An end goal. Something to strive for, to put my all into! It could be a revenge to kill the person who murdered a loved one. Or the wish to harness vast amounts of knowledge. Maybe to become a legendary hero that saved the world!
…
Yeah I don’t really have a major life goal like that. At the rate I'm going I’ll be forced into that last one, but I mean… I don’t really want to in all truths.
All I really have is a thirst for anything entertaining and a desire to keep myself, myself, and not some weird nothing floating through everything and the void... Maybe I do remember that dream from last night. Regardless, very simple and small things that will definitely not rule my life and how I will live it.
I know so little as of right now, that making an end goal and striving for it with my very being as of now might actually be detrimental to me. Keeping that in mind, I shelf it for way later, lamenting that I can’t make a permanent mental note for ease of use.
… Right?
[Command confirmed, opening pre-sub mind menu for memorization. Please hold.]
Huh. okay then.
[Opening pre-sub mind menu for memorization, current capabilities are limited by low level and ability comprehension:
- - - - - - - - -
The previous space is available to make notes and store word based information. Currently limited by low level and ability comprehension.]
Simply putting the words ‘do not create an end goal yet’ into the space, I feel like a single drop of water was added to a bathtub. Putting together that the drop I felt was probably the amount of space I have to work with, I move onto planning out how I will operate for the next while.
I know that the day after tomorrow is when we meet the king, and a few days after that is the field exam. During the exam I need to find Norsin and that guy named Finn. Anything past that point I don’t know.
‘Why do I feel like I’m missing something… Oh shit, I was supposed to meet with lady Arwin.’ Jumping up out of my chair, I leave a note on the desk in my room for the person that was going to drop off my clothes saying where to put them.
Hurrying down the hall, I realise that I don’t actually know where I was supposed to find lady Arwin. Slowing down, I start looking for a maid or some other staff that could help me.
After a few minutes of searching, I find a well dressed man who I presume to be a butler with a cart carrying several different flowers. Moving over to him, I grab his attention and ask where I could find lady Arwin.
A brief conversation later and I’m rushing down the halls again, coming to a large round corner room with a set of stairs leading up. Following the stairs, I take note of multiple lavish ornaments draping over the walls and spaced around the area.
Coming to a flat stretch of floor, I find a door and knock. Hearing nothing, I wait for a few moments before the door handle moves, revealing lady Arwin and a very cluttered interior.
“Ah, hero Erja. I was wondering when you would come by. Please, come in.” Greeting her on my way in, I sit down on a sofa around a low coffee table in the middle of the room.
“So, I assume you are here to know more about the classes I suggested?” she asks, sitting down opposite me while holding herself in a polite yet almost forced and awkward way.
Paying it no mind, I answer her, “Yes. I’m curious as to the reasons you think I should start with them instead of normal classes. Aside from the age difference that is.”
“The main reason comes from both Sir Gloommoor and Sir Artreus. Both of whom have vouched for your skill.” Now that, was a surprise. Sir Roldand I could see even if I still did slightly doubt it. While the only interaction I had ever made with Norsin was a confused glance, and a very extremely subtle threat being made.
Going back and forth with questions and answers for a few minutes, I start to notice that Lady Arwin seems to be becoming more and more forced with her way of speaking and moving.
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“Lady Arwin, Are you alright?” I ask, starting to feel like something was off. I didn’t really care if she has a cold or something, but for now I have to play the part of a normal person that can have emotions.
“I am fine, hero Erja. Though I have something to attend to so I must ask to cut this meeting… short.” Continuing to feel like something major was wrong, I try to discreetly observe her physical condition as I get up.
Seeing nothing wrong at first, I brush it off as some sort of injury. That was before I spotted the veins on her neck being over pronounced and her eyes seemingly holding a different emotion from her face and body language.
Seeing that, I get hit by a random feeling of disgust and rage so powerful I simply double over and kneel on the ground. Trying not to show what I was feeling, I try and fail to stand up.
