As their lips met, the entire hall erupted in a cacophony of noise. Amidst the chaos, Alexander sat frozen, resembling a statue in the second row. Meanwhile, Michel attempted to console him, his words lost in the uproar.
Alexander was seeing the movement of Michel's lips but there was no sound. Alexander was confused with something else though, he was waiting, waiting for the pain to come, but it never came. As if nothing happened, or as if his consciousness was trying to deny the reality.
“Do not worry. I am not feeling anything.” Alexander said to Michel.
Alexander did not lie; he really was not feeling anything. Not pain, not sorrow, not regret, not relief, not pleasure, not happiness, not sad, not anger, not furious, neither was he filling bitter, he was just feeling nothing.
Observing Alexander's state, Michel chose silence, empathizing with the turmoil that gripped his friend.
Amidst the raucous applause, the play reached its conclusion.
The entire cast assembled on stage, acknowledging the audience with a collective bow.
Everyone also stood up and clapped, even Alexander was among them, and only one man did not and that was Adonis. He was looking at the stage with furious eyes, gripping the railing so hard that it cracked to the horror of the teachers and student setting behind him.
The curtain then fell, announcing the end of the play. Everyone started to exit the domelike hall.
Alexander also stood up from his seat and said, “Let’s go Michel.”
“Are you feeling ok?” Michel asked.
“Yes, I am, I am just thinking of how much of a loss it was to buy the pearl neckless,” Alexander said as dropped the neckless he bought earlier.
“Let’s go,” Alexander said.
Michel knew what his friend was thinking, Alexander was not his only friend nor his best friend, but he always had a special place for this guy in his heart.
Leaving the auditorium, Alexander headed straight for the bus. It was as if he was blind to the colorful and youthful spring surroundings, especially as the play ignited everyone's dormant desire for love.
"You don't have to accompany me. You can go," Alexander said when he reached the university bus, noticing Michel. He urged him to enjoy the night as the festivities were still ongoing and the night was young.
Michel did not say anything as he followed Alexander onto the bus. They sat together on the fourth floor, both in pin-drop silence.
It took some time for everyone to board the bus.
Many approached Michel and Alexander to talk, as it was their department that put up the show. Ana and everyone related to the show did not come, as there was an after-party.
The bus started and the vibrant city nightlife unfolded beyond the windowpane, Alexander's gaze remained fixed on a memory: the fleeting touch of lips. Amidst the bustling scene, his mind drifted back to that singular moment, each recollection accompanied by a pang in his chest, as though a weight were pressing down upon his heart. It was a peculiar sensation, one that drew an awkward smile to Alexander's lips, a smile that seemed to dance on the precipice between joy and anguish. Was he finding solace in the intensity of the pain, or was his mind teetering on the edge of madness? The answer eluded him, lost amidst the tumult of his emotions.
Time passed but everything seemed vague and unclear except for the moment when Ana’s lips touched Chase’s.
"Hey, it's your stop," Michel's voice broke through Alexander's reverie, pulling him back to reality.
Blinking, Alexander surveyed his surroundings, gradually piecing together his location. With a start, he rose from his seat, a sudden weight in his hand catching him off guard. It was the neckless, thrust into his palm by Michel before he disembarked.
"She's not the only one, you know. There are plenty more fish in the sea." Michel whispered to Alexander with a chuckle. "And hey, why let that expensive necklace go unused? Remember, cash is king." He tried his best to be funny to see at least an arc on Alexanders face, but there was none as he turned back with a dead pan face.
“Well If not anything, sell the damn useless thing and treat me.” Michel said somewhat grumpily.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
But all he got in return was a simple yes, and a nod.
Seeing the building today, which farther made him remember Ana, Alexander's face reddened and so did his eyes.
As he stood before the imposing doorway, a flicker of hesitation crossed his features. But then, with a sudden resolve, he squared his shoulders and lifted his chin, determination sparking in his eyes. It was as though he had reached a momentous decision.
Turning on his heel, Alexander strode away, though the weight of self-doubt still hung heavy in the air. The voice in his head, relentless in its assault, berated him with cruel comparisons.
‘Ha, ha, ha, you actually thought you had a chance! I mean, really? What qualification do you have to stand beside Ana?’
‘I mean look at Chase, she and Chase make a perfect couple.’ The voice paused for a moment as Alexander's eyes grew redder and redder. It was obvious that tears were threatening to fall out at any moment.
‘And it is not only looks, Chase became 10th in the class exam. He has already been on TV. Not to mention his passive income streams and accomplishments in various fields surpass yours. He's a skilled chef, a team leader, and recently organized a successful class picnic, fostering strong bonds across the board. Can you even pinpoint one area where you shine in comparison? And let's not dwell on Chase – think about yourself for a moment. Remember your cousin? She's already secured a spot at the prestigious university in the capital, despite being two years younger than you. Her achievements speak volumes; she's soared to Xeo 5 level in cultivation years ago and has a flourishing career as a model. Where do you stand in comparison?"
‘And not only her among them all who can you say you are better then? I am telling you just end it.’
“But I am a good person. So...”
‘Good! So, what, people do not respect you because you are good, they do if you possess the capability to harm them.’
