Lena grins toothily, looking me up and down and pacing in a wide circle around me and Dani. “If I hadn’t seen it for myself…” she shakes her head, grinning into her hand.

I squirm under her scrutiny, no idea what she’s talking about. Did I make a mistake coming here? What did I really know in the first place? How could I think I could trust her based on one measly word on a scrap of paper?

She completes her circle and stops in front of us, hands on hips. Her upcycled trousers are laden with mismatched pockets, hanging from her lithe frame under the weight of whatever knick knacks fill them. I notice the end of a wire coming out of one, and for a moment, I’m struck by the laughable idea that she must be a cyborg.

“You’ve got guts, Kyla. I’ll give you that.” Lena extends her hand.

I shake it, tentatively at first, but soon she’s pumping my arm up and down till I worry it’ll come out of its socket.

“Real guts,” she continues, still grinning.

“Uh, sorry…” I stammer. “I don’t know what you mean?”

Lena finally lets my arm go, and walks to a desk heaving with monitors, beckoning for me to follow. “Emotiv? Harding?” She chuckles, shaking her head in disbelief again. “I saved the clip! Might even get it enhanced to Real-K someday.”

She taps a pad, and the largest monitor changes its display to the inside of Emotiv—the CCTV footage. Harding and Frank grappling each other on the floor, tearing at each other’s face.

My eyes are glued to the screen as I grab Harding’s wrist—the speed of it seems unreal now, like a blur. How did I ever move that quickly?

In one swift motion, I yank his gun from its holster and point it at his back.

The net of electricity explodes from the rifle, swallowing both Harding and Frank. Before the convulsions paralyse Frank’s body, I see a tiny smile at the corner of his lips—he was staring right up at me. It’s almost as though he was willing me to pull the trigger.

“I—” I’m not sure what’s making me nauseous— is it the last reserves of my adrenaline fading, or the realisation that Frank may not be quite as angry as I’d initially thought? I didn’t realise how important his approval was to me. My knees wobble, and I sink downwards.

Lena pushes a chair behind me and guides me into it. “Hey, it’s been a rough time. I get it. You need to take a break.”

“Dani—” I motion to Dani, who’s still near the back door, wary of coming in further.

“It’s all good.” Lena stops me from getting up and beckons to Dani with her free hand. “Hey, Lutz. You remember me, right?”

“Greetings, patron.” Dani scuffs her toe on the concrete floor, refusing to come closer.

“Yeah, that’s right sweety. Come on, I got just the thing for ya.” Lena reaches into my trouser pocket wordlessly. I startle, about to complain about the intrusion when I see what she’s taking—a small bottle of Composure.

“Are you kidding me?” I blurt out. “That’s what keeps them calm?”

Lena rolls her eyes, handing the bottle to Dani with a soft smile. “What did you think did it, kisses and rainbows?”

“I—” I open and shut my mouth a few times, unsure of what to say. My face heats again at the realisation that I could have helped Dani all along. “So fucking stupid.”

Lena slaps me on the shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up, K. You had a lot on your mind.”

Dani holds the bottle with a blank expression, and Lena mimes drinking with raised eyebrows. After some gentle coaxing from us both, they sip the neat syrup slowly.

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“It’ll take a few minutes, but that should help them gain some clarity. What made you bring it?”

“I… I dunno.” I shrug. “Just seemed like it could be handy.”

She snorts again, dragging another two chairs over and sitting in one, running her hands through her cropped black hair. “Maybe you should listen to your instincts more often. Seems like they’re on point.”

The sleepy daze drops away as I recall our dreamlike journey from the arcade. “How did that work? What the hell did that drink do?”

“Blessed? It’s a codeword of sorts. There’s no blend called that, not really.”

“But there are bottles of it—”

Lena laughs. “Yeah, one of my inventions. It’s still in the research phase, but we’re getting there. Call it a homebrew.”

I swallow, remembering the sickly slime on my tongue. That explains the less than pleasant aftertaste. Emotiv would never make money with something like that.

“We needed something that could help folk evade capture, get to where they need to go.” Lena says, leaning back to stretch her shoulders out. “So they can find shelter, someplace safe, away from the wardens.”

