IT WAS CLEARLY going to be weeks before any decision would be taken about the return trip to Enceladus—but before long Vikki had another matter to think about. Something that would make it harder for her to get a place on the mission.

She and Hal had decided to move in together. She did not want to stay where she had lived beforehand, in the suburbs of Los Angeles—and Hal was especially eager to return to his beloved Scotland—although not too close to where Moira his estranged wife lived. So they bought a modest cottage a few miles outside Stirling, on the edge of the Highlands. Much of their time there, in the first few weeks, they spent hiking and climbing some of the ‘easier’ Munros. Also Hal insisted on showing Vikki around nearby Doune Castle, the setting for the Monty Python movie he’d joked about—so long ago it seemed now! They found time for an outing to Loch Ness and the visitor centre there—but no ‘monster’ showed up for them. They had a good laugh about that: Vikki wondered whether to proclaim to other visitors at the centre, that she’d actually conversed with a real live monster, out in space...

But common-sense prevailed: after all everything about the Bala was still Top Secret. And Vikki was longing for the day when she’d have a chance to meet up with it again—if that day ever came.

Then she discovered that she was going to have a baby.

This wasn’t according to plan. She and Hal had taken precautions, but evidently they weren’t careful enough. What was she to do? While the prospect of motherhood thrilled her to bits, at the same time, how on earth could she take a tiny baby on a space voyage?

When she broke the news to Hal, he was about to erupt in raptures of delight—but he checked himself when he saw the troubled expression on her face.

“What’s wrong, my darling? Aren’t you pleased?”

“Of course I’m pleased,” replied Vikki, but the tone in her voice conveyed a different message. Hal didn’t miss the implication.

“You don’t sound it, Vikki, my love. Is it because of Enceladus—of Bala?”

It was a long time before Vikki spoke. Tears were starting in her eyes.

“Oh Hal, my love, I so wanted to be on that return trip! It would have meant everything to me. But how can I now, with a child to bring up?” And with that she burst into an uncontrollable flood of tears. “What am I to do?” she whined pitifully, between sobs. At length the sobs became less frequent. “Of course I’d love to have a little one to look after!” she continued. “Don’t imagine that I’m not thrilled about that—even if it wasn’t what we were prepared for. I’m torn in two over this!”

“We must think about this,” said Hal, trying to sound reassuring. “Anyway, none of the crew for the second trip have been chosen yet. You might have been left out of the team anyway.”

Vikki had stopped crying altogether. Now she sounded annoyed. “Hal, how could you say such a thing? So you think I’m not good enough for the team? Is that it?” She was almost shouting as she said this.

“I never said that, darling. Just that others—those big-shots we met at the meeting: Duke and his buddies—they may take a different view. We can’t be sure.”

“Would you go, Hal, if they choose you and not me? Leave me on my own, earthbound?”

“Of course not. Where you go, I go. I want to be with you, what­ever happens.”

“I want to talk to Alex. Sorry Hal—I’m not shutting you out, but I think I need a woman’s input. And she’s the only one left...”

Late that evening, Vikki tried putting through a call to Alex, who had returned to her home in Brookings, Oregon. But her holophone returned the Do Not Disturb message. Vikki tried again the following day, and then the day after, but with the same result. Finally on the fourth day, Alex answered. She looked upset, and although her wife was mostly out-of-frame, Vikki could see a comforting arm over Alex’s shoulders. Something was wrong, Vikki guessed. Should she wait, or should she put her predicament straight out?

It was Alex who broke the silence. She brightened up somewhat when she saw it was Vikki. “What can I do for you?” she asked.

Vikki explained the situation briefly.

“Ah! I see congratulations are in order,” was Alex’s response. “All the best wishes to both of you. Is that Hal standing behind you?—I can only see a bit of him.”

“But Alex—this means—”

“So you can’t go on the return mission: that’s what you’re trying to tell me. And you think you’re the only one with problems? I can’t go, either.”

“Oh Alex! I didn’t know! Whyever not?”

“Just had my medical. It turned up a slight heart murmur. Nothing life-threatening, they assure me—but I’m grounded.”

“Oh no Alex! I’m ever so sorry. I shouldn’t have—” Vikki broke off in embarrassment.

“ ‘Shouldn’t have told me you’re having a baby’? Of course you should. I’m delighted to hear it. Really I am. But Vikki, the mission can’t take off for over a year, when we get a suitable launch window. That’s what Joachim tells me. There’s plenty of time to work things out. For you I mean—not for me. Whatever happens, I’m fucked. No way they’ll let me go into space again.”

“Yes, Alex, I’m so very sorry to hear that. But: ‘work things out’! Yes, I suppose there are plenty of things we could ‘work out’. I could have an abortion. Or a miscarriage” Vikki intoned all this in a dead­pan voice.

