Endless Online - Book 1: Oblivion's Blade (A GameLit adventure)
"Val, watch your six, he's spawning behind you!"
Val nodded, tapping his keyboard at a mad pace, quickly refreshing his rapid buffs, his Hammer Guardian raising its shield just as the lich spawning behind him released its Doomclaw attack.
The screen flashed a rainbow of colors as he took massive damage to stamina and health, Val tapping his primal potion and resisting the impulse to launch forth with a Hammer Strike. It was teamplay, not solo, and he had two healers buffing his stats and wards as fast as they could tap their boards. Their dps specialist was blasting the massive boss trapped with them in the depths of the crypt with fire magics for all she was worth.
Val frowned even as the dark corridors flashed with crimson magics. The Lich Guardian's health bar was full. Julia wasn't making a dent.
"Oh shit, Val, it's powering up! I'm casting my primal now."
"Don't waste it, wait for an opening," Val said, having finally gotten the measure of their foe, this, the fourth time they had made it so far into the newest expansion of Elerium, rumored to hold utterly unique gold star artifacts only available for this, the first week before being locked out of general circulation for at least a season. And they would be saleable, allowing for an incredible in-game windfall. But only if they could get past this, what they hoped but couldn't be certain was the final boss before the inner sanctum.
Eerie chanting resonated through Val's room, the same one he had spent his adolescence in, only now come back home to, as Val's itchy finger waited for the perfect moment. At that moment his legs' constant throb was more like a muted burn than a raging inferno of pain.
There! As the lich whispered the final two syllables of his incantation, Val charged, having powered up his Greater Disruption, knowing they had one chance to break past the lich's defenses before it completely obliterated them. Val's teeth flashed in a rictus of a grin as the creature howled, stumbling back, hearing his friend's roars of approval.
"Now, Julia! Defenses are halved, Primal that bitch! Salvin, wait for the door! If it goes green."
"Got it." A quiet voice, Salvin, their secret weapon, was tied to their TS chatgroup but not officially part of their four-man squad at all. He was their secret fifth, rogue class, and would be the one to go through the door, even if the lich they faced wiped them all off the grid. Which it had numerous times already. According to the chat groups Val had networked in, every adventuring group had met the same fate since the expansion was released, just days ago.
Hence the need to think outside the box, recruiting a solo rogue just to get past that door, scout ahead and report back, and if they were truly at the final boss, grab all the spoils he could and port out.
It was a risk. Salvin wasn't part of their group, so as far as the game was concerned, any spoils he found would be his. If he wanted to, he could pocket it all, and there wouldn't be a thing Val or his group could do.
Ultimately, it all came down to trust. Val knew of a couple games that seemed to foster ruthless exploitation, celebrating a free-for-all and all but void of cooperation, but Val knew enough of game theory to know how powerful true alliances could be against a sea of opponents too mistrustful to work together. It was, Val thought, worth the risk. Because without Salvin, Val feared they wouldn't make it in the chamber at all.
Not that they wouldn't do their damnedest, of course.
"Yes, finally got that bastard in the yellow!" Julia, perhaps their youngest player, chirped cheerfully.
Val grinned. "Nice one," he said, as the lich twisted back in a very good imitation of agonized fury, before lurching forward abruptly.
Val hissed, heart suddenly hammering. He had never seen any boss move like that, circling Val and gazing at the Hammer Guardian as if he would cut out Val's heart the second he had a chance.
Val forced his racing heart to ease, glaring at the computer, wondering how the hell those programmers had managed to get an NPC moving like an enemy combatant actually closing in for the kill. "John, Finn, Primal buff and heal, 3,2,1... now!"
Not even a grunt, his friend's buffing and healing magics pouring in perfect harmony, actually managing to buff each other's spells as they poured upon Val's tank, spell symmetry skills activating for added buffs, and just at the lull in the casting, giving them a much needed boost in warding their foe.
"Bloody fuck!" Finn's voice, suddenly panicked, as Val's hitpoints melted faster than butter in a skillet. "There's no way!"
