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Eight Steps to Immortality
Chapter 1 - An Unstickable Death

Chapter 1 - An Unstickable Death

“Fila Fall was born to die, as we all are, but unfortunately his death never seemed to stick.

When he was born and wailed his first cries, as all babied are entitled to, for they have been forced to sign a contract with no words, a grasshopper jumped into the baby’s wide-open mouth and get trapped in it’s airways. So Fila spent the first moments of life choking to death. It would have been funny if it weren’t so sad.

His dances with death did not end there. As a child he'd try to play with scorpions, try to run off every cliff, try to eat every berry. But I, of course, was there to save him through every moment.

But, oh, how Fila Fall was determined to change that.

No Fila, appreciated none of my contributions, instead deciding to run towards death after death, never learning or growing, but instead condemning me to act as an eternal guardian whose words Fila was deaf to.

And so ended the story of Fila Fall. He died as he lived. A fool. A hopeless moron. A bumbling, grumbling, dumbling idiot. “He died too young,” said nobody, because anyone who knew Fila Fall knew that his lifespan had already exceeded 15 years past its expiration date. Thanks to me, of course.”

Fila was speechless. He had thought that if he ignored him, the devil would eventually stop, but he just kept going and going. The devil certainly had a way with words. A way that made anyone who heard them want to kill themselves. If he was killable, Fila would have done so long ago, but unfortunately the devil was in his head, and Fila could not flick off his own head without facing some potentially fatal consequences. Not yet, at least.

Fila wished that at least having the devil in his head provided him with any benefit, but alas, no. Fila somehow made a deal with the only useless devil in all of Ailan, so now he had what felt like a permanent buzz in his ear.

“So in Fila’s determination to die, he decided to progress towards the Nest, disregarding his guardian’s brilliant advice, instead trusting his own hubris and—”

“If you didn’t like the plan, you could have just said that, no need for the soliloquy.”

Fila pushed through the leaves and branches in front of his face to view the massive structure before him. A fully white mountain covered by silk rather than snow stood there like a giant. It reached to the skies touching its floors, where the clouds rested. Fila was still not sure whether it was covered by silk or made of silk, as he had never gotten the chance to visit. Fila and the devil named the mountain the Nest.

As to why they called it the Nest, they currently were 200 meters away from the cave opening of the mountain that appealed to Fila's current goal, but it was currently guarded by a creature, a kvesh, an abnormally large bug species domestic to Nitich. It lazed into the mountain lurking below the 20 meter opening. Unfortunately a functional decision rather than a stylistic one.

This kvesh was not one of the bigger ones though which was far worse for Fila. The smaller kvesh, which were still a slightly larger size of a regular human, were quicker, sneakier, natural born-survivors because they had to be, all descriptions that fit Fila himself. The small ones were the ones to be worried about. Fila could not see the distinct characteristics of the creature but considering its shape and size it had to be one of the mantis, cricket, or ant-variants. Somehow even worse was that the kvesh was covered by a bright yellow shell that stood out against the white canvas it laid on.

“We can barely handle a Green, a Yellow is clearly above our level. Why don't we just come back another day?” the devil said.

"Last time we did reconnaissance there were two Greens. Now there's a Yellow. Based on your track record, the next time we come back here the kvesh will be Red. “

"Hey, we both agreed that we should leave last time. So what, you’re just going to deal with the Yellow, all the other kvesh that are probably inside, find an object provided by one of the gods themselves, and get out unscathed? I’m fairly sure that is the definition of hubris.”

Fila ignored the devil’s words and reached his hand out of the trees to expose it to the sun. He shifted his eyes upwards to examine the blue skies. In the distance he could see clouds creeping towards the valley. They were coming for him again.

“Perfect,” Fila said.

“What?”

“Hubris is only hubris if there’s a downfall. The only downfall that’s happening here will be on this kvesh’s proportionally small head.”

”Why couldn’t someone reasonable have ended up in that damned cave,” the devil sighed.

"If a useful devil offered me a contract, we wouldn't be here either," Fila reminded him.

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The devil went silent at last.

Fila climbed down the tree made of chitin. The chitin tree was semi-translucent and smooth, but there were well-defined ridges and segments like a spine, getting thicker the further down Fila traveled, making it an easy descend. It was a strong tree, the only type of tree in the land that survived to this day. It was very unlike Fila, being tall, proud and resilient, and yet he respected it. Those who were too tall, too proud, too enduring were all fated to suffer and die, except, if one had enough strength. Then they could be proud, tall, lecherous, deceitful, evil, there were no consequences for the powerful. The evidence was in the chitin tree. Most of Nitich was dead, but here a grove of powerful chitin trees stood.

On his way to the ground, he grabbed a chitara fruit from one of the branches. He bit into it and was first hit by a faint sweetness, but then was overwhelmed by its grossly bitter taste. Fila winced, but continued to eat the fruit until just its core remained. He never got used to that taste, even though he ate the same meal everyday. There was nothing else to eat in the land. Kvesh meat was rancid and mawlers were too strong for him to deal with, so chitara fruit it was every single day.

