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Chapter Two: Excellent Design

Traipsing through the forest, I took every now and then to yank the bark off of a tree. To my surprise, not all of them had armies of miniature creatures living inside them. They did have different patterns on the insides, which was just amazing, and none of them looked the same.

I paused in front of the biggest tree I've seen so far. It wasn't the biggest tree I've ever seen, but there was no doubt in my mind it was the greatest. Its bark spiraled and twisted upward and unpredictable ways, some pathways opening and ending without any visible pattern. The ridges in it were almost as wide as my hand, and I probably could have easily put ten of myself around it. Small offshoots of it stabbed through the ground, rising up and over it in spots. The grass doesn't look injured by it, instead opting to sit next to it and furthering my opinion of the quality.

A foreign mind slowly approached, and I promptly set a link up. Hello! I'm Shold'ler. Who are you?

Carefully, tediously, the mind responded. What are you? You show no worry towards my presence.

I shrugged, wondering where he was hiding. He had a rough voice, and in my experience, that meant he preferred a bulkier body. So why couldn't I see him yet? I'm not sure what you mean by 'what', but I'm just waiting for you to show yourself. This world is crazy, right?

The tone of the mind... sagged, for lack of a better word. Your kind have not visited in a long time, Old One. Why are you here?

What in the world is he talking about? I'm only a few forevers old. Grandpa's an infinite eternity and a half. If I'm an 'Old One', then he's... I don't know, an Older One? Shaking my head, I told him, I'm here because... I paused as I remembered exactly why I was here. Not important. Seriously, where are you!?

I am right before you. I have been here a long time, Old One. Long enough that kingdoms and empires have risen and fallen around me, and yet my life would be but a blink next to yours.

I nodded slowly. So... you're the tree. Don't know why anything would want to look like a tree when it could be literally anything else, but I wasn't one to judge. I once tried being a space squid, and I can't imagine it was much weirder than that. His terminology confused me - I didn't know some of the words he used, even though the link was supposed to translate everything.

A slight tone of irritation brushes beneath his voice. Yes, I am. You seem less... reserved... than the other one.

I brightened. Oh, someone else has been here? Where'd they go?

For lack of a better word, the tree slumped. A few leaves fell off, which worried me a little, but it didn't seem to notice. I do not know. Please, leave me.

With a concentrated effort, I managed a decent shrug. Okay. Where should I go?

Several of the tree's monolithic limbs curled around to indicate. a direction. The last one to pass this way came from there.

Using some of my hair/tentacles (hairtacles?), I tried for a sort of neat little wave. Thanks a lot! Is there a specific speed I need to go at to get there?

As fast as you can, preferably. The tree sounded tired. He probably didn't get a lot of visitors.

Turning on my heel, I faced the direction he'd pointed in and took a breath. Concentrating my mental energy into a point, I created a nice little vacuum in front of me and launched away at top speed. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten the whole forest thing, and I only had a few seconds of high-speed movement before I slammed facefirst into a tree.

The impact made everything inside me jar, like my whole psyche got a jolt. Tumbling head over heels, I ended up in a crumpled heap.

Shaking my head, I got to my feet and brushed my undamaged robes off, then froze. The tree, the magnificently designed masterpiece of a decoration, had been ripped out of the ground by my momentum. Incredible physics cont - wait, not the time!

Moving over to it, I frantically ran my hands over it. What was I supposed to do!? I couldn't make one of these! Checking the place where it'd been over, I found torn dirt and clods of ripped grass, along with the jagged lower portion of the tree still partially sticking out of the ground. Which meant... even the inside of the tree had been built so it'd have a reaction to something smashing into it.

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I forced myself to calm down. If whoever had made these had designed them to break in such a way, he or she probably didn't mind all that much if one or two of them were broken. Still, looking at the ugly gash where the tree had been... hurt. A masterfully made painting that had been scratched over.

Well... the designer wouldn't mind if I tried to fix it, right?

With a small burst of power, I mentally lifted the tree's separated section and carefully moved it over the grounded section. I couldn't bring myself to sever the torn part. It would be like... like not having physics and just making everything go down whenever someone visited. Faking it and pretending it never happened. With an sigh, I levitated the tree a few inches above where it was supposed to be and made a little pocket in the reality's physics so it would stay there. Stepping back, I checked it over a few times. Aside from the shoddy physics job, it seemed... pretty okay. Satisfied, I left it there.

