“You’ve gone from speculation to pure fiction!”
She stood up as she chastised Ronan. The man on the right followed suit while the other seemed to double down in the frustrated grasping of his fists. Ronan didn’t react to their outrage and remained in place with his same confident smile. The woman had started to pace back and forth behind the desk and the man who stood walked around to the front of it and stared into Finlay’s eyes with uncomfortable ferocity.
“What exactly are you trying to see in him, Gilbert?” Ronan asked.
“You seem rather certain of your outlandish claim, I want to know why.”
“Well, it’s certainly not from staring at him.”
“Then why?”
“Surely it crossed your mind when you read the report, what other explanation could there be?”
“Humans can’t devour spirits,” the man on the left grumbled though he never looked up.
“An assumption we’ve held for years, but not one that had any real merit beyond our limited understanding,” Ronan replied.
It was confusing; they worked with spirits, made contracts with them and had experience with the devoured, was his situation that unique? Had his time with the spirit in the sanctuary been something they’d never heard of before, never experienced? He assumed it was commonplace for these people, that the guild would have had many experiences like his but their reaction suggested otherwise.
“When I spoke to the spirit,” he felt the need to say something, to give more context but he still wasn’t sure what the right thing to say was. “It said the human soul was just another spirit. The only difference is we had a natural anchor to the physical world and that it was more likely to be devoured by me than the other way around, it’s part of why I trusted it.”
Ronan’s smile widened and the woman behind the desk stopped pacing to turn and face him. “You knew that was a possibility?”
“I didn’t really know anything, but the spirit seemed to think so. Or at least, that’s what it said, I didn’t think much of it afterwards because it lied about a lot of things.”
“Of course, you’re very new to this world, it’s understandable,” Ronan was patting his shoulder as he spoke.
“I’m still not convinced,” said the woman.
“Sara, I checked” Ronan’s smile disappeared as he took on a serious expression. “I spent three weeks investigating the structure and there was no sign of the spirit, there was no indication of elevated Anam either.”
He wasn’t familiar with the word or what Ronan meant by this. He had investigated the sanctuary—had he got inside? Was there even a structure left or had it destroyed itself completely? He wanted to ask more questions, he hadn’t realised how curious he was about what happened until it was right in front of him but this was definitely not the time or place to quelch that curiosity.
“That doesn’t mean he devoured it.”
“The structure was destroyed, the spirit wasn’t there and we know it was from this world but levels were normal meaning it didn’t dissipate, nor cross over. So where did it go?”
No one could answer, the room fell silent but all he could think about were the questions running through his head. This felt like a conversation he wasn’t supposed to hear but it was about him and he wanted to know more. At the same time, the idea that he devoured the spirit was strange, he didn't feel any different than he had before. But given all he knew and what they had said, he wasn’t sure why they were so resistant to the idea that he might have.
“I don’t know—I don’t think that’s what happened, I mean… I don’t feel any different now than I did before and I wouldn’t know how to do that.”
Ronan spun around to face him, his smile returning and his eyes glistened. He knelt over in front of Finlay to look at him face-to-face. “You wouldn’t know how it felt because you’ve not learned how to tap into it, that’s part of what we teach here. Such a shame it happened to you before you learned that, but maybe…”
When he trailed off he turned on his heels and started to walk around the room. The other three watched him with puzzled expressions. Finlay couldn't help focusing on the idea he’d be learning how to feel a new part of himself. Feel his soul, his spirit, is that what he meant?
Gilbert looked as though he was about to say something when Ronan snapped his fingers and turned to them. “It was a part of his unconscious, not creating the bond kept it separate. That would explain everything!”
“You’ve not explained anything,” Sara replied with some exasperation.
“I need to check some things, this is important,” he turned and walked to the door.
“Leaving now—all you've done is cause disruption,” Gilbert said, now looking quite disgruntled.