"Damn it!" Val mashed his backup primal power, a racial trait he had specifically channeled to compliment his tank, earning himself a Greater Ram that interrupted the Lich's spell, just barely in time.
"Okay, okay, fuck. I'm putting my artifact in play," John whispered, and suddenly Val was at full hit points once more, the lich screeching something that almost sounded like dark chanting through Val's speakers before lurching back, it's own attack disrupted. Val quickly readied his guard once more, relieved beyond words to see his hit points at full, though his gut twisted at his friend's words. To put an artifact in play temporarily doubled its effectiveness, but
it was a desperate move, because if one wiped while using it, the artifact was gone for good.
"Fuck, John." It was all Val could say as John gave a nervous laugh.
"Worthy sacrifice if this works, glory to our guild."
But Val knew his focus dare not waver, or his friend's gesture was meaningless. "Now, Julia!"
A soft, feminine grunt through his headset, even as Julia unleashed her Disciple Primal, John and Finn both hooting in approval. Releasing two Primals was not an easy skill to master, requiring a specific quest chain, adept manual dexterity, and Elite rank. Add to that that logging off within twenty minutes of casting it put a two-hour ban on using that character.
Val grimaced. It looked like they were all playing for keeps today.
"Hell with it," he said, calling out a Thunderstrike, his second linked primal, launching forth with his axe and temporarily converting himself to pure DPS in the two-second window he had.
The maneuver was risky as hell. If the lich popped him, he was toast, but Val had sacrificed his first class to allow for the daily combination maneuver, and his ability to time his attacks, to strike between the beats, when and where his foes were least prepared, was no less profound in game than it was in real life.
"Woohoo! Nice one, Samurai!" Julia cheered as their hideous nemesis was sent stumbling back, his silver health bar flashing yellow, then red as it burst into flames and crackling black lightning simultaneously.
"Nice one!" John cheered, voice suddenly relieved, and Val could sense how much his impulsive sacrifice was weighing on his friend.
His friends could Cheer. Val was focused only on twisting and dodging the Lich's lightning counterattack, crackling energies flying down the corridor, missing him completely as old build acrobatics allowed him to dodge, but tearing through both healers and Julia.
"What the hell!" Finn cursed as Val, heart in throat, flipped back to Guardian mode just in time to meet the lich's onslaught, health already melting like butter. "It shouldn't be able to counter after two primals!"
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" John cried, panicked again as he desperately tried to cast his greater healing spell, even as Julia frantically warded up, most of her health gone with that simple boss counter-spell.
"Tag team it!" Val cried, knowing they were in serious trouble. All their big guns fired, and their foe was still at half health, and had only just begun. "3...2...1.. now, Julia!" He shield slammed his foe, praying for any kind of a stagger, knowing their only chance was a synergized dps bonus.
The lich didn't jostle an inch. Thank goodness that Julia at least got the dps multiple. The lich's health had slid further, at 40 percent.
"You're buffed, Val!" John whispered, and Val had never seen his wards so strong, happy to see that John was still benefiting from putting his artifact in play.
The screen flashed in a rainbow of black lightning, Val reflexively popping two expensive customized potions even as he shield-bashed in the split second between boss spell pulses. He cursed the brilliant pyrotechnics flashing across the screen that made it so damned hard to judge even that pause and scratch the smallest bonuses, no doubt as the programmer had intended.
"Oh fuck, we lost Julia!" Finn, their other healer said.
It was like the gong of doom. Finn's voice echoed long after he was silent, John not saying a word.
"Julia?" Val kept his voice calm, even as he mashed his keyboard madly, under heavy enemy fire, as he thought of it, slipping into old roles he knew all too well.
"I'm sorry, Val."
"Don't be. You gave it your all. Thank you."
Val flinched, almost certain Julia was holding back tears. "I fucked up. I... I should have waited the way you showed me, not released until he paused. I lowered my arcane block to cast, and I insta-fried."
"Shut up, Julia, no time!" John cried. Panicked voice making it clear he knew exactly what was at stake, he and Finn doing all they could to keep Val alive as he dodged, weaved between attacks, strove to stagger and bash the boss lich and make it's life as much a misery as possible.
