Chapter 29- I Leave it to Illia

(The chapter sequence continues from book one. This is the first chapter of book two.) 

Illia and I were giving everyone their space. We'd just discovered what the mysterious monster was then everyone just sort of exploded from the stress. Well, that's how I saw it. Crue and Sturgis were fighting over something. Presumably, it had to do with me and their paranoia about their own pasts. I still wasn't certain why everything had escalated the way it did, but I was planning on asking Crue first chance I got.

Then Illia and I had our moment. Was it a moment? Her running away from home to escape her family and my possibly becoming a sexual deviant. It was certainly a difficult conversation, I know I was still processing some of the information she'd given me. Perhaps she was doing the same.

She didn't seem that concerned about what I was going to become. I know I bounced between outright panic, just ignoring the problem, and an 'oh well, shit' attitude. Not very helpful when it came to dealing with complex issues, but it was how I dealt with it. I felt like I was a 'roll with the punches' kind of guy.

There were times when things would happen in this new world and I'd be fine. That is the way this place worked, the way I'd been rewired not to panic in normally panic-inducing situations. Then there were moments when the fear set in. The anxiety, the defeatist in me coming out. The uncertainty that everything would work out and be alright had me fighting a battle within myself. At night was when those thoughts were the worst.

I felt so calm right now though. For the first time in a while that hind-brain panic had subsided. Perhaps it was sharing with Illia. Her acceptance. It might be that I was just so exhausted from all the embarrassing questions and constant anxiety of the situation that my brain just shut down.

Nope, said my brain, I'm not going to do it anymore, sort your own business out.

But brain, my business is your business.

I don't give a rat's ass, I'm on vacation.

Our group was sorting itself out, we had a crazy powerful monster running around nearby, and here I was all calm and peaceful. Talking to myself in my own head, but still fairly peaceful. However, thinking about why I was so calm, seemed to push that calm state further away.

Damn, I was working myself up again.

That was a short vacation, put down the sunscreen brain you need to get back to work.

"Hey, can I sit here?" Lotte popped up from around the corner. She looked upset, really upset, like she'd been crying. Her stormy gray eyes were all puffy and swollen. Her complexion was a bit blotchy too.

I moved over and offered her a place on our makeshift stone bench.

"Hey," I said in reply.

"Hi," Illia added.

Lotte sat down. The silence was weird, very weird. Do something me! Make it not so awkward.

I had nothing. I silently fed Amisi another berry. I sucked at interpersonal relationships, relationships in general. I didn't have any clue on how to fix this.

"I think I owe you both an apology," Lotte slowly started.

"Um, if it's about back there, I'm sure there are reasons." I was trying to be the nice guy, but honestly, I really wanted to know those reasons. I silently urged her to spill.

"It's fine," Illia said cheerily, "no harm done. Let them work it out." How was she so perky in this situation? Sometimes girls just baffled me.

"No, I've been thinking about it and I've been acting rude."

"I just attributed it to stress and you weren't that rude. Just a bit on the cranky side." I thought I was being diplomatic but I got nudged in the side by Illia. What? What did I do?

"I know we aren't really friends, but I need someone to talk too. Being out here, with him, I thought I could manage it."

Him? Him who? Wasn't she Sturgis' apprentice? Did she mean Crue? Surely not, Crue was a super likable guy. I couldn't imagine someone not liking him.

"We can always lend an ear. If nothing else talking about it with someone outside the situation might help. Besides, we've done a lot of sharing today and we've got a bit of a mojo going on for it right now." Illia chuckled. Well, that part was true. Go Team Us.

"Mojo for sharing," Lotte gave a little sardonic laugh.

"It seems to be the thing we are doing right now," I added.

Lotte gave me a look, then glanced at Illia beside me smiling.

"Are you dating now?" She asked.

"Wait, What?" Completely thrown, my brain went blank.

"No, we just shared a bit of our personal history. It was nothing like that." Well, at least Illia could think.

Illia seemed to be so calm and zen. Maybe I should leave this talk to the girls? Curiosity was getting the best of me though. I really would like to know what was going on. Was there anything I could do to contribute to the conversation? Wait, there was.

