Terra still couldn’t believe her eyes as she stretched her hand outwards towards the blue sky. For so long she’d dreamed (well not really since she couldn’t sleep) of having weight and sensation, to be able to feel the wind against her skin and her lungs as they burned from exertion, that she had felt overwhelmed when she’d come to.
After running around for a bit in her body she’d come to the sudden realization that she was surrounded by strangers and she didn’t know where she was, so she did the only logical thing she could think of at the time and ran away. It had been dark when she’d escaped the building but now the sun had risen and brought the bright sky with it, lighting up the city below her as she rested on the rooftop of a structure. Terra signed in both relief and disappointment at the clouds that floated aimlessly well above her head.
“Why so sad?” A familiar voice asked from beside her. Terra whipped her head to her right and nearly burst out in tears.
“Where have you been!” Terra cried as she hugged the girl beside her.
“Wow, you seriously need more friends if you’re happy to see me.” Altar commented while she was crushed by Terra. “Got that out of your system?” Terra nodded as Altar pushed her away. “Good, because you’ve fallen behind in the whole scheme of things and need to be caught up.”
“What do you mean?” Terra’s eyes narrowed as she remembered the cryptic antics Altar was so keen on using. “You’re the one that’s been gone this whole time, I should be catching you up.”
“Really now?” Altar’s eyes widened in an exaggerated manner. “Alright, you have the floor. Catch me up on what you think is happening.”
Terra fell into a monologue that lasted half an hour explaining her journey from being in an Efficiency robot with Indo and Petri and how everything changed when Eimose barged into their lives. About how Greenhouse was an evil corporation hell-bent on some unknown purpose and how Indo and Petri died blowing up one of their facilities, and then Terra had to go hunting for a bag, where she ran into Eimose, and then how they’d ended up at the Piranha headquarters where they stowed away on a subaqua and tried to take it over.
“So what exactly do you think happened after that?” Altar urged when Terra stopped.
“I think I died and wound up in a new place.” Altar burst out laughing at Terra’s hypothesis. “I’m in a new body and the whole place is different! The sky isn’t red and all these buildings are different from what I saw before!” Terra shouted her defense.
“This is why you need me around.” Altar choked out after she wiped away the tears that had formed. “No more turning yourself into a robot, alright.”
“Not as if I could help it,” Terra mumbled as she crossed her arms and pouted. After a moment of silence, she added, “Why couldn’t I see you while I was a robot?”
“You have to have a brain to hallucinate; robots have processing units. You do remember I’m not real, right? Because I’m getting tired of saying it.”
Terra wanted to open her mouth and make a snide comment, but in reality, she was still glad she could see Altar again. Not because Altar had answers and could help her out when a situation got sticky, but because Altar had been with her since the very beginning. If she lost Altar Terra may very well have gone insane.
“So if I’m not dead, then where am I?” she finally asked.
“Do you remember the last world?” Terra nodded. “What was your wish?” Terra had to think for a moment as it felt like a lifetime ago she’d been in a different world altogether.
“To go home,” she replied. Altar’s eyebrows raised and her eyes urged Terra to make the conclusion herself. “Wait, this is my home?”
Terra looked around in disbelief. She looked up and saw the twin suns in the sky, recalling a memory that was practically a ghost now. The man with the blue eyes and the slopes of green pastures. The purple flowers she couldn’t remember the name of. The city in the distance and her daily routine. Could she really find answers here? Could she find her father here? Could she really return to where she belonged?
“I see that look on your face and no, I can’t tell you where to find that guy in your memory.” Altar butted in. “I can tell you that you are in the right place. Well, not in the right, right place, but you’re in the right world.”
“So how can I find him?” The word tumbled out of Terra’s mouth, excitement bubbling inside her.
“Won’t tell you. I haven’t been able to mess with you in a while, and I think you deserve to go the long way around.” Altar shrugged while saying this, striking a chord within Terra, rendering her speechless for a moment by Altar’s sheer indifference to her situation.
“Are you kidding me! This past year has been hell on earth and now you won’t tell me where he is!” Terra was so angry that anything else that fell out of her mouth was indecipherable, though her point got across.
“Why exactly do you want to find that man?” asked Altar. “Will it change your life? Are you going to tell him that your his daughter and everything will just fall in place? You don’t belong anywhere. You’re a curse and you bring death and misfortune to everyone you meet, or do you not remember Roger, or all those nameless people you killed in the war, or Indo and Petri? You’ve killed and will kill so many more and don’t even realize it.”
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Terra’s anger melted away and guilt sank in. But she wasn’t a curse. She was just Terra and she wanted to find somewhere she belonged. If she could, she would turn back time and go live with Roger and they would eat eggs and bacon every morning. Why did Altar hate her so much that she won’t even tell her where her dad was? She couldn’t shy away from the fact that she had killed people before, but Indo and Petri were killed by Greenhouse, not her. And Roger was killed by John, and she was fighting for the Resistance when she’d killed people in war; it wasn’t her fault.
