That night, there was a meal served in the First Dining Room. Broken attended. And so did Mai.

After the food itself was consumed, Mai found herself talking to some of the other nobles. Not about anything in particular, just talk. And she found herself able to loosen up, a skill she had feared that she lost for good.

At a different part of the room, Broken found his two girlfriends again, and as Mai conversed with those near her, Broken also talked it up.

Perhaps a pair of hours later, near midnight, Broken found Mai in a lounge. It was late, and so Mai had little left in the way of company, and so she excused herself from those who remained, and came over to him.

“What is it?” Mai asked Broken.

“Come with me.”

And so, together, the two walked down the halls, that were increasingly empty. They found the grand staircase in the lobby, illuminated by a skylight on the ceiling, high up. The staircase, because of the hour, was nearly empty.

Together, Mai and Broken began to ascend.

“What is fear?” Broken asked Mai, as they climbed the stairs together.

“Ask a philosopher,” said Mai, quickly.

“Are you backing out because you have no answer to the question?” asked Broken. “Ah well. I have an answer, in lieu of yours. Fear is an instinct.”

“An instinct?” asked Mai.

“Does one choose to be afraid?” asked Broken.

“Well, no.”

“Then fear is an instinct,” said Broken. “Fear drives lower animals to run from danger. But humans have sentient minds. And once one can understand, truly understand rationally the pros and cons of any situation, fear is useless. Indeed, fear is quite often a hindrance.”

Broken stopped walking, and automatically, Mai did as well. Then she noticed where they were. They were standing on the third floor causeway, from the grand staircase to the hall.

“You noticed I was afraid of the height?” Mai asked.

“Quite,” said Broken.

He walked to the railing, and leaned over. Mai took a few steps to the edge, but only a few.

“Do you know that hundreds of people walk across this causeway every day, without falling?” asked Broken.

“Yes,” said Mai.

“Do you know that dozens of people lean across the railing, every day, without plummeting to their deaths?”

“Yes,” said Mai.

“Then why do you still fear?”

“I don’t know,” said Mai. “Why does a dog bark?”

“That question is, sadly, irrelevant,” said Broken. “Come closer to the railing.”

Mai took a hesitant step forward.

“Closer still,” said Broken.

Mai took another step. She was almost at the railing.

“Now lean over, as I do,” said Broken.

“No.”

“Why?” he asked. “The fear is irrational, and in our world, logic is what drives the world. Even if you fall, you must realize that I will catch you.”

And so Mai leaned over the edge. She looked down at the tiny people below, and shuddered. “Why do you care about my fear of heights?” she asked Broken, turning to him, and away from the abyss below.

“Because once you conquer one fear, it is easier to conquer another, and then another,” said Broken. “And because you never know when being able to suppress fear might come in handy. You want to see Ishad again, don’t you?”

“But…I could go to the infirmary, but I wouldn’t know what to say,” said Mai. “What am I supposed to tell him? I’m sorry you got possessed by a demon, or maybe a Nari? I’m sorry you tried to kill me? I wouldn’t know what to say.”

“The fear you are experiencing is preventing you from doing something very important,” said Broken.

“What does my fear prevent me from doing?” asked Mai. “Looking like a fool in front of Ishad?”

“Tur is Ashat suppressed the news of the possession quite well,” said Broken. “So well, in fact, that Ishad still has no idea what happened. He is in his infirmary bed right now, and he has no idea why his mouth said the things it did, and he has no idea why his body tried to kill you. How do you think he feels about that?”

“Horrible,” Mai answered. “Of course he feels horrible. But why do I have to speak with him?” She paused. “You want me to tell him but you understand possession far better than me. You could tell him yourself.”

“I could,” Broken admitted.

“So why do I have to face him right now?” asked Mai. “Why can’t I wait until I’m ready?”

“Because in the interim, Ishad will languish in his hospital bed, thinking you hate him because he wasn’t strong enough to resist the possession.”

“He wouldn’t think that,” said Mai. “He knows I love him.”

“How do you know?” asked Broken.

“What?” said Mai.

“People think things that aren’t true,” said Broken. “And without seeing you, without talking to you, Ishad won’t know what’s true and what’s false. He needs your help, far more than you need your time.”

