Now that I was alone again, that feeling of despair came flooding back. At least now I knew for sure that I would still be able to see my family in time, and in the meantime, I could keep my same therapist. Fifteen minutes of soul cleansing, shuddering sobs later and I was surrounded by several empty boxes of tissues. I was about to gather them up but they began to vanish.

I paused. I had almost forgotten I was in a virtual world. So many things have changed so quickly—I HAVE to focus on something else. Distract yourself, Jessica.

Several deep breaths and a few heavy sighs later, I opened the list of playable races again. It was massive, consisting of Minotaurs, Giant-types, Orcs, Dwarves, the usual fantasy races, plus over three hundred other unique ones I had never heard of.

I guess we’ll start at the beginning … “No.” Toss. “No.” Toss. “No. No. No. Definitely not. … Maybe? No.” I was flipping through race cards and each time I didn’t like it, I grabbed the card and threw it behind me. I had a virtual folder filled with “No’s.” I had, however, found a small group I liked. I had tried on Human, which felt pretty solid. I was surprised at how natural it felt, how realistic, despite being a game, everything felt so intuitive to interact with; I was very used to it already. But this was my chance to be something OTHER, something MORE than …just human. I wasn’t about to live in a fantasy world and just play an ‘average person’. It was comfortable, though, and right now I was keeping comfort near at hand even if I knew, deep down, it just wasn’t really an option.

An hour later, I finished filtering down the list of races. The remaining ones were a small group, consisting of Wood Elves, Humans, and Ursine. The Ursine are basically bear people that live in small nomadic tribes. They are devoted to nature magic and believe any technology beyond smithing to be cowardly, the only exception being artillery. While the artillery thing doesn’t really feel like my thing, the tribal aspect might be interesting. The close-knit community may really help with the transition into this world.

“This is a big decision. I don’t wanna mess this up,” I said to myself, tapping my pen against the notepad with intent.

Pause and think it through.

I grabbed the Ursine ‘Great White’ body, which was basically a upright polar bear, and placed it against my chest as if I were trying on a dress, checking myself out to see how it looked and how I felt about it. I honestly wasn’t sold yet.

A button appeared nearby. I focused on it. Showcase? A quick definition opened up.

[Showcasing is used to ‘demo’ a race for feel. Since this is an important decision, you may take the races on a ‘test run’. You are not able to change your race easily once you confirm your selection and enter Elysium.]

I selected the button and my vision went white.

The pounding of artillery filled my ears. When my vision returned, I was wearing heavy full plate and wielding a seven-foot handled war hammer with a huge chunk of glowing sapphire-colored crystal carved from an Ancient Dragon making up the head. My tribe isn’t one of the biggest Ursine groups, fielding only twenty-one members. However, what my tribe lacked in size they more than made up for with their expertise in possessed artillery, strategic knowledge, and connection with Mother Grau.

The loud ‘whump’ of artillery shots launching drowned out the sounds of the approaching army attempting to advance through the hole in the miles-long, hundred-foot-tall walls. “If you’re going to hold them, the best point is at the wall’s broke toothed gap. Go, boy. We’ll shell past ya. Don’t worry fer getting some fire and shell in yer fur! Hah! Load those shots, laddies, or you’ll be diggin’ graves instead o’ ditches! LAUNCH!”

I dropped to all fours and charged forward, shells whistling overhead. The impact of the fiery shrapnel mostly cleared a path ahead for me. Those unfortunate enough to live through the blast got flattened quickly by my war hammer.

I could make out the thunderous chants of my tribe, the loudest being my grandmother as dark black storm clouds brewed unnaturally overhead.

“Kominn um langan veg, um hrið, BERJASK! SLAGDI í SUNDR! Kominn um langan veg, um hrið, BERJASK!”

I understood the language, as do all Ursine. “Come from afar, storm, STRIKE! BREAK! THUNDER! Come from afar, storm, STRIKE!”

I joined my voice with the thunderous chant, booming out with the strength and power that comes from the ‘Ancestor Spirits’ I carry with me into battle.

Each clanging sweep of my hammer sent armored warriors pinwheeling through the air. Pikes, spears, and blades alike skidded off my armor, throwing off sparks like fireworks.

Finally, after closing the distance to the wall, I stared at my target. Hold the gap. I absently swatted at the warriors attempting to get past me, outright killing most of them, at least gruesomely injuring the rest. My attention focused in on a woman who stood out from the crowded mass of soldiers around me. Her armor glistened with colors like an oil sheen, showing the armor to be heavily fortified with enchantments.

