Cid: “Helping people? Exactly what are you selling?” he said, while sounding skeptical.
John: “I sell pretty much everything that could be used to improve a person's life.”
This definitely sounded like a general salesman pitch to Cid. Always saying they have what you need and that you need to buy right away, then more often than not, you buy it and are disappointed in the product. He might have dismissed this, but felt he could at least humor him for the drink and baked goods.
Cid: “Ha. that is quite a bold statement.”
John: “It is, but I've been successful in the past. Just tell me your troubles and I'll see what I can do to help you.”
Cid: “I'm afraid there is nothing you can do for me, unless you can turn me into an archmage.”
John: “What's so difficult that you need to be an archmage to do it?”
Cid: “Difficult? There’s nothing difficult when you're an archmage. You get to live a life of luxury and anything you could possibly want can be yours.”
John: “Sure, but why do you need to be an archmage?”
Cid: “Are you listening? Why does anyone want to be an archmage, for power, money and status. That’s why.”
John: “I think you're misunderstanding me. You see, there is a difference between what you ‘want’ and what you ‘need’, so let me ask you a different question. Once you get your fame and power, then what?”
Cid fell silent. He was thinking about what Mr. Li was saying. He had never thought about it. What would he do once he became a famous mage? He racked his brain, but was left with nothing.
Cid: “I guess, I never really thought that far ahead. I was too focused on improving myself to think about it.”
John: “Not an uncommon thing for people. Focusing on the goal, but never looking beyond it. Do you even remember what inspired you to want to become an archmage?”
Cid: “I never had such grand delusions of becoming an archmage. I just wanted to get out of my hometown and make something of myself. I'm sure you’ve heard the same things growing up about mages. They rule the world and no matter where you come from in society you can become one.”
John: “But it didn’t really work like you expected, did it.”
Cid: “Yeah. Even within the world of mages there is a hierarchy and I'm at the bottom. Doomed to just be a janitor at best.”
John: “What's wrong with being a janitor?”
Cid: “You're kidding right?”
John: “Not at all. Without such people society would collapse.”
Cid: “Ok. If you're going to make fun of me, I'm just going to leave.”
John: “I'm not making fun of you. I was trying to explain to you that these ideas of meritocracies don't exist, but I haven't gotten to that point yet.”
Cid: “What are you talking about? What's a meritocracy?”
John: “Do they not teach this in school? Well in the simplest term, the people with merit rise to the top of society while those without fall to the bottom.”
Cid: “Isn’t that how the entire world works. The survival of the fittest, right?”
John: “That’s how nature works, not society. How meritocracy manifests in our society is that they teach you that an archmage is the highest honor you can pursue, that these are the people who need to lead us all, then they measure your worth as a human being against that. It's a philosophy that makes people think you're worthless if you're not a mage.”
Cid pondered upon what he was being told. He wanted to rebuke this man's words, but they made too much sense. He remembered the cartoons he watched as a child that idolized mages as heroic beings. The first thing they taught you in school is the great deeds performed by mages. They even tested one's magic ability at birth to see if they could grow up to be a viable mage. All these things reinforced the supremacy of a mage. It could definitely drive people into an unhealthy obsession with being a mage, with some people desperate enough to take extremely dangerous drugs to awaken their own magical abilities.
Was Cid himself really obsessed with being a mage like that? Would he have resorted to using drugs if he didn’t have the potential to use magic? What was left if you take away Cid’s identity as a mage?
John: “The funny thing is, that’s how meritocracy would manifest itself, if it existed, but it doesn't. I’m sure there are a bunch of people you've seen that don’t meet the ideals of a mage, let alone an archmage, yet for some reason they hold positions of power. Some of them have skills outside of being a mage that make them reliable for the role, while others just use their money and influence to gain that position. Realizing that, it doesn't really seem like the merits of a mage guarantee you can stand at the top, does it. Yet people continue to believe this and measure their worth against these ideas, poisoning their minds in doing so.”