“Sara,” Ronan said as he opened the door, ignoring the man. “Finlay’s already given us a lot and I expect will provide much more in the future, do make the right decision. Finlay—It was a pleasure to see you again. Until next time.”
He left and the three guild members that were interviewing him remained still and silent, as though a storm had passed and they were recovering themselves mentally. He was in a strange place, a lot of information had been thrown around him and with it, his reality had shifted considerably. But it also seemed he was certain to get through this stage which brought a flutter of relief within him.
“Well this was a waste of time,” the man on the left snapped before getting up and walking out of the room.
“It seems our decision has been made for us, I’m not sure if you’re fortunate or cursed, Finlay,” said Gilbert, following the other man.
Sara sighed as she sat on the front of the desk and looked at him. She leaned back on one hand, crossing her legs which didn’t reach the floor and started to spiral the lock of hair around the finger of her free hand as she had done earlier.
“Do you understand what just happened?”
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“Mostly, I guess.”
“Ronan is—” she hesitated, staring up at the ceiling while continuing to fiddle with her hair. “An important member of the guild so his opinion has a lot of sway.”
“I pieced that together.”
“Yes well, there are three things I want to say to you before we leave here. First, don’t feel like you only got through because he’s taken a liking to you. You’re a very strong candidate; honestly, we were more concerned about your safety going forward beyond anything else.”
He nodded but she wasn’t looking at him to notice.
“Second, you need to be careful, not just with the spirits but now apparently Ronan. He’s decided you’ve done something we didn’t think possible and he can get carried away with ideas even at the risk of others. Not that he’d deliberately put you in danger but he doesn’t always grasp the weakness of those around him.”
That was a concerning idea and something about her phrasing suggested he might need to reassess his evaluation of Ronan. He had assumed the man was a scholar of sorts, someone involved in researching the Ancients and the spirit world but that may have been misguided.
“Finally, the day isn’t over and not even Ronan can dictate how the next stage goes.”
“The next stage?”
“Normally we wouldn’t say much about it as you’ll be guided through it but under the circumstances, I should probably explain a few other things.”
She hopped off the desk and started pacing back and forth in front of him. “You heard him talk about the levels of Anam?”
“Yes.”
“As you’re probably aware we’ve struggled to properly transcribe the language of the Ancients. We have picked up a few key terms, words and other meaningful symbolism but we’re far away from having something understandable. Anam is a word that is used commonly, particularly within their invocation of spirits. We believe it refers to an essence that all living things contain and while we are physical—spirits are made entirely of Anam.”
“So when Ronan said he found no increase in Anam levels, that’s what told him the spirit hadn’t been destroyed or—”
“Yes, it’s not the same as killing a physical animal or creature. Spirits don’t have physical bodies, they are made of Anam so when you destroy a spirit, you break apart that Anam into the world. It becomes unstable and can no longer reform itself into the complete spirit but the Anam levels remain elevated, an overall increase. Though a lot of this is still speculative, we’re always finding more evidence that seems to support this concept.”
“The spirit talked about stability, that’s why anchoring to the physical body was so important.”
“Exactly, Anam is fluid, it exists everywhere and the structures, the shrine and likely the gateway at the mine you had the misfortune of dealing with are based around dense areas of Anam that run throughout the world.”
She stopped pacing at one of the corners of the table and rested against it before looking at the watch on her arm. At least he had assumed it was a watch at first but now paying attention to it he realised it was a screen that wrapped around her wrist.
“We created devices to measure our Anam levels, all guild members wear these,” she tapped the device on her wrist and it lit up, he couldn’t see details but it was full of text and other symbols.
“Everyone has a unique level, we know ways in which it can be developed and increased through training but there are still baselines. In the next selection stage, we measure Anam levels—if they aren’t sufficient the candidate won’t be accepted.”
She looked back at him. “This won’t be a problem for you. Higher Anam levels are protective against the miasma, this is why people experience it differently and as you’ve survived it twice it’s safe to assume you’re at a sufficient level.”
