I died.

The moment that drunkard grasped my arms, my fate was sealed.

It was ironic that my death was like my father's. Killed in an act of revenge during peacetime.

Now, I was standing in the middle of the abbys.

"So the cycle continued, and all the death I saw and caused was for nothing." I thought to myself.

There was no doubt my country would retaliate to that, and another war would start.

New 'heroes' would emerge and die in the name of nothing.

"And this is, is this the afterlife?" My mind was in scrambles, but. "It is quiet."

*Whoosh

"Is that?"

The sound of wind broke the absolute nothingness.

And soon, my other sensory feelings start coming one by one. First, I felt a sharp, cold stroke on my skin, then the smell of pine filled my nose, and finally, I opened my eyes.

"Inside a forest. Did I not die? Did they drag my body here?" I questioned.

No, it didn't matter. I was somewhat alive. My first instinct was to check my pockets to see if they left anything I had with me before.

"My watch, lighter, and my wallet. Fuck, my phone is gone."

At least I had something with me.

"But this cold." I hadn't noticed because of the shock, but it was cold outside.

My hands had already turned red, and I assumed my face was the same.

"Find a shelter first, then search for help. And there could be enemies near by-"

I stopped. My heart stopped. Everything stopped.

The world around me lost its colors until everything turned black and white.

A square, semi-transparent sign appeared in front of me. It glowed blue in this colorless world.

[Do you want to survive Y/Y]

"Of course," I thought, but lots of questions appeared in my mind.

"What happened? Why does it feel like time stopped, and what is this thing?"

[Do you want to survive Y/Y] Another sign appeared.

And more appeared, one after another, until they surrounded me.

I smirked, or so I thought I did. I still couldn't control my body.

"Unfortunately, that's something I am good at, even if I don't want to. Yes-"

[Do you want to be free?] A new sign appeared before my face, blocking my view from all the others.

It had less glow than others, and its color was more feint, not to mention it was glitching.

"Free? I rather be free than alive."

All other signs disappeared, including the feint one, then one more appeared. [Good luck!]

"Good luck what-" I regained control of my body but flopped and fell to the ground.

"My view, what-"

The world was swirling around me. My limbs had lost all their strength.

***

"Do you know what a survivor's guilt is, Erwin?" Martin asked.

"Wait, how?" I was just in that forest, and now I was inside his office, lying on the therapist's couch.

I jumped out of the couch and tried to grab Martin.

But he vanished the moment I touched him.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

"Martin!" I shouted while looking around to find him.

"Survivor guilt is a response to an event in which someone else experienced loss, but you did not. Tell me, captain, how many soldiers you lost?" His voice echoed inside my head despite his absence.

"Including the permanently disabled because of the wounds, ten," I said as I sat back on the couch.

He reappeared, this time surrounded by ghosts of the men I once commanded. "And if you could, would you sacrifice your life for one of them to live healthily and happily?"

"I would," I answered with no hesitation.

"And what if I said you could have saved more by sacrificing one of them?"

"I- I." I didn't know.

"Think about that until our next session." He vanished, and so did the entire office.

***

I opened my eyes once more in the forest.

Some snow had already piled over me. But weirdly, I didn't feel as cold as before.

"This is all a play of my mind," I said as I pushed myself from the ground. "Let's focus on finding a shelter."

Without a second doubt, I delved into the forest, still careful and slow to avoid possible enemies lurking inside.

"Pine trees twice the size with four times the diameter. These are new to me." I mumbled as I moved between the giant trees.

"And this slippery ground." I was fortunate that I had worn boots today.

After some walking, I found what appeared to be a small cave in a small opening free of trees.

"Looks good enough, but," I searched my surroundings to find something like a club and grabbed a rather large branch. "I prefer not to be a wolf or bear food."

I tried to hide my scent by applying pine cones and leaves to my body, then began my move.

Slowly but steadily, I approached the cave.

It had a small entrance but was rather large on the inside.

"Let's see if you have any surprises for me."