There was no reaction from Alex. She just stared at Vikki, lost for words. Then she was gently eased to one side and another, consider­ably younger woman moved into frame. She was very attractive, with long dark hair and somewhat elfin features. Vikki thought she looked a bit like her.

“Hello Vikki,” the newcomer began. “We haven’t met. I’m Jocelyn—but everyone calls me Jo. Alex’s partner.” “Wife!” Vikki could hear Alex hiss, off-screen. “OK: wife,” continued Jo. “Yes, we’ve been together for many years now. Please, Vikki, Alex and I both implore you, don’t visit those dark places in your mind! Yes, it’s been hard for Alex, quite a shock to both of us. And you’re in a turmoil too: I can see that. You must take your time thinking about things. And believe me, there are options. We have a little girl of our own. My child. Alex had to leave her alone with me, several times. In fact, I’ll introduce you. Terri!” she shouted, off-screen. “Are you up yet? Come down here, please darling, will you?”

There was a pause, then a little girl of about six years, equally as pretty as her mother and also with long dark hair, appeared. She was dressed in pyjamas.

“Terri, this is Vikki on the holo. One of the ladies who went on the space trip with Mom Alex. Say hello to her.”

“Hello, Auntie Vikki,” intoned Terri, shyly.

Vikki replied “Hello Terri.” She couldn’t think what else to say, but she was charmed. “She’s adorable,” she added, once Terri had scampered off. “Is she your only one?”

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

“Yes,” replied Jo. “I know Terri would love to have a little brother or sister, but I’m too old.”

“Too old? Surely not!”

“Yes. At thirty-eight, I’m too old, so I’ve been told. They won’t offer AI at my age.”

Vikki began to wonder what Jo was implying by mentioning that. Was she suggesting...? Best to keep her thoughts to herself.

“Listen, Vikki,” continued Jo, “we’ll have to disconnect now. I have to get breakfast and then get Terri ready for school. But do please take time to think things over. Bringing a child into the world is a wonderful thing. I should know!”

---§§§---

There was indeed plenty of time for Vikki to collect her thoughts. As soon as Alex and Jo were offline, she remembered that she hadn’t even told her parents, back in LA—nor her brother in Phoenix. Was it the right time of day to call them, she wondered? But she and her brother were slightly estranged. He had got married during the time Vikki was incarcerated—and she hadn’t been able to go to the wedding. Indeed she hadn’t even been invited. All she knew was, that she’d never met her sister-in-law and knew next to nothing about her.

Well, there was at least one duty to perform. Vikki put through a call to LA.

Her mother answered the holophone almost at once. As soon as she heard Vikki’s news, she came close to going into hysterics. But she retained enough composure to yell for her husband.

“Andy! Come here at once! It’s Vikki on the line. We’re going to be grandparents, Andy!”

There was a sound of footsteps, and then Vikki’s dad was there in the frame.

“Well done, Vikki. You’ve done us proud. We only wish Peter and Louise would hurry up and do us the same favour.”

“Give them a chance, Dad,” protested Vikki. “They’ve only been married a few months. And they’ve both got their jobs to keep them busy.”

Now her mother stepped in again. “Vikki, you will take care, won’t you, darling? Isn’t it rather cold where you’re living now? Scotland! You must keep warm. And all those mountains! You mustn’t overdo things, my dear—there are two lives to consider.”

“Mother, it’s the middle of July. It’s quite warm here at present. And Scotland isn’t Siberia. We’re quite civilised here, you know.”

“Yes, dear, but—surely life is more comfortable in California...?”

Vikki gave a sigh. She knew she’d never been able to win an argument with Mother. They kept up the bickering for several minutes more, Mother not letting up until she’d elicited a promise from Vikki to invite them to Scotland before the due date.

After the call was ended, Vikki couldn’t help wondering how she’d fit her parents in. Their cottage was rather small, with just two bedrooms. Ah well—there’d be time to think about things like that once the baby’s delivery approached.

If she kept the baby, that is—

No! Vikki couldn’t even think about the possibility of not going to term. Not without a shudder. She wasn’t in league with those anti-abortion activists who would still sometimes pop up, illegally, and harass women on their way to the clinic—but she did feel that terminating was tantamount to destroying a life—even if it was only a latent life. No: she couldn’t do it. Anyway, she felt some sense of elation at the thought of bringing a life into the world, after the horror and remorse of witnessing a life being taken from the world.

Vikki did not let her mind dwell on that awful memory constantly, but there were still times when she would wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare: a nightmare in which she was once again standing confronting a heap of bones lying on a desolate icy surface. Sometimes the bones would magically assemble themselves into a complete skeleton which would rise up and rush at her. Like in those old first-person-shooter games—but this was too real... In her fright, she would clutch at Hal beside her, seeking reassurance, but often enough he would merely grunt and then go back to sleep.

