Katsumi left school as quickly as possible each day, so by the time Enmei successfully intercepted her, three days had passed since her presentation. He caught her by the shoe lockers in the lower south entrance as everyone else filed out of school for the weekend.

“Kanbe-san! Hey–”

She spun, eyeing him warily. Enmei winced. Not the response he had wanted. She looked like a rabbit ready to bolt from a potential predator. An awkward silence followed as Enmei scrambled for what he had been planning to say. But it was Katsumi who broke the silence first.

“What did you think about my interpretation of the equation?” she said, breaking eye contact, her fingers playing with the straps of her school bag. “I realize I didn’t explain anything that well. I was short on time, and I doubt the teacher would have let me talk for much longer. I don’t think most of the class understood me.”

Enmei stared dumbfounded at her. Of course they didn’t, he thought, you were expecting them to?

“Yeah, I mean, that’s what I wanted to talk about, actually,” Enmei said. “I admit, I didn’t really get the equation either.”

“Huh?” Katsumi blurted, “But you’re so smart!”

Is she . . . actually an idiot?

“No.” Enmei shook his head slowly. “Compared to you, I’m like a first grader. I've been looking into Shannon’s equation after school – that’s college level statistics, Kanbe-san. It’s insane that you can understand math like that. And apply it too?”

Katsumi turned away, covering her face with her hands. Not good with praise, huh.

She spun back before Enmei could say anything more. “So?”

“So?”

“Why did you come up and talk to me?”

“Uh, why? Well, because . . .” Because I want to be friends, obviously. “Because . . . I wanted a better explanation of the equation. I studied it for hours, and I still can’t get my head around it. There’s just so many components, I-I don’t even know how to solve a logarithm.”

“That’s pre-calculus . . .”

“Which we have not been taught yet!”

She giggled. “So? I would’ve thought someone as smart as you would have started studying past the curriculum by now.”

“I . . . am planning to.”

“It’s alright. I’ll give you an explanation. Hashimoto Sensei will probably lend us his classroom if we ask.” She darted past Enmei with an excited smile. Then she stopped, turning back slowly. “By the way, I didn’t bring lunch today,” she said apologetically, “Do you have anything to eat?”

*****

The next three years were decidedly the happiest in Enmei’s life. It was during this time that Enmei discovered how easily new concepts found their way into his brain, how quickly he could consume textbooks on physics, biology, organic chemistry, and once the foundations of his understanding had been laid, he realized that he had inadvertently come to understand every concept the Japanese high school curriculum could throw at him. He took the national college exams for the fun of it, and because Katsumi was too. She beat him by two points the first year, but ever since they’d both made consistently perfect scores.

So at fourteen, Enmei moved onto more complex sciences, following the footsteps of Katsumi’s mind. Atmospheric chemistry, exoplanet research, nucleosynthesis, String Theory, quantum gravity and Field Theory – the world was an infinite wealth of scientific knowledge, all at his disposal. Enmei felt pure elation as he won debate after debate in national competitions. He felt pride seeing the awards piled around his desk at his aunt’s house, and greater pride anytime Katsumi overcame her embarrassment to compliment him.

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He discovered independence when he moved into his own apartment in his last year of middle school, just after Katsumi moved into her own.

But most of all, he learned how special it was to have a companion at his side – to compete with, to marvel at and strive to stand beside. He didn’t deny it was frustrating at times. Her, always two steps ahead of him, always finding the new formulae to discuss, new concepts to contemplate. But someday he would stand beside her. Someday, she would finally recognize him as an equal.

In their first year of high school, she published a research paper in a prestigious magazine read by the country’s best minds. The country’s best minds took notice of her, and everything changed. She was offered a special position at Tokyo University – part student, part consultant to the professors, working on the frontlines of science and mathematics. She was whisked away from Toin Academy to University, leaving Enmei behind.

Enmei tried to follow, of course. He wasn’t one to give up so easily. He talked with teachers, sent messages, manipulated connections – it all ended with a discussion in the Student Dean’s office. How had it gone again?

“Katsumi was the first exception we’ve made to that rule in twenty years,” the Student Dean was saying, “I am very sorry, Enmei-kun, but you must understand. Having another student skip grades or graduate prematurely, especially so soon after Katsumi . . . it would bring into question the academic rigor of our curriculum. Do you understand, Enmei?”

Enmei said he understood.

“Are you alright with that, Enmei?”

Enmei said he was alright, said that he would continue to cry his hardest in the coming years. He had kept that promise. He had no shortage of accomplishments in the last two years. But as the gap between him and Katsumi widened, he realized something very simple. Compared to Katsumi, he wasn’t much of anything special after all.

I will kill myself tonight.

But it was that thought that snapped him back to reality. His eyes widened, and he finally noticed the wetness of the tears on his cheeks, the ragged nature of his breath.

How long had he been crying by the door for, caught in the past, unaware of his body?

More importantly, he had actually thought that. He had honestly considered ending it all. Enmei giggled hysterically. What a ridiculous thought that was. After all the work he had put in, how could he let it end with something so trivial? The chase was over, yes, but hadn’t it been so for years? He had really just been lying to himself all this time, saying that with just a little more effort, more persistence, he could reach her. Now he could see those delusional thoughts for what they were. It was refreshing, in a way.

He wouldn’t stand beside her, but that was alright. She was alive in this city with him. She was still a part of his world.

As if in answer to the thought, a notification pinged on Enmei’s optical interface. Katsumi. Enmei sent a mental command to the interface, and the message appeared in the air before him.

→ How did it go?

He thought about leaving the message on read. But no, that would be cruel.

No luck ←

Enmei sat back, slouched against the door, hands limp in his lap as he waited for her response. He was calm now. Calm enough, at least. His breathing slowly returned to a normal rate of inhale, exhale, inhale. The only other sound was the electric whine of the condominium’s ventilation system.

Now all that filled him was an overwhelming tiredness. Enmei’s eyes shot downward as his interface pinged again.

→ My colleague was working on a new concept in fractal Brownian motion today.

→ You like probability theory right?

→ I found it quite interesting. Do you want to come over and talk it out?

Enmei smiled. Katsumi was a strange one, alright. Either she didn’t know how to console someone directly, or she found the action too embarrassing. Probably a mix of both. Normally, he would have delighted in having such a conversation with her. But no, not with today’s events. He felt better than before, but all Enmei wanted then was to be alone.

Sorry ←

idk if have space in my head rn for mathematics ←

He stood, stripping off his jacket and casting it into the apartment. He had two fingers into the heel on his dress shoe when his interface buzzed again. He sighed, looked.

→ I didn’t eat dinner today.

It was 7:32. He had been pestering her for years about keeping a healthy meal schedule. During their school days together he had always brought her lunch, but now her work often had her at Tokyo University theorizing with professors for hours without a break. She could skip several meals in a row when she was immersed in her own head. Besides, Enmei knew she was too lazy to make food for herself. School lunches had evolved to full course dinners at her apartment, often without her prompting.

Fine then. Either he could wallow in his own defeat and Katsumi would miss another meal, or . . .

In the end, it was the idea of Katsumi going hungry that decided things.

I’d say there’s a good chance you’re thinking yakisoba ←

I’ll get some from the store ←

→ Thank you.

Be there in twenty or so ←