Everything he was saying was true. The very mayor of the city was aetherless, but had risen to the position regardless. Cid knew people at the college that had abilities similar to himself, but would be guaranteed positions of power due to family connections.
Cid: “Does that mean everything taught about mages is a lie?”
John: “Well, the ability to use magic certainly isn't a lie, just that we overvalue mages and undervalue everyone else. It is the same mindset that created the disdain for janitors you displayed earlier.”
Cid: “I don’t hate those kinds of people. I'm just frustrated.”
John: “But you looked down upon them. It is why you thought I was making fun of you when I suggested the importance of those kinds of jobs, and the people who do them. If you stop and think about it, things fall apart without them. Garbage and filth would pile up and spread disease, and yet we still view it as a worthless job, but if it was so worthless the job wouldn’t exist in the first place.”
Cid: “I guess you have a point, but why me? I put so much effort into becoming a mage, yet all my efforts come to nothing more than a janitor. Can one not overcome destiny?”
John: “Hmm. Now that's a difficult question. Let me ask you something. What do you think makes a mage?”
Cid: “Someone that can use magic, obviously.”
John: “Can you use magic?”
Cid: “Well yeah. I wouldn't have gotten into college in the first place if I couldn't.”
John: “Then you're already a mage.”
Cid: “But....”
John: “No ‘buts’. Remember what i said, it’s wrong to compare someone's self worth to the ideals of a mage, or other people for that matter. It will make you depressed and lower your self worth. Whether you're a competent mage or not, you as a human being have inherent self worth no matter what people say. Instead, strive to be the best version of you that can be. In your case, if you really want to be a mage, then be the best mage that you can be.”
Cid: “Even if that means, I'm just a janitor mage?”
John: “You would still be a mage and a person with an important job to our society.”
Cid closed his eyes and contemplated everything he had heard. Maybe he was destined to be just a magical janitor, but was it really so bad? Everything Mr Li had said was really eye opening.
He had forgotten why he wanted to become a mage, but through this conversation it awakened a realization. He wanted to become a mage for the approval of others.
“Maybe instead of being obsessed with gaining the respect of others, I should focus on my own self respect and happiness.” He thought to himself before opening his eyes.
Cid: “Thank you. I think I needed to hear that.”
John: “Did you get the answer you needed to your problem?”
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Cid: “Yeah, I think I did. Well, at least half of my problems.”
John: “What's still troubling you my friend.”
Cid: “Well you may have convinced me that being a janitor is a respectable job, but it doesn't pay well, and I'm running low on funds. I think I might have to drop out of school at this rate.”
John: “Oh, that is quite troublesome. They really should make education free, or at the very least affordable. I would hate for you not to be able to complete your education, but I may still have a solution for you.”
Cid: “Are you perhaps hiring?”
John: “No, but I can provide the necessary funds for you to complete your education.”
Cid: “I’m sorry Mr Li. I really can’t take on any more debt.”
John: “Who says it has to be a loan. Despite how me and my store look, I'm quite well off. It would be no problem on my part to just give this to you.”
Cid was shocked. He was a complete stranger, yet he was being offered a very large amount of money with no strings attached. He didn’t know what to make of this, then an old saying echoed in his mind.
”Only the devil gives everything without asking anything in return.” A warning to not take gifts that sound too good to be true.
Cid didn’t feel any type of malevolence coming from Mr Li, but was still uncomfortable taking such a large amount of money. There was still a small sliver of possibility that this store owner was connected to some shady business. His offer really did sound too generous to Cid. He felt that the best and safest option would be to just refuse.
Cid: “I'm sorry, Mr Li. I just don’t feel very comfortable taking so much money from someone I just met.”
John: “Are you sure? It’s really no trouble.”
Cid: “I'm very sure about it.”
John: “Hmm. If you're sure. I just hate the thought of someone who wants to go to school being denied. When do you need this money for school?”