"It will make you feel better," I handed Lotte a bar of chocolate. Throwing chocolate at a problem never hurt.

"Thanks," Lotte opened the bar and began to nibble at the corner.

Amisi seemed interested in this new edible thing, but it was obvious she was holding herself back because she didn't want to startle Lotte. She was fairly trembling in her desire to find out what the new thing was. Could bees eat chocolate?

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"That's something baby bees can't have. Maybe when you're older. I'm not certain if it will stunt your growth or not." I was erring on the side of caution.

"Oh," Lotte froze. Did she just now realize that a bee the size of a potato was sitting just feet away from her. She really was in a mental state to have missed that.

"Lotte, she really won't hurt you. You can talk to her if you want. She can answer back." I said this in as calm a voice as I could manage. I'd already told everyone that Amisi could understand human speech, but her being able to communicate with anyone was a new development.

Amisi sent an image of sunflowers and bees sleeping in a warm hive at night. It was a loving warm image with a sense of community.

Lotte gasped and nearly dropped her chocolate bar. I half expected her to get up and move away, but she didn't. She sat there, still sort of frozen, but taking deep breaths to calm herself.

"I'm allergic," she said rather breathlessly. "To bees, regular bees that is, I guess everyone is allergic to Death Bees. I mean you die. I don't die, I mean if it was a Death Bee I'd die, but not with regular bees. I just get all puffy and fat, it's hard to breathe, but I manage. We all manage, right?" She ended her ramblings with a strained laugh. She waved her hand around a bit. I'm not sure what she was trying to convey with it, but she was distressed all the same.

"I'm falling apart," she whispered to herself.

She put her head in her hands. Her shoulders began to shake. Shit, was she crying? What did I do? I glanced at Illia in a panic. What did I do?

Illia motioned for me to switch places with her. I did so immediately. I was not cut out for this. This was sort of Crue's area. The emotional breakdowns were his thing. Should I get him? No, if he was the 'him' she mentioned before then he wouldn't be welcome.

"We were raised together, you know, the three of us. Their family has ties with my family and when I was born as a girl instead of a boy it was decided I'd be fostered with them. The eldest always has to be a boy..." There was a lot of anger behind those words. She spat them out like poison. "There was this understanding that I'd eventually marry one of them. The logical one would have been Sturgis, but he's 15 years older than me. He was married at 26, I was still a child. So Crue who was more my age became my unofficial betrothed." She hiccuped a sob.

"I was supposed to marry one of them and bring them back into my household. I was supposed to bring their military strength so my family could use it for their advantage. Then he goes and leaves the guard, he becomes a priest." She spat out those words too. "He left me completely at ends. How am I supposed to go back to my family now?" She waved her hands in the air.

"But he's been a priest for a while now..." Illia commented.

"A part of me still believed he'd come back to the guard. He'd start his military training. He is the Surveyor after all. I thought he's come back..." She wiped away her tears.

"I joined the guard and apprenticed under Sturgis to buy him time. If I could show my family that I was being trained by the eldest son... It didn't work though. All my effort has been for nothing." She slammed her fist into the side of the stone.

"Nothing. He goes and becomes an Oracle. An Oracle. Gods, what the hell am I supposed to do now? He's not coming back. He's not going to take his place in his family. He definitely not going to marry me. What the hell do I do?" Her sobs became harsher and she began choking not being able to breathe regularly.

Illia was rubbing her back but wasn't saying anything. Did I say something? What did you say? Lotte was only 16, why on earth would her family push her into marriage... I glanced at Illia again. At 16, her family was willing to do the unthinkable to her. I guess it wasn't such a stretch for Lotte.

Lotte seemed to cry herself into exhaustion. She seemed so worn out. She was leaning against Illia like she had no strength.

"Why is your family so important?" Illia finally asked. Good question.

"They are family," was Lotte's simple answer.

"I may not be much older than you, but here's some advice," Illia wrapped her arm tighter around Lotte.

"Sometimes family is toxic. It's up to you to decide your own happiness, you can't place that burden on someone else. It's up to you to decide if your family is worth sacrificing your happiness over. Is their plan for you going to make you happy? Is duty and honor to your family worth it? Is it worth dying inside for, because if it isn't you need to run.