Endless seconds of flashing lights, and Finn whistled.
"Damn, Val, you're on fire tonight."
And he was. Val grimaced, hands twitching as fast as thought as he dodged and spun about on the screen, truly slipping into the zone, feeling almost as if he was dancing with their foe, its every move already accounted for as Val dodged, spun and countered, desperate to bring their foe down.
But it was no use.
It did not matter that Val was on fire. Their damage dealer was dead. They could barely scratch their foe.
Worse, its health meter began to crawl back up.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" John cursed.
"God damn it, I'm calling it." Finn said, his despair carrying through loud and clear.
"Keep icy, Finn," Val said, voice cold and calm under terrible pressure. "Salvin? Are you ready?"
"I am."
Two words. Two words again to give them hope, meaning, a point to sore fingers and hours of frustration.
And like a miracle, the guarded gate behind the lich that Val had been slowly drawing close to him, leading halfway down the corridor as they had planned, finally went green.
"Now!"
"I know."
And Salvin was through.
The lich went into a frenzy then, yet another thing that never made it to the boards, probably because no one had used split groups to pass the main boss before, and for all Val's desperate weaving and button grinding, he was wiped from the game in a flash of white before digital blood and a skull and crossbones flowed over the screen.
"You have died. With great risk comes great triumph, and peril. For dying while using elite ranked abilities, your account is locked for two hours."
"Bloody hell." Val grimaced, rubbing his temple, the awful burning pain that comprised so much of his life suddenly tearing through him harder than the lich's spell.
"John? Finn?"
"Bloody fuck, man, I lost my artifact. I lost my god damned artifact! Do you know how many hours I put into farming that robe of splendor? My whole build is fucked! Thanks a lot, Val, thanks a whole hell of a bloody lot!"
Val frowned, taking a deep breath, but John had already cut his connection.
"Finn? Julia, are you still there?"
"Yeah, man. Don't sweat John. we just got caught up in the moment," Finn said. "Gambling his artifact on a power double was pretty stupid, but damn if I wouldn't have done the same thing. Julia might still be with us and we would have made game history!"
Val smiled at that. Sometimes idiocy or brilliance had less to do with the action itself than it did the results that followed, and how history chose to remember it. He looked down at his legs, eyes suddenly watering, realizing it had been over six hours since he had taken anything for pain.
"Val? Don't sweat it. You were on fire there, man. Honestly, had this been any other boss? We'd be rolling in the gold right about now."
"It was a good fight." Val smiled to hear Julia's voice. Still trembling, but at least she was with them.
"Thanks for sticking around, Julia, it was good. And hey, we all learned something."
"Yeah, I learned that this Delve is rigged, and never to PvP against you," Julia quipped. "I haven't even seen GameTube videos of players that fast, and we still wiped."
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Val shrugged. "All hopes is not lost. Salvin? We could use some good news if you have any for us."
A pregnant pause. Val frowned, glaring at his legs, ignoring his racing pulse, a quick glance showing that Salvin was still logged in their chat group. He felt a sudden weight lift from his chest. Had Salvin logged out already, their worst fears would have been realized.
What happened was almost worse.
"I'm in," he said, to their breathless pause. Then, finally, "You were right, Val, that was the final boss. And the hoard? Let's just say, a Jack's ransom."
"Sweet!" Finn hooted. "Sorry I doubted you for even a second!"
Julia cheered as well, but Val frowned. "A Jack's ransom." A flash of recollection, then, Val racing off on hyper fast fighters in a desperate bid to take out a massive dreadnought class battleship in a game that had never made it past beta. Back when he was fresh, innocent, and actually looked at the future with something besides weary bitterness and grim resolve. A time when he had been unabashedly happy.
One thing about that game was, just as alliances were valued, held all the more precious for their rarity, nothing was admired quite so much as a brilliant heist. Solar Crowns, the game had been called, so brilliant in scope and content that had the owners not been indicted for money laundering, it might just be the biggest game out there today.