“Look, you’re even coming up with excuses for yourself so you don’t have to face the consequences of your actions. Whatever.” Altar laid down on the tiled roof and put her hands under her head.
“What if I promise not to kill anyone, will you help me then?” Terra negotiated.
Altar immediately burst out laughing, but it sounded bitter to Terra’s ears.
“You make it sound as if you’re an ax murderer. The thing is that even if you do stop killing, whether for self-defense or war, anyone you involve in your shenanigans will end up dying somehow, and their death is on you even if you don’t pull the trigger yourself.” Altar gazed up at the clouds, lost in thought. “But you know what, that will prevent a few deaths in the future. When you do choose to break that promise, I hope that you’ve weighed all your options.”
“I won’t break that promise,” Terra stubbornly stated, squaring herself so Altar could see her conviction.
“Believe me, you’ll have to.” Altar’s sad voice hung in the air until the wind carried it away.
“No, I won’t!” Terra insisted, lifting her hand and extending her pinky finger.
“What are you doing?” asked Altar, amused.
“I don’t really know, but I saw a kid when I was in that daycare center do it and I think this is how you’re supposed to make promises. It’s a rule or something.”
“I’m not making a promise that I know you’re going to break.” Altar smacked away Terra’s hand and then stood up and stretched.
“Then how can I get you to help me find my father?” Terra screamed, fed up with Altar’s antics.
“You don’t. Find him yourself.”
Terra felt herself deflate and suddenly Altar was gone. She thought about looking around for her but Terra knew that Altar would only appear when she wanted to. Laying down she looked back up at the blue sky, mind straying away from Altar’s words. Terra was going to keep her promise, she was going to show Altar that she was wrong and that Terra deserved her help. With the conviction set in her heart, Terra stuck the conversation in the dark corners of her mind and allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of being in a body again.
Her hands were older than she remembered them to be and her height was completely different too, much taller than a twelve-year-old’s should be, but her original body had been obliterated in the facility that Indo and Petri had died in so there wasn’t much she could do on that front. It was odd to think that she was possessing someone else’s body, moving their arms, using their eyes, listening with their ears, and she wondered how the entire exchange happened. If she hadn’t had died, how did she get this body? She wondered if other people had to deal with the issues she was running into. Did everyone get a new body when they died?
“Terra!”
She bolted up and got in a fighting stance at the sudden calling of her name, her instincts calling out to the black crystal that she’d used when she was in her original body. The stranger that had been cradling her when she’d regained consciousness stood at the other end of the roof, an elated expression on their face despite the thin sheen of sweat coating their body.
“Who are you and what do you want with me,” Terra called out, arms up in case the person tried anything funny. Dejection made their face fall and their eyes swam with confusion.
“Terra, it’s me. Henarie. Remember?” They responded, taking a step forward.
“I don’t know anybody named Henarie.”
“But, I waited. I waited for you. You told me you’d come back for me so I waited and I searched and now you’re here.”
“I told you, I don’t know you!”
Henarie’s face fell and Terra could see her eyes moisten with tears. As if a switch had gone off, Henarie roared and sprinted at Terra.
“Who are you and what have you done with Terra!” Henarie grabbed her sword and swung it down towards Terra.
Not quite used to the body yet, Terra moved to dodge, but her foot slipped and she fell on her knee; all she could do was raise her arms to protect herself against the sharp blade.
When the strike never came, Terra cracked her eyes open (which she never realized she’d closed in the first place) and saw that black crystals had erupted from the impact point on her forearm where the sword had struck. Henarie backed away, face as pale as a ghost, and fell to her knees.
“It’s really you..so why…” Henarie broke down sobbing. “Why...don’t you remember me?”
Terra felt incredibly awkward in her position. She was still kneeling with a sword attached to her arm because the crystals had grown over the metal and know there was a grown woman bawling her eyes out in front of her. Exactly what was going on? Not knowing what to do, she cautiously approached the woman who’d attacked her and patted her on the back.
“Umm...Henarie?” Terra attempted, not really know what to say to calm the woman down. “I’m really sorry I don’t know you, but maybe I knew you from before I lost my memory?”
Henarie’s head turned up, her tear-stained face showing signs of hope.
“So I just have to make you remember me.” The woman summarized.
“Well, maybe not make me remember, but perhaps something to jog my memory?” Terra corrected, not liking the way the woman’s eyes lit up at the prospect of returning her memories.
The woman recovered almost instantly once the idea was planted in her head and she straightened herself up, wiped away the tears, and grabbed her sword which had fallen from Terra’s arm once the crystals retreated.
A wave of nausea hit Terra like a train and she doubled over. The world around her spun and she struggled to focus on her footing, stumbling when the sky appeared below her and colors swirled together. A high-pitched whine filled the air around her and she struggled to plant herself to the ground. She was certain Henarie was holding on to her to make sure she didn’t fall off the roof, but she wasn’t certain as a darkness seemed to lurk at the edges of her vision, threatening to overtake her senses. Terra felt a sudden pain at her side and she was lurched out of Henarie’s arms and thrown into open air.