I entered the cave, and to my luck, it was empty, no remnants or anything.

"Jackpot."

I sat down on the ground and gathered some breath.

"Firewood, I need something to lit on fire."

I got back up and moved to the forest once more.

"There is snow everywhere. It won't be easy to find dry wood," I mumbled. "My grandpa said to look for dead plants."

I left my cave to scavenge and picked a sharp stone on my way out from the ground.

"The last thing I want is to get lost, and I doubt trees will mind some markings. Though any enemy can also track me nearby." I stopped for a second. "I prefer fighting over being lost with no shelter."

So I walked deeper into the forest, snapping dead branches from trees and gathering whatever dry wood I encountered.

"A dead bush." I smiled, "Hopefully, you have no poison." I approached the plant and began digging towards its roots with my hands.

After a while, I grabbed it from its branches and pulled it out. It cut my hands, but not deep enough to bleed it. "You have to do to hurt these hands I abused for years in the field. They went numb years ago."

Some struggle later, I managed to pull it out of the ground and add it to my stack of firewood.

"Now, to carry all of this."

I pulled out my coat, turned it into a makeshift basket-like thingy, and put whatever food I gathered in it, then moved back to my shelter, following the path I carved.

"Now, let's make a fire."

Inside the cave was a no, so I decided to build my fire outside. I cleared some snow, dug a little hole, and made a campfire.

I grabbed some cash from my wallet and added it to the woodpile. "No use for you if I don't survive." And thanks to my lighter, the fire started with ease.

Not long after, I had a warm fire, protecting me from the snow.

"Now, I should rest. I can go out and look for food and water later."

"At worst, I can melt and filter snow, and I am not hungry now." I thought, ignoring my dire situation for a decent nap.

***

*Crunch

I opened my eyes to the sound of someone walking in the snow and slowly got up from my corner.

"Somethings near."

*Crunch

Sound got louder.

"It is walking towards here."

I approached the cave entrance and peeked outside.

A humanoid figure was approaching. It was holding a torch, but heavy snow was hiding its details.

I waited a bit more until I got sure it was unarmed, then exited the cave with a smile.

"Friend! You don't know how happy I am to see another human here! Are you lost too, or part of a rescue team or something." I shouted.

But it didn't answer me, just kept approaching.

"Look, I know this is sudden, and the situation here is bad, but I prefer you talk."

Again, it didn't answer.

When it finally got close enough.

"No way." I stumbled and took a step back.

"A skeleton. Just like in movies and games."

Except for some tissue binding its bones, had no flesh or organs.

"Ha! Is my brain playing another game with me?" I moved deeper into the cave hiding my presence, but the skeleton kept coming towards me.

It was wearing a fur jacket, and when it entered the cave, it pulled out a rusted iron mace under it and began charging towards me.

I, for a moment, stopped and breathed.

"It doesn't matter whatever you are, survival comes first."

I grabbed a rock from the ground and threw it towards the skeleton's head.

When it hit, it shook the monster briefly. This small opening allowed me to rush forward and tackle the skeleton down.

Compared to some bones, my flesh and blood body had more weight and easily knocked the monster down.

Skeleton dropped the torch but hung on the mace.

It tried to hit me with it, but I grabbed its hand pulled the mace from its hands, and raised to the air.

"Let's start from the skull."

I bashed the mace down to the skeleton's head.

It cracked the skull.

Skeleton tried to stop me, but it was weak compared to me.

"And another one!" I shouted and landed another hit.

Skeleton tried to claw me with its fingers, but my clothes stopped it.

"And one more." My third attack finally fractured the skull.

The struggling monster suddenly stopped all movements.

And that faint box appeared in front of me.

[Congrulations! You survived the first day! Rewards tomorrow!]

"Ha ha ha!" I dropped the mace. "Am I not going mad? Is this reality? Or had I already gone mad, and this was my purgatory inside my head."

I didn't know back then.

But it was all real. The screen, the monsters, and this world, that I am not a native of.