I straddled the bench, facing the Great Mother, who was tapping her chin thoughtfully. I was nervous, being somewhat concerned about my body and what I was to learn here. I steadied myself as best as I could, and waited as patiently as possible.

“First, what you will do is conjure up that ‘useless’ sphere of energy.” She watched as I did as instructed. “Next, you will shape it into a large enough dome or sphere to completely envelop you.” I struggled to manipulate the sphere. It was being more stubborn than a mule who refused to move. “Patience, Ivor. The magic within you doesn’t respond to brute force. You can force it to move, but there is a better way. One that you have little experience with.”

I let the sphere be, and turned my attention to Her. “And what would that be?” I asked in cdonfusion.

“Surrender. Submit. Allow it to move. It’s part of you, after all. Just let yourself go, My child,” She said softly, gently stroking my cheek with a warm, soft hand.

“Surrender? Let myself go? I don’t think you quite understand what you’re asking of me, My Lady.” At Her raised eyebrow, I quickly explained, “All my life, I’ve had to hold myself in; hold myself back. I’ve had to keep from being emotional. I’ve had to carefully restrain my Anger, and I’ve lost control of that recently. I’m sure you saw what happened in the sewers of Gnok, and to the guards at Nogogard. I’ve had to literally pull my punches,” I said, looking down at my thick, callused hands and their attendant scars. “I’m even more powerful here, on Chaia, than I ever was on Earth, and I’m terrified of what I’m going to do to someone,” I said with a sigh. After a moment, I added softly, “What I’ve already done to some of them.” I looked up, tears in my eyes, “How can I possibly let go with all that on me, Mother?” Tears began to freely fall down my face, and my voice broke as I asked, “How?”

The Great Mother wrapped her arms around me compassionately and stroked my short hair. “Shh. Hush now, My love.” She gently rocked me from side to side.

I heard Freyr come over and sit behind me on the bench, and He placed His hand on my shoulder. “Son,” he said gently, “these acts don’t make you a bad man. Look at what you used your Anger for. You used it to help, to defend, and to safeguard the people that have become your family. You may have dispensed punishment while doing so, but it was deserved.” He sighed softly. “Remember: We are gods. Those of us in this room, and within this plane of existence, have far more power and strength than you realize. None, and I mean none, of us will think poorly of you for your tears, or your Anger. In fact, we can help you properly use your

Anger. To channel it. While you are here, and on every subsequent visit, we will instruct you on how to do just that.” He got off the bench, and knelt beside me, taking my hand in His.

“Give us your dull iron so that we may forge you anew. That we may turn you into bright, shining Dwarf-made steel. So that we can imbue you with the power and fortitude that you’ve always dreamt of and deserved,” He said, His eyes smoldering with determination.

The Great Mother hugged me close saying, “Freyr is right, child. You will be forged anew with our instruction. I can see that it will not be easy for you. Thankfully, you do not need to sleep in this realm.”

Freyr nodded and stood. “Work with Her Ladyship, Son. I will wait for you in my home,” He said, bowing slightly.

As Freyr left, The Great Mother picked me up, and carried me out of the hall, to a secluded spot under a massive yew tree. Setting me down, She said, “And here we shall begin your training. This will not be easy, and I will not be nice. You are here to learn a skill that will save not only your life, but the lives of your family. Do you understand me, child?”

Sniffling, I nodded. “Yes, Mother. I understand,” Looking up into Her crystal eyes, I said “I am here to learn, not to be coddled. I am allowed to fail, only as long as I continue to rise and try again.”

She smiled happily and said, “Precisely. This is another reason I chose you, out of eight billion other humans. You are Determined.”

She nodded and bade me take a seat at the root of the great tree. I sat down, conjuring my small sphere of magic.

She clapped her hands once and smiled, saying “And initiative. Excellent. Now, as I said before, you must learn to surrender to yourself, trusting that you will act in the positive way you have cultivated. We will start small. Do you recall the way you felt in the hall, when you started to cry?” I nodded. “You were surrendering then. To sorrow and guilt, but it was surrender all the same.”

“It felt so wrong to do that, though. Especially in front of Odin and Freyr. I felt worthless and weak.” I said, my concentration on the magic wavering, the orb beginning to waver.

She interrupteds with, “It was not worthless. Nor was it weak. It was simply human. And mechanical. Pressure built, and needed to be released. Different pressure types have different release valves. For your sorrow and guilt, tears are the release valve. For your Anger, it seems violence is your release valve.”

“Yeah, and that particular pressure seems to have no end when it starts to rise,” I said wryly.

