“Shuya…I know that name—” Jin’s brain was starting to function properly again. He pointed at the tanned woman accusingly. “Shuya as in, that damned twig?!”
Shuya rolled her eyes and purposefully looked away from him.
Seeing her obvious snubbing, Jin was left speechless. Who did this twig think she was, to dare ignore the Fairy Emperor so blatantly!?
“Shuya….” Mei Hua frowned.
Shuya’s lips went into a straight line.
“…you promised…”
Shuya delicate featured turned bitter for a moment before smoothing over. She gave a graceful bow to Jin.
“This Ancient One greets the Fairy Emperor.”, she grit her teeth and spat out; “This Ancient One wishes His Imperial Majesty a long life and many years of good luck… I guess.”
“And?” Mei Hua asked with a raised eyebrow.
Shuya muttered angrily for several minutes, teeth grinding audibly, her smooth face starting to twitch.
“…and this Ancient One will— will— pah!—” The last of her calm facade broke completely as she spit at the ground, “—put aside old grudges in the hopes of strengthening future alliances… for Little Sis’ sake.”
Shuya straightened up and pointed threateningly at Jin, “But only for her, you understand? Don’t think I’ll let you get away with even the smallest thing! Any funny business towards Little Sister and I’ll make you wish you could die!”
“With an ally like you, do I even need enemies?!” Jin retorted angrily.
Shuya harrumphed and turned to Mei Hua pleadingly, “I did what I said, didn’t I? It’s good enough, isn’t it?”
Mei Hua rubbed her chin with a single finger, brow furrowed.
“The attitude was somewhat lacking—”
“Somewhat?!” Jin cried out.
“—but you did keep your word.” Mei Hua gave a slight chuckle. “Thank you Big Sis. I know it was hard, but thank you.”
“…what am I even here for? I’m not being listened to at all…”
Seeing Jin sulk, Mei Hua went over and hugged his arm.
Looking apologetic, she explained, “Sorry Jin, she doesn’t like you much. It took a lot for me just to get her to agree to say all that. Please forgive her for being rude.”
“That wasn’t just rude,” He objected. “That was hostile. She hates me, it’s obvious.”
Shuya was nodding in agreement to his statement. Mei Hua gave her an exasperated glare before continuing.
“…well… but she’s harmless even if she’s hostile. She just promised not to mess with you anymore.”
“What! You mean she was messing with me before? And that’s fine with you?!”
“It’s not like you even knew she was messing with you.” Mei Hua eyes curved slightly in amusement and then looked serious. “Jin, she’s family to me now. I gave her a name and she treats me like her real sister. Even if you dislike her, and she dislikes you, I can’t turn her away. And see, she even put aside her grudge for me, so her love isn’t shallow. The worst you have to deal with is her giving you an attitude. Ye did that for years and you get along just fine.”
Jin looked vexed, his previous euphoria completely gone. It was true he got along well enough with Ye, despite all their arguing. But Jin wasn’t delusional; he knew perfectly well that was because Ye’s loyalty was to his Sister. And his Sister had loved him, even to the end when Jin chased her out…. He seriously doubted the same could be said for this Shuya person.
Seeing his dark expression, Mei Hua opened her mouth to try and smooth things over. Before she could say anything a Wen fairy ran up to them frantically.
“Masters, the crowd has—” The Wen Fairy’s eyes almost popped out in surprise at what he saw. He raised his hands in shock. “LADY MEI HUA IS AWAKE!!!!!”
His voice was so shrill everyone winced. Fairies who’d been told by Ye to keep their distance immediately came to investigate. When they saw the Wen Fairy had been telling the truth, they scattered to share the news. None of them seemed to care Jin had woken up too, ignoring him completely. The phrase “she’s awake” echoed throughout the Palace.
Fairies from all over the Palace began to converge on their Lord and Lady’s location. Mei Hua’s eyebrows rose as their numbers steadily increased; she couldn’t help but notice there were twice as many as what she remembered. And most of the new additions appeared to be muscly fellows the size of regular humans, wearing military uniforms and exuding a threatening aura.
The soldier-looking fairies got down on one knee and bowed their heads towards her, while many of the regular servants were actually kowtowing in Mei Hua’s direction. She saw the seamstress fairy, and a few others she’d been close to, weeping openly.
Mei Hua, meanwhile, was getting a serious case of the goosebumps. Of course she always got along with fairies thanks to being Jin’s wife, but she’d never been treated like this. Certainly they’d never wept over her. It was borderline worshipful, which was a thousand times worse than being overly polite.
There was only one thing she could think of that would cause this kind of reaction. She turned to Jin, feeling uncomfortable.
“Jin, have I been asleep for a very long time?”
To Mei Hua, she’d simply been living in a strange little world of her own. That place had no concept of time, so she couldn’t even say how long it’d felt like she’d been in there. It was both long and short, but things were clearly different ‘outside’.
“You haven’t been asleep.”