Would she ever get over it?

--§§§---

The holo-call came as a complete surprise; and something of a shock. Vikki was now almost halfway through her pregnancy and her ‘bump’ was showing nicely. The buzzer sounded in mid-morning. Hal was out at work—he had been reinstated as space mining instructor with some restrictions placed on him—and Vikki was alone in the house. On the holo there was the figure of a strange woman in early middle-age, elegantly dressed and made up—but she didn’t look like a journalist (Vikki had been warned to stay clear of the Press). She looked rather solemn and distressed. Then Vikki noticed the text beneath the holo, showing where the call came from. It was Toulouse. And the caller’s name looked French.

Already guessing what this might be about, she pressed accept.

“Hello: is that Dr Viktoriya Rozhkova?” The caller spoke perfect English but with a marked French accent. Vikki nodded, too sur­prised to speak. “You don’t know me: I’m Hélène Calvet. Murielle d’Anterre’s sister. I expect you can guess why I’m calling.”

Vikki found her voice at last. “How did you get my address?” she couldn’t help blurting out. Did that sound rude? she wondered—but it was too late.

Hélène was unperturbed though. “Oh, your mission commander Alex Zygmond gave it to me—not before a lot of badgering though. I hope you don’t mind. I really do want to talk to you. I understand that you were the last person to see my sister alive, were you?”

“That is correct,” replied Vikki, dully. She did not feel disposed to elaborate. Hélène appeared to sense her unease.

“I am really sorry to have to bother you like this, Dr Rozhkova—”

“Oh please, call me Vikki.” Trying to buy time while she agonised as to what she could tell her.

“As I said, Vikki, I am really sorry, but I am trying to get the answers to some serious questions.”

“And you are Murielle’s only next-of-kin, I guess?”

“There is only myself, my husband and children, and my father. Murielle was une divorcée, you must know, and she had no children. Her ex-husband came to the funeral, but even he wasn’t told any­thing. Alex didn’t tell us much. All she said was that Murielle died because of a space-suit malfunction, and that SSSA are investigating. SSSA have told us nothing more. We were not even allowed to see poor Murielle! The coffin was sealed when we received it. Alex said that the body was too disfigured to show. I am sure that was a kindness on her part, but Papa and I would still have wished to offer our adieux. Please can you tell us any more about it? I know that space exposure can do things to the human body, but we would have been prepared for that. Please, Vikki...!”

Vikki hesitated for a long time. She could hardly admit that all that remained of Murielle was a dismembered skeleton! And she knew that, melodramatic accounts in pulp fiction notwithstanding, vacuum exposure did not lead to much visible disfigurement of the human body, beyond a certain degree of bloating. But she was not much good at lying. Best to tell as much of the truth as she was able to.

“I wish I could tell you more, Hélène, but I’m not allowed to. Some of the happenings during our mission are being kept secret. Not my secret! What I can say is, yes, I was with Murielle on her last EVA, and her space-suit got ruptured somehow—how, I don’t know: I wasn’t near her at the time. By the time I got to her, it was too late.” Well—that was true enough, if rather an understatement, Vikki thought—seeing as all she found was a skeleton. “But I’m sure Murielle died quickly and suffered very little,” Vikki continued. “I wish I could help you more, but I can’t.”

Hélène looked upset at Vikki’s response: she said nothing but her facial expression told volumes. Vikki wondered if she was about to burst into tears. This was certainly a tough holo-call to get through, and Vikki was now wondering if she had done better not to accept it. But at that moment a man appeared beside Hélène in the holo: pre­sumably her husband. He looked fairly composed by comparison.

“Don’t worry,” he said, “it is not your fault, and this has been a difficult time for all of us. Hélène will be all right. But answer me one question: did you meet with aliens? ETs? Were they respons­ible?”

Had he guessed something? Vikki could not speak: she just shook her head: then she broke the connection. She could take no more of this. To her relief Hélène did not call back. Vikki hoped she was satisfied—and if her husband was about to spread rumours, he’d soon be stamped upon.

--§§§---

As things turned out, no rumours about ETs erupted—and there were no more ‘awkward’ moments during the following months, much to both Vikki’s and Hal’s relief. Alex called several times to ask how she was doing; also Vikki’s parents—but Mother was not as overbearing as Vikki had feared. Her bouts of morning-sickness soon subsided, and all seemed well with the baby.

It was a cold blustery day in early March, with sleet falling outside, when Vikki was safely delivered of a healthy three-and-a-half kilo baby girl. She and Hal had had a bit of a friendly argument about names: Hal at first wanted to bestow upon her a traditional Scottish name like ‘Eilidh’—but Vikki protested that no-one would know how to pronounce it.

In the end they settled for ‘Lorna’.