Val had enjoyed making epic scores of his own on more than one occasion while playing. In fact, if he were to be completely honest, he had enjoyed being a backstabbing ass. Until he himself was forged in the crucible of battle and learned what loyalty and teamwork really meant.
"What color is the hilt?" Val asked, forcing himself to grin and bear it, thinking back upon how conveniently Salvin had been floating about, joining their guild just two weeks back, a highly skilled rogue, perhaps the most difficult class to train up, and some would argue the least rewarding, save for their assistance in high level runs, so always valued when they hit Elite ranks. So of course when he was running green level dungeons with never a complaint against him, it caught Val's eye. And when Val made it clear he was looking for a thief for an unorthodox play... Salvin was just where he needed to be.
Salvin chuckled softly. "So you get it, do you? Then you know how this goes. My hilt is as black as the blade I've just stuck in your back. Thanks for the hall, Val. For someone who played Solar Crowns once upon a time, you should have seen this coming from miles away."
"What? What the hell just happened?" Finn cursed. "Salvin? You better not double cross us, we bled for that loot! God damn it all to hell, what just happened?" But Salvin had already logged off.
Val had no words, just clenching his fists tightly, shaking his head, doing his best to see it all as a game. Just a game as his legs burned like fire, stealing a glance at his second computer using Tails and TOR and a ghost network account, stealing bandwidth they'd never miss from a prestigious group home just a block away with a burn cord.
He flashed a bleak smile as Salvin, aka Ramos Aldieren's California address popped up, his ping having been traced five minutes into the game. Salvin had been right. Val should have seen this coming. And he had. And he had taken a risk, hoping for the best, using skills he wouldn't let get rusty, no matter how much pain he was in, which at least allowed him a bleak smile.
"Val? I don't understand. What does this mean?" Julia's soft, plaintive voice.
Val sighed. "It means, Julia, that Salvin double-crossed us."
"Oh shit no! That's so messed up! We worked hard for that, to get that far, and Salvin didn't do anything! Why would he do that? Why would he pretend to be our friend, just to stab us in the back? Doesn't he feel the least shred of shame?"
Val shrugged. "Probably not."
"Yeah, I'll bet he's laughing his ass off, right now!" Finn snarled. "What I'd like to do to that bastard..."
"Finn."
"Break every bone is his goddamned body!"
"Finn."
"What?"
"Let it go."
A brooding pause. "Damn it, Val, why did you have to trust that shithead?"
Val shrugged, though no one could see it. "It was the only way, Finn. I took a calculated risk. Of course it was possible he was bait. It's equally possible that he could have been a straight-up kid who, if he had played his cards right, would have earned the right to profit and adventure besides the best damn crew I've ever played with. He decided digital currency is worth more than real life honor, and we'll never play with him again."
A thoughtful pause. "I still feel like crap," Julia said. "If I hadn't popped... if we had gotten in, it might have been a pickup race, but we would have gotten most of the pot!"
Val smiled. "Don't worry about it, Julia. No guarantee we weren't going to pop within seconds anyway. That lich was throwing off so much area effect dps just from bounceback off of his primary attacks against me that it would probably have fried you, no matter what we did to counter."
"What a fucked up game," Finn cursed.
Val smiled and shrugged. "That it is, as much as I love it. On that note, I'm going to call it. Same time tomorrow?"
"Sorry, Val, extra school for me."
Val blinked. "You're in trouble with classes, Julia? I thought you were straight A?"
A rueful tinkle filled his headset. "Hardly, Val. Don't you remember? Mother is determined to get me into medical school, and so she signed me up for evening bio courses at the local community college, as if my regular course load wasn't enough."
Val winced. Julia had told him that just the other day when she had been grinding with him, both of them determined to master their Primal attack weaves. Honestly he had enjoyed their conversation far more than the grinding. "Actually, that's pretty smart. Medical school or no, you're that much closer to a degree."
"Pretty much, and that way I can see if I actually like anything they teach, or if the home front's going to become a battleground."
Val smiled. "Hopefully not."
"I've got some real-life prep work to do myself, Val," Finn said. "I'll e-mail you when I next have some free time."