I was reminded of a lesson from my great grandmother before she passed her Ancestor Spirit to me. “Never underestimate your opponent, no matter how much bigger you may be, or how many Spirits you have in you. Trust in the power of your Spirit, but respect that an opponent is an unknown to you and may sting like an angry Rask. Test the nest first before sticking a paw inside.”

I stopped a dozen feet away at the edge of a stone circle and bellowed at my armored opponent, kicking up dust around us. Warriors clenched their helmets from the concussive sound. The artillery sounds fell quiet in comparison. She seemed entirely unaffected. I tapped my hammer head to the stone ground in an age-old rhythm. My normally white fur was soaked in red. I could smell the flowing blood of the soldiers around me. The scent of the woman in front of me didn’t have a hint of sweat or blood. Through my cultivated connection with the surrounding lands I could sense the pain it was in from this siege. I needed to end this war, but she wasn’t the general I was looking for, just a captain.

I rushed forwards, bringing down the hammer for a killing blow. The hammer hit nothing; she wasn’t there. In the blink of an eye she was behind me, her enchanted blade penetrating the shoulder joint of my plate. I let out a grunt. To get through my enchantments, she must be powerful. With a growl and a hastily scrawled rune, my wound knitted itself together in seconds with a powerful itching sensation. She stood, once again, on the far side of the circular platform, her head cocked to the side. I hadn’t even seen her move. She’s toying with me. I can’t keep up with her speed … However, I only need to land one solid hit. No amount of enchantments could protect her from my Kunning’dor*.* My hammer had some of the strongest enchantments from the our allies who are the strongest enchanters in my tribe’s storied weapon crafting history.

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

More memories sprung to mind.

“If you’re ever at a loss of what to do, seek an elder. If you can’t find an Ursine elder, seek the eldest—or better yet, the wisest—being around. Most often that will be Mother Grau herself. Listen well to her and she will give you the wisdom to act. Listen with impatience and you may not understand what you hear.”

Lightning flashed in the distance. Among the enemy army, large branching patterns of white burned into my eyes among the midday darkness of the storm.

**CRACKOOOM**

A thick white branch of lightning struck a catapult, setting the crew and the monstrous machine aflame with cries and the whistling of large, speeding wood splinters. The ground below the catapult was white hot, quickly cooling into smooth glass.

“Yes…,” I said as I watched the glass cool. Time for something new then!

I growled.

“Bregða, etja vandræðum við mik, fœrask í aukana!” – “Strike me, I stand in defiance! Use all your strength!”

My grandmother would recognize and know what I meant.

I rushed forward, swinging my hammer too far out, trying to make it look like an accidentally safe space inside the swing’s arc. She took the opening and darted right up against me, stabbing me repeatedly in the gaps of my armor. I bellowed out in Ursine once more. I barely felt the pain as all of my focus went to conjuring the Mother’s power.

“Skal yfir lúka með oss” – “Our time is now, complete the spell.”

I jabbed my hammer into the sky with a roar as a thick column of white lightning drove down, dwarfing me in size, the sizzle and skittering of sparks dancing along my hammer, gathering in gems, now white hot, set into my armor. My eyes turned blue-white and my lips curled up in a feral smile.

“Eöjet afnur stefna rök hönd!” – “Mother Grau calls judgment on you!”

The enemy captain had retreated to the other side of the circle, her armor reflecting a rainbow of hues from the light radiating off my lightning, her armor giving off wisps of smoke. The foot-soldiers nearby had been blasted back and had their arms covering their eyes as they cried out in pain.

I felt nothing.

I heard nothing, I was … nothing, until I felt … everything. Every blood-filled puddle, every terrified creature hiding in a burrow, even the spirit of the Great Mangi tree that has been burning for over a week.

The immense pressure and power of Mother Grau’s presence filled my body like I was shouldering a mountain range. She lifted my arm, pointing at my enchanted opponent before sweeping my arm in a circle. My opponent’s head twisted in curiosity as vines quickly grew up out of the ground and wrapped up every soldier in eyesight, a great writhing of vines and soil. Voices cried out before being quickly silenced, all I could see was a writhing mass of green and brown. The vines then stilled, hungering for the one who led the others.