Alexander knew that the voice in his mind is nothing more than his subconscious. But the fact that he was still carrying this deep conversation of justifying himself with his own subconscious spoke a lot about his current condition.
But as he walked, the weight of his internal conflict began to manifest outwardly, his complexion flushing crimson with each passing moment. Meanwhile, high above in the heavens, ominous clouds gathered, casting a foreboding shadow over the city below.
Eventually, Alexander found himself standing before a towering edifice, unlike any other in the city. This 901-story behemoth stood as a testament to ambition gone awry.
It was meant to be a project to create a new section in the city, the building being both the center and main attraction, but poor management and bureaucratic corruption along with multiple changing of engineers made it a symbol of failure and over ambition not unlike Alexander himself.
This left the project budget in complete shambles, and the government was forced to abandon the whole project, in short, this was kind of a ghost town in the middle of the massive metropolitan city.
Standing before the imposing structure of immeasurable length and width, Alexander gazed upward. The black sky behind the skyscraper lent it an ominous aura, evoking images of a tower from hell, a pillar of the underworld where the devil himself might reside.
He discerned what to do, though harsh, hard, and maybe a bit unfair to his parents; he was going to end it all today. He just, just could not bare this, this pain, it’s too much. He just wanted it to end.
And he wanted to do it from here, looking at the vast city from the highest vantage point one last time, as his last view.
It was hard, but with every step, the sense of Ana’s lips kissing Chase flashed past him as he moved forward. Fortunately, there was just a barely functioning elevator that broke down after it took him to floor 562; the rest took him almost 1 and a half hours.
Opening the door of the roof, Alexander clasped in exhaustion. Though he was a beginner cultivator, this was too much. But strangely enough, just for a fleeting moment, he felt satisfaction, which was soon drowned by the reminder of the reason he was here for.
To this point, he did not see anyone, which was to be expected, as even if someone came here to do drugs, they would not climb this high.
The roof was moss-covered and messy to say the least. Suddenly, a thunder crackling brought Alexander back to reality. As it was night, he did not realize that the sky was covered with dark clouds.
And yes, even if he was atop a 901-story building, clouds were above him as cultivation and interaction with the aliens changed the atmosphere in a really massive way.
Alexander shook his head as he stepped forward. No matter the storm, flood, whatever, soon he would have nothing to do with it.
There was no railing on the roof, so he could see the bustling city below as he gulped down. To be honest, he kind of liked it here. It was quiet; all the noise, hassling, and bustling of the city died down at this height. It was as if the problems of the mundane world did not dare to climb this high, from where he looked down on everyone like a god. No, a legend.
He strode forward, holding back the tears. His whole life flashed by him, the moments that he was bullied, the moments that proved that he was not capable of doing anything, the moments that his father and he himself asked what the hell he was good for. And without exception, the answer was always non-existent as there was nothing that he could say that he was good for. There were also times when his mother or his brother got scolded, protecting him.
As all of this was done, he cleared his mind of all thought and took a really long breath and a look around as if it was his last. Then looked down before he jumped, but as soon as he looked down his soul left his body, he took two steps back and turned white as if blood was drained from him.
And at that time no matter how he tried, he couldn’t hold the tears back. At first, it was just a drop, as alexander remembered the first time his father gave him a disappointing look as he did badly on an exam. Then the second drop fell as he remembered as everyone cried, especially his mother, after receiving the medical report, that he will never be good at cultivation. Then as the tears fell one by one as the memories of the past came back not to make him remember the good times but to haunt him. At one point there was a scene of a handsome boy and a beautiful girl kissing as a boy looked on like a statue and then there was now when he lost all his resolve and pain just by seeing the height. And at this time the pain that alexander was waiting for also came he knew why he was not worthy of Ana and how much pain he actually felt when she kissed Chase. It was as if he was so afraid that he was able to accept this life of constant paint, then confront death head-on. The painful realization hit him he was a coward.
This realization broke the camel’s back, shattering the remnants of his fragile facade. With a primal roar, he unleashed his anguish upon the heavens, a lamentation echoing through the tumultuous sky. As if in response to his raw despair, the firmament wept alongside him, rain cascading like tears from the heavens above.
The thunder roared, drowning his anguished cries, though in truth, there was no need for concealment. Yet, unabated, Alexander pressed on, each strike against his own flesh echoing amidst the thunder's fury. It seemed a duel of sorts, his tears competing with the tempest above. Amidst his fervent lamentation, he struck his thigh, an unexpected sensation jolting him. Retrieving from his pocket a scroll-like object, stained with blood, he squinted through tear-blurred vision at its seemingly unscathed surface, oblivious to the deluge that failed to dampen its parchment.
“WHY, WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME? WHY DO YOU GIVE ME HOPE AND TAKE IT AWAY? WHY JUST DON’T GIVE ME HOPE? WHY? WHWY? WHY?”
Alexander did not notice but a teardrop fell on the paper, the paper that did not get wet in the rain begun to moist. But alexander did not notice this phenomenon as he cried, and more and more, tear drops fell on the paper, some of them even fell on the blood marks as the tears miraculously wiped the blood with ease.
Suddenly there was a sound, as manly as possible, as authoritarian as possible, it was a voice of a ruler no not a ruler it was a voice of a tyrant, no not that either, it was a voice of THE tyrant,