Cid: “Please, don’t worry about me. I still have a month before I run out of money. Hopefully, by then I will have figured something out.”
John: “Ok. How about this, I know we just met and you don’t feel comfortable with my charity, so instead, how about I get you in contact with someone else that can help you.”
Cid: “You know someone who can help me? Who are they?”
John: “Just one of my regulars. She is a researcher and quite well off. Last time she visited, she told me she was looking for an assistant. I can explain your situation to her and I'm sure I can get you the job. It would definitely pay a lot more than many other jobs”
“This is too good to be true.” Cid thought to himself. He wasn’t sure what to make of the offer, but it sounded a lot more reasonable than just receiving a lump sum of money. He may have been more apprehensive if the job was a bit more questionable, but a research assistant sounded like a respectable job to Cid.
Cid: “If that is true, I would be extremely grateful!” He said excitedly.
John: “Ha ha. Now don't be too excited. I have to talk to her first, but she is a kind person and I'm sure she’ll be willing to help. Let's exchange contact information then I'll give you a call when I have something.”
John pulled out a pen paper and then they exchanged phone numbers.
Cid had a big smile on his face for the next hour. For the first time in a long time, things seemed to be going good for him. He accidentally stumbled upon this strange store and received some pretty helpful advice, and maybe a long term solution to his finances.
Cid continued to chat with John for some time about miscellaneous things, while enjoying the beverage and food provided to him. They talked about philosophy, the general state of the world, Cid’s experience at college, and each other's past.
Through this conversation Cid discovered that John had been operating this business for many years now, and he had came from an extremely wealthy family. Unfortunately, his family died tragically. He inherited his family fortune and hid away from the world, secretly opening up this store. The store was just a front to help him hide away. Ever since he opened up shop, he has dedicated his time and money into helping people, in memory of his dead family. It really sounded like a beautiful thing to do, Cid believed.
Through these conversations Cid really felt like he got to know a lot about Mr Li. He felt guilty for suspecting anything malicious of Mr Li. He was a little strange for sure, but he seemed like a genuinely kind person to Cid.
Their conversation was interrupted by the ringing of an old grandfather clock off to the side. It rang 12 times, signaling that it was midnight. Cid’s eyes widened when he realized how late it was getting.
Cid: “Oh shit, I didn’t notice how late it was. I need to get back to my dorm.” He said as he picked himself up to leave.
Cid: “Before I go, I just wanted to thank you again for everything. You really helped me out.”
John: “Don’t mention it. Oh, before you go, don’t forget to take your book.”
Cid: “Book?” He said confusingly.
John held within his hand the book that Cid had picked up. It was when he walked towards the back of the store to confront John that he grabbed it. The book in question was a self-help book called “Improving the Mind”. Cid himself couldn’t even remember why he originally grabbed that book.
Cid: “Oh, that's ok. I don’t think I need it.”
John: “If you are worried about money you can have this for free.”
Cid: “Well I don't even remember why I even picked it up in the first place. Besides, you gave me all the advice I think I need.”
John: “Nonsense, there is always more to learn and more advice to hear. Besides, you strike me as a person who overthinks things, and books like these often contain techniques for meditation, which I think would be helpful for you.”
He then tossed the book towards Cid. As he caught the book, he thought that the letters on the cover shifted into strange symbols for a brief moment. He just assumed it was a trick of the light, chalking that oddity up to being late and tired.
Cid: “You really don’t have to.”
John: "Just take it. When your mind starts overthinking things, practice some of the meditation techniques in that book and empty out your mind. Trust me. Meditation can reduce your stress and open yourself up to new perspectives and possibilities. It’s just an all-around good thing to be doing."
Cid: “Sigh. If you really insist. Anyways, thanks again for everything.”
John: “Take care.” He said while waving Cid farewell.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Cid exited the store onto the street. It was very dark outside. It would have been pitch black at this time, if not for the street lights. He then heard a rumble of thunder that was then followed by rain.