“Then what—”
“You were in a coma.”
“Ah.” She blinked, feeling even more confused. “Was… was I in a coma for very long?”
Jin’s expression became pained and he seemed to struggle for a moment to say anything. At his reaction, she glanced at her sons who were also looking sad. Seeing her sons, she instantly realized it couldn’t have been a short amount of time. They had grown too much for it to just be a few days or even months. Alarm coursed through her. She grabbed Jin’s arm and shook it.
“Jin, how long?”
Ye shook his head slightly, “Jin wouldn’t know since he’s been ignoring everything the last few years. It was nineteen years Mei.”
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“WHAT?”
“It’s true MeiMei.” Ye continued gently. “The poison in your body wasn’t meant for humans. The only reason you survived was because you were given a partial antidote right after being wounded. When Jin tried to remove the poison later, you almost died. We had to find some other way… even once we found it, there was no fast way to remove—”
“Wait, wait, so that lake of poison… someone actually poisoned me? On purpose? Who would do that??”
Jin and Ye looked startled.
“Do you… not remember?” Jin asked slowly.
“Remember? What am I supposed to be remembering?”
Now they all looked incredibly awkward. No one wanted to say what had happened to her. Yan Li and Shi Ji, who’d seen it with their own eyes, were even more unwilling.
Seeing all the men weren’t willing to do it, Shuya sighed and stepped forward. Placing a finger under Mei Hua’s chin, she lifted the younger woman’s face so that they were staring at each other.
“Little Sister, it’s not that you don’t remember, it’s just that your mind is still a mess from that poison’s after effects. If you concentrate, you’ll be able to recall. Just like how you remembered Lu Shao when you tried. But… it might be better not to do that. It might be better to… never try to remember.”
“…is it that bad?”
“Do you think you were poisoned with good intentions?”
“No, obviously not.”
“Then of course it was ‘that bad’.” Shuya lowered her hand and sighed. “So decide for yourself whether you want to remember. No one will judge you if you choose not to touch that memory. But if you choose to remember, don’t forget my teachings and know you have many people who will support you through the pain.”
Mei Hua thought for a moment. She felt like she was half-Mei Hua and half-Little Sister. There were areas in her memory that were still hazy, things she only vaguely knew or thought she ought to know. So if she wanted, she could do as Shuya suggested and simply leave something alone and ‘forget’ it.
But at the same time… she’d been in a coma for nineteen years. Nineteen years! Her husband had suffered, Ye had suffered, her children had suffered— Lu Shao had grown up motherless, thanks to that stupid coma! She wanted to know what had been done to her, and who had done it. If she chose not to recall, it meant she’d never really know… it’d always be second hand information.
And while everyone had suffered during those years, she’d been blissfully ignorant. Living in her own world, knowing nothing and acting as she pleased without much thought for others. Even the poisoned lake, which she knew to be dangerous, did not ‘feel’ dangerous to her there—yet it’d put her in a nineteen year coma! Would it be right to continue living that way, ignorant and happy; but never able to ‘feel’ the danger, never able to understand the suffering of others?
“Mei,” Jin lightly touched her arm. “If you can forget, then forget. I don’t want you to suffer.”
Mei Hua’s eyes suddenly narrowed. It felt like she was being asked to lie to herself. And there was nothing that bothered her more than lying.
If she ran from this pain, what about the next time? Would she just keep running? Escaping hardship was the same as saying she preferred being weak and helpless. What was all that training from Shuya for, if she never put it into practice?
The moment she thought that, she knew what she had to do. Since she remembered Lu Shao being a child the last time she saw him, she used him as a guide. Somewhere in her memories of him, was the memory of being poisoned.
She sifted through her mind: Lu Shao being born. Lu Shao as a baby laughing at her singing, entranced by her pipa lute playing. Lu Shao trying to play and sing, even with his baby teeth barely showing and his hands too small. Lu Shao at her birthday party talking to the musicians… Lu Shao walking with her to meet the Master Musician… a piercing pain…
The memory hit her like a boulder, crushing her underneath it.
The warnings she’d been given hadn’t been exaggerated. As the events poured back into her mind, it was as though she was drowning in them; living through them once again. She began retreating, both physically and mentally.
“No, no, no, no, no—”
Her last clear thought was: pain, so much pain!
She had been awake and silent through every last bit of torture. At first the pain had been so horrible, so intense, she thought she’d go mad from it. But somewhere between getting sliced and having fingers broken, the pain had suddenly lessened. Her mind had cleared somewhat and she became very aware of everything being done to her. Her torturer had seemed… happy… at her endurance and kept finding new ways to try and make her scream.
How many different ways could a person be sliced? Pierced? Hit? How many different potions could be used to melt and burn? That day she’d learned all the different ways a person could be hurt.
Was it good that the pain had mysteriously reduced itself? She didn’t know. But the trauma of what had been done to her hadn’t gone away just because so much of the pain had. The sounds, the smells, the feeling on her body as it was sliced or burned, and the joyful look of the man so intent on making her want to die, seared her mind with an ugly scar.