“Hero Erja? Are… you alright.” Lady Arwin asks, not moving from her spot.
Letting the moment pass to a point where its bearable to even think, I stand up slowly and respond. “I am fine Lady Arwin, I pulled a muscle while training earlier is all.” I lie.
Much to my relief, Lady Arwin doesn't seem to notice that I was trying to deceive her, “If you are alright, you are dismissed.” She says as if nothing happened. Feeling like something was incredibly wrong, I walk back to my room.
The further I got from Lady Arwin, the more the feeling subsided. Until there was nothing to tell me that I had ever felt anything aside from my memories. Racking my brain to figure out what that could have been, I enter my room to find the clothes I had ordered neatly folded on my bed.
Taking a deep breath, I put the feeling and weird way Lady Arwin was acting aside for later. I quickly try on the clothes to see how they fit. Satisfied, I keep the casual wear clothes on and sit down at my desk by the window again.
Seeing where the sun in the sky was, along with when I woke up, I come to the conclusion that it was around mid evening time. Picking up the book I had taken from the library, I start from the top and lose myself to its pages.
Being interrupted by a knock at my door, I set the book down to open the door, realising that night had fallen. Opening the door, I see a maid moving a cart covered with several different foods.
“Hero, please enjoy your food.” she says before handing me a covered tray and walking away. Taking the tray back to my desk, I sit down and wonder what the food was going to be.
Being pleasantly surprised by a piece of meat, and potatoes along with a few assortments of other small sides and garnishes. Trying each piece of the food before I started digging in, I couldn’t help but be impressed by the simplicity yet goodness of the meal.
Eating it fairly quickly, I set it to the side and go to the bathroom to clean up for the day. Having a shower and then preening myself in front of the mirror, I stop to see if anything strange had changed about my appearance. To my luck, I was still exactly the same.
Finishing up, I go back to the book and read for a bit longer before crawling into bed and trying to fall asleep. As usual, it took me longer than I’d like.
A void, the same as before.
Unending and unwavering.
The void seems to move, and a speck appears in the vast nothing.
A small speck, inconsequential.
And yet the gears of reality tremble, as if something past their control slips into existence.
A burden is created, bestowed to one.
A child in the scheme of everything, giving form to a horrible mistake.
An average man.
The Child of Burden.
I wake up, yet again in a cold sweat. But I remember something, as if a crack in a wall holding scenes and memories I shouldn’t have had appeared. Getting up and out of bed, I walk to the bathroom and follow my daily routine, absentmindedly doing things as I try to recall what I dreamt about.
Having no luck, I start my day in a bad mood again, before pushing my feelings aside for now as we had a final day of rushed etiquette before we met the king tomorrow. Waiting for the person that would wake the rest of the summoned up and single the start of the day, I sit and read the book again with nothing else to do.
[System level increase recommended, please increase the level of :Voice of nothing:.]
Hearing the voice, I’m pulled from my thoughts. Confirming that I wasn’t going completely insane, I double check to make sure that the voice spoke up of its own accord.
[System level increase recommended. It is recommended to increase the level of :Voice of nothing: as it can then be used to clear misinformation. Please increase its level.]
‘Why is it being so persistent? I’m not even able to level so what does it expect?’ Trying to figure out why it wanted to be levelled so badly, I try to just simply ask it. Only to receive more of it saying that it recommends I increase its level.
Giving in, I ask it how to level it up again just to be sure. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I should have known that it wouldn't be very helpful.
[To level :Voice of nothing: the user must: Die, or, accept.]
‘What do you mean by that? I can’t kill myself otherwise theres no point, and you won’t tell me what to accept!’ Starting to get worked up, I try and calm myself, only to feel a cold shiver down my spine at the voice’s next words.
[This is not a request. For the sake of The Child of Burden, increase the level of your innate ability by: Dieing, or accepting your fate.]