---
{Place}: Dungeon's Second Room
---
Vincent: “Alright, we returned to the bear room. Erika and Camelia, where do you think we should go?”
Camelia: “Uhm, the right direction?”
Erika: “No, it’s left. Let’s go left, Vincent.”
Vincent: “Left? But, there's just a wall there, no visible passageways or doors either.”
Erika: “There’s got to be a secret room here! I just know that!”
Camelia: “Oh, a secret room. It is that place where you can find mountains of treasures, right?”
Erika: “That’s right. If we just find a lot of treasures, we can just sell it all and make a profit that way, not just some small pocket change that the guild will give us for the quest. So Vincent, let’s go with the left!”
Vincent: “Erika, something like finding a secret door, room, or treasures is not an easy matter. But, fine let’s search the left wall for now.”
[Description]: ’Guh, my head is spinning, did I drink too much last night? Whatever their secret room search failed of course.’
[Explenation]: 'Oh, you are back! I missed you.'
[Description]: ’Can you like, shut your trap? My head his spinning.'
Vincent: “There’s nothing here, Camelia, Erika, how about you?”
Camelia: “I didn’t find anything either, I’m sorry master Erika. Maybe next time.~”
Erika: “Tch, how boring. Fine, let’s just go straight then.”
Vincent: “Okay, let me go first.”
Camelia: “Why we are not choosing the right direction, master Erika?”
Erika: ”Oh, that. That is because it is a direction that you choose, you dumb fox. If we go the way you choose, then certainly something bad, dangerous or disgusting will happen to us.”
Camelia: “How mean! Please, be more gentle to me.”
Erika: “Hmph. It will teach you not to talk back to me, your master.”
---
{Place}: Dungeon's Third Room
---
[Description]: 'Blah, cough, cough, man I feel so sick.’
[Description]: 'Maybe I should take some break today too?’
[Explanation]: 'Oh, Is it my time again?’
[Description]: 'Or maybe not. Get the fuck out, your screechy voice is killing my head, you idiot!'
[Explanation]: 'Yes,...Sniff sniff.'
[Description]: 'Anyway, a monster ambush or whatever.’
Vincent: “It’s the ambush, watch out!"
Erika: ”Uwah, it’s a zombie. Magic Missile! So scary and disgusting, waah.”
[Description]: ‘Actually hitting the mark for once. Hmm, not bad, I guess.’
Random Zombie A: ”Ugh, it hurts. Please, don’t hurt me! I’m sorry for surprising you.”
Erika: “Eeh!?”
Vincent: “Erika, get behind me!”
Camelia: “What? The zombie talks! How surreal.”
Random Zombie A: ”Yes, that’s right. I will explain everything, but please calm down first, all of you. I’m not going to harm you in any way, despite how I look. So please don't hurt me.”
Erika: “Vincent~. Let’s just kill that thing, okay? It is scaring me.”
Random Zombie A: ”No, no, I’m not scary at all. I might look like that, but I’m a gentle person, it’s a zombie now I guess, but I’m still gentle and harmless!”
Camelia: “What a strange zombie, don’t you think so master Erika?”
Erika: “Kyaah, don’t talk to me, you monster zombie! Magic Missile!”
[Description]: ’Hmm, she is quite good today, how surprising.’
Random Zombie A: ”Ugh, my hand. I lost my hand. Please, calm down miss.”
Vincent: “Erika, calm down. Let’s just listen to him for now.”
Erika: “But,...”
Vincent: “If he tries anything funny, I will slash him with my blade, so don’t worry.”
Camelia: “Yes, master Erika. I’m kind of interested in that strange zombie too. How can one become so talkative? Maybe we can even become friends.~”
Erika: “F...fine, but you need to protect me, Vincent. If this thing tries anything, I will smash it with my magic missile barrage with no time. You hear that, you zombie!?”
Random Zombie A: "I'm not sure what will happen next, but I'm thankful that you decided to listen to my story."
Erika: "Grr, hurry up with your sob story, I don't want to stay too long in this place. There are probably more of those things around here."
Random Zombie A: “Yes, thank you very much. Not everyone is so understanding as you guys. Let me introduce myself first. I’m Raizin Kordana di Wolfang. Just like you now, I was once an adventurer.”
Camelia: “Eh, for real?”
Random Zombie A: “It’s the truth. How long ago was that again? Somehow I don’t remember that well, but there is one thing I will never forget, no matter what. Those two-faced adventurers and dungeon-delvers guild workers! They send us all adventurers to delve into this dangerous dungeon, promising great things, a good working environment, special privileges, prestige, and insurance if something happens to us, yet… after we die in the dungeon they just completely ignore us, washing their hands from the matter. Isn't it frustrating?! Those treacherous bastards. We will never forgive them. So I and my friends founded our labor union. Even if we are dead, we can still fight for our rights!”
