort, flickering in and out of sight. Minami smirked at this sight. She was winning this fight…and she was determined to finish it! “I admit it…I was scared once. But now, I realize that there is nothing to fear except fear itself. So go away! I won’t be held back by you anymore!”

The ghosts faded from sight completely, and the background all around Minami started to fade again. As Minami regained consciousness once more, she realized that she was back in the familiar space of Kaede’s office. The picture of the daffodils still hung on the wall (and thank whatever entity that was out there that they weren’t chanting Bloody Mary) and the bookshelf with Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung managed to ground Minami into reality.

She found that, much to her displeasure, she still couldn’t move. She still had the tag slapped on her forehead. Yukiko must have sensed Minami’s glare, as she then peeled off the tag from Minami’s head with a mischievous smile. “Well, well, I’m certain that you had a very interesting experience. Still in denial about the paranormal, Miss Minami?”

Minami stood up from her reclined position, stretching her limbs and cracking out the kinks in her neck, shoulders, and back. It felt good to move again, especially after lying still for so long against her will. Speaking of which...Kaede seemed to be very drained, though there was a soft smile on her lips as she gazed at Minami.

“Oh, Yukiko-san…if you wouldn’t mind…I should like a cup of tea, I think,” Kaede said to the dark-haired woman. “Ginger peach, please.”

“You haven’t told me any of the juicy details about your therapy session,” Yukiko said, glancing at her nails while she did so. “Please enlighten me about the experience, Kaede-chan~”

Kaede looked towards Minami, before she turned towards Yukiko with a smile. “That’s a secret~”

“You’re so mean,” Yukiko said with a fake pout, though she good-naturedly poured Kaede a fragrant brew of tea. She then turned to Minami and said, “So, do you think that you’ll be a little more open-minded when it comes to this facility and its residents?”

Minami crossed her arms and turned away, though there was a small smile on her lips. “If you predict a future where I’m super rich and have a handsome guy for a boyfriend, maybe I’ll consider your validity as a fortune-teller.”

“Oh come on, dear, that’s just unrealistic expectations~ I’m not a genie that makes wishes come true, you know.”

“Hmph!” Minami said. “Who says that I won’t be a millionaire or something like that? I can work hard, I have the smarts to get a good-paying job. And are you implying that no one will find me good enough for them?”

Kaede simply smiled as she watched Minami and Yukiko bicker with one another, before she took a sip of her orange peach tea. Sighing with satisfaction, she then set her cup down on a saucer and concluded the therapy session in her notes.

Minami Tachibana

Potential PsiCo recruit.