Life gives you the lemons, but you’d make some lemonade out of it sometimes. Nonetheless, I had my own serving cup for that.
There were quite the many lessons I’ve learned throughout my living days, but there was one particular lesson I came across by during the days when I was considered dead.
What’s the lesson, you asked?
Appreciating whatever you had and not ask for more.
Because greed…… takes even more of your dearest things away from you when you went too far in an attempt to own it all.
I tend to remember what was left of my fragmented memories, now further shattered down to just little bits of grain. All of which because I was greedily hoarding over two simple choices at once.
That at last will become the worst decision to haunt me over the rest of my days for the rest of my life.
That said, whenever you think about life, you probably thought about death. That’s a good thing however; accepting it to be a part of living shown you’ve grown wiser.
Whenever you think about reality, you’d also probably thought about fantasy. That too, is a good thing, for it told you that you’re still young and will have many greater things waiting for you in the future. Imagination’s that special key to it.
And whenever you think about the most cherished times in your life, it’s sometimes a bad thing to pop into your head, as the opposite of this factor was no doubt a potential tragedy.
It’s still nice to think of that however, granted that it taught you the journey will have its ups and downs. In my case, each and every one of those thoughts brought me to how I am today.
A boy to be recognized and known by all.
Life itself was never ever an easy road to walk on. All of the stones on that very pavement served either as your obstacle or a literal stepping stone in progress. It all depended on your will to bend them to your way, by hook or by crook. Anyway is still considered a way, regardless of process. People cared naught but results.
I used to have plenty of questions to ask on a philosophical level. Seeing that I learned my own life will not be the same as before, I could spend as much time as I wished to uncover all of the secrets that were yet to be unveiled.
On the day I was resurrected; to be reincarnated into my own world and my own body, learning multiple horrible truths all in my absence made me questioned my existence within an instant.
Currently stuck to one such question that made me pondered for more than just a moment, I asked myself, only to have more questions taking its place.
What do I live for, when I’ve got everything but had lost my everything?
Does that considered to be a profitