Flames. Everything was in flames.
I stood in the cold frigid air as I saw the flames lick everything in its path. The buildings, cars, the streets, everything was ablaze. Any normal person would’ve run away, fearing for their lives. But I just stood there entranced by it, almost as if I-
“Beautiful sight isn’t it?”
I turned towards the voice to see a man who was also standing and watching the fire.
He wore a ragged brown jacket with a fur covered hood that hid his face. His jeans and shoes were easily just as ragged as his jacket.
“A beautiful sight from a beautiful light upon this beautiful night.”
The man paused and put his hand on his chin.
“Does that sound good?”
I gave no response to his jovial question.
“Hm. I guess not. But I’ll keep it. It’s not like I can come up with anything better with my sick head.”
He sighed and shoved his hands in his coat pocket.
“Hey man, I’m trying to make you laugh, make you a bit more lighthearted you know?”
He nudged his head towards the fire.
“It’s like a school campfire when you think about it, just a couple times bigger is all. No one is burning in there you know; they were given proper warning in advance.”
I said nothing and turned back to look at the flames eating away at what was once known as the biggest city in the world.
“Still, it amazes me how something like this could happen you know? God knows how many years of hard work and labor went up in flames. Who could do such a thing? What mentally ill motherfucker would think of such a thing?”
He fell into silence as the cold air desperately tried to hush the roaring of the flames. He then pointed towards his hidden face.
“Ah. It was me.”
I turned my body to look at him. He did the same.
“You know, I’m surprised I was able to pull it off, but I’m even more surprised of the reason why I did it. I really want to explain it, but its real hard to put it into words you know?”
He tapped his foot lightly on the ground.
“No… it’s more like I’m afraid of putting it into words because I know no one else would understand.”
He was still facing me, his furry hood still covering his face.
“But you’ll understand. I know you will.”
A chill ran up my spine, but it wasn’t from the cold.
“The world is big. Really big. There are a lot of things going on in it and around it. Things that are minor and insignificant as well as things that are major enough to change the world. At one point in time, I wanted to know everything that went on in the world, both the big and little things, thinking about how much more I would appreciate the people, the cultures, and the big things and little things we were doing that made the world the world. Do you know what I found out?”
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He threw his hands into the sky.
“The world is one sick, sad place to be in. Every day I would learn from the man on the TV about all the wars, all the murders, all the terrorism and injustices that were committed day after day after day. That I’m a victim and should always stay that way. Every day I would learn from the bird on the computer screen how easily people will rip and tear each other to pieces without remorse then preach about love and forgiveness the next day. How much grief my existence brings people, that everything I am is toxic and disparaging to others because I was born with an X and a Y and nothing else. Every day I would learn from the other men on the red video site that we are born with nothing to fight for, nothing to strive for and that there were countless other men like me who were isolated with demons of self-hatred, mental illness and loneliness, many of which would lose their battle and end their own lives.”
The cold air and roaring fire became distant as I heard the man bare his heart out.
“Do you know what learning all of that did to me? Do you know where that put me?”
He lowered his arms in defeat.
“It put me into an abyss with fear as my chain. Fear of people in the high and low places of life. Fear of expressing myself. Fear of emotional intimacy. Fear of rejection. Fear of taking risks. Fear of making the wrong step, the wrong move, the wrong decision. Fear of living life.”
He clenched his fists tightly.
“During those days you wasted your life worrying about all the kinds of terrible things that would happen in your life. No, you fantasized about them because that’s what you believed you deserved. You didn’t move, you didn’t do anything meaningful, you didn’t do anything purposeful.”
He pointed at me.
“Until you met me. To be honest at first, I really didn’t like you. You moped around and had no assertiveness, no will, no conviction. But what put us together was one thing and one thing alone. Resentment towards the state of the world and yourself. You made me and I built you to what you wanted to be. You stopped living in fear, stopped caring about the future and all the possibilities that came with it and began living life for the first time. It was hard, scary even. But you pulled through with my help, my guidance.”
He started to walk towards me.
“You became strong, confident and willing. You started doing things that seemed impossible to you back when you were chained. You persevered and endured through all the shit life threw at you. Through all that pain you came to a realization.”
He stopped a couple feet from where I was.
“Conflict is purpose.”
He stamped his foot on the ground.
“Conflict is what makes us grow, if there’s no conflict, no enemy, no war, then there’s no meaning, no drive to improve ourselves. We needed an enemy, one that would give us a fight for the rest of our lives.”
He turned towards the burning city that was once known as the biggest entertainment hub in the world.
“And what greater enemy would there be other than the man on the TV, the bird on the computer screen, the red video site, the media, the world as we know it? They didn’t care about us, only their stupid agendas and how much they could line their pockets at the expense and lives of others. So many of us were chained by unending negativity, fear, and self-hatred towards ourselves and what the world really was because of them. So you decided to burn their world down to see the real one.”
The flames continued to roar with no end in sight to their fury.
“Still, there’s a lot left we have to do. Even if we burn it all down, they’ll just rebuild bigger than ever. Even if we cut off all the corrupt heads of the hydra, they’ll just grow more heads, more lies. It seems hopeless right? They can just rebuild their false world over and over again, but we’ll tear and burn it down as long as we have the breath and strength to do so. This is our eternal fight, the purpose we chose, the meaning we’ll have. Fortunately, we’re not alone in this fight.”
He clapped his hands. Out of the flames came men in black suits and red ties, their faces covered by a variety of different masks.
“They were just like you, you saved them from a lonely and meaningless end. You have a family and a purpose now. Your free buddy, free to live life the way you want it.”
“Boss?”
I turned from the broken mirror to face my men.
“Let’s move gentlemen. We still have a lot left to do.”