The soul of Bu Bian was chained to the soul of a fishmonger behind him and a prince ahead of them. In the eyes of the afterlife, all of them were equal, because all of them had failed to achieve any karmic merit. Together, they travelled across a bridge built of human bones.

In the distance, golden palaces of frozen lightning stood atop swirling clouds of blue flame. Above them rose a red moon, where the truly wretched sinners screamed in halls of black ice.

“Bu Bian, Bu Bian, share some wine with me.” The bull-headed giant overseeing the marching chain of souls across the bridge offered him a jade gourd, the fragrance from which was incomparable to any mortal wine. It was brewed with spirit rice grown along the river of souls and mulberries from the divine orchards, and Bu Bian’s eyes shone with greed as he took the gourd.

“Many thanks.” He remembered to say, before guzzling down a hefty swig. The taste was incomparable to anything on this earth!

“Think nothing of it.” They were old acquaintances, after all. The march across the bone bridge was many months long, and they had gotten to know each other quite well after Bian’s eight hundred eighty eight journeys. “But listen, Brother Bu, I hear the judge is planning to really give it to you this time. You must promise me you won’t learn anything!”

Like many denizens of this heavenly realm, the giant had thousands of spirit stones riding on Bu Bian’s poor character, many of them owed to the torturers of the red moon. His face grew pale and his knees trembled at the thought of not being able to pay up.

Yes, it could be said the heavens would go broke on the day Bu Bian grew a conscience.

Bu Bian’s face was also pale. The ‘master’ of this realm was planning to really give it to him? Ah, had he finally gone too far? Before he had always managed to slip through the cracks, living neither a virtuous life that would earn entrance to the Thundering Heavens nor committing sins so foul he would be punished in the nameless halls of the red moon.

It sounded as if his luck had run out. His knees knocked together as a particularly horrid scream echoed down from the distant halls of black ice, but the giant only slapped him on the back. “Stay true to your own dao, Brother Bu. A few years on the red moon will fly past!”

“Aah, but of course. I can’t be learning any lessons. I have a reputation to think of.” These were his words, and he laughed dismissively, but a shadow had fallen over Bu Bian’s heart and would not lift.

Divine punishment! What had he ever done to deserve such a thing, other than a few trifling deceptions? Surely, he had paid for everything he had stolen by leaving behind wonderful stories, so that his so-called ‘victims’ could tell their grandchildren how they’d been so cleverly tricked by the famous Bu Bian? It was outrageous to punish him simply for being born cunning.

The more he pondered this the more indignant Bu Bian became, and all the long journey on the bridge of bones he ground his teeth until they were as sharp as knives.

A crook? Him? Bu Bian? He had discovered the immortal fruit tree in the first place! Surely it wasn’t a crime to protect the good fortune the heavens had delivered to him?

His fury grew so great that, when they finally arrived at the island of yellow soil where the judge resided in a house of white jade, Bu Bian strode forward to the front of the line and kicked the door open!

The dishonorable soul of Bu Bian burst into the house of the Underworld Judge with fire and fury in his eyes, waving his finger about like a sword. “Where do you get the nerve to call Bu Bian a crooked man? What have I ever done to deserve such slander!”

This judge was a particular beauty, with lustrous dark hair bound up in a flawless bun atop her head by a pick of bone.

She wore jade sandals, a necklace of teeth, and from her midnight-colored robes sprouted ghostly white flowers. At the center of each flower was the face of a sinner she’d held a grudge against, and all of them were silently screaming as they suffered the most excruciating of torments.

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Bu Bian pointed right at her as he demanded, “Show me the evidence! If I’m such a crook, why can no one show me the evidence, huh?!”

The judge lifted a single elegant finger, her skin white as death and her long sharp nails black as night. Bu Bian suddenly found himself unable to speak, which was quite distressing, as it was one of his favorite things to do.

“Seven times you undertook to steal a precious treasure, six women had their hearts broken, five cities were set fire to in your drunken schemes.” With every word, Bu Bian was whisked away into a vivid illusion where he saw scenes taken from his own memory. As she described his crimes, he was forced to watch them repeated.

Even Bu Bian would have to admit, all this did not paint his character in a very flattering light!

“Don’t think it’s because I’m not fond of you anymore. I’ve been very kind to you in the past, but I think now that may have been a mistake. All these years I’ve been waiting for you to put your mind to something worthwhile, and yet…” She reclined on her throne of silk cushions, taking a puff from an ivory pipe and letting the smoke curl from her lips. “I think eighteen years on the red moon should temper your soul?”

Upon hearing this Bu Bian flung himself to the floor in a wretched kowtow, mumbling countless exaltations to her beauty and mercy through his sealed lips as he wrung his hands for mercy.

Bu Bian was one of her favored pets, but the judge’s patience was sorely limited. He had come so close to immortality, but learned nothing along the way? Worse, this was his most humiliating death yet, and the judge had little time for failure.

The only reason she suffered his constant failed grasps at immortality was that Bu Bian, whatever his many faults, had never surrendered or considered turning from his path. He always stood back up and vowed to try again. If she could polish his soul, Bu Bian could become a peerless champion, and his reformation would be a true testament to her wisdom as a judge.

This was what a ‘true Dao-heart’ meant. It could be for good or evil, but it was purely focused on its goal and capable of miracles. How many other mortals could have dared stand against the Magister Shenfeng, a cultivator of the Astral Scholar stage?

The judge sighed. “I assume you are begging for mercy and saying many flattering, if false, things.” This was not the first time Bu Bian had been forced to rely on this particular strategy.

“Still, I’m growing tired of your lies. This time I’m not about to step between you and your decreed punishment. So unless you have some way of changing your karmic fate…” She smiled slyly and feigned interest in her nails, pausing to let Bu Bian sweat in fear for a while.

“It does so happen that there is a method.” She finally continued. “A rather powerful master of cultivation has chosen not to continue on through the Great Wheel, and voluntarily shattered his soul. Someone else could take his place and accept his karmic destiny.”

Immediately Bu Bian began to nod, bashing his head against the floor as he kowtowed. To have an eighteen year sentence become a chance to steal a powerful destiny? It was beyond luck to escape his punishment this way; it had entered into the uncanny realm of ‘fate’.

“Bah, don’t act like I’m doing you a favor. The attention of the heavens is a heavy burden. So far you’ve escaped the red moon because you haven’t done any real harm.”

Even the times he set a city or two ablaze, the fire had been easily put out again. Bu Bian bore a little karmic debt for his crimes, but as his worst deeds were unintentional, the stains had yet to sink deep into his soul.

“With a powerful destiny, the lives of many hang on your every decision. Bu Bian, listen to me now! If you return here without learning your lesson, you will go to the red moon, for many hundreds of years, and I neither can nor will shield you from that again.”

Eighteen years? That was nothing! A foolish but powerful cultivator could earn a thousand years of hell with only a small mistake.

But even so, Bu Bian didn’t take her threats seriously. He heard only what he wanted to hear! If he was born with a powerful cultivation talent, he would stand every chance of becoming immortal. If he became an immortal, then he’d be free from the judgement of heaven, no matter how shamelessly he acted! Put simply, immortality was the only way to truly escape punishment for his crimes.

Naturally, the judge saw all of this with a glance into Bu Bian’s green eyes, but she was a demon of her word and there was no going back now. With a deep sigh, she conjured a tiny jade flask and threw it to the floor at his feet.

The moment he lifted the stopper a radiant golden wind flew out, surrounding him and infusing his soul. It felt like warm sunlight on soft skin and Bu Bian could hear the melodies of a thousand crystal bells ringing. As the purest essence of life energy poured into him the afterlife began to fade, and the judge called out,

“Bu Bian! Don’t you dare disappoint me again. Even if you should become immortal…” Her eyes flashed crimson, and with a flick of her long nails she produced an icy killing pressure that made Bu Bian feel as if his lungs and heart were frozen over with black ice. “If you act a scoundrel I’ll hunt you down myself.”

And that was the last thing Bu Bian saw before he plunged down through the heavens and back to earth!