Freshly turned-over soil surrounding my stony circle. In an overwhelming rush of sensation, my hearing and sight returned as Mother Grau retreated angrily back into the ground to strike elsewhere.

I raised the head of my hammer up to point at my wary opponent. She didn’t seem so cocky now that she was trapped with me and my now fiery white gems. I released a thick bolt of lightning. She darted to the side too fast for me to see. I brought my arm to bear once more and again, she dodged. “Very well, little mouse. I shall come to you.” I growled out around the harsh language of this invader. I gripped my hammer and pulled a small gem out of its socket, rumbling a quiet prayer of thanks to Mother Grau before crushing the gem into dust and scattering it in a circle. The hair on my back rose up as the sizzle of skittering lightning began circling around me in a large hoop.

I rushed at my opponent, leaving her with few options. She had to step off to where Mother Grau could grab her in vines and effortlessly kill her, or fight me. I threw out a bolt of lightning to cut down the angle even more aggressively.

She darted toward me, into my ring of lightning, her sword leading the way. A blazing spark leaped up and connected to the blade tip and traveled through her, continually draining my charge yet seizing up her body. She was no longer a threat. I saw her eyes widen in surprise at the power of the spell as I brought the hammer lazily up, then down, finishing the battle.

Ba-ba-BOOM

The thunderous report of artillery shells rained down doom upon the approaching army. The calls of wounded soldiers and the foul stench of their wounds seemed to reach my senses with intent.

One down, two to go. And then, the General …

I, Jessica, jolted back at that thought. Woah. This—this is not for me. Out. I want out. Now. [End?] YES. I had seen enough. Awesome, but not my style in spite of the nature theming. I had everything I needed from this showcase. I concentrated and selected ‘End.’

I landed back in my off-white template body. I am not feeling the Ursine. The Elves will be better.

I grabbed the Elven body next. A blink later, I could see better, hear better … I was also shorter. Grumble. I wasn’t tall while alive, although I always wanted to be growing up. I guess that doesn’t really matter anymore, though. I shook my head. That had to wait. Instead, I read through the race card, so I knew I got winded faster unless I was in a forest. Still unsure why specifically, but I could sprint for ages if I was “surrounded by large growth.” But in an open prairie? I’d be winded three hundred feet into a run. I selected the showcase.

The showcase was brief. Right off the bat, I felt comfortable, and it showed me everything that I wanted to be. I hadn’t been sure if I wanted to be an Elf before because it’s one of the more overdone fantasy races, but it just felt so natural to me. By the end, I was just remembering good times with Eleanor, some of those nights we said we’d cherish forever. While I was an Elf, I felt like I had her by my side …

If I’m going to live here for … a long time, I want to be this. I feel so much more comfortable as this, like I never was as just … ‘Jessica the Human’.

I read over the Elf section once more. Before going directly into the game, I wanted to check if there was any other information, which turned out to be a good thing because there’s a whole section on landing and how to do it safely.

I then spent a couple of hours perusing landing locations in Elysium. This would affect pretty much everything after that since life could cascade off of simple choices early on. I was determined to nail the ‘take-off’. I finally settled on the outskirts of a large ‘mushroom’ forest. I was still hazy on if that meant the forest was made of mushrooms, or if the forest was just famous for the amount of mushrooms that grew there … or if some mushroom-like monsters lived there … or maybe some specific event around mushrooms? Regardless, there was an Elven city in the forest and a Human city out on the nearby plains. I settled in and read through the ‘Journey Start’ twice. It didn’t seem like it was too dangerous, even if you messed it up. You just might not land nearby where you wanted to.

I spent an hour refreshing on the Elven lore, any tidbits of the area, and was just closing everything to attempt world entry when a letter suddenly appeared on the ground nearby me. Signed: Eleanor. Written with the flowing script that she was so proud of. I remembered when she had hand written all the wedding invitations. I smiled a bittersweet smile. I’m not ready for you yet, my love. Soon though. I won’t keep you waiting any longer than I have to. My throat constricted for a second, tasting ash. I gulped down several shaky, deep breaths before recognizing I couldn’t handle the emotion right now and shelved it for another day. Treading water is okay in the short term. Allow yourself to tread water if you need to tread water. There’s no shame in handling the emergency how it has to be handled. I will handle this later, I just can’t right now, a tactical retreat. I grabbed the letter and pocketed it.

I reached out a hand and thought ‘Menu,’ selecting the ‘Drop’ option and confirmed the Mushroom Forest.