Before I knew it, I was already awake, staring up at the unfamiliar leather cieling.
I... I just stared, quietly, thinking about last night.
So many things happened...
But, much more importantly, are the things that were left unfinished.
I still had a score to settle with the wench. And I know where she is.
The only question here, was when I would go. I don't want her to be able to prepare.
But... I wouldn't be able to prepare, either...
"... Damn it..."
I pulled myself up, and sat on the bedding. But I immediately winced, when I felt a dull pain from my wounds.
"He does... a very good job at fixing others up, for a former slummer." I muttered to myself, as I traced my fingers along the bandages.
They were fixed onto me tightly, but, at the same time, they weren't uncomfortable. I could also feel stitching underneath the thick layer of cloth.
"I'll need to visit an actual healer soon... I don't want to live my life with scars on my skin..."
I tried getting off the bed. But... I suppose that was a tall order.
"Mngh...!"
With my adrenaline high gone, I now needed to deal with the fatigue, the wounds that I recieved, and the muscle pains that come with riding a horse at full speed, for almost an hour.
"... hm?"
It was only after having to endure the onset of full pain, did I finally notice my current state.
My clothes had been changed. I mean.. that much was to be expected.
But... These articles were clearly feminine.
Thin beige leggings, an oversized white v-neck, and underneath, a set of simple black underwear.
These were...
There were my clothes. From my carriage...
How...? I thought they burned it all.
"Good morning."
A heard a voice from the tent entrance.
There he was, Anthony, sticking his head inside, while an arm held the tent flap up, letting the sunlight in.
"Have some breakfast."
He walked inside, with a wooden bowl in one hand, and a glass of water in the other.
"... Thanks." I responded, with my head down. My calm heartbeat, after having just woken up, was getting wild, again.
Inside was...
"Porridge again?!"
I... I didn't mean to shout, but come on! I've had to endure this for a month! Not even a little bit of variety?!
"There's really nothing else left? Not even some beans, or nuts?" I continued.
"I don't know if you've forgotten, but the Culmination doesn't have money. Any good food, is immediately given to the few nobility that remain. At least you're not subsisting on tasteless soup."
I... I went quiet. But... in a way, I couldn't bring myself to care about this country. All of them can starve, for all I care.
But only once I'm done taking my revenge.
It may not have been appetizing. But, I was hungry. So I ate as quickly as I could. While he sat down on the ground beside me.
I didn't want to just eat silently, though. Especially not after everything that had happened, and of course, that... REALLY embarrassing outburst last night.
"Hey... umm... Anthony. How do you have my clothes...?"
I chose the first topic that I could think of, and he nodded in response.
"The Commander wanted some of your personal effects to use as leverage over your family. It's... standard procedure in the army." While saying as much, he grabbed a knapsack from my bedside. Then, from inside, he produced a leatherback...
"That's... My journal..." He handed it to me, with its golden lock pried open, and some burns on the edges.
I couldn't help but cry again, as I recieved it.
With shaking hands, I opened the cover, and found it.
On the first page, was the crayon drawing of myself, a boy my age, and a small lizard between us. With oversized heads, bright smiles, and big eyes.
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I turned that yellowed page over, and behind it, I saw the first entry. Written in messy ink, I had many mistakes that were crossed out.
'06/30'
'It's my eighth birthday!'
'Mother gave me an egg! It's bigger than my head! She says I need to hatch and raise it carefully, because it will become my best friend!'
'But I don't know how to take care of it! I looked at some books from father's library, and it said that birds sit on eggs.'
'But when I tried to sit on it, one of the maids said I wasn't a bird, and it was not the right thing to do.'
'Of course, I'm not a bird! Alice is a silly dummy.'
'Oh! And Wayne gave me this journal as a gift! I'll be writing my most amazing experiences here!'
'But he couldn't come to my birthday. That's okay, though! We'll see each other again, next week for mother's class!'
"..."
"20 years..."
I muttered weakly, before closing the journal again. When I did, tears dripoed down my cheek, onto the faded leather cover.
"I've had this journal, for 20 years of my life... Given everything that's happened... I never even thought about it, until now. But..."
I stared up at him...
Why...?
Why is it, that everything he's doing, is just making me fall for him, more and more.
What's wrong with you...?
"Thank you so much... You've given me, my life back..." I held the book close, squeezing it against my chest, while his hand grabbed the half-eaten bowl of porridge.
"It's okay. You don't have to thank me." He gave me a small smile, then took the porridge bowl away, while passing me the glass of water. "Here."
Of course, not wanting my journal to be damaged, I set it aside, away from anything that could damage it.
"You gave me a fresh start in life. I gave you back yours. It's only fair." He continued, before leaning back, keeping an eye on me, as I drank.
"Thank you..." I wiped the tears off my face, then gave him a smile of my own. I know the scene outside, was surely that of carnage.
But in here, it was my own slice of heaven. A breath of fresh air, from the hell I've had to endure for so long.
And...
"You really have to stop thanking me, alright? Now, drink up, you still have a morning routine to perform before we leave for south."
Most of all, my angel was here. Watching over me.
