> I'm a bit of a voyeur. I love watching cocky, unprepared fools try to launch themselves up the poker mountain. Can you guess what happens to them? In almost every case, there's only one result—shot down by a landslide, crushed by boulders formed of their own arrogance. Some call it a tragic sight. Well, that's not how it looks from my perspective...but maybe that's because I'm at the top, shovel in one hand, camera in the other.

Joey was walking to Pocket Rockets. It was a big day today, one he had been working towards for a long time, and he was excited. He suddenly felt the urge to pump himself up. "Time to level up!!!"

"Aaah!!!" Some old man who was turning the corner had been nearly scared to death, yelping due to Joey's sudden shout.

"Wish me luck old man!"

...

The cards had been very good to Joey the past month. He ran very well and his bankroll doubled. It was finally big enough that he could move up stakes to 5-10. That meant many things to him: higher potential profit, new players, new challenges, but also more risk. Joey had worked hard to get to this point and couldn't help feeling slightly nervous.

'What's there to be nervous about? I've been playing and studying just for this moment. I just need to do use all the skills I've developed.' He squeezed his fists and encouraged himself. "You've got this!!!"

"Shut up!!! I was dreaming of Kate Beckinsale! She finally took it off, bastard!"

Some hidden homeless man was having a sex dream on the sidewalk, awakened by Joey's yell.

...

He walked up the usual stairs to Pocket Rockets. Charlie greeted him at the door. "Hey! Joey!"

It took over a month, but even Charlie had finally warmed up to Joey. It wasn't difficult either. When Charlie was dealing, Joey tipped him a dollar when he won a hand. That's it, pretty normal, but that's all it took. If you put enough dollars in, Charlie would be nicer to you. It was like putting quarters in an arcade game or brushing favorability with an NPC.

To be fair, there were some players that didn't tip as much or even tipped nothing whatsoever. Tipping was technically optional after all. However, as a dealer himself, Joey understood the pain of that game, so he always took care of his "brothers in the union."

"There's a seat open in 2-5. You want it?" Charlie asked.

"Not today Charles. Today's my day to level up." Joey grinned confidently.

"What, you got yourself a Tamagotchi? Or one of them GameBoys?"

"Nope. 5-10, I'm going to take a stab."

Charlie nodded his head in appreciation. "Alright kid, if anyone should be moving up, it's you. It's a good thing too, give those poor souls in 2-5 a chance to eat."

When you run well for long enough, people notice. Joey had been developing a reputation as a crusher in the 2-5 game, and even the 5-10 players couldn't help but notice when a 2-5 player had a mountain of chips in front of him regularly.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Joey was about to go and put his name on the 5-10 list but someone stopped him first.

"You come in and go sign up without even saying hi to me first? Hmph." Ellie pouted.

She liked to try to trip him up, but Joey had all the bases covered. "Business before pleasure. Besides, I want you to play and win more so I can force you to pay for our dates." In poker, as in life, it was important to have a sound financial plan and streams of passive income.

"Tch. Idiot!" Ellie slapped his shoulder, then gave him a hug and a peck on the lips. This past month, poker wasn't the only thing Joey had progressed in. Their relationship had developed as well. They would go on dates when they weren't playing poker and even spend their idle time in Pocket Rockets constantly chatting together.

One of the reasons Joey had been doing so well recently is that some of the bigger fools would see him with Ellie and actually rage, spewing off chips to him as a result of random pangs of jealousy. If Joey learned anything, it was that dating the prettiest girl in the poker room came with unexpected benefits.

From now on, if anyone called Joey shallow for dating only pretty girls, he could draw them a line graph of his bankroll. He would carefully show them the point where the line broke upwards and how it corresponded to a key moment: when he started dating Ellie and some jealous spew -monkeys bled themselves dry in an effort to beat him. Joey wasn't shallow, he was a pragmatic investor.

Privately, however, he had to admit Ellie's long legs and curves drove him wild. There was just one issue. Ellie knew how to dress stylishly in a way he found very attractive, but that was only until you got to her head. For example, today, she wore a green winter hat with large frog eyes on top. It's not that he didn't support her exploring her creativity and independence, it's more that he didn't want to make out with Kermit.

It's like she was possessed by some kind of hat demon or something. Joey shook his head. 'Whatever, everyone has their kinks.' At least, he had a way to deal with it. He discovered another use of the visualization technique he practiced at the poker table, the one when he would view some players as ducks or watermelon-heads. Joey closed his eyes.

When he opened them, Ellie's frog ears were gone and she was wearing a normal green beanie. 'Ah, that's better.' This was Joey's version of beer goggles.

One had to admire the power of the imagination as everything came full circle. Ellie looked at him with her big eyes. "Is it today?"

Joey smiled then put on a serious face. "Today's the day your man argues for his promotion."

Ellie giggled. "Are you ready?"

Joey narrowed his eyes. "I have photos of the boss cheating on his wife and poisoned all my competing coworkers to have diarrhea. I've got this."

*Pfft*

"Ok. I know you can do it." She gazed deeply into his eyes.

Joey felt her emotions. 'She really believes in me...When's the last time anyone's believed in me besides mom? I can't disappoint her.' His gaze grew firm and he made a fist. Feeling super pumped up, he slammed it against the wall.

"Aaahh!!! Damn it! I'm on the John! Wait your turn!"

Joey accidentally hit the bathroom door, startling a lost soul on the toilet.

...

"Joey!" A staff member yelled to him from across the room.

"Yea?" Joey responded.

The staff member was holding a list in front of him. "You're up! You want the 5-10 seat?"

It was Joey's time. "Lock it up!"

Joey looked at Ellie. "Ok stinky cooties girl, get back to your game, I need to concentrate." He playfully shooed her away, squeezing her hand before she left to let her know he appreciated her encouragement.

Joey bought chips as he scanned the 5-10 table he would be joining. The chips on the table, twice as many as he was used to. The players, twice as good. Double the potential profit, and double the risk. He could get unlucky in one hour and lose what he worked to gain over many days at the smaller stakes. That was the name of the beast known as "moving up."

Almost everyone who took a step like this felt nervous during their first bigger session and that included Joey. He'd played at these stakes before in short heads up matches, but that was when he was stupid and fearless. Being fresh and ignorant has the benefit of not understanding the danger, like a hopeful animal lover in a cage with a cute tiger. That wasn't the case anymore, but he had new weapons in his arsenal now: experience and preparation.

Joey sat down in his seat. He put down his chips and organized them. Finally, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

*Exhale*

When his eyes opened, he didn't see the bigger risk anymore, nor better players. All he saw was a bunch of chips in different colors, and the people standing in his way of getting them.