Fila dropped onto the dry and barren ground with a thud and left the tree’s shadows, allowing the sun to get a good view of him. The clouds behind the mountain top now began to race towards him instead of creeping. A great wind flowed through Fila's hair, making a shiver run down his spine.

Fila threw the core as close to the kvesh as possible, not managing to throw it more than 30 meters away, but the kvesh still noticed its presence. Fila knew that most kvesh had poor eyesight, but compensated with superior senses of smell, meaning the bittersweet smell of the chitara fruit would attract the kvesh. Fila just stood there in front of the grove.

The kvesh answered Fila’s challenge, confidently striding towards him, kicking dust into the air. The ground was hard, rocky and sparse of any life whatsoever, just like everything else in the area. Even the chitin tree's white background contributed to the achromatic gloom, so Fila stood out like a lake in a desert.

Fila had a better view of the creature as it drew near and could see its slender forelimbs armed with serrated spines sharper than a scorpion's stinger. All of the six eyes from the kvesh’s triangular head peered into Fila’s two, completely focused on its prey. A mantis then. It was not as small as it appeared when it was further away, being twice times his size, and it slowed down when it reached the chitara core, 30 meters away. It looked down at the core, and picked it up awkwardly with it's razor arms, then threw it at Fila. It shot over his head, smashing into the tree. Then it crouched.

Fila gulped. Every movement would matter here. Greens were simple because despite their advanced strength and speed, they had no distinct traits to worry about, at least not in kvesh. Fila had killed his fair share of Greens before. But Yellows had harder exoskeletons, stronger bodies, faster reflexes, and had synergistic traits at this point. Fila had never killed a Yellow before. Fila was fairly sure that the mantis’s main trait must be its forelimbs as they were more blade than arm, and much larger proportionally than expected. The mantis could have a second trait, but it was unlikely considering Fila had never seen a kvesh with more than one. Then again he's never seen a Yellow before either.

Fila took out an orange glove from a leather pouch that hung by his hip. It had a small rune on its back that Fila could not read, as he was no Radulan. But he did know how to use it.

The mantis interrupted his thoughts, leaping towards Fila, extending its forearms outwards. Fila rolled out of the way, causing the mantis to cut down the chitin tree instead in one great strike with more efficiency and grace than an axe could ever hope to have.

The mantis crouched, preparing for another quick strike, which was Fila’s sign to quickly don the orange glove. Fila snapped, summoning a spark above his curled fingers that grew into a roaring flame that blasted the mantis.

The creature was set completely ablaze and screamed in pain; its head pointed towards the skies. A regular *kvesh* would have burned to death, but this one seemed only emboldened by the fire.

The Yellow lowered its head, squinted its eyes towards Fila and crouched, still doused in flames. Fila, expecting this, ran backwards where there were more chitin trees in the grove.

The mantis chittered, and leapt at Fila again, like a flaming scythe. Fila jumped and climbed onto another tree, quickly jumping from segment to segment, trying to buy as much time as possible. The mantis cut through the tree, felling it and Fila to the ground. He was forced on his back where he saw the skies again.

The clouds were almost upon him.

“Have you been keeping count?” He asked the devil in a panic.

“I thought you didn't want me to talk.”

The mantis charged.

"Please!" Fila screamed.

Fila looked at the mantis’s impending charge and jumped backwards on four limbs causing the mantis's strike to land at his feet. Fila got up and ran, and the mantis followed running parallel to him, and sliced at his head.

“Only because you asked so nicely. Five more.”

Fila grit his teeth and rolled under the mantis’s burning blades, singing his hairs.

”Four.”

The mantis's strike crashed into another tree. Its arms got trapped halfway through. The flames were passed onto the tree like a disease, and the grove that had already been blazing was now filled with smoke. Fila got low into the smoke, hoping that it could mask his frame and smell.

“Three.”

The mantis’s senses were sent into disarray, causing it to leap from tree to tree, searching for Fila, but Fila laid completely still within the smoke. Fila could no longer observe the state of the sky for his world was one full of darkness, but prayed to the gods who no longer seemed to pay attention to him that the mantis would be close enough to get hit, but far enough to not hit him.

“Two.”

Fila jumped from the thin layer of smoke on the ground and threw another flame at the mantis and ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction, towards the Nest. The flame missed, passing just over its head and hitting a tree that was already afire. The mantis screamed a cry of victory and pounced towards Fila’s running body.

“One.”

Time slowed to a still around both Fila and the mantis. The sounds of the flickering flames were drowned by a sharp whistle coming from above. Fila smiled. The heavens had come for him once again. But they continued to miss. The creature looked up to the source of the sound and was met by one of the innocent-looking clouds Fila had been monitoring. Another creature got to learn a lesson that Fila had learned long ago. Looks are always deceiving. The mantis was crushed in an instant.

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