“I’m still getting over what happened,” said Mai. “I just can’t…”

“What does that mean?” asked Broken.

She glared at him. “No normal person would ask me to go up to him, so soon after a thing possessed his body, and used that body to try to kill me! I…I don’t even know if I can look upon his face!”

And Broken slapped her.

Mai rubbed her cheek. “Ow,” she said. “What did you do that for?”

“Do you know how selfish what you just said sounded?”

“No,” said Mai. “But I…”

“Who do you think needs more help right now?” asked Broken. “You, who have a modicum of understanding of what is going on, who had me there for you to make sure you were all right, or he, who still knows nothing?”

“You don’t even like Ishad,” said Mai. “I do, and I…”

Broken slapped her again, a little harder. “A passerby to this conversation wouldn’t know that, would he?” Broken asked Mai. “You cannot abandon him now. He needs to talk to you.”

“You’re pushing me too hard,” said Mai. “First, you got me out of bed before I was ready to face the world, and now you ask me to do this!” She took in ragged breaths. “I was almost killed a day ago!”

“And if you fail to speak to Ishad, for that reason,” said Broken, “your would-be murderer will be granted one small success. Do you want that?”

“No,” said Mai.

“You don’t sound very sure,” said Broken. “Look over the ledge again.”

And the commanding tone of his voice made Mai do as he asked. Looking down now, in the state that she was in, almost made her faint.

“I can’t do this,” she said. “I can’t.” She dragged her eyes away from the depths below.

“There is a proverb,” said Broken. “It is always darkest before the dawn. That is what the proverb says.”

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“I’ve heard of that,” said Mai. “I didn’t think you’d be one to believe something like that.”

“I don’t strictly believe it,” said Broken. “But the truth is, right now, you have a choice. You can either put what happened behind you, or dwell. Do you wish to stay in the darkness forever?”

“Of course not.”

“Then fight,” said Broken. “Go to Ishad, and speak to him, and prove that you are stronger than all of this.”

“I’m not strong,” said Mai.

“There are different types of strength, Princess,” said Broken. “Not all are physically apparent.”

“I’m not strong,” said Mai, “in any way at all.”

“Untrue.”

“All you do is save my life again, and again, and again,” said Mai. “It has gotten to a point where I expect you to be there.”

“It is true that I have saved your life many times,” said Broken. “But think about how much you have grown, on your own scale.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I met you,” said Broken, “you were weak, so weak that the only thing you really wanted to do was kill yourself. Now, you have grown.”

“How so?”

“For one thing,” said Broken, “you want to live. For another, you see me as a person, not some dark faceless thing. You realized that there is something fundamentally wrong with the class system in the Empire, and your lover is not a noble, but from the merchant class.”

“But all that is meaningless,” said Mai.

“Why?” asked Broken. “Your success in life is not measured by the number of people you’ve killed. Your success in life is measured by the mark you make.”

“The mark I make on what?” asked Mai.

“On whatever it is you want to make a mark on.”

Mai thought. And then she though some more. I have done things, thought Mai. Things most could not do. She realized she had been thinking about life in Broken’s shadow. He was not the world.

“You’re right,” said Mai.

“About what?” asked Broken.

“I matter.”

“You saying that brings joy to my heart,” said Broken. And then he did a surprising thing. He hugged her.

Mai barely realized what Broken was doing until his arms were fully around her. Carefully, Mai placed her arms around him as well.

The few others on the causeway turned for a moment to stare at the odd sight, but Mai didn’t care.

She finally realized what Broken meant to her.

Mai didn’t love him, not in one sense, not in the way she loved Ishad. But in another way, she did. She loved him with the love of friendship. In those moments, as they held each other, Mai realized that Broken was understandable. He was complicated, to be sure. But he was human, and he made human mistakes, and one of those mistakes had lead to Ishad’s injuries.

Mai realized that Broken cared about her. Maybe not because he was attracted to her, but as a friend. She realized that in a very awkward way, Broken had been reaching out for a long time.

At the same time, Mai and Broken let their arms drop.

“Thank you,” said Broken. “I made a difference.”

If Mai hadn’t known he was an agnostic, she would have thought he was talking to God.

“Let’s go to our rooms,” she told Broken. “It’s probably around two now, and I don’t want to wake Ishad, but I’ll talk to him first thing in the morning.