“True. For you, it is particularly potent. Others can channel it elsewhere. We will begin by surrendering to something pleasant, however,” She said patiently, ignoring my interruption.

I cocked my head to the side, curious. “Okay. How will I do that?” I asked.

“I want you to remember the first time you lay with Elizabet. The first time you two made love.”

I sat for a moment and remembered the time in the stone tub some time after we arrived in Haruma. I smiled widely, and my body began reacting to the memory. “Yeah….that was nice,” I said dreamily.

“I can tell. Your body is clearly remembering that night,” She said with a smirk.

“Huh?” I looked down, seeing an erection sprout in my pants. “Oh shit, I’m sorry,” I said, embarrassed.

The Great Mother giggled softly, replying with, “Oh, no need. I’ve seen every type across all of the species of Chaia. I am not embarrassed by it, nor should you be. Not here, not now. Not with me, child.” She cleared Her throat, and continued, “You surrendered to your lust just now. Just like you surrendered to your sorrow and guilt in the hall. Just like you surrendered to your Anger in the sewers. Hold onto that feeling of Lust. Let it permeate your entire body, but do not attempt to act on it. Instead, I want you to connect with the magic within and let it control the sphere. It will likely be a difficult process.”

I sat there with my eyes closed, enflamed by lust and desire, and tried to let it be without losing it. I quickly lost it, however. Years of conditioning kicked in, and my feelings were tamped down into neutrality in short order.

“That was a good effort, Ivor. You were able to hold that emotion for about three minutes. Most can’t do that without trying to act upon it. Out of curiosity, how were you able to not act upon it?” She asked.

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I looked up at her, the magic orb still in my hand. I focused on it, and pushed it into a flat sheet. “I’ve spent most of my life being shunned for some reason or other. Socially and romantically. I learned quickly how to not let my desire attract any attention. Easier to deal with rejection when it doesn’t ever happen, you know?” I said with a self-deprecating laugh.

The Great Mother never moved, never let Her eyes leave mine, but I knew She was displeased. “Have I said something wrong?” I asked, shrinking back slightly.

Her voice was hard as She said, “That laugh, Ivor. That was wrong of you.” suddenly She was in my face, mere milimeters from mine. “You’ll not treat yourself thusly. Not in my presence. Not ever,” She added with an air of finality. “Am I clear?”

“Crystal, Mother. Crystal clear.” I cleared my throat, adding, “I am human. I will make mistakes, but I will do everything I know to not treat myself like that again.”

She nodded, saying “I can accept that.” She straightened and continued, “Now. Once again, bring that lusty thought back to your mind, and let it suffuse you. Once you feel calm inside the emotion, turn your thoughts to the magic, and see what happens.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, letting the memory play out once more, letting myself enjoy it again, and lost it just the same.

“Again.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

So continued my training. We sat there under the yew tree for I don’t know how long, continually trying and failing to hold on to the sensation.

Until one time I held it. I was so exhausted that the only thing holding me to sanity was my lust and desire, and apparently that is what I needed to simply let go.

“That’s better, Ivor. Now, let your awareness flow to the magic and open your eyes,” She commanded.

I did as instructed and was mildly surprised to see that the previous ice-blue sphere was now a soft pink, and was pulsing in time to my heart. “Wow. That’s beautiful,” I said softly.

“Indeed. True love always is. Now comes the hard part. Form the idea of a shell of sorts around you, and let the magic do what it does,” She said gently.

I set the idea of an egg-shaped membrane in my head, and immediately ignored it. I saw the pink sphere quiver and then disappear. “Shit. I lost it. I was so close.”

“No, you didn’t. It worked, My child. For a moment, but it did work. You understand what it feels like to let go with a purpose; now you must get used to maintaining concentration and awareness on the shell by reflex. This won’t stop harmful spells from reaching you, but it will stop anyone from leeching your energy,” she said gently.

“Okay. I can live with that,” I said tiredly.

“Conjure it again, and keep it while we do other things,” She commanded.

I sighed softly, and continued.

I got to the point where I could bring up the sphere, and keep it at any point around me while going about my usual tasks without maintaining a constant awareness of it. It took about four hours, but I got it.

It took me another few hours to get to where I could let go within my lusty state of mind at will, and another few tries to get the shell around me for any length of time. By the end of it, I was utterly exhausted and mind-numbingly aroused.

“Well, I think that’s a good start for one day, Ivor. Even though you don’t need sleep here, I can see that you are exhausted and needy. Go and see Freyr, child,” The Great Mother said gently.

“Thank you, Mother. I shall take my leave,” I said wearily. I rose unsteadily, bracing myself against the tree.

