“Think you’ll win this one?”

  “You’re a dick, Faust,” the man replies between breaths. What’s his name again? I swear it’s at the tip of my tongue.

  “You never do win, do you?” I chide.

  “No, I don’t. Nobody does. Except you. Is that what you want to hear? Is that why you’ve been hounding me for the past fifty miles? Just win the damn race and leave me alone already.” It’s been fifty miles already? Halfway to another predictable victory across the mountain trails, my only real challenge.

  “Touchy, touchy, I just want to be friends! Well, it just so happens I am winning the race.” I pause to let a shit eating grin peel across my face. “By being one step ahead of you!”

  “Go fuck yourself, there’s a special place in hell for you.”

  “Hmm, well being in hell sounds a lot more interesting than being you, why, you used to be a king didn’t you?” Now I remember this guy! I’ve broken all his records, ha! “What happened?”

  “You happened. You’re a monster Faust, the devil’s son.”

  “Oh come on, don’t tell me you’re one of those people that thinks I sold my soul to the devil just to win a few races. Even you don’t look that stupid.”

  “Just a few races? You’ve ruined them all. You alone have destroyed everything that is noble in our sport, you tore out the heart of every aspiring runner, and you shit on the dreams of a generation. Every child that puts on a pair of trainers grows up in your shadow.”

  “That’s honestly the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.” I feign a tear. “Maybe I’ll let you take first in a race that counts, just one more time in your life.”

  The man glowers at me with beetling brows, fury pulsing beneath his skin. I can see his fingers clench, the poison of my presence causing him to tighten up. Each stride he takes while my venom courses through his veins is a stride taken inefficiently. I watch as his energy bleeds out step by step, all in my honor. It makes me smile.

  “Why do you do it?” I ask.

  “Do what?”

  “Run. You can’t win.”

  “I can try, damnit. You may have broken my records but you haven’t broken me. I never ran for attention, I’m no diva. I’m not you.”

  “Is that what you tell yourself? What kind of lunatic are you? Admit it, you’re beat, you’re old, and you’re no match for me. Nobody is. Every last one of you is weak.”

  “How dare you call me a lunatic? You’re a maniac. You actually steal candy from children, from children!”

  I laugh, I’d forgotten about that. I once saw this girl licking a lollipop just looking so defenseless and well… I couldn’t help myself. Next thing I knew I had that lollipop in my hand and my legs were pumping as fast as they could take me. Some do-gooders tried to catch me, but as you can imagine, they did not. I’m so devious.

  “Why do you think I am going to win, and you are not? You are a little girl, and this race is your lollipop. I will have that lollipop, because I am strong, and you are weak.”

  “You’re mental. I hope you die,” he huffs, “soon.”

  “Not before I break the will of this world my friend.”

  “You aren’t my friend, I have been praying that each breath you’ve taken for the past ten miles would be your last.”

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  “Just the past ten miles? Well clearly there is no god. Or, even better yet, if there is, he is my number one fan.”

  “Someday, you’re going to piss off someone you can’t outrun, and judgement will be upon you.” He points to the sky.

  “Ew, you sound like my mother.” We hit a hill, and I begin to speed up. I lock into my natural pace, much faster than my lackluster conversation partner could handle. I grew bored of him.

  “You’ve dug yourself a deep grave, Faust. On your judgement day me and countless others will be there to fill in the earth to cover up your darkness forever. The devil will collect on your sins.” He falls behind as the trail twists and turns separating us forever by the dark woods. Good riddance, I’ve had enough of his shit.

  Alone at last, the mountain and me. That could be the title of a book. Sounds pretty gay. I feel the wind brush cold sweat from my forehead as it runs through my hair. The miles pass, the natural rhythm of the land flows beneath me as the trail guides me through the majesty of nature. This is living. In tune with the race, I am now running for my life; my legs carry me at unnatural speeds through the mountain trails, unrivaled by the world of men. Sometimes I wonder how this power came to be, why it was given to me. There are a thousand men who would have been idolized for the power, but I’m not one of them. Life just isn’t fair, is it?

  The path ahead dips down into a wide but shallow creek. I drop into it, and my feet splash through the cold mountain stream. As I take each step through the fast flowing water I feel its chill between my toes, it’s invigorating. The trail continues up the far bank, and my feet make a wet schlop every time they strike the ground. After the short initial climb out of the cool mountain stream my footsteps form a cadence, schlop, schlop, schlop, schlop… I fall deeper into my trance.

  At first, I didn’t notice it; my soggy footsteps had drowned out the sounds of the natural world around me. But there it was, stalking ahead of me in the brush off the side of the trail. Is that a big cat? No, that’s a really, really big cat. I stop. That is a fucking cougar, a big and hungry looking god damned one at that. My heart races, and adrenaline pulses through my veins sharpening my mind. I think quickly and concisely: what are you supposed to when you meet a cougar?

  Play dead? Easy meat. Fight it? I’ve never won a fight in my life, let alone a fight with a sharp-toothed razor-clawed killing machine. Again, easy meat. Ah yes, I remember now, you’re supposed to look big and tough to scare it off. I inhale, preparing to give it a big scary scream, and- the cougar charges. My mind fogs over, my lungs let out a pitiful squeak, and before I could tell them not to, my legs are carrying me off at full speed.

  I dare not look back, I have to commit. I am really running for my life. My arms are pumping, adrenaline drives me far beyond my normal inhuman speeds. I think, for just one second, that maybe the fastest man in the world can outrun a cougar. That’s when it hits me, plowing me face first into the rocks and dirt of the trail. Hubris plunges into my neck through four piercing fangs.