"Sounds good, Finn," Val said as his friend logged off.
"Val?" Julia, still logged on, her voice strangely tentative.
"Yes, Julia, what's up?"
"Did you ever serve?"
Val blinked at that, the silence suddenly stretching. "What makes you ask?" he finally said.
"Well, it's just your tone of voice, sometimes. Like you're giving orders. And the way you get so calm and focused when things are really going crazy. It kind of reminds me of my dad."
Val chuckled softly. "I guess I do get kind of intense, sometimes. Sorry if that throws you off."
"No. Actually, it's kind of neat. You remind me of him, actually. Are you active military?"
Val forced a smile in his voice, knowing it was time to change tracks. "Actually just a few years back, I was in high school myself. Maybe I've been playing too many military games. If I took my father's advice, I'd get out of my room and get out more. Make something of myself."
"Does he really say that? You don't come off as a layabout to me. Hmm... if I were to bet, I'd guess you're either in college, the military, or, I don't know, climbing up the corporate ladder?"
Val grinned. "Nope, sorry to disappoint you, Julia, but right now I'm just a guy who lives at home and spends too much time online."
"Oh." A thoughtful pause. "Have you ever thought of going to college? I can tell you're smart. I'll bet you'd do really well."
Val closed his eyes, allowing the screams and terror to flow through him, taking deep breaths, imagining the horrid pain fading to a brilliant white light, the sun glimmering in the clouds, and there he was, soaring in the majestic heavens... awful screams endless miles away, finally at peace, just embracing the moment. "I'd be going into my senior year, if I were at college," he finally said.
"Oh really?" Julia said brightly. "That's not too old, then. I'm going to college next year myself. You're still young, Val, you should really go."
Val laughed. "Maybe I should, Julia. You take care of yourself, okay? And good luck with the college courses."
"Thanks, Val, I get the feeling I'll need all the luck I can get." She paused then, and Val's brows furrowed as his eyes glanced at the clock, knowing his father would be coming soon. "Val?"
"Yes, Julia, what's up?"
"Have you ever heard of the game Endless?"
Val blinked and frowned, hands tightly gripping the arms of his specially designed chair. "Endless? I don't think I have."
"That's because it's still in beta testing. But from what I hear, it's totally next gen."
"Really."
"I know, that's what I said. But then I saw images of some of the graphics, and, my god, Val, you've heard about the VFX singularity, right?"
Val nodded. "The point at which digital games can't be distinguished from reality? Which begs the question, what is reality? And if we ever achieve it, are we really just tapping into the fundamental nature of everything?"
"Pretty much," Julia enthused. "Anyway, the still shots looked convincing enough, but when my friend and I got access to their locked site and check out the livestream, all I can say is... wow. Those guys at ESI are not kidding! I hate to say it, but as much as I love playing Elerium with you, this game blows that out of the water."
Val chuckled. "And that's how it will always be. No matter how much you love a game, there will always be something new coming along that carries you away like your old game could only during those first beautiful weeks of play."
"Not like this," Julia declared. "Honestly, Val, this game Endless? I don't think it gets any better. I don't think it can." Julia paused, as if collecting herself. "I'm sorry, I'm going on a rant about a competing game, and it's not even out on the market. God, it might be years away, but seriously, Val, watching these characters act and move, it felt like I wasn't just watching a movie, but was taking a part in a real-life event! It really was incredible."
Val whistled. "All right, color me intrigued. If this game is even half that good, it sounds like something we could lose ourselves in for years, if we wanted."
"Right." Julia laughed. "Not that I will even want to touch that game if I actually get accepted to my mother's dream college and walk the path of becoming a doctor, but evening classes aside, this might just be my last summer to just go crazy and game my heart out before I have to be serious Julia for the rest of my life."
Val laughed. "You just might find being serious and goal driven leaves you more fulfilled than the games we love ever could. All jokes aside, I think your mother has some great plans for you, assuming medicine turns out to be your passion as well."
