Pain! So much pain!

I could only feel this raw sensation as I was lying there on the ground, admist burned pieces of furniture and the likely remains of my friends and myself.

My eyes didn't work properly, probably wounded by pieces of wood or metal that ricocheted through the parlor after the explosion. But my nose on the other hand perfectly captured the smell of burned hair and sizzling flesh.

I tried to open my dry throat, plea for help. But my tongue seemed paralyzed and my lungs seemed to have collapsed. The pain mainly focused on my chest area, I was surely impaled by something; a table leg maybe.

The feeling in my limbs was non-existent, except for unbearable pain. I could feel my blood slowly dripping on the carbonized ground, like an hourglass each drop represented the little time I had left.

When a small puddle of blood formed itself under my body I could faintly hear the sound of sirens, it sounded so far away but I knew it was just my sense playing a prank on me. The ambulance was already here.

Fire fighters desperatly tried to free my body from the debris. They responded quick, acting with the utmost care to not hurt me.

Only the adrenaline in my system kept me awake for the few minutes until the fire fighters gave up. The paramedics desperately tried to keep me alive with infusions and breathing masks. Cpr was out of the question as the contraction of my pectoral muscles would cause the thing that was lodging itself deep in my chest to move and cause even more damage.

Sweat trickled down from the paramedics, the heat and the scene of destruction was straining them mentally.

I lightly smiled towards the paramedics. I tried to open my mouth again to thank them but only incoherent burbles left my throat. My mouth filled with blood and the taste of iron and copper remained.

It was to late. I felt myself growing tired, my body was cold and warm at the same time. Lightheadedness made me feel comfortable but I dreaded what would happen next.

I was never a person that was fixated solely on one idea of afterlife. Reincarnation, nirvana, heaven/hell, simply nothing, I believed in it all and doubted these ideologies at the same time. They didn't sit right with me, but whatever.

I tried to defy death, like any living being would do at its last moments. I feared what might happen, feared the unknown. Tears glistened in my eyes as I reluctantly gave in to the cold embrace of death.

Oh right! 'How did he die?' some of you might wonder. Well let me just introduce myself and then we can start.

My name is, or was, Antero Ribeiro. 28 years old.

My parents were of portuguese origin and immigrated to Germany where I went to school. I had two older brothers and we were a happy family, even if we had disputes inbetween we still loved each other.

My brothers left when they were roughly 20, studying abroad or simply enjoying life. I did the same when I finished school. I was a lazy person, but if money was involved I would do anything.

I loved biochemistry as well so I sat my lazy ass down and studied. First I went to a university in Germany, studying biochemistry and all its facets; meaning; mathematics, physical chemistry, inorganic chemistry, but I also switched to bionics and astrophysics. God I loved science.

After building up a decent reputation I was awarded a grant from Seoul National University. Of course I accepted.

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I was only 22 at that time. Further studying for 4 years of my life I realized that this was not what I wanted. I loved science yea, but I did not wanted to waste a third of my life dedicated towards biology and the like.

So with 26 I travelled back to Germany. My parents were furious when they heard what I did. But I couldn't care less.

I left them once again, visiting foreign countries and only keeping me alive with part time jobs. It felt nice somehow. I was free and enjoyed the change of scenery every few weeks.

I learned many things and in the end I settled in Australia. I loved the landscapes and the exotic flora and fauna. Not everything is deadly in Australia, trust me.

I studied business adminestration and became manager of a small retail chain.

Settled in Australia, having a steady job, a few girlfriends between and a solid clique, I lived quite happily.

On a weekend off I was invited to a friend's house. We all needed time for relaxation, a few drinks and a bag of pot seemed perfect for the occasion.

My friend's house was build right atop of a underground pipeline. Illegal? Yes.

We were enjoying ourselves when suddenly the earth began to shake. The earthquake was not to severe and everything seemed fine after a few minutes.

The quaking began anew but this time it appeared more like distortions in space. I could hear the girders of the house groaning under the pressure. My friends panicked and shit went down.

A blinding explosion. Afterwards darkness and pain.

The pipeline exploded right under our feet. The house was completely destroyed and the roof caved in.

It was only for a moment that I heard my friends pained screams until they were silenced. My friends were dead, burnt corpses that would hardly ever be identified.

Everything went black, pitch black. My 'body' felt light – and fragile –. Sadness filled my heart. I wanted to go back to my family and friends, hoping that this was only a nightmare.

I knew I would die someday; but just like that, at the prime of my life? It was laughable.

Time flowed as I welled in the abyss. There was nothing at all, I hoped for purgatory or something, or that my existence would be erased so I wouldn't have to endure any longer. But I was conscious in a sense; it made it only worse though.

I had time to think, about what would happen, what awaited me. My thoughts went back to a topic I avoided like the pest. My family. How are they doing? What happened to my friends and where are they?

Admist all these thoughts realisation finally kicked REALLY in. I was just sad at first but now... I felt immense grief. I would NEVER see my family again. My loving brothers and parents; they were gone, FOREVER! It was all gone, in mere seconds I lost everything. I wasstripped of my loved ones and now I was withering away in nothingness.

I felt sick, my mind was spinning and I only wanted everything to end.

After what felt like years my body experienced a slight tug. I turned towards the direction of the pull and saw a blidning light.

'Heaven is it?'. I thought to myself as I slowly entered the sphere of white without any expectations or emotions, I only drifted towards the inexplicable phenomenon.