Ember opened her eyes slowly, her head pounding. The nausea was building quickly. I definitely had too much to drink yesterday. With little grace, she stumbles out of bed, struggling to find her footing. She was still lower on energy than normal and hadn’t let herself wake slowly either. Her body was fighting against the movement, she wanted nothing more than to just sleep more, but her mouth felt like sand. And currently, her thirst was winning. She leans against her bedroom doorway for a moment, trying to keep her stomach's contents inside. This was not a good start to her day. After a moment she continued on to her kitchen, she needed water. As she picks up her cup a painful realisation hits her. Her water bucket was empty.

“Shit.”

It seemed like her day wasn’t exactly improving just yet. She faintly remembered having emptied it when she got home, in an attempt to avoid this outcome. Sadly for her, it hadn’t helped as much as she’d wanted.

“Was that damn bard trying to kill me?”

She could recollet most of the night, at least the start of it. The rest was a bit hazy. At least I woke up in my own house. Having to have this kind of morning with anyone else present was not something she wanted to experience. She lets out a long sigh, leaning on her counter. She’d have to walk all the way to the well on the farm nearby for water, not exactly something she was keen on in her current condition. The exhaustion and thirst were battling again, this time the exhaustion felt like it was winning. She needed a moment, just a moment, to lie down. She’d get the strength for her walk soon. Or at least she hoped so. It was hard not to fall, but she managed to lie down. It wasn’t comfortable, but she didn’t have the energy to care. She barely registered that she was closing her eyes before she drifted off.

When she came to, her throat was hurting more than earlier. She couldn’t decipher how much time had passed, but the hangover was still very much prominent. However, there was only one thing on her mind right now. Water. She scrambles to get back on her feet, taking a moment to find her balance. As soon as she does, she starts her journey to the well, although she only got a few feet out of her house before she stops. She grumbles as she turns around and goes back inside. This time grabbing her bucket before she leaves again. Her feet were hurting when she got to the well, but at least she could finally quench her thirst. After filling the bucket she drinks as much water as her stomach would allow her without it coming back up. Afterwards, she fills the bucket again in hopes she wouldn’t have to return anytime soon. She looks back towards her house and grumbles. Now it was just to walk back.

It wasn’t until the sun was hanging low in the sky that she felt better. A mild headache still lingering as she sat by her window. She thought back to her conversation with the bard. Thinking about it made her stomach churn and her heart beat faster. She wanted to apologise, but at the same time it made her feel anxious. Would Lea even want to talk to me right now? She shakes her head. It didn’t matter, she needed to do this. However, with dusk soon approaching it wouldn’t be until tomorrow. This made her even more nervous, she wanted to do it as soon as possible, but there was no way for her to know if Lea would even be home.

“I could ask Ethen…”

The idea made sense to her, having him there would probably make it easier as well. He usually hated when they fought, so it would make sense for him to want to help her out. Now the only thing left was if she should wait til tomorrow or to try now. She rests her head into her arms, regretting that she’d had to spend most of the day recovering. Her mind kept going back and forth, wanting to go now and thinking she should wait. After a few minutes she suddenly stands.

“Screw this, I can’t just wait around.”

With her newfound determination she quickly gets herself ready and on her way, pulling her scarf up over her face as she leaves. Ethen and Lea both lived quite close to each other in town, but if she was quick she could make it before the sun went down. She was practically running as she headed to Ethen’s place, hoping he would know where Lea was and help her with this.

Ethen had seemed relieved to see Ember, making her sure that Lea had told him. She had made it quicker than she expected, the sun still visible in the sky. Lea was home and Ethen had been almost eager for them to go. They stood before her front door, Ember hesitating to enter. She was scared of how this would go, she wasn’t even sure what she was going to say yet. Her confidence from earlier was quickly fading. Ethen puts a hand on her shoulder, urging her to go on. She takes a deep breath before opening the door, Ethen quickly follows after. Lea was sitting on a chair by her window. Her face goes pale as she sees who had entered, swiftly standing to her feet.

“Why did you bring her here?”

Her tone was harsh and her hands curled into fists by her sides. Ethen remains quiet, looking towards Ember. Ember takes a shaky breath, trying to find the courage to speak. Her voice is timid as she tries speaking.

“Lea, please listen-”

“Why should I listen to you?”

Lea wasn’t going to make this easy, but that would have been unlike her. She was normally like this, stubborn in her ways and feelings. Ember was clearly shaken by the interruption, struggling to continue. How was she even going to start? Her heart was beating out of her chest, the loud thumping only making her more anxious. She hadn’t really thought about this. A tense silence fell over the room. After a moment, Lea scoffs as she tries to walk to the door in an attempt to leave, but Ethen blocks her path. He tries calming her down, his tone pleading.

“Lea, please just listen.”

Her face tightens, clearly agitated. She looks up at Ethen, but he doesn't move. Lea didn’t hesitate before speaking, her voice bitter.

“Just leave me alone, I don’t want to-”

“I’m here to apologise! I… I am so sorry…”

Ember yelled out, catching herself by surprise. Lea goes quiet, but her expression didn’t waver. Ember takes another deep breath before continuing, her body trembling.

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“Lea. I am truly sorry for what I did.”

Lea turns to face Ember, glaring at her as she did.

“Right, you’re always sorry after, but you don’t consider us before you do it.”

“You’re right, I didn’t consider your feelings in this and I should have.”

There was a mild crack in Lea’s expression. She seemed caught off guard by the statement. She hadn’t expected Ember to admit it. She adjusts herself, standing taller than before as she starts speaking.

“You’re only apologising because I blew up on you.”

Ember feels almost relieved that Lea was speaking to her, even if was hostile. She takes a moment to steady her breath.