"I hope so," she enthused. "Honestly, I'd love it if I could make it. I hope I have the same passion for medicine as my mother, but I am totally filling out the application to intern at Endless. If I could spend this summer beta testing for the future game of the century, I'll take it in a heartbeat! If I can actually get paid? All the better."
"You do that," Val enthused, chatting for some moments longer before saying goodnight and beginning the arduous process of getting ready for bed, knowing he would need to take his medicine if he wanted to get any sleep at all, and hating the fact that he needed it so much. Yet once he was lying down, with only fire and darkness to keep him company, he knew he would be grateful for the pills he had taken. Sleep couldn't come fast enough.
But before he did that, he pivoted to his second computer with a painful grimace as he jostled his legs, quickly jotting notes in a spiral notebook which, for all its flaws, was invaluable in its inability to be hacked or compromised ever, then wiped the screen clean.
He looked at his notes and shook his head.
He would do nothing, of course. Salvin, aka Ramos Aldieren, was a 22-year-old California resident who had never finished college and was currently stuck in returns somewhere. He wasn't an enemy combatant.
He didn't need to die.
Val grimaced and shook away the thought, a quick eyeball of his large semi-hemispheric computer table with its customized keyboards, monitors and mic showed nothing untoward, his notebook full of jottings hiding so much in disorganized, scribbled, plain sight.
With a satisfied nod he eased himself into bed at last, dropping into deepest slumber that quickly transformed into the most visceral of dreams. Blinking his eyes open to find himself awake and alert, strolling the Greenwood mall just a mile away, following behind a pair of animated voices, chatting about clothes, music, boys, and the colleges of their dreams. Val blinked, focusing in on the pair after recognizing Julia's voice, stunned to see her gazing back at him with a smile.
"Don't worry, Val, I'll still pass finals with flying colors."
And Val had smiled back, walking free and easy without pain, happy to help carry the girl's bags as the three of them started gossiping about their teachers and dreams for the future, and in that moment Val was not a scarred former soldier, but rather an enthusiastic high school student with his entire future before him and a beautiful friend to share it with.
Julia waved them forward, picking up her pace. "Come on, Val, I want to show you the coolest store! I know you'll love it. Their games are cutting edge!"
Val shrugged and smiled and the three of them picked up their pace, stopping only for gourmet ice cream which Val and Julia both loved, their friend passing as she was lactose intolerant, Val's eyes catching one of 3-D posters outside the mall theater they passed. Val grinned at the strange looking picture, showing a man stepping between worlds, a crackling sword of light and darkness in hand, leaving the mundane realm for some place full of magic and wonder. It looked so much like the classic science-fantasy films Val loved. Then he saw the face of the lead actor, now gazing back at him.
"Be careful, Val."
He swallowed, stopping cold, eyes locked upon pools of blackness. The face was his own.
He shook his head, forcing himself to look at the poster once more. No strange movements, it was no more life-like than any other movie display, but the words still rung through his head.
"Val, here it is, the shop I was telling you about!"
Val frowned, shaking away odd reverie, weaving past anxious shoppers as he raced to Julia's side, a cold tingle of dread suddenly racing down his spine.
He gazed at an animated Julia, even as her friend gave a tired sigh. "You know I'm not a gamer, Julia," the other girl said, her friend trying to coax her to go inside, just to check out the displays.
Shrugging, they entered together, auburn curls and twinkling green eyes bidding Val to follow. "Come on, Val, you'll want to..." and her words were abruptly cut off as she entered a wall of bubbling blackness that had been a store, just moments ago.
A wall of roiling darkness that stretched across the face of the store, the walkway beside it, now stretching as far as the eye could see.
Strangely, almost everyone seemed oblivious to it, for all that it seemed to swallow up anyone to pass through it, spitting out no one in turn.
Val shuddered, stumbling away from the hideous wall of inky darkness.
Then it began, ever so slowly, to creep forward.
"I told you, Val," whispered the strange papery voice of the movie poster, now right behind him.
"I told you to be careful. Now I'm going to have to kill you."
The figure from the movie poster tore itself free, slipping to the ground before sinking its teeth into a suddenly shrieking Val's neck.