Turning around, I suddenly realized I had no idea which direction I was supposed to be heading in. I couldn't even head back to the rude tree, because I didn't know which way I'd been coming from!

I sat down, my legs stretching out in front of me as I stopped to just think. I was essentially lost in what was by far the greatest reality I'd ever been in. Everything was impeccably designed. Everything had detail, depth, and weight to it. So... that meant this place couldn't possibly be too big. Nobody, no matter how unbelievably smart and creative and wow this guy was amazing, whoever he was, could design... say, a giant series of interconnecting landscapes. Grandpa made one of those once, but it was hard to get around. The physics hadn't always been consistent, the design was two-dimensional, and it'd overall been a kind of uncomfortable experience. He'd discarded it, and nobody really talked about it after that.

Anyway, it was safe to assume that I didn't have far to walk before I ran into something. Hopefully something that wasn't a tree.

Picking myself up, I started walking.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I was still walking.

Watching the ground move under my feet and stepping over one of those things where the tree partly sticks out of the grass, I couldn't help but wonder just how big this place was. Even the inexplicable amount of detail that went into each and every single tree was beginning to somehow get a little boring. I still paused every now and then to appreciate a particularly striking one, but overall they began to look similar. A singular main section, a lot of smaller ones, leaves everywhere. Considering the originality I'd seen so far, I was surprised none of the trees... I don't know, floated or something? I suppose the one I'd broken earlier counted as a floating tree, but everything I'd seen thus far seemed to consistently follow gravity consistently.

Maybe that was the point? That trees with expansive canopies and weird leaves could stand around, each one with a slightly different way its main section was shaped, could stand all on their own and defy gravity? I knew they obeyed it sometimes. The one I'd broken had fallen to the ground just fine. So that meant... they had some sort of-

Oh, the underground parts! The bits that almost got ripped out of the ground when I hit that other tree! So the trees have an anchor to hold them into the ground! Nobody I know would have thought of that! Either the others back home are kind of lazy, or this person is just an absolute genius.

Everything I've seen so far seemed to lean towards the latter.

I nearly tripped as I tried to take a step over a tree-anchor, my foot catching on the raised section, and sprawled to the ground. Ideally, I would have gracefully caught myself telekinetically, but I still hadn't gotten used to the weight of everything, and so my face hit the dirt. My hairtacles helped to push my head out of the grass.

Right in front of me was a bush.

I stared at it for a brief moment, and then scrambled to my feet. Running over to it, I paused to inspect it a little closer, mind racing. This guy made bushes too!? Did they have as much variety as the trees? Were they as detailed, or would I find hollow emptiness behind the green shield of leaves protecting its outside?

Reaching forward, I pulled the leaves aside...

...and was hit in the face by something.

Staggering backward, I automatically grabbed at it with the first limb that could react, and my hairtacles tugged the thing off. Whatever it was, it didn't like that at all. It had brown fur, with a poofy tail attached to the butt and shortish claws. Spinning and twisting in my grip, it aimed its head at me and did something. A hole opened up in its face, with tiny white things secured along the bottom and full of reddish material. I didn't have the slightest clue what it was doing, but... maybe it was trying to be intimidating?

Whatever it was, it was very well made. It made a lot of rapid movements and sudden changes in direction, almost as if it couldn't make up its mind which way it wanted to go. Granted, it was a bit ugly, but beauty in the eye of the beholder and all that. Of course, it's no excuse to continually bring up if your design is just straight-up bad, but whoever made this place has repeatedly proven that they're a prodigy in worldbuilding, so a little give could be granted there.

Releasing it, I watched it scurry away and tackle a nearby tree, climbing up it with startling speed despite the complexity of the intervening branches. It turned one last time to open its face-hole at me, and then disappeared into the canopy of leaves far above.

Shaking my head, I turned back around to examine the bush a little better. The leaves of this particular specimen are a dark shade of green, with curling tips and spiked sides. Small clusters of bright red spheres are attached to certain branches, which is interesting. I've never seen anything like them before.

I really wanted to keep this place as undamaged as possible... but the tree was made to be breakable, right? It wouldn't destroy physics if I pulled one off to get a better look. That'd just be ridiculous.

Crouching, I plucked a sole orb off and hold it a little closer to my face, inspecting it a little closer.

And something hit me in the back of the head.