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Echoes of Citadel
Useless little guns

Useless little guns

The KF-41 "MiniPistol" is an effective and compact weapon for neutralizing threats to life and limb while minimizing damage to one's coworkers and company resources.

So sayeth the current Trioptimum advertisement, or words to that effect. Judging by how many of the things were scattered all over Citadel I think it must have been pretty effective.

But that cute little sentence presupposes a couple things about the threat. Such as:

1. It moves no faster than the top running speed of the average human being (~20-25 miles per hour)

2. It is no farther than ~25 feet away

3. It's unarmed, or armed with only melee weapons

4. It isn't armored in any meaningful way

5. It is visible to the unaided eye

6. There's only ONE threat

Notice how many things on this list didn't apply to the poor souls aboard Citadel Station. On top of all those assumptions about whatever's trying to kill you, let's also suppose that the person using it has actually practiced live-firing at least one full clip and reloading, at least once per month, in a functional firing range.

This is probably the biggest demand of anyone who actually think they can save themselves or others with a snubnosed purse popper like the KF-41. Plinking a few soda cans off your balcony or a crudely scrawled target in the back end of a shipping container do not make you a competent user. It makes you someone who can send lead in the general direction of a stationary target that isn't trying to rip your face off. Rag on Trioptimum all you like, I'll gladly do it with you, but when you go to a company certified range you'll get a couple things that you won't get from Bob's Backalley Bulletflinging.

First you learn how to NOT blow your own hand off or shoot the person next to you by accident. Then you go in front of hologram generators that make up scary-looking things to forcefully simulate the stresses of fighting for your life in a kill-or-be-killed situation. If you do this enough times you will start learning how to compensate for being pumped full of adrenaline and still actually hit the target while adjusting for things like firing angle and ballistic drop over distance. Eventually you'll learn to be able to do this several times on the same target in succession because you cannot count on a single 9mm round to drop your target dead instantly. All together meaning that you might be able to kill something before it kills you.

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You'll also be forced to learn how to properly reload instead of fuss around trying to put in a new clip backwards or upside-down until someone nearby takes pity on your dumb ass. A combat situation does not allow for time to watch a MeChannel video for instructions when your gun suddenly stops going 'bang' or a round jams because the KF-41 is made with about the same level of quality control as a toaster oven.

I pity anyone who tried to defend themselves with one of these things when the closest they'd ever gotten to shooting anything was clicking a button on a game controller. Imagine how they must have felt, pulling it out from the back of some forgotten drawer with maybe a couple dozen rounds. If they killed the first thing that came their way then the second one probably got them while they stood out in the open like a deer in headlights. If a SecBot came knocking I'd bet my best laptop that they waited to see how much the first shot hurt it instead of ripping off rounds until they saw it fall down. And since the only way to get an Infrared scope on a KF-41 is unauthorized 'makers', they'd have had no chance at all against the invisible mutants.

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Break free from counting bullets with the TB-05 Sparqbeam Sidearm - self-defense with no reloading!

As a lot of people have found out the hard way, you exchange reloading for recharging with a directed energy weapon. And a cooling system likely to overload at a critical time where being unable to shoot means dying messily.

These issues have plagued handgun-sized DEW's since the ancestor of the TB-05, the E-01, best known for its internal lenses breaking if dropped too hard. Not a whole lot has changed except size and shape. Instead of bullet drop you get damage falloff at range. And unless you're carrying a very high end battery you will run out of 'ammo' much sooner than you think - at which point you run out of juice for doing everything else. It's bad enough to hear the 'fizz' of an undercharged Sparq but when your energy shields are also now seconds from failing makes for a very bad time. Besides which, for some incomprehensible reason a factory new TB-05 has exposed power coils which are all to easy to grab by accident. Many of the corpses on Citadel that had Sparqbeams laying next to them also a burn mark on the hands or fingers. Either from accidental direct contact with the coils or when the damn things arced after the unit was set to Overcharge.

A variant without an Overcharge setting could have bought a lot of survivors more time; it's wasteful on unarmored enemies and low-level robots not to mention it leaves you vulnerable after one blast. Despite spectacular results on humanoid threats it's a death sentence to a nervous novice who can barely hit the broad side of a hovervan.

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