The next thing she knew, she was on the ground, shaking violently with Jin embracing her tightly and rocking her as if she were a baby. How long she’d been like that, she had no idea. Ye and her sons were standing over her with anxious faces and she could vaguely hear the panicked background chatter of fairies.
“—here, I’m here Mei.” Jin was whispering frantically to her. “They can’t hurt you now, you’re safe, I promise. You’re safe.”
Her speeding heartbeat began to slow as she realized she wasn’t in immediate danger. It had been a memory only, the threat was long gone. Nineteen years gone. The fear of immediate danger ebbed and with it so did the intense shaking, only to be replaced by a gut-wrenching sorrow and mental agony.
She buried her head in Jin’s chest and wept. He gently stroked her petal filled hair, himself wanting to cry but not daring. She sobbed for several minutes.
Shuya crouched down and placed a hand on Mei Hua’s head. Jin bristled at her touch, but she ignored him.
“Little Sister, what are the three teachings?”
Jin tried to grab Shuya arm and throw it off, but to his surprise, his hand passed right through her arm as if he were touching air. He stiffened in astonishment.
“Endure, Embrace, Empower.” Mei Hua choked out, voice muffled in Jin’s tear soaked clothes.
“You have endured, now you must embrace.”
“…it’s hard, Shuya. It’s hard.”
“En. Things worth doing are rarely easy.”
Mei Hua was silent for a long time, gripping the front of Jin’s clothes. After an internal struggle, she reached out a single hand. Shuya grabbed it with her opposite hand, entwining their fingers together.
“Who are you, Little Sister?” Shuya asked gently.
Mei Hua’s hand trembled slightly.
“I’m Bao Mei Hua.”
“Who are you, Bao Mei Hua?”
“Beloved Sister of the Fairy Ye.”
Her trembling stopped and her grip on Shuya’s hand tightened.
“Who are you, Sister of Ye?”
“I’m Huang Jin’s wife.”
Jin felt moved despite his general feelings of mistrust towards Shuya.
“Who are you, Wife of Jin?”
“I’m Mother to my adorable children.”
Mei couldn’t stop from a small smile from flashing across her face at the thought of her sons.
“Who are you, Mother?”
She bit the bottom of her lip, hesitating, before finally saying, “I— I’m broken, beaten, consumed by cruelty. A victim, helpless and weak. Powerless.”
Her free hand gripped Jin’s shirt and in response he set his cheek against her head, continuing to stroke her hair. As the fresh memory of her torture reared its ugly head, she felt as though she was being suffocated.
“Stop this.” Jin glared at the Shuya, seeing his wife in such distress. “You’re making her relive what happened.”
“Do you want her to live in fear for the rest of her life?”
His face blackened at such a ridiculous question. If he could hit this arrogant woman, he definitely would.
“Then let me—no, let her— do this.”
Shuya turned from Jin and watched Mei Hua’s reaction closely. The younger woman looked frail and scared. Squeezing Mei Hua’s hand, Shuya asked:
“Are you Powerless?”
Mei Hua simply leaned forward to rest her face on Jin’s chest, as if to ignore the world around her.
“Bao Mei Hua, are you Powerless?” Shuya asked again.
“…I don’t want to be.”
“Then are you a Victim?”
“…I don’t want to be that either…”
“If that’s the case, who are you?”
Mei Hua didn’t say anything so Shuya tugged the girl’s hand and said with force:
“Who are you?”
Mei Hua raised her head and her eyes locked with Shuya.
“I don’t know.” Came the the pitiful response.
Shuya raised an eyebrow, “Then let me remind you who you are: What do you gain through Enduring?”
“Strength.” Came an automatic reply.
“What do you gain from Embracing life, good and bad?”
“Knowledge.” Mei Hua paused and then, knowing the next question Shuya was going to ask, added: “Through Strength and Knowledge, I am Empowered. And through Empowering, I become Wise.”
“That’s right. So tell me, Little Sister, who are you?”
The younger woman’s brows furrowed for a moment and then her face cleared with understanding. That was right. This was the power of the Yin. In the terror of the moment, she’d almost forgotten.
“Yin dwells within me, and I am Yin. What was meant for evil, Yin will turn to good. What was meant to be destroyed, Yin will build into something more beautiful. There is nothing death brings that Yin can not overcome. Therefore… therefore, I decide what I am.”
At this thought, Mei Hua straightened her back, sitting up properly for the first time. The blue in her eyes grew bright and piercing.
More to herself than to anyone else, Mei said, “My name is Bao Mei Hua, and I am not powerless. I have seen death time and again, and I have overcome. I am the Overcomer and I will never be a victim.”
Shuya’s eyes twinkled slightly and she let go of Mei Hua’s hand.
“Then stand up, Overcomer, and show the world who you really are.”
End of Volume 3