Broken nodded, and then they both headed off, to get to sleep.

Dawn broken on Mai’s second morning in the Palace, and in a strange way, she was satisfied.

She knew an outsider wouldn’t understand why. Two days ago, she had been nearly drowned by the body of her lover, possessed something, that not even Broken knew the identity of. There could be another attempt on her life at any time. It had already been proven that the Palace was not safe.

And yet Mai was content.

She got up, got dressed, and walked out into the hall, where she asked a passing servant the location of the infirmary.

Once she knew the directions, Mai thought briefly about asking Broken to come along, but she decided against it. For one thing, it was early in the morning, and she didn’t know if he was awake yet, though she thought it likely. More importantly, however, she thought that what she had to say with Ishad was rather private. She owed it to Ishad, after ignoring him for two days, to have enough courtesy to speak to him alone.

And so, Mai headed to the infirmary. To reach that wing of the building, Mai traveled down the grand staircase to the first floor, then through a maze of hallways. She just barely remembered which way to turn at the various intersections, from the servant’s instructions.

But, perhaps a quarter hour of walking later, Mai reached her destination. A large sign hung over a double door, which Mai opened.

Within, there were more doors and hallways, but, thankfully, a servant sat at a main desk.

“I’m here to see Ishad,” Mai told the woman. “Where can I see him?”

The woman checked some files, frowning. “This Ishad have a last name?” she asked.

“Not that will be in the records.”

The woman frowned deeper, but found something in the pile of records. “Ah,” she said. “He’s here recovering from a recent concussion.”

Tur is Ashat covered up the truth well, thought Mai. She understood why Tur had done as much, as talk of demons roaming the halls of the Palace would hardly be good for morale. But still, the ease at which he had spread a lie was somewhat shocking.

“Thank you,” said Mai. “Now, where might I find him?”

The woman behind the counter frowned suspiciously. “Who might you be?” she asked.

“Mai,” said Mai.

“No last name, either?”

“Not one that matters.”

“He’s behind the fifth door to the left, down the east corridor,” said the servant, pointing. “Don’t make a wrong turn, or you might end up in a restricted area,” she added. “The guards won’t be to keen about that.”

Mai glanced at a pair of soldiers, standing stiffly, spears at the ready, and the back of the room. They blinked at her.

“Thank you,” she told the servant.

“You’re welcome, my lady.”

Mai followed the servant’s instructions, opened the door, and entered Ishad’s room. As Ishad looked to be still asleep, face down on his pillow, she closed the door quietly behind her.

Mai looked around. Ishad slept on a bed comfortable, yet plain. There were no windows, and the room was rather dark, so Mai lit a lantern.

The sudden light woke Ishad, and he shifted in his bed. He turned groggily. To Mai’s relief, the yellow eyes were quite gone. Ishad just looked like Ishad, and actually, somewhat less tired than he had right before they had reached Asan Paril. He blinked his eyes blindly, and rubbed them.

“Who is it?” he asked. The words came out slow, depressed.

“Me,” said Mai.

Ishad blinked, and set his arms down. “Mai?”

“I’m here.”

Mai pulled over the room’s sole chair, from its dusty corner, placed it by the side of the bed, and sat down. She looked carefully at Ishad, who looked carefully at her.

“You look pretty,” he said, not sitting up.

“Thank you.”

“I’m very confused, Mai,” said Ishad. “So many things, so many memories are in my head. I remember hurting you, and I remember other things. But then, two days ago, I think, I woke up here, and the healers told me I was recovering from a serious concussion. Having a concussion… My head feels fine. I’m just very confused.”

Mai had been hoping that perhaps Ishad wouldn’t remember what had happened when he had been possessed. That hope flew out the window.

“What do you remember?” asked Mai.

“Besides what I said?” replied Ishad. “I remember us reaching Asan Paril, but almost as soon as we got to the city, my head started to feel like it was in a fog. The rest of the night was a muddle…until…until I woke up in the middle of the night, and… But what happened then couldn’t be real. I would never do those things to you.” Ishad looked so sad, so utterly defeated. “But I did, somehow.”

“You remember everything that happened that night?” asked Mai.

“Crystal clear.” Ishad paused, for a moment. “My God, it was real. I should rot in hell for all eternity for what I did to you.” His words were weak.