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
Vincent: “Labor union? What’s this all about?”
Random Zombie A: “It’s great that you ask! We want to fight unforgivable acts of discrimination of us former adventurers and dungeon-delvers and now zombies, skeletons, and other undead. Also, we want proper reimbursements for our work and unfortunate deaths in the guilds name. What’s more, we want to get in touch with the city authorities to let us live within the city again as proper citizens!”
Erika: “Somehow, it sounds suspicious and creepy.”
Random Zombie A: “Please everyone, look at those leaflets. I wrote the basics of our program and methods of achieving our goals there. Everyone, let’s fight together, let’s show those treacherous guild workers that they can’t just use us adventurers as they see fit and throw us away like some pieces of trash when we are not needed! Let’s all fight for our futures!”
Camelia: “Society for the Promotion of Former Adventurers Now Undead Welfare, in short SPFANUW? What’s with this weird name?”
Random Zombie A: ”It’s an amazing name, right? I was thinking it up for the whole month.”
Vincent: "Did you need a month for the naming process?"
Random Zombie A: "Hey, I was also coming up with a business plan and a whole chant."
Erika: “It sounds suspicious after all.”
Vincent: “I’m not sure what you want from us, but we can at least talk with the guild about your matter. Would that be right?”
Random Zombie A: ”Well fine, it’s still better than expected, but let me tell you. Don’t trust those two-faced bastards from the guild. They might hide behind their gentle smiles, but they will throw you away on the first occasion.”
Vincent: ”We will remember that, thank you mister Wolfang.”
Erika: “Whatever, if you don’t want to fight then just give us your weapon and get lost. Your mere presence gives me the creeps.”
Random Zombie A: “Hmm, a weapon? What weapon, I don’t have any weapons. I’m going to fight with words!”
Erika: ”What? Then why did I even listen to your preachings for? Just wasting my time and creeping me out like that. Prepare yourself! Magic Missile! Magic Missile! Magic Missile!”
[Description]: 'Erika releases three magic missiles at the Zombie. Shit, my head still hurt. I'm never drinking with those guys from the external affairs again. They gonna kill my 'liver'.'
Random Zombie A: “Uwah! My other hand! I’m sorry, please don’t kill me! No, my leg! This beautiful leg of mine! I lost it too!”
-
Erika: “Tch, I missed the last missile and he escaped. How annoying.”
Vincent: “Yeah, it was certainly a strange case. Anyway, let’s explore the room.”
Camelia: “Oh, leave it to me. Leave it to me. I will find some amazing weapon, so look forward to it, master Erika~”
Erika: “Well, I don’t expect much from you.”
Camelia: “How mean.”
Vincent: “There’s some rubbish here, let’s search it Camelia, Erika.”
Camelia: “Okay, hmm~ hmm hmm~, hmm~ hmm hmm~, Master Erika, I found a skeleton in the cupboard.”
Erika: “What, another undead?! Tch, those things will never learn, Magic ...mumble mumble.”
Vincent: “Erika stop. It’s not undead. It’s just unanimated bones, no point in wasting your magic.”
Erika: “Fine.”
Camelia: “Hmm, there’s not much on that skeleton person. Did others already loot everything from it or the person itself was really poor when it was still living? Oh, I see something is shining.~”
Erika: “What is it? Something expensive? A weapon or better, some jewelry?”
Camelia: “Hmm. Let’s see. It’s…"
[Description]: ‘Blah, cough, cough, the mere sight of this thing makes me puke. Man, I seriously should stop with drinking so much next time.’
Camelia: “It’s a bottle? Master Erika, mister Vincent look, there’s some liquid inside.”
Erika: “How useless and you even gave me some expectations for once.”
Vincent: “Now, now, let me see Camelia. I see it’s a special alcoholic brew that increases your intelligence for a while after you drink it. Let’s take it. I don’t think we should use it, as it has some side effects and also makes you a bit drunk, but it is expensive and in an emergency might prove useful.”
Erika: “Oh, that’s good then. Hmph. Maybe you are not that useless after all, Camelia. But just a bit though.”
Camelia: “Somehow, even though you are praising me, master Erika, it sounds like you are being mean to me again.”
Erika: “What are you talking about, Camelia. I’m generously surprised. I never expected anything good from you in the first place, so it’s a pleasant surprise.”
Camelia: “How mean, master Erika…”
Vincent: “Anyway, let’s go to another room.”
---
{Place}: Dungeon's Fourth Room:
---
[Description]: ‘...’
Vincent: “There are monsters ahead, prepare yourselves.”
Camelia: ”...Okay.”
Erika: “Hmph.”
Giant Rats: ”Squeak squeak.”
Camelia: “They are Giant Rats, please watch out Master Erika!”