"You need to find yourself. Who are you, what do you want to be, what do you want with your life? Ask yourself these questions. If the answers are you don't know, that's fine. But if you do know that you don't want the life they've planned out, leave. Just leave. Walk away and leave."

"Easier said," Lotte muttered, "you don't know my family."

"You don't know mine, but I ran. I'm still running, but at least I'm happy. I've made friends of my own. I've started a life I enjoy. I can honestly say that I'm fine with that way I am now. That wasn't always the case.

"There is still some fear, what if they find me? What if they take me back? But with Eri's and Crue's help, I'm getting stronger. A lot stronger. If I keep getting stronger then no one from my clan will be able to drag me back by force.

"You can do the same. You're already strong, and you can push yourself to get stronger. Become so great that no one will dare question your decisions. Become strong enough that you can stand up to your family and say Fuck You." Illia gave a fist jab at that.

"My family..." Lotte began.

"If you have to run, run. Find a new place, new friends that are willing to fight with you. You have the skill to become a Surveyor yourself. You can always quit the guard, take up with the Guild, and travel around. You don't have to stay you know."

Lotte nodded and went silent. Illia waited with her a few minutes.

"We should set up camp. I don't think any of us are fit for travel right now. It's been one thing after another today. My nerves are shot." I stood up and looked at both of the women. "Want to help me pick out a good place? Maybe we can peek in on Sturgis and Crue. Just to check to see if they are in one piece and haven't pummeled each other."

"Sounds like a plan, Lotte?" Illia asked.

"Ok, there was a wider area that way that I think will work. It's sort of flat, but we'll have to brush dead animal bones out of the way."

"Gross, but ok," I smiled. She smiled back. It was a weak smile, but it was an effort.

She'd had her cathartic release, had some things to think about, and now had a simple mind-numbing task to work at.

Name- Eri Veritas

HP 3234/3234

MP 95/95

Level- 14

Age- 18

Race/Species- (Human) Unknown

Gender- (Male) Unknown

Occupation- Surveyor of Adventurers Guild

Companion- Amisi (Baby Queen Death Bee)

Exp- 4756

Physical Power- 289

Stamina- 312

Defense- 393

Agility- 574

Intelligence- 105

Magic Power- 8

Metal Rain Lv 1

Lightning Magic Lv 1

Healing Hands Lv 2

Telekinesis Lv 3

Restraint Lv 3

Paralysis Resistance Lv 3

Mind Magic Resistance Lv 1

Skills

Staff Fighting Lv 2

Basic Sword Lv 4

Skull Bashing Lv 3

Slicing Lv 1

Piercing Lv 1

Martial Arts Lv 3

Stance Lv 2

Smooth Movement Lv 2

Archery Lv 3

Spear Lv 1

Stalking Lv 1

Scouting Lv 1

Jumping Lv 1

Running Lv 3

Monster Taming Lv 7

- Death Bee

Pain Tolerance Lv 3

Deception Lv 2

Intimidation Lv 1

Poker Face Lv 1

Etiquette Lv 3

Public Speaking Lv 1

Dismantling Lv 1

Appraisal Lv 1

Cooking Lv 1

Leather Work Lv 1

Metal Work Lv 1

Replication Lv 1 (Lv 10 for Succuba Star only)

Rock Throwing

Dancing

Singing

Harvesting

Empathy

Small Talk

Discretion

Party Tricks

Alcohol Tolerance

Monster Biology

Entomology

Zoology

Botany

Special Skills

Abyss Walker

Racial Ability-

Hidden Among the Masses- 40

Stealth- 95

Party- 10

Items Equip

Inventory Bracelet

Succuba Star

Gold- 1g 4s 09c (1409c) (6570c yet to be divided.)

Blessing 1- All Map Exploration

Blessing 2- Exp Points Required by Level Up / Current Level

Blessing 3-Exp Increase X Current Level

Blessing 4- Item- Gamer Glasses

Titles- Emissary of Amoris

Devotee of Amoris

Devotee of Edomael

Oracle of Amoris

Oracle of Edomael

Prince of Dreams

Grateful Petitioner

Lover of Leaves

Enemy of Apes