Cid: “Shit,” he said, as he ran under the cover of another store's canopy.
Just when he thought that his luck was improving, this happened. It wasn't too heavy a rain, but the walk to his dorm was far from here. He'd be completely soaked by the time he got there.
He decided to wait a little. Cid hoped that it would be quick and stop in a little bit. He could have gone back into Mr Li store to wait out the rain, but he had said his goodbyes and felt a little embarrassed in doing so. Thus he decided to wait under the canopy until the rain would stop.
Even with the rain, Cid was feeling hopeful. He may have solved his financial problem and would finally start living for himself, instead of others expectations. Most of all, he was just happy to have made a friend.
During his arcane pursuit, he had abandoned his friendships. Believing that they would impede his growth, but the reality was that he really needed them. He needed someone to help set him on the right path. If he had someone he could talk to, he would never have considered his terrible redlight idea. It was truly a blessing to meet Mr Li.
Some minutes went by, but the rain did not cease. He was beginning to wonder if he should brave the weather or not. Cid then remembered the book he had received from Mr Li. He could just do some quick reading while he waited.
He pulled out the book in the dim streetlight and noticed it looked different. It was a simple paperback book when he first got it, but now it was bound in black leather and the title of the book was in an unknown language. Something about the mysterious language slightly disturbed him.
Cid: “What in the world?” he said, confusingly.
He wondered what was going on with this book. It was a very strange and unnatural thing. His mind began to race with possibilities of what this tome is, and of what secrets laid in its pages.
Cid absentmindedly opened the book without any thought or consideration of what he was doing. The content of the book was written in that same unsettling language as the cover. He flipped through the pages for a while before he stopped himself.
“What am I doing?” he thought while pausing.
Something was compelling him to do this. To take these actions without reason. It was just like when he first grabbed the book back in the store. Something was controlling his actions, but that wasn't entirely right. He consciously knew what he was doing, but not why.
He didn’t have time to process the peculiarities of the situation, before a black clawed hand reached out from the pages of the book, grabbing Cid’s face.
Cid wanted to scream, but was paralyzed and couldn't move a muscle. There was no one else on the street to see him in distress. He was completely at the mercy of the entity in the book. The hand itself looked like a shadow of a monstrous creature of enormous strength. The limb grew in size until its hand enveloped Cid's entire head.
“Please. Anyone, save me!” He could only express through his mind.
Darkness overcame his vision. There was no sound, no light, no motion, just darkness. He didn’t feel any pain, but he couldn’t feel anything else. It was quiet and he was left to his own thoughts.
“Where am I? What was that creature? What was that book? Why is this happening to me? Wait, am I dead?” these ideas raced through his head, but there were no answers given to his questions.
A strange sensation overcame Cid. A feeling of something alien worming into his mind, something that did not belong there. His thoughts were no longer becoming his own. He couldn’t tell what was happening to himself anymore, until he suddenly did.
Realization washed over Cid. It all made sense. There was a pattern and he was a part of it. He could see it, and even more so, he could predict it. He could utilize his numerology magic to decipher it and control it. In doing so he would finally find his place in it all.
Cid opened his eyes. He was still standing under the canopy alone and the rain had stopped for now. He had a big twisted smile on his face. The eerie black book was still in his hands. He flipped through some more pages before closing it. There was no more confusion in his face at the alien language of the book, only recognition. He was no longer the same person, yet he didn’t change, he just became more.
He prepared to leave and head back to his dorm, acting as if nothing had happened. But before he could leave, hollowed tapping sound that echoed throughout the street. It took Cid a minute to realize that it was the sound of footsteps, specifically heels on stone.
Cid looked down the street to see a person walking towards him. After the experience he just had, Cid believed that there was nothing in this world that could scare him, and yet, his face turned pale at the approach of this individual.
There were still terrifying things that existed in this world.