“You’re not wrong, but it was what I needed to really understand how badly I messed up here. I never meant to hurt you and I was way too focused on myself-”

“Like always.”

Ember puts a hand on her arm with a tight grip, squeezing it as if to keep herself from breaking down. She hated feeling like this, to have hurt someone she cared so much for. She had never meant to hurt anyone else and realising Lea felt like this was a hard truth. She feels a lump in her throat as she speaks again.

“Not anymore. I won’t do this again.”

Lea scoffs and turns her head away, but she seems less heated than earlier. Ember lets go of her arm and takes a step towards her, closing the gap between them as she continues with a genuine tone.

“Lea. I will tell Mother I need a break to recover fully, I promise.”

Lea faces her again and lifts an eyebrow, clearly not trusting her statement. Ember smiles weakly, feeling more relaxed now. The fact that Lea was hearing her out was a good sign in her eyes, making her more confident. Ember takes the final step placing her directly next to Lea and tries her best to get her earnesty across as she speaks.

“I’m serious, I will.”

“You? Telling Mother anything other than yes? Sorry, I’m just struggling with believing that.”

“Lea.”

Ember takes Lea’s hands, holding them tightly. She rests her forehead against Lea’s and speaks in a reassuring tone.

“I promise.”

Lea visibly relaxes and lets out a long sigh, gripping Ember’s hands back. A smile grows on Ember’s face, the anxiety she had from earlier fading away. Lea looks into her eyes with a gentle smile, the anger she had earlier clearly gone.

“Okay. I trust you. But you cannot break this one.”

“I won’t, I’ll go tonight, Mother should still be at the base.”

Lea chuckles for a moment, then suddenly pulls Ember into a bone crushing hug.

“Thank you.”

Ember hugs her back as tight as she could manage. They stay like that for a while, their breaths synchronising. Then they both feel an unexpected force around them, making them look up. Ethen had joined in, a peaceful look on his face. Lea couldn’t help but laugh, they hadn’t hugged like this since they were younger. As if realising the situation, Ethen quickly tries to step back, but he doesn't get far before Lea pulls him back in. He seems more uncomfortable this time, but doesn’t move away. They all stay like this for a few more moments before they all let each other go. As they pull away, Lea faces Ember and speaks in a sarcastic tone.

“And please stop trying to get yourself killed, it’s getting kind of old now.”

Ember chuckles.

“I will. I’ll be more careful.”

Lea puts her hand on Ember’s head and ruffles her hair as she laughs.

“You better be.”

Although she had wanted to stay, Ember had been quick to leave. Today had already been exhausting, but she needed to speak to Mother while she still had the courage. The light outside was limited as the sun was setting in the distance. When Mother was at the base she normally stayed until dusk, so Ember needed to be hasty if she wanted a chance to talk to Mother tonight. As she got closer she could feel Mother’s energy in the basement of the base. Her determination started fading. She stood by the door, trying to get herself to move. Come on, I can do this. She takes a deep breath, steadying herself before she goes in and downstairs. Mother was sitting in her usual spot, reading a book on her desk. She looks up as Ember approaches with a smile and looks back to her desk.

“What are you doing here?”

Ember tries to keep a calm tone as she speaks.

“Mother. I… I need to talk to you.”

Mother returns her gaze to Ember, looking at her expectantly. Ember couldn’t hold back the mild tremble that took her for a moment. She wanted so badly to keep her composure, to stand her ground. She didn’t want to falter on this. With a deep breath she continues, the tremble faint in her voice.

“I… I need more rest before my next mission.”

Mother closes her book, the sudden noise making Ember flinch. Mother’s tone turns colder as she answers.

“Last we spoke, you promised to keep up with our original plans and schedule.”

“I know, but-”

“Why the sudden change of heart?”

Ember bit the inside of her cheek. All the courage she had when she left Lea’s house had left her at this point. She didn’t wish to argue with Mother and even less so to upset her. She feels herself tense, struggling to find her words.

“I almost died…”

Her voice came out almost like a whisper. Mother closes her eyes and sighs.

“You acted carelessly and you want a break for that?”

Ember feels her chest sting, but remains composed. She wouldn’t let herself waver on this. You’re doing this for Lea and Ethen, just… focus on that.

“It’s… I need time to get better.”

Mother pinches the bridge of her nose as she considers her next words.

“Fine. If you think you need this, the rest of us will wait for you.”

Ember gives a small nod, struggling to keep a calm posture. Mother had let her rest, so why was she feeling so guilty about it? Part of her wanted to take it back, to promise she would do better, but she managed to keep it inside. As she is about to turn around to leave, Mother speaks again.

“Do remember we have goals for this summer.”

“Yes Mother.”

Ember’s voice trembles as she answers before she hastily retreats from the basement. Her eyes take a moment to adjust to the darkness outside. A colder gust of wind makes her shiver. She starts her journey home, keeping her focus on the sky above her, the many stars peering through the darkened clouds.

Ember stepped in her house and as the door closed behind her, something in her broke. She had managed to hold it back the entire way back, but now she was finally home, it all came out. Before she could react her feet give in under her and she collapses on the floor. Not a sound came out although tears were already trickling down her face. She tries to gasp for air, struggling to fill her lungs. Her breaths are short and quick, making her feel like she is suffocating. She grabs her chest tightly, trying to steady her breathing. Her body shakes as she pushes her head against her floor. The loud pounding of her pulse against her temples drowns out all other noise. The mix of guilt and shame building in her, the emotions swirling through her body like a vortex. The pain in her chest causes her to clench her fist tighter against it, her nails digging into her skin. She had no concept of how long she stayed like that or when she stopped. She hadn’t even registered when she fell asleep.