"In other words...

I won't actually get the memories I lost back?"

"Well, those memories are gone forever...

But your other personality hasn't forgotten her own memories.

So if I fix the connection, her memories will flow into you."

"I see..."

Something about it sounds a little disturbing...

Those memories aren't really mine... but at the same time, they are.

And after this, I will remember them as if they were always mine.

...

But I still want to know what really happened.

I want to know why I'm now doing whatever the god tells me.

Maybe, I will even figure out who even is that girl god told me to kill...

"Then, let's do it."

"Alright then."

Afterwards, I lied down on a bed and En put me to sleep again...

.....

........

I see whiteness all around me.

Just white void and no sounds at all.

...

Although, now that I look more carefully, it's not completely white.

There are a few darker spots here and there.

Hmm, are these-

Suddenly, something blurry materialized in front of me.

A few incomprehensible sounds came from it, which made me instinctively raise my guard.

But I soon realized just what it was as both its appearance and voice became clearer and clearer.

"H-y, c-- you he-r me alread-?"

It was still difficult to make out the details.

But I now knew what it was.

It was... me.

"... are you the other me?"

After I said that, it finally became fully clear.

Red eyes, short black hair and fur.

And a... really small tail?

"Ah... that cat actually did it...

Finally...

It was so long..."

...

I have never seen a happier expression than what the other me just showed.

And I didn't even really know why she was so happy.

"Yes... I'm your other personality.

And... oh, looks like some memories are already flowing from me to you."

When she said that, I remembered something.

It was a memory where I rode on a wild boar.

I was trying really hard not to fall off and...

"Alright, I think it would be better if we began from the start.

It will be more effective than just having you remember random things."

Just as she said that, I recalled another event.

It was me fighting against a horde of flying stone monsters with my bare hands.

"Quick, take my hand.

I will try to do this properly."

Without a sliver of hesitation, I grabbed the other me's hand...

And then it started.

My name is Reiza.

I was born into a black wolfman tribe.

There aren't many memories from back when I was a baby.

The earliest memory I can remember, is learning magic from my mother.

It was a basic dark spell, nothing complicated.

But I couldn't even do that.

The disappointment my mother showed me left me with a strong impression.

I didn't want to disappoint her... I wanted to get better so she would be proud...

Another memory I have, is of father teaching me how to use weapons.

I failed at that too.

First time around, I would have almost cut off my ear if father didn't intervene.

And even as time passed, I didn't improve much at anything.

Even at an age of around four, I still couldn't properly swing a sword or conjure a simple spell.

Just like my parents, I felt disappointed in myself.

At that time, I didn't fully understand, but we were at war with a neighboring foxman tribe.

One day, something, that felt very odd to the young me, happened.

It was when my mother and father returned from some sort of meeting...

Both of them hugged me with tears in their eyes.

They kept apologizing and saying they will miss me.

At the time I didn't understand what was happening.

The next day, my parents left in the morning...

And never returned.

Instead, uncle Renar visited me.

He fed me and continued training me at magic and swordsmanship in place of my parents.

He came by every day and at some point, we pretty much lived together.

Of course, I tried asking him what happened to mother and father.

But he never really answered that question.

The dumb little me foolishly thought they left to travel somewhere.

I thought they would return one day and so I trained even harder.

Just so I could show them just how much I have improved...

That naive thinking wouldn't last too long though.

As time went by, I found out that the war was over.

Initially, I thought we won, but that was yet another mistake.

I eventually realized what really happened.

We, the black wolfman tribe, and the Nouria foxman tribe agreed to make peace.

But it wasn't that simple...

We wouldn't just stop fighting out of nowhere.

Instead... an agreement was made.

As a sign of peace, five of the most skilled combatants will be sacrificed from both villages.

And two of the five from our village... were my parents.

I didn't want to believe it...

Did they agree to this themselves?

Or were they forced by the village chief?

I didn't know what to think...

Eventually, I somehow started believing that they were simply sick of seeing me be so incompetent.

...

Looking back at it now, that idea sounds ridiculous.

But the young me couldn't help but be depressed.

Nonetheless, life went on.

For several years, all I did was sleep, eat and train.

I barely talked to anyone, even uncle Renar.

Seeing that, he forced me to join a certain group of children of my age.

What they supposedly did, was roaming the village's outskirts and hunted animals to gain some field experience.

And that was the only reason why I didn't oppose joining them too much.

But what happened the first day I joined was quite a bit different from what I expected...

I don't even know what I did, if anything at all.

But for some reason, everyone in that group clearly showed they didn't like my presence.

In fact, it didn't take long until one of them picked a fight with me to 'prove his strength' or something like that.

I ended up breaking his arms and knocking him unconscious.

His friends were probably angered and also attacked me.

But they met a similar fate.

One by one, I beat them as they came at me.

But when there were only three of them left, two of them confronted me.

|This particular memory, I can remember surprisingly well...|

"Stop it already."

That's what the third boy said as he stood in front of me.

His name was Will, known in the village as the 'wimp', who doesn't like fighting.

It was quite surprising when he stood up for me.

"What the hell are you doing Willy?"

"Out of the way wimp!"

Of course, these guys wouldn't back off just because he told them.

Will could only sigh.

"Why are all kids so irritating... no matter where I am..."

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"The hell was that you little shit?!"

"You are even younger than us, you wimp!"

