Chapter 9.2:

I felt my spiritual shoulder being shaken gently again, repeating the experience from this morning. Groaning, I looked up to see Mary as she pulled me into her arms, into a spectral hug, lifting me up and out of my body. We didn't say anything for the first few moments as she flew through the inky vastness towards the solitary light of Valhalla in the distance.

After a while, she spoke softly, "I'm so sorry. Sorry, Miles."

We went over to the Courtyard, and she landed in the Snowbank.

"It's just a temporary setback," she said, switching to forced cheer. "You'll get better. And you did it once. I'm sure you can do it again."

I sagged in her arms and muttered, "Thank you," with my head pressed into her shoulder. And braced for the impact as I was let down gently into the cold snow. Well, there wasn't much I could do. I could get up and walk to the gates. From there, I could look in and watch the people shivering in the Courtyard as they feasted and drank.

That might help me try to stay awake through the entire night. But I knew from experience that it was impossible. I would only slowly freeze out in the even colder outside with no food to keep me warm. Or I could just lay here and look up at the stars.

Unfamiliar stars of motion, the green, blue, and even red stars, captured me with their mesmerizing patterns. As they all danced amongst the skies, a purple aurora flashed suddenly, snaking its way through the heavens in a beautiful exhibition of celestial grace. With my hand shoved into my pocket, I just watched it all as my vision slowly faded away.

***

When I finally came to, I was standing in a sandy pit, the familiar inky black of the challenge all around me. I– gods, I hated coming here. It was even worse when I didn't have a chance to train. The first week I spent here was awful, but after I had gotten into the Courtyard, it got better. But the Snowbank made it tempting to just give up. To lay in the snow like so many others around me did.

Starting the challenge in such a position made it so hard to get out. And I had already clawed my way up once, only to get kicked back here again. It would not happen again. Not again.

I could feel the cold seeping from my bones and back into my flesh. The shivering made it hard for me to even hold on to the shaft of the halberd next to me, and I couldn't feel my face. My teeth were chattering so hard that my vision blurred from the vibrations, and even the shape of the person across from me was difficult to make out.

Seeing that I wasn't nearly dead already, this was likely to be my chance. Pulling out the candy, I crunched it between my chattering teeth. I didn't want to use this boost here, but I was never going to risk going back to the snow again. There was a difference right away. I could feel myself warm up. The heat melted the ice in my joints, and my shivering stopped. My vision stabilized, and I felt my muscles swell.

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Swinging my arms around, they felt as if I had just gotten a solid warm-up in. I picked up the halberd from where my numb fingers had dropped it and spun it around. Trying a few of the more complicated moves I had been shown, I found they weren't impossible. They felt awkward and clumsy, but I was able to do it without having to compromise my stance in order to get the proper leverage.

Not wasting any more time, I charged at the opponent. The man had as little skills as I did, but he stood his ground. Knocked away my halberd as I got in range. I just let it go and lowered my shoulder, now within his guard.

I crashed into him with no technique at all. Just pure, brutal strength born from rage and fear. There was no way that I would ever let myself go back into the cold again. I would move mountains and slaughter anyone who stood in my way, but I was never going back out to the cold again. Not one more time would I suffer such humiliation.

I roared as I bore the scrawny, blue-lipped opponent to the ground and smashed my fist right into his face. The blue of his nearly frostbit skin was covered up as the red of his blood splattered everywhere, spewing from the remains of his nose. My left fist then came down, cracking an orbital bone. Then my right and then the left... I let loose, just absolutely pounding him in the face until my knuckles ached and burned.

The scene slowly faded around me, and I rolled off to the side as the transition occurred, retching. Looking at my hands supporting my weight, I couldn't stop staring at the sight of my bloody knuckles. When did I get this strong? I wondered idly before my mind shifted to darker topics.

I'd killed countless times at this point. Oh, not countless, but close. But it had always been with a weapon, dispassionate or strangulation. Only when I knew they would come back to life moments later. I'd also been killed in many gruesome ways, too.

But this was something else. Something sickening. I couldn't believe it. That I'd done this. I did my best to wipe my hands clean in the sand and hold back the bile in my throat. It wasn't going to stop me, and I didn't regret it, but damn, did I not want to have to do this. Spitting into the sand, I pushed my emotions to the side. I would deal with them later if I absolutely needed to.

As I appeared in the new arena, I pushed myself to my feet with the halberd lying on the sand next to me. My new opponent was someone I didn't recognize, as most were, but I could tell by his stance he had a lot more experience than my previous opponent did. Lowering my halberd, I charged, and he met it.

I did my best to slip aside as our weapons impacted. The head of mine dug deep into his chest, crushing his rib cage. But my evasion only worked marginally. I felt a deep slash cut inches into my obliques, and I could only imagine my intestines spilling out on the sand. As I stumbled to my knees, panting, I looked back at where we had crossed paths and found the man already dead, a bloody froth on their lips.

I did my best to push myself back up to my feet, but when I got onto one knee, I fell over sideways. The new arena appeared, but before I saw my next opponent, Mary lifted me up again.

Her smile was much warmer than the gentle professionalism I normally got. As if she really cared for me beyond her graceful nature. "I knew you could do it, honey. I knew you could do it. Two kills. You're back in the haul. And I'm sure eventually, in no time at all, you'll be moving on!"