Michelle sadly smiled to herself as she re-read the three emails for perhaps the hundredth time. By now, she had practically memorized them, which, given her background in drama and the fact that she herself had written one of the three, wasn’t necessarily surprising.

The first was short, and with its “[ECHO] Congratulations, Traveller! You are one of our 50,000 lucky winners!” subject line, she had been a little surprised to see it past her account’s anti-spam feature. Before she could flag it as spam, however, the significance of the bracketed word had caught up to her, and trembling slightly, she popped the message open:

Dear Michelle Suomela:

Congratulations! Your entry into Heraldic Echo’s launch giveaway was drawn from the proverbial hat. You have been selected to receive, free of charge, one state-of-the-art Full Immersion Virtual Reality (FIVR) pod and a five-year game subscription to Elemental Chrysanthemum Homeland Online.

In order to receive your FIVR pod and access to a whole new world, please contact our offices via email at [email protected] or phone at (555) 555-3246 to arrange delivery.

Once again, Congratulations, and enjoy your visits to Se’Terra’Kai!

Sincerely,

Nahonia

Heraldic Echo, office administration AI

(Please note that this email address is monitored by an artificial intelligence. All replies to this email address will be initially processed by artificial intelligence and may not be directed to natural intelligence.)

She had entered the giveaway because Alexander had. Or, more precisely, because he had told her that he and his sister were going to play, that he was going to buy the FIVR pods. While the days of snuggling up together on the couch and playing video games or watching indie films were now several years gone, she had gambled on a chance to be with him again, even if only in a game.

The smile was sad, because even though their romance had only lasted the couple years from his sixteenth birthday until the summer after graduation, Michelle still harbored decidedly more-than-friendly feelings toward him.

It had been her suggestion to end the romance, and they had split amicably—remaining best friends, even. She had suggested it because the two of them were headed off to different cities and different colleges. It had been an “if you love someone, let them go” sort of situation.

But what did it mean if the person never really fully left?

They had talked, or texted, or emailed almost every day throughout college. It hadn’t just been “How was your day?” or “You wouldn’t believe what just happened,” but it was also the sharing of hopes and fears, of dreams and worries—almost everything. In her heart of hearts, however, Michelle kept buried the fact that she had never stopped loving him.

Christmas came, then Spring Break, and then the summer after the first semester. Alexander hadn’t come home to the Peninsula that year at all. Not that he technically had a home there, anymore. His childhood house had been sold and his mother had moved into a smaller apartment with barely room enough for her. But more than that, he had a job and never could get time off. His financial aid wasn’t sufficient, and unlike Michelle, his family hadn’t had the money to support him and his sister at school. Consequently, college was taking him and his sister twice as long as it should have taken with none of the breaks and holidays it should have offered.

And the one time he had come home was for his mother’s funeral, five years ago. If ever there was a situation completely unsuitable for seeing if the spark was still there, that was it.

Nevertheless, they had stayed close, and with that Michelle had had to be content—even when he had briefly dated a college classmate of his. Never once had she let show a hint of the heartbreak she had felt when she had realized that the secret love she still had for him might no longer be reciprocated. And even more, she kept bottled up the secret and shameful rejoicing when the fling hadn’t worked out. Had he been unconsciously comparing Caroline to Michelle?

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And even then, in truly Alexander fashion, he and Caroline had remained friends. The chemistry hadn’t been there, but they could sit in a coffee house for hours and talk about homework and class projects. Michelle had been jealous of that, too, since all her communication had necessarily been at a distance.

But now Alexander had moved back to the Peninsula, and she was the one that couldn’t go back. Not because of college, since she had completed her Master’s, and not because of work, since she was between gigs, but because….

Because now he and his sister were millionaires.

What would it look like if she came running back to him, now, after all these years?

Never in a million years would Alexander think it was money motivating her to try and resume their romance. Nor would his twin sister ever consider it. Michelle was pretty sure her own family would understand: she and Alexander had been nigh inseparable before their romance and even more so during it. If a girl could love someone when he had been dirt poor, she could love him when he was filthy rich, too.

And she generally didn’t care what other people thought, either. No, what was stopping Michelle was herself. She knew she still loved him … and knew that she had never stopped loving him. But why was now acceptable when one year ago hadn’t been, or three years ago, or five, or seven? They may have had to have gone to different colleges, but that hadn’t required that they go to college in different cities. Michelle could have gone with her third choice, in Seattle, instead of her first or second choices further away. Even if she had gone to school in California or New York, she could have gone to him for class or semester breaks, rather than hoping that he’d come home to the Peninsula like she had.

She had chosen not to. She had told herself that she was giving him freedom to decide, out in the real world and big city away from the small towns of home. But had she really been giving him freedom or had she been trying to see if lack of fuel could cause the fires within her heart to die down? To give herself freedom?

Michelle didn’t have an answer to that. She didn’t even know how to begin to answer that. So even though she could go back home and back to him … she didn’t. Not now. She couldn’t.

But if they could be together without being together, would that work as a buffer? Playing together in a game that was more than a game. Being friends and … more than friends again? Being together but without the actual physical proximity that could complicate things?

With a deep sigh, she pushed herself away from her computer desk. Enough! Enough with the moping and self-recriminations and self-doubt. She didn’t need to re-read her carefully crafted, seemingly casual and excited email to him mentioning that she had won and could play with him. She didn’t need to re-read his response, talking a little about the game and a lot about the friends he had already made, and how she would probably like all three.

His friends were all girls, which had evinced more than a twinge of jealousy when she had first read it. But on subsequent re-reading, it became clear that none of them were likely to become more than friends, not unless one of the three was more than she seemed. A healer, who treated Alexander as a younger sibling, and two twin girls who had made their game characters children, or at least childlike. One was specializing in defense and the other in support. And as children or childlike characters, they were no more romantic rivals than Noabelle was.

Of himself, Alexander had said little other than he was learning archery and having problems with it. He had hinted at something that “might be surprising” and had told her that his group was operating out of a town called Echeirn, one of the places she could choose to start in after the tutorial. He had told her, “If you choose to start there, we’d love to have you in our group, but there’s lot of other places you can start at if you want. Alexandra started in a place called Water’s Edge.”

He had said “love.” Did that mean…? Did that suggest…? Did he still…?

No. Enough. She would keep that buried and not pressure him this time, not make the first move—at least, not right away. She had waited three years before, from the time she had become aware of her feelings until the time he had turned sixteen and been allowed to date. She could wait three more years, if necessary. She had to understand herself, first.

But while waiting, she could continue to be his friend in-game and out. She could support his group and friends, at least when she wasn’t working or looking for work.

To do that, though, she needed to know more about the game and that type of game in general. What sort of person would be needed in that sort of group, what sort of skills or spells would fill the niches and make them more successful? What sort of player should she be? Drama was her passion, she could fit herself into any role needed.

To answer those questions, she could turn to the internet. By now there was enough information about the game—and that type of game in general—that there would be some answers she could find.

If only the internet held answers for questions of the heart as well.