I nod slowly. “But I found you?”

She spreads her arms wide. “And I’m your sanctuary! For now, at least. Once the heat is off, we can take you down with the others.”

“Down with—”

“Ah!” Dani gives a cry that startles us both out of our chairs.

They point at Lena, then at me, with a confused look—but the sparkle is back in their eyes, the colour returning to their face. “Lena! You got us to… You…”

Dani crosses the distance between us in three steps and pulls me into a bear hug. “You’re fucking amazing, Kyla Chase. You know that?”

“Please… Dani…” I don’t know where to look. Being praised feels wrong—especially coming from Dani. “I’m not—”

“Stop that!” Dani pushes me out to arm length, gripping my shoulders, practically shaking me. “You didn’t have to bring me. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been. I… Fuck.”

They turn away, pressing the heels of their hands to their eyes.

“Welcome back, Dani.” Lena smiles, and crosses the space to a kitchen area. “You guys are probably starving. I ain’t got anything fancy, but I got noodles?”

My stomach growls at the suggestion, and Dani laughs—too loudly, too heartily. Their eyes are red and shining with tears, but I pretend not to notice.

I can’t face their tears, especially knowing I’m the cause. Even tears of happiness are too complicated to bear. Happiness is a farfetched concept now, and that’s on me.

Lena guides us to a corner hidden behind a privacy screen. There’s a mattress on the floor, covered with clean sheets with piles of pillows. “Here, get comfy. I’ll bring you something to eat and drink. We’ll talk more later. You need to rest first.”

“Is Frank okay?” Dani asks, and I suddenly remember Lena was talking to him on the phone.

“He’s fine, sweety.” Lena smiles. “He’s been looking for you both. Well, trying to get me to look for you.”

“Trying?” Dani frowns.

With a sigh, Lena rests her hands on her hips again, searching the ceiling for the right words. “Uh, let’s just say I ran into some trouble of my own, past few days, so I gotta stay low for a while. Not safe to roam the streets.”

“Everyone okay?” Dani asks.

“Mostly.” Lena shrugs, avoiding eye contact with Dani. Suddenly, she claps her hands together. “I’m gonna rustle up some grub!”

She disappears behind the screen, and Dani and I share a look.

What’s that all about? I sign.

Long story! Dani replies with a worried shake of their head.

“How are you feeling?” I ask.

“Better, thank you. Sorry about—”

“No! It’s not your fault. But I… didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry I didn’t realise sooner.”

Dani grabs my hand, squeezing it. “I remember everything, though. Since I grabbed you in the apartment. Thank you.”

I pull away, ashamed to be thanked so profusely by them. “No, it’s nothing. I couldn’t leave you. What—Do you mind if I ask, what’s it like?”

“It’s like…” Dani purses their lips. “I’m stuck in a shell. I can process everything that’s happening, but I can’t communicate it anymore.”

“You could still give me clues, though.” I smile, remembering Dani’s cryptic codes.

“Hah! I’m glad you understood them at all. Gods, Kyla, it’s… it’s hard.”

The knot in my stomach tightens further, but I nod, pushing it down. I have to hear this. I caused it. The very least I can do in penance is listen.

“When Harding took me that day, he should have taken me to reform. But he had other plans—said he couldn’t be bothered with all the processing. So he took me to a back street and… he took out a vial.”

My hands tighten into fists involuntarily. Oblivion. He dosed them in the street and dumped them. Like an animal.

“The first time was a blank. The next thing I remember, Frank was with me, in the apartment behind Emotiv. He and Lena figured the Composure dosing could help. He said you found me. There’s so much I have to thank you for.”

“Don’t.”

“Kyla—“

“I mean it.” I glare at them, wishing I could convey even an ounce of the hatred I have for my actions that day, my selfishness. “Don’t thank me. I have a lifetime to make it up to you, and it won’t be enough. You never have to thank me for anything.”

Dani shakes their head and cups my cheek in one hand.

There’s an awkward cough from the screen. We turn to see Lena, holding two cup noodles. “Dinner’s served!”