Val awoke, throat raw with screams, the nightmare washing through him so fast that only terror remained. Nameless, awful dread, with only the septic scent of a battlefield surgery ward lingering upon his nose. He slammed aside all the pill bottles waiting for him that morning. This, more than anything else, was why he hated taking the drugs.
They always tormented him with the most awful dreams.
The next morning Val spent as he did near every morning since coming back home, losing himself in the wonders of Elerium, enjoying the simple experience of exploring an ever-expanding world, turning in quests for fame and glory, even helping out the occasional noob trapped in one of the easier dungeons that were perfect for newer players learning group mechanics but that only an idiot would try to solo, unless they were like Val, of course, and could actually pull it off. He was quite happy to spend the entire day in Elerium if he could get away with it. Because every hour he didn't need to take his medications, every hour he was not enslaved to his own pain was an hour hard-won, to his mind.
His father's knock suddenly reverberated through his room.
"Just a sec," Vall said, before forcing himself to his feet with a grimace, opening the door to his bedroom, gazing up into concerned hazel eyes of his father. With strong chiseled features and thick shock of dark hair belonging to a man decades younger, his powerful physique was that of a man who had entered more than one triathlon, and trained for them still. Reminiscent of the person Val saw every day in his mirror. An older, undamaged version of himself.
"How are you feeling, Val?"
"Like my legs are on fire, dad."
His father nodded. "I know you haven't been taking your pain medications unless you're dying for sleep. I'm concerned."
"I'm worthless on those meds. I can barely think. I'm just floating in clouds all day. I won't get anywhere in life, high as a kite all the time."
His father sighed. "You've done enough. At ease, son."
Val squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing his temples. "Sorry, dad. The thought of not being sharp, not being in the moment, being just another drugged out wash-up, that cuts almost as deeply as the pain." He chuckled softly. "If I didn't know the medicine was just a couple feet away... I'd be screaming. I know it. But it's like an endurance race. I can stop at any time. So why not push for another few minutes, another hour? And if playing Elerium lets me do that, I'm happy to lose myself in running dungeons."
"I do understand, Val. But we're heading out, and I know how bad the pain gets for you when you're not distracting yourself. Take the Neurontin, at least. It's not an opioid, and it will help calm the nerves. If doctor Haussman is right, it will also help prevent the pain from becoming hardwired into your brain."
Val gazed reluctantly at the hated pill bottles. "Alright, dad. Since we're heading out, I'll take the damn pills. So I can go a few hours without sobbing in public."
His father nodded in approval, and Val knew he would bring the quick relief pain medicine, just in case Val needed it.
Val grimaced, taking his prescribed drugs, hating how they made him feel so foggy and helpless, but unable to deny the exquisite relief they brought.
And still, for all that, he forced himself to toddle on shaky legs so badly scarred that the skin looked like pockmarked parchment, as much ugly ragged scar tissue as skin and muscle. Not even the drugs were able to numb that agony as he made himself hobble to the dining room, conceding to the walker but refusing to use a wheelchair in the house, his father a calm step behind, allowing Val to do it himself, there to catch him if he stumbled and fell.
When he made it down the tastefully decorated hall into the grand kitchen, high arched ceilings as graceful as Val remembered his mother to have been, he breathed a sigh of relief, taking a few bites of the buttery crepes waiting for him along with with a cold glass of milk to wash it down.
His father's gaze was solemn. "It's good to see you back home." So much said with those words.
Val smiled. "I know how busy your business keeps you. I'm sorry to be cutting into your time so much."
A frown and shake of the head. "Not at all. You are my son. Smith has things well in hand, and the least I can do is make myself available to you on the weekends. Frankly, Val, I'm just grateful you accepted my invitation to move back in. This house is far too big for me to live in alone."
Val lowered his head, nodding slightly as memories of their entire family washed over him. Happy, healthy, together, a sweet fantasy to eat to, closing his eyes and imagining his sister's laughter, his brother's soft coos, and their mother's warm smile. Then he ate his crepes and thought of nothing at all.