Erika: “Somehow, aren’t they cute too? What’s with this dungeon monsters, how misleading. Even though there was also that creepy zombie and that pervert stalker.”
Vincent: “You stupid rats, fight me!”
[Description]: ‘Oh, the intimidation succeeded for once. Isn't’ it the first time?’
Camelia: “It’s working, mister Vincent!”
Erika: “Hmph, it should be just normal, for a person that is dungeon-delving with me.”
Vincent: “And now the finisher! Eat my blade!”
[Description]: ‘It gets the jobs done, I guess.’
Giant Rats: ”Squeak squeak.”
Vincent: “Alright, they are dead. Let’s search them, Camelia, Erika.”
Camelia: “Yes!”
Erika: “I… I will leave it to you two. Somehow I feel my finger is hurting me a bit today, I don’t want it to get worse.”
Camelia: “Your finger again? In your Magic Academy days, there were times when you couldn't even get up from bed, that’s how bad it was. Maybe we should go back, master Erika?”
Vincent: “Erika?”
Erika: “I...I will manage somehow, don’t worry. Soon, I will be an awesome and all-known adventurer, so I have to be able to endure some finger pain. Don’t look down on my determination!”
Vincent: “I see, then are you able to help with the dismantling and search of the monsters?”
Erika: “Ouch, ouch, it hurts again! And a bit more too. I...I will manage, but any dead monster dismantling is impossible. I’m sorry you two.”
Camelia: “Don’t mind it, master Erika.”
Vincent: “...”
Erika: “W...what?”
Vincent: “It’s nothing. For now, just look for any monster signs. They might ambush us again.”
Erika: “Hmph! Don’t worry, no monster will escape my incredible senses.”
-
[Description]: ‘A claw’
Vincent: “Just their claw, huh. At least we can sell it. Let’s explore the room now.”
Erika: “But still, doesn’t this room reminds you of some old library or something? There are all those empty shelves. Hmm? Isn’t that a magic grimoire? I wonder what spells are there. Let me see…”
Erika: “It’s Almighty and Skilful. I see, let me try it.”
Camelia: “...What are you doing master Erika? Hey, isn’t this a spellbook? No, please stop before…!”
Erika: “Almighty!”
-Boom!-
[Description]: ‘Quite the explosion.’
Erika: “Cough, cough. Why? Just why did it fail? I did everything the book said.”
Camelia: “Master Erika, did you forget, that whenever you cast some magic it always fails. The only exceptions are Magic Missile and for some reason Mouth Sealing. Well, there’s also one more spell, but I would rather not talk about it.”
Vincent: “Are you alright Erika? The explosion was quite loud. Did you hurt yourself?”
Erika: “I’m fine. But that book is broken somehow, I’m sure of that! I doubt we can get much goldens for such a failure magic grimoire.”
Camelia: “No, as I said…”
Erika: “Shut up, Camelia. No one is listening to your rubbish.”
Camelia: “...Yes, master Erika.”
Vincent: “Then, let’s go, everyone. The explosions might have alarmed some other monster's attention.”
Erika: “Fine.”
Camelia: “...Okay.”
---
{Place}: Dungeon's Fifth Room:
---
[Description]: ‘It’s an ambush!... just joking, did you fall for it?’
Vincent: “It looks like there are no monsters here.”
Camelia: “...That is good, mister Vincent. Monsters are scary after all. Especially those cute ones. They always try to charm my master, Erika.”
Erika: “Hmph. As if I would get scared of some weaklings. Don’t make me laugh, Camelia.”
Camelia: “...Yes, I’m sorry.”
Vincent: “Anyway let’s search the room and choose some other route. It’s a dead-end after all.”
Erika: ”A dead end? W...why so ominous, no one is dying.”
Camelia: "Ha ha ha, you are so silly master, of course, no one is dying. I just meant that we are not getting any further on this path…"
Erika: "…" *anger intensifies*
Camelia: "Master, I want to check just to be sure, but do you need to pee?"
Erika: "You stupid Critter! I decided I'm sealing your mouth today."
---
Sometime Later
---
Erika: “Oh, another magic grimoire. Did someone throw it here from the previous room? Let’s check it out…"
Erika: “Manipulate? What’s this. Is it like some telekinesis or something? And the other one is… A fireball! Vincent, it’s a fireball! It’s a jackpot, we found a fireball! Let me try it!”
Camelia: “Not again, master Erika…”
Erika: “Fireball!”
-Boom!-
Erika: “Cough, cough. Why just why? This time I certainly did what the book said. It’s got to be a fluke. The owner of those books had to be some idiot of a magician. How stupid. We should just throw it away, these jokes of a magic grimoire aren’t even worth a single golden. They are just a piece of trash, a burden. Let’s go Vincent, Camelia. I’m in a bad mood right now, because of that stupid joke of a magician. If I ever meet the guy who wrote them, I will make him regret!”