She paused for a moment, he was trying to absorb the information and was thankful to have her explain it. He had always wondered why the miasma had such drastically different effects on people and there were many claims associated with it, though none he had heard before matched what she was saying.
“Of course, if you really did devour that spirit, you’ll have even greater levels of Anam.”
“Is that why they do it?”
“Yes, the public thinks of the devoured as demons possessing people but in reality, it’s all about the Anam. Spirits have been observed devouring each other, so it’s not just related to us though there are unique benefits to having a physical body as you’ve established.”
“And if I devoured the spirit, it means I’ve absorbed the spirit's Anam.”
“Which is why Ronan was so excited about there not being any when he investigated. Now back on point, I doubt any of this will cause you problems, what might is the selection.”
“The selection?”
“The weapons we carry are all built by the Ancients. They work because they each have a spirit bound to them. It is likely very similar to the anchoring you discussed, but so far we have not been able to replicate the process so we are reliant on weapons we find. It’s one of the main reasons continued exploration into the realms is so important to us.”
“Does that mean the weapons are devouring the spirits you fight?”
“Exactly, I'm glad you're following. It also means that they get stronger as we fight. And there’s a risk to that, because if the weapons become too powerful, they may devour the user. This is why we monitor our own Anam levels closely, it seems that as long as we retain a balance where our Anam is higher than our spiritual weapon, we are safe but if that balance flips, we are at risk. This is why so many were devoured in the early days.”
“You monitor the levels of the weapon?”
“Yes, it’s all carefully monitored and also why it’s important for us to grow our own level.”
“I guess all of that makes sense, though I’m not quite sure why that’s a problem for me.”
“We don’t choose the weapon, they choose us.”
That was surprising and they were far away from any speculation or rumours that floated around about the guild and their chosen weapons. She didn't immediately continue but instead walked around the desk to sit back in her chair; she was sombre, more so than she had been but he wasn’t sure why the change in her mood.
“It seems people have certain affinities with spirits but we’ve been unable to determine what dictates that. To my original point, not even Ronan can force a spirit into choosing you. Given your experience, I questioned if there was perhaps something about you that deters them.”
“What would happen if I wasn’t chosen by any?”
What she said shocked him but he couldn’t deny it made sense. There was something within him, that blue light, the form that protected him from somewhere deep down that even the spirit was afraid of. Could it stop him from progressing, stop him from working with the spirits and obtaining one of the weapons of the Ancients?
“It doesn’t mean you can’t join the guild but it would certainly hinder you. People with lower Anam levels tend to train, work in offices and try newly discovered weapons. Those with higher levels of Anam can learn invocation—you can think of these as spells we’ve discovered written by the Ancients. They call upon specific powerful spirits and make temporary contracts to ask them to perform a task. You’ve experienced this first hand, it was how you were saved as a child.”
The barrier, the magic light that warded off the demons. He could learn to do that even if he couldn’t contract with a spirit, that would be enough, that would be something.
“I would be happy with that path as well.”
“There are downsides to that route but there’s no real reason for us to get into that right now. For all we know, you’ll have the pick of all the weapons, they might light themselves up desperate to contract with you.”
He smiled, she had been quite serious throughout their talk but seemed to be lightening now they had gotten through the difficult parts. “I suppose I won't find out until I go to the selection.”
“It appears so—I’m glad we had this talk, Finlay. I feel better knowing you understand rather than going into the next stage blind. But make sure you're careful and just because Ronan thinks whatever he thinks, it doesn’t mean you should take any extra risks.”
“Thank you, Sara, I really do appreciate you explaining all of this to me.”
“Alright then,” she stood and walked to the door. “Come on, I’ll take you to the next stage. I’ll admit it—I’m actually feeling a little excited at finding out how much Anam you have, and whether you really did devour that spirit.”