Taking a steadying breath, I walked back into the Hall, hoping to find Odin or Freyr. Instead, I found Loki lounging at the table, his feet propped up.

“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. You look somewhat worse for wear, friend. To what do we owe this pleasure?” He said with a smirk.

“It appears that someone has drained me completely of my energy, and my body is out cold in Haruma. Probably for several days. It seems when I’m in serious danger, my spirit comes here,” I paused, taking a moment to stretch, “The Great Mother informed me of what has happened, and is teaching me how to keep it from happening again. It is grueling to say the least. I’m on my way to see Freyr. Can you please show me where his hall is?” I explained as I sat in front of him.

“You look unsteady, Ivor. Are you sure you should be pushing yourself this hard?” Loki asked, his expression one of concern.

I sighed heavily. “Yeah, man. I’m sure. I have a task to complete. I don’t know if I will ever be able to do it, but I’m not going to stop just because someone decided my energy looked tasty. If She can teach me how to be safe, I’ll take it. No matter how hard it may be,” I said.

“Bravo, Ivor. I can appreciate the determination, but why not just destroy whomever it is? Cuts the problem right out, it does.” He argued.

“Because while I am more than capable of doing so, I have no idea who it is. I’ll not destroy half of Chaia just to stop that from happening. Although, at times, I am sorely tempted to do so, if I’m completely honest,” I said, yawning.

“Let’s get you to Freyr, my friend,” Loki said, and stood. He walked around, and helped me to my feet, and we began our shuffle out of the hall.

After about ten minutes of walking, I found myself in front of a broad, iron-banded door. Loki rapped three times on it and waited. Receiving no answer. He beat on the door a couple more times, and began to bellow. “Freyr! Your child is in need of your assistance!” He looked at me conspiratorially and added, “That should get him running. He has fewer adherents than I do.”

We heard running footsteps from a field to our left, and we turned to see Freyr running at breakneck speed to reach us.

“Ah. There he is. Well, my good deed for the day is done. See you around, Ivor. Take care,” the Trickster said as he turned and walked back to the Hall.

Freyr slowed to a halt in front of me as I leaned against his door. “What did that bastard do to you, Son?” He said as he looked me over.

“He simply helped me over here. None of this is his doing. I’m simply exhausted from the training. At least I can do this,” I said, forming the sphere into a membrane around me.

“Very nice, Son. I’m proud of you,” He said, beaming. Let’s get you inside, and put some food into you. Looks like you could use it.” He oopened the door, and helped me inside to a chair.

While Freyr busied himself with gathering foodstuffs, I detailed the training to him. “....and that’s been about it. I can do this with my lust, but I have yet to let go inside anything else. Kinda worried what I’ll do in my Anger.” I said, shaking my head.

He lay a plate of cold meat, cheese and bread in front of me along with a mug of mead, and took a seat at the table beside me saying, “Don’t worry about that. When the time comes for that, you’ll be here, in safety. I’ve spoken with the Allfather and with Thor. They’ve both agreed to help you better channel your Anger. You’re in good hands, Son. They’re harsh, but fair.”

I ate the food thoughtfully, slowly sipping the mead. So much had changed in my life over the past couple of months. Dropped into an alien world, where magic was real. Meeting a woman who was at least my equal. Gaining a family. Finding a true purpose to my life that fills me with vigor instead of dread. Meeting my gods and forming an actual, living relationship with them. And here I was having lunch with my patron. I had much to be thankful for, and I determined right then and there that I would do everything in my power to help Chaia be a home to them that Earth never could be.

“Well. That was a change. What brought that on, Son?” Freyr asked, his voice radiating kindness.

“Just realizing that my life is not what I remember. And just how truly thankful I am to be here. Not just Asgard, but on Chaia. And I have a lot of work to do if I’m going to live up to my promises,” I said softly, still staring off into the middle distance.

Freyr lay a warm hand on my shoulder and shook me gently, saying “That’s what makes me proud, Son. You’re growing. I can see it, and so cann all of us here. You’re flowing like a river, boy. Just make sure to appreciate the scenery that goes by, eh?”

I smiled and nodded. Feeling better, I stood and stretched. “I think I should get back to Her. I feel ready to tackle more,” I said with a yawn.

“Good man. Head out the door, turn fifteen degrees to your left and walk. You’ll see the Hall in about ten minutes. I have to get back to the stables. Got to see about some new foals,” He said with a smile.

I nodded, and followed His instructions, eventually finding my way back to The Great Mother. I sat down in front of her, my back to the tree.

“I’m ready for my next lesson, Mother.”