“It was real,” said Mai. “But you didn’t do what you remember.”

“I remember it so clearly,” said Ishad. “The fog was gone, then. I tried to stop, but my hands, it was like they weren’t my own…the words… You should just leave me. There’s something wrong with me, that much I know. I must be…I don’t know the word for it…psychotic. Disturbed.”

Mai looked into Ishad’s tortured eyes, fighting the growing urge to look away. She didn’t realize what Broken had meant before, by implying that Ishad had underwent a worse night than Mai had.

But then she understood. At least that night, she had been in control of her own body. Ishad had been violated, violated so supremely that he had been forced to watch as a helpless bystander in his own mind, as another presence tried to use his body to kill the one he loved.

“No,” said Mai. “That’s not true.”

“I’m not an idiot, Mai,” said Ishad. “You just told me that what I remember really happened. You should leave here, and never see me again.” His throat choked. “For your own good.”

“You don’t know everything,” said Mai. “Listen to me. What happened was not your fault.”

“Then whose fault was it?” asked Ishad. “I know the things I did. I know the things I told you, things I’m not even sure how I knew.”

“You were possessed,” said Mai. Instantly, she realized how stupid she had sounded.

“Indeed,” agreed Ishad. “Something was wrong with me. And if something was wrong with me, it still is. My God, if Broken hadn’t stopped me…” He trailed off.

“No, Ishad,” said Mai. “I didn’t mean you were just acting like you were possessed. You were possessed.”

Ishad blinked a few times, processing the new information, processing what he must have thought, only a moment ago, to be an impossibility.

“You mean, a demon was in control of my body?” asked Ishad. “A demon?” he repeated.

“Or a Nari,” added Mai. “Broken isn’t sure which. But one of the two.”

Ishad blinked a few more times.

“That is really what happened,” said Mai. “I’m not making it up. I wouldn’t make something like that up.”

A curious sensation came over Ishad. Upon hearing Mai’s confirmation, he smiled, weakly. Mai understood his reasons.

Ishad leaned up in his bed. He took a few shuddering breaths. “My memory…” he said. “In what I remember, Broken didn’t seem to be acting right, either. He had yellow eyes, at one point.”

“So did you,” said Mai. “Whatever possessed you tried to possess Broken as well, but he fought it off.” Mai worried that Ishad would take that statement badly, as it seemed to confirm that he was weaker than Broken, but she didn’t need to have been concerned.

“Figures,” said Ishad. “Nothing can stand up to Broken, not even demons. You…you know I tried as hard as I could to stop what my body was doing, don’t you?”

“Yes,” said Mai. “You would never hurt me. That thing, that had your voice and your body for a time, wasn’t you.”

“I know,” said Ishad. He even cracked a dim smile. “It’s not like I could have really slammed Broken against a tub, and held my own against him.”

“Who knows?” asked Mai. “Possession is real. Who knows what else could be possible?”

“So, what happened?” asked Ishad. “I mean, after Broken knocked me out with that piece of tub. Is…is the thing still inside me? I think I’m in control of my actions, but…”

“You were checked by priests and spellweavers,” said Mai. “You’re clean.”

“Thank God.” Ishad thought, for a moment. “I want you to know that nothing I said then was true,” he said. “Nothing. Even if you’re keeping secrets from me, well, I trust you.”

Tears came to Mai’s eyes. “I don’t deserve that kind of trust,” she told him.

“Of course you do,” said Ishad. “I love you Mai, I love you with all my heart. Those aren’t just words to me. Everyone might say them, but I…I mean them. If you’re keeping secrets from me, I trust you enough to believe that you are doing so for a good reason.”

Mai looked at him, and felt ashamed. “I’m sorry I didn’t come here earlier,” she said. “I could have, and I just…”

“Don’t worry about that,” said Ishad. “Something that looked a whole lot like me had tried to kill you. You came here when you were ready, and for that I am grateful.”

Mai filled him in on all that had happened in the past few days.

When she was done, Ishad asked, “When do I get out of here?”

“I don’t know when you’re supposed to be let out,” said Mai, “but one way or another, I’ll make sure you’re out of here by the end of the day.”

“Thank you.”

And when Ishad looked at Mai at that moment, in those once-sullen eyes, she saw hope.