In the shadows of my mind, the demon hides. It still holds the warmth he left there in previous lives. It’s like he’s home from the throne. He isn’t defeated. He is beaten, but I don’t think I can ever get rid of him… I’m not sure I want to. He exists for a reason, doesn’t he? He grows stronger, but I don’t fear him anymore. I have accepted him. He is a vice. He is a part of the man. The man is me. The demon is a part of me. I will restrain him, and to do that I will restrain myself.

Mister Halliday explains the situation to my parents as clearly and slowly as he can. It can be hard to believe and overwhelming to accept - Demons are real. Your son is one.

I sit alone on a chair and watch him speak. My wounds and injuries are gone. They healed in my sleep like a refreshing breath. My parents sit on a couch on my left. My father leans forward with his elbows resting on his knees. My mother sits back with a hand on her stomach.

Mister Halliday sits on a couch on my right. He brought me home. He is still injured from our fight. It was only a few hours ago. His face is bruised. His collar is black. His neck shows no signs of when I burned him. His clothes are dirty and we both smell like smoke.

Through my special sense I can see a connection between my parents and a spider-shape on mister Halliday’s chest. Whatever he’s doing, it seems to be making them calmer and more understanding. I look at my parents. They look at me for a second and then look away.

Mister Halliday explains to them that he’s telling them this because it’s not something that blows over. It’s something that can very easily become a big part of life. They are my parents and they deserve to know, especially since it could affect them.

Then he explains that he wants to teach me.

We didn’t talk about that on the way here…

______

Life’s back too normal, besides the sudden existentialism that everybody’s having. Rumours are going around, of course. Religions saying that they were right, spreading the end times mantra. Some people aren’t coping well. They’d seen people fly and wield fire. They’d watched a chunk of Table Mountain disappear. Videos were circulating. It disturbed some. The things that they saw came close to a doomsday scenario. Some students at school, while watching the videos or overhearing the stories, started crying or having panic attacks. During class. During the break. Between classes. A teacher had to leave early even.

But for me, Sophia, Aubrey, my parents, whoever knew about the demons, and the demons themselves, life was back to normal. We understood what happened. We understood that what happened wasn’t a sign of anything. We understood that nothing, even a tenth of the intensity, was going to happen again anytime soon. Things now go back to the way they were before it happened.

“Do you want to go to the dance with me?”

I look at Sophia, walking alongside me with her bicycle

“Excuse me?” I ask.

She clears her throat. “The dance. The matric ball. Do you want to go with me?”

I hate dancing.

“Yes,” I say. That is not what I wanted to say. I wanted to say something like I like you but hate dancing and then ask her to a movie.

But sure, let’s go with this. I’m just going to trust that whatever possessed me to say yes knows what it’s doing.

“Really?”

No. “Yeah.”

“Oh… I didn’t take you for somebody who would like to go to a ball.”

I’m not. “It should be interesting.” I smile at her, she smiles back and we continue walking.

It stays quiet between us. It’s a good quiet, to just be in her presence. We’re approaching the road where we usually split up.

“I heard you, by the way,” she says as we stop at the road. “The first time I walked with you. I asked you if we’ve met before because you felt familiar… You didn’t look familiar. I just felt like I knew you.”

I turn to face her.

“You said that you felt the same... Do you think it has something to do with all of this?”

“Absolutely,” I say right away. “I’m not sure what, but yes.”

She nods, swings a leg over the bike and sits down then looks down at her front tire, tapping a finger on the handle bar. “Have you gotten any memories of a promise that somebody made to you?”

“I don’t… think so. Why?”

“Because I feel like I did… I don’t understand why and I originally thought I was going crazy, but maybe I’m not. When I came out to get you that night, I came because I felt like I made a promise to you. And when I found you, I knew—”

“You knew exactly what to say…”

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“Exactly! And I thought that maybe— I think that— I have been wondering if—”

“If you were reincarnated.”

“Yes. Does it sound crazy?”

I shake my head.

“I haven’t been getting any memories like you have, but I don’t know what else to think.”

I look at the rose keychain hanging from her neck. She strung it onto a necklace at some point and now she wears it everywhere…

“Maybe you were,” I say, “We may never know why we feel like this though. Reincarnation’s a bitch.” I laugh a bit and she smiles weakly.

“I guess so… See you tomorrow,” she says and gets going on her bike.

“Bye,” I say.

I watch her ride away. Something feels incomplete. The conversation. Something was supposed to happen. There was something I was supposed to do. What was it?

I feel myself split and phase out of sync with my past life. I feel a queue of commands line up. I feel intentions in body and I let them happen.