"Just stop...

This isn't even training anymore."

His attitude made those three even angrier.

Without any other words, they charged at both of us.

And just as I was about to counter them...

They were struck by a stream of water and knocked onto the ground.

I looked around in confusion until I realized it was Will's doing.

He shot some water spell out of his hands and defeated both of them.

In an instant, he gathered the mana, formed the spells, fired them in two different directions and hit both of his targets perfectly.

The same boy, who supposedly hated fighting and never practiced weapon handling or magic.

He showed magic proficiency I couldn't even imagine reaching at the time.

"Ah... crap..."

...

But immediately after that, he fell down on the ground and lost consciousness.

After that, I stood there and blankly stared at him and the two others, who he defeated.

I couldn't figure out what just happened.

|Later, some adults from the village appeared and brought everyone back...|

After we all got safely back to the village, I was going to be executed.

Seeing me be fine, while the others were unconscious, the adults concluded I was aiming to kill all the others kids.

While nobody died, it was true that I didn't really take into regard their survival when I beat them up.

Luckily, uncle Renar defended me and I ended up avoiding execution.

The condition was that I would stop my combat training and just do whatever 'other girls' do.

That meant processing whatever the boys managed to hunt, tending to their equipment, going out to collect herbs and other nonsense.

Since defying meant execution, I had no choice.

Compared to combat, all of these tasks felt really monotonous.

With every passing day, I felt even emptier than before.

And above all, I started to doubt my very existence.

Previously, I was trying to get stronger to impress my parents.

And even after I found out they were dead, I kept on training.

Probably because that felt like the best thing I could do.

But now... I couldn't even do that.

Slowly, negative emotions built up inside me.

|Then, one day, when I went collecting berries with other girls again, something happened...|

Normally, an escort or two come along to guard us.

But this time, it was those two boys, who were defeated by Will back then.

They were still holding a grudge against me and kept insulting and making fun of me as we went.

But I couldn't do anything about it.

If I beat them up, I would be executed for sure.

So I just had to endure it...

...

And then, a wild animal appeared.

Before we could even identify what it was, it dashed past us and took out one of our escorts.

His blood spattered all over the place.

While the other girls raised a scream of terror, the second escort froze in place.

The beast in front of us swiftly turned around and prepared for another charge.

In that time, we had the chance to see what was about to kill us.

A boar almost as big as one of the adults with tusks protruding from its mouth.

Its fur was bright red but got gradually darker at its legs.

Then, it charged again.

The other escort guy barely managed to draw his weapon to intercept its attack.

But although he managed to avoid getting killed, his sword was knocked away with that.

The boar immediately turned around and charged him again.

But before the boy could be turned into a bloodstain, a dark spell hit the boar's side.

The source of that attack... was my hand.

A clean and quick magical attack.

It even surprised myself.

However, instead of damaging the boar, it made me into its new target.

It immediately charged at me, ignoring everything and everyone else.

And although I have gotten quite rusty at combat, I still managed to dodge its charge while my hand fired another dark spell at it.

This time, my spell seemed to have hit its eyes, which made the boar squeal.

Of course, it didn't stop it from charging at me again.

I shouted my lungs out as I threw one more spell right at its face as it got near me.

That didn't make it stop its charge completely, but it made the boar's charge miss me as it momentarily slowed down.

In the heat of the moment, I jumped on the boar's back.

But right after I did that, it started to run quicker again.

It wouldn't be easy to hold on as it tossed around to try and shake me off.

I used my nails and sank them deep into its flesh just to hold on.

It ran and violently shook while crashing into nearby rocks and trees.

However, I refused to yield.

I sank my nails even deeper into it and even bit it with my teeth just to keep a better grip on it.

But the boar wouldn't surrender either.

It ran into several trees and made them topple over.

I slowly felt my strength leaving me.

I knew I wouldn't last much longer.

As a last ditch effort, I amassed what mana I had left and focused it all on my fingers sunk deep into the boar's flesh.

That made it flail around one more time, which finally threw me off.

My tired body flew in an arc away from the boar.

And as it hit the ground, I lost consciousness...

----------------------------------------

Bonus:

About souls and the cycle of reincarnation.

Souls are absolute and eternal.

They cannot be destroyed or created.

They can, however, be changed when residing in a living being.

The memories, personality, experience and a few other things are all in the soul.

As one lives, their soul will change as well.

However, after death, their soul will travel to an unknown place, where it will be cleansed off of its impurities.

Simply put, it will be changed to what it was before it ever entered a living being.

And after that, it will return to some world, enter another living being and reincarnate.

Most creatures don't realize they have been reincarnated, because all of their past memories have been wiped clean.

However... there is a certain something, which prevents the soul from being cleansed.

Something you can acquire during your life.

And that something is divinity.

"Yep... gods keep dying and reincarnating.

That means infinite fun!"

Unless their divinity dies off.

At which point, their soul will be cleansed like normal when they die.

"And that's exactly why I can't just kill that slime...

It would kill my divinity as well...

And I can't have that!"

So in the end, it's just your selfish reasons...

...

By the way, how come you are acting casually again?

Are you not scared of that god girl anymore?

"Eh, I mean...

She probably won't even find me, you know?

No point in worrying about useless things!

I'll find something new to have fun with again!"

...

Pretty sure this is called a 'death flag'.