I just felt so warm, in his presence.
I'd stay in this peaceful heaven forever, if I could.
If only I could...
"Anthony..."
I placed both hands on my lap and tried to wipe all emotion off my face. Though, I'm sure that I failed.
"You've already helped me so much, but... I want to ask one more favor of you."
"Of course, what is it?"
He gave me a reassuring, thin smile and nodded again. Truly... He was my brown-haired guardian angel.
But...
"I want you to take me to the Coalition Capital."
Unfortunately, I'm nothing more than just another wench consumed by her desire for revenge.
***
"I want you to take me to the Coalition Capital."
"What...?"
Of course, he glared at me. Why wouldn't he?
I chuckled for a bit, before gesturing with my finger for him to get closer. With that, he was pulled towards me with my magic, unable to resist.
"I understand that you'd be angry. But, please. Help me. If you don't, then..."
I paused for a moment.
"... Then, I'll just go by myself, without you. If you think I'm just going to stop here, then you're completely wrong. Do you understand?"
"... Hmph!" He scoffed at me, before his hands coiled around my neck.
I...
I couldn't even fathom that he'd do such a thing.
"You've already frozen up." He commented before letting go. "Do you really think that you should be going anywhere, other than back home? I thought I wouldn't have to tell you this."
"You can't just tell me to forget about it! I need to dig a knife into that wench's chest, before I can even think of doing anything else!"
"Be smart about this, Guila!" He curled up his fists, turning them white. Seeing that, I released my hold on his body.
"Do it, Anthony... Beat me up. But it won't change what I want to do. Once you drag me out of the border, I'll just walk right back in."
"No..." He released his grip on himself, sighing with a shocked expression. Almost looking as if... He was disgusted at himself?
"I wasn't going to do that."
"I know. Don't worry. Again, I understand you're frustrated by what I'm saying. But... Please... I need your help to do this. You're the only one that I can ask..." I held his hands, gently.
"YOU'RE ASKING ME TO LET YOU RISK YOURSELF, LIKE YOU'VE MADE YOUR PARENTS DO!"
... what?
"Don't bring my parents into this, okay?! They didn't want to let me go, but I forced them to let me. This is different!"
"Then it's even more worse! Don't you get it, yet?! You need to go back to them! To tell them that you're okay! That they still have a daughter!" He gripped my shoulders, and roared at by face, with his forehead just inches away from mine.
... He can't hold his anger when he has something to care about. That's to be expected from his upbringing.
So, as calmly as I could, I stared into his eyes, and carresed the back of his hand.
"My parents... They love me more than anything. If you were my brother, or my father. I could never convince you. I'm sure of that." I gripped my elbows, as the memories of my family's faces resurfaced.
News of my capture must've reached them by now, right?
What would they be feeling right now?
Surely they were worried and scared, right?
Of course, they are!
"But... You're not them. How can I convince you to take me to where I want to go?"
"YOU CAN'T, OKAY?! I'M NOT LETTING YOU RISK YOURSELF! PERIOD!"
I guess... Everyone has a fuse. His might be short. But... the longer that he roared, the shorter mine got, too.
More and more, red took over my vision again.
I've started seeing him as an enemy...
"... You say that, now...! But why didn't you break me out earlier, huh?Why did you let me suffer for an entire month, and played Nanny for most of that time?! Huh?! Was that to satisfy some sort of kink?!"
"Alright, you know what?! Don't you dare make that sort of assumption, again!"
"WHY?! EVERYONE IS A SICKO IN THEIR CORE, ARENT THEY?!" Perhaps I had a pretty short fuse, myself, and I roared right back at him.
"I CAN ADMIT THAT I'M ONE! WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE FOR WAITING SO LONG?!
"YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE-"
It's... It's almost amazing how quickly things could go sour, once you say the wrong words.
"WELL?! BEAT ME INTO SUBMISSION, THEN! THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE TAUGHT IN THE ARMY, RIGHT?! TEACH ME TO BE GRATEFUL!"
"IF YOU WANT IT SO BADLY, THEN-"
I could see his face, red with anger, every time he roared, spit came out his lips. And... mine stuck to his face, as well.
I... I don't want it to end like this, all of a sudden.
With us losing our breaths and panting from our yelling.
I've already lost more than enough...
I can't lose you too...
Ever so slowly, with tears building up in my eyes, I laid my hands on his shoulders and drew my face closer.
Then, I kissed him. Right in the lips.
"I trust you, Anthony. So, please... Trust me, too. I can handle myself. As long as... you're with me." My voice cracked.
"I..."
"Please... I need you." I pressed my forehead against his, and whispered.
"I don't want to go home, like this. Home to my family, while a disgusting mess... I've lost my right to marry nobility... I've been physically and emotionally scarred..."
"I..." Tears ran down my cheeks. "I can't go home... Until I can at least hold my head up high... Please..."
"I'll just kill myself... if you force me to..."
"..."
For a moment, I saw his gaze tremble. Then, I felt his rough palms on my cheeks.
And finally...
He kissed me back.
I recieved him with elation, letting myself be pushed back down against the bed.