My backpack slides off of my shoulders and I yell for her to wait. I run after her, faster than I knew I could run. I feel my past-self beside me, taking momentary control to deal with something that I wouldn’t understand.

I call her name. She stops her bike and looks over her shoulder at me, confused. My body slows down and stops in front of her.

“I remember,” he says on behalf of me. I remember nothing.

“I remember,” he says, “Thank you. Thank you for remembering and for seeing it through.”

From the backseat of my mind, like watching a dream… I see it. I don’t see a physical change with my eyes but my perspective changes and I see her face differently. My eyes see the same thing, but my mind views something else. My eyes see Sophia, but my mind… It sees someone from long ago. Somebody from a dream. Somebody I’ve hurt.

“I’m sorry for what I did to you,” he says, “I miss you.”

Sophia smiles at me and just like that it’s over.

I’m back in my body and I feel stupid. “Sorry,” I say, “I don’t know what—”

“It is fine,” she says and nods, “I know. I felt it too.”

______

“I had a dream last night.”

“Is it? About what?”

“I’m not sure… A man. It was one of those past life dreams. I was in a black place. It looks like when you close your eyes. And there was this man in a weird outfit. It looked like an insulated vest made of steel. I remember him being very powerful. He wasn’t stronger than me, but he was powerful enough to scare me. He was capable of something.”

Victor looked up at the trees while Damien looked up at the purple light. “It’s called an Immortal.”

“Hm?”

“The man. You probably call them Highest Ascended, but we just call them Immortals.”

“Oh. Am I an Immortal?”

“No. I doubt it. Immortals are a cog in the engine of the universe. They—”

“Governors of universal laws? The embodiments of the universe.”

“... Exactly. If you met him, he probably has something to do with your rebirth.”

“Oh. I think I had more than two lives. The dreams make more sense that way.”

“That explains why it took so long. Reincarnation is supposed to be quick.”

The purple light was friendly. Damien felt complete around it. He felt safe.

“I’m excited about this demon stuff. I still can’t remember much about who I was, but I want to find out more.”

Victor looked at Damien, who looked at the sky with his eyes closed.

“Don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Listen, it is an interesting world. And it’s fine to read the books and learn about it but...”

He tried to make a bit more sense of his thoughts before speaking them.

“Reincarnations aren’t supposed to be this messy, Damien. Like I said, it should have been right away. If you met an Immortal, and he’s responsible for reincarnating you, then it would never be this messy unless he wanted it to be. He was trying to disrupt something.”

Damien opened his eyes and looked at Victor. “Maybe he was trying to break some sort of cycle,” he said.

“Exactly. Maybe all of your past lives were just you killing things and he wanted it to stop. My point is, enjoy this power and stuff, but for the sake of your past life, suffering and that immortal, let it go. Don’t go digging in your past for something you were supposed to leave behind. Just see this life as a second chance and appreciate it… And don’t get your head stuck in the clouds. Try and live a nice human life… “As a good friend once said.

Damien smiled at Victor. He couldn’t help it. What he said pleased a fragment of him - the past life that he was slowly accepting as himself.

“Now sit down.”

“With crossed legs?”

“No. This isn’t that kind of meditation. Just whatever makes you feel comfortable with feeling your own energy.”

“Can I lay down?”

“As long as you don’t fall asleep.”

______

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. What about you?”

“This isn’t even my first time and I’m nervous.”

I look at my baby brother in my mother’s arms. If I’m completely honest, there’s a slight fear of being a big brother, but I feel like I’ve done this before already. I can sense his presence. He radiates the energy of a newborn - soft and gentle. He doesn’t want to sit still. He isn’t crying, but with his eyes closed he keeps on whimpering and squirming.

Bad dream? I know the feeling… It’s fine. You’ll forget all about it when you wake up.

“Look!” my father says excitedly and points at him. The baby’s small hands reach out to me. “Do you want to hold him?” my mother asks with a smile. “I think he wants you to.”

“Okay,” I say nervously. I put my arms out and pick him up like a forklift. I always fear the worst in situations involving babies. What if I drop him?! What if I don’t do it by accident? What if I just… dropped him intentionally… for absolutely no reason…

I hold the baby close to my chest and his whimpering stops.

Then I feel a connection. I think the baby felt it sooner than I did. I can feel our blood relation. I can feel that we share something greater - something left by me, in the womb, for him. It’s like a scent.

In the back of my mind, the demon becomes uneasy, shifts, and stands up. He walks to the front of my mind. He stops behind me and I feel his eerie presence standing with me in this room.

He puts a hand on my shoulder, leans in, and whispers in my ear...

You are not alone.