"Welcome to the afterlife, &%$#@∂∑®." A voice spoke. My eyes struggled to open, and it took me a while to realize I had no eyes to begin with.

Then, the strange words registered in my mind. Huh. So I finally kicked the bucket... About time, honestly. Lying in a hospital bed, utterly unable to move and only capable of drooling wasn't very fun.

"I suppose it wasn't. The fact that, even in your death bed, you still insisted on forcing your dying mind to learn was impressive." The voice spoke again. I tried to 'look' around, but all I could see was darkness.

The voice felt female, though, so there was that at least. "Was it, though? You should have read that book, it was mighty interesting. Written by a very talented author, might I add." I responded, a bit unsure but also rather relaxed. After all, what was the worst that could happen? I was already dead, and I was fairly sure I wasn't daydreaming.

Even if I was, I had nothing to lose by being polite.

A charming and very feminine giggle resounded within my mind. "You don't indeed. You're a very interesting mortal, you know?" The voice said. I raised a non-existent eyebrow at that.

"Thank you, miss not-a-mortal. I do enjoy privacy though, so please do refrain from stalking me... Unless you're my imagination, in which case, feel free." I shot back, fully expecting to either be erased from existence, wake up, or get laughed at.

Suprisingly, it was the third option. The woman's chortles were akin to church bells going off, if that was even possible. I would have loved to see the woman in person, but that didn't seem to be happening.

"Oh, my bad, I forgot to explain. You died, as you seem to know already. Normally, your soul would get shipped off to the reincarnation cycle of your local universe, and that would be the end of it, however... I've been keeping an eye on your world for a bit, and you caught my interest, so I caught you and brought you over to my place instead." The voice explained, answering exactly zero of my questions.

Oh well. I was grateful enough for still being himself, so I didn't particularly care if the woman made no sense.

"I... I see. I feel it obligatory to ask of you not to consume my soul, I can promise you I'm not very tasty." I said after a bit, breaking the silence that had descended. The voice didn't answer for a bit, probably stunned by my sudden 'promise'.

Then, the voice giggled once more. "Don't worry, I don't eat souls... Well, maybe the reeeaaally naughty ones, but those are exceptions, I promise." I wasn't really reassured, but again, I kind of had nothing to lose, so... whatever?

"A-anyways, moving on, how would you feel about reincarnation? It would be in a world full of magic, monsters, heroes, etcetera." The voice suddenly said. I paused my train of though for a bit, mulled over the question, and then metaphorically shrugged.

"Sure." I responded. The voice seemed taken aback by my quick and easy answer, but she quickly resumed speaking.

"Oh. Ok then. Um... Here, read through this, I guess. It's all the options available to you, but I have to warn you, you only have a limited amount of points to spend." The voice quickly explained. A flashing screen abruptly appeared in front of my vision, a plethora of tiny options with varying costs on it.

"Oh, thank you. Hm... May I ask for your name while I scroll through this?" I asked her as I started going through everything. I had 1200 points, neatly listed on the top right corner of the strange screen that seemed to answer to my will as it scrolled up and down from my thoughts alone.

"Well... I go by many names, but my favorite one is Arya, Goddess of Wisdom." The voice rambled, quickly breaking off into a tangent about how she wasn't 'just' a goddess of wisdom, but how her domain encompassed so much more and yadda yadda.

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I kind of zoned her out as I hungrily eyed all the sweet, sweet options on the menu. It was kind of neat, honestly. If I bought nothing at all, I would be reborn as the son of a peasant farmer with no future, something that didn't appeal to me too much.

I scrolled through the list, making mental notes of the few things that interested me. However, when I reached a particular section, I stopped. 

"Oh my... Hey, Miss Arya, would you mind explaining to me why elves are a thing? It says here that they have extreme lifespans and also very high 'magical' affinity. May I know what the latter means?" I asked. Arya paused her rambling which had mostly become a self-pity fest, and she perked up... Or at least I thought she did, judging from her tone of voice alone.

"Oh, yes, yes. My apologies. Well, magic is just a big word meaning all the arts and schools related to the study of mana, a sort of energy omnipresent within my world. It allows people to make the seas part, create lightning by glaring, and also make fireballs. There's a lot more than that to it, but I won't spoil too much..." The voice trailed off as she realized I'd stopped paying attention, having concentrated upon the menu once more.

I ignored her light huff, instead mulling over my options. Buying the 'elf package', so to speak, seemed to grant a lot of benefits over buying a bunch of individual human boons. After a bit of thought and more exploring, I decided to buy it.

Just like that, I went down to 800 points. 1/3 of my life savings, gone just like that... A worthy investment, if I may say so myself!

My eyes paused, however, as a small section abruptly unlocked following my purchase. I stared at it blankly, and Arya seemed to notice my stare, despite not even being visible to me.

"Oh, yeah. The gender troll thing. Just ignore it, I mean, I know switching genders gives you points, but it was set up, like, millions of years ago as a joke, so--... Or you can do that, I guess. I'm not judging." She backpedaled as I pressed the 'female' option.

"Oh, thank you. I do not fancy myself a pervert, you see, but the option of being able to explore the world as a different gender, see all the benefits and difficulties that come with it... It sounds delicious. I am so very curious to see what it would be like... Besides, the extra points certainly sweeten the deal." I explained to the poor goddess, eyeing my points as they shot back up to 1000. Sweet, sweet points... I could technically buy either 5 minor boons, or two major ones. Choices, choices...

I scrolled through everything at least twice, silently considering my options while asking Arya a few questions. She mostly just said basic things that I could have guessed even without her, but I suppose it wouldn't do for me to look at the gift horse in the mouth.

In the end, I decided upon three things. Two minors and one major.

"Oh my... Interesting choices, mortal, but I suppose I should have seen at least that one coming." Arya said, her voice coming out of nowhere and startling me a bit. 

"Are you referring to this one? The Blessed Eyes?" I asked her. She hummed positively, not saying anything else, so I just shrugged and got back to finalizing my choices.

The blessed eyes were my major choice, and boy did they sound amazing. The description said they would help me unravel the mysteries of anything I looked at, along with improved memory. Truly a fitting choice for a scholar such as myself.

My next two options were the much less impressive Magic Talent and Greater Mana Reserves. Both were fairly self-explanatory, although magic talent did cost around 300 while greater reserves only cost 200, which was fair, I supposed.

I finalized my two choices, watching as the menu faded away. Arya's voice drifted in my ears, a sliver of expectations hidden in her melodic voice. "Say... Before you head off... How about I give you a small offer? Of course, you are free to refuse, but I promise you'll love it..."

I blinked, metaphorically of course, but still. "I have a choice in this?"

The chocking sound that came next wasn't quite expected, but pleasant nonetheless. After a few moments, Arya giggled a bit, although it did sound a bit strained. "Of course you do, mortal. I may have taken you away for my amusement, but I do not wish to do things against your will. Anyways, my offer would be for you to receive my personal blessing, and in exchange, you only need to occasionally pray to me and do a few things for me when I ask. I promise they won't be too much of a hassle."

I reflected upon her offer for a bit before accepting. She had done quite a lot for me, after all. Getting a second life would have been impossible without her, after all.

I got the feeling that she was beaming at me now. "Perfect. Well... I hope you enjoy your life. Oh, and do remember, beware the heroes. They're somewhat... annoying. Byeee!" Her voice faded away as my consciousness blurred, and before long, I had returned to nothingness.

What an odd goddess, was my last conscious thought.