“Why is this such a big issue to you?”

“Are you kidding? Don’t you want to leave something after you’re dead on this godforsaken Earth?”

“Don’t you see that this is exactly the problem? Most of the population is starving, the corporations are ruining everybody's lives, and the United Government is doing jack shit about it. What, with all the resources they have, they couldn’t bring themselves to better the planet? Should we bring a child to a world that’s slowly destroying itself?”

“That’s not the problem here and you know it. Governments were ruining people’s lives long before, and people had children anyway. They survived, why can’t we?” The silence in the room had made itself apparent, the air seemed to sit still.

“The reason you don’t want children is the same reason you don’t want to marry me.” She started again. “You’re afraid of commitments.”

I looked at the window pane on her left. The sun was bearing down, it was the hottest day of the year so far, and the steam was rising from all the industrial cooling systems that had to be used in the city.

“That’s not it.” I shook my head. “I haven’t told you about it before, but…” I looked her in the eyes, “Considering the circumstances, I should tell you now. I was married before.”

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“What? What are you talking about?”

“I was married to a man named Richard four years ago. It was a short marriage that ended in him taking everything from me. That’s why we live in this dump and not in a New Suburbia.” She was shocked, her lips visibly shaking. The tear was running down her cheek.

“Did– Did you love him?” She stammered.

“At the time - yes, but I trusted him too much and that trust bit me in the ass. Everything was in his name, I was too blind to see it, but I shouldn’t have trusted him that much.” I looked away at the floor - old carpet had eroded, and the concrete was poking through. “This is also why I had so much trouble trusting you when we started dating.”

She started sobbing. Her small frame was shaking, while she held her mouth. Her long blond hair was almost obstructing her face. I wanted to hold her, to comfort her. I reached out with my hand, wanting to caress her back. She smacked my hand away.

“No. Don’t touch me. I— I don’t know you. Don’t know you at all…”

I didn’t know what to do anymore. 

I didn’t want to hurt her more.

“I’m gonna go. You know how to reach me if anything–”

“Yeah, better go.”

I looked at her for the last time, gathered my work equipment and went out the door. The heat hit me almost instantly.

It’s for the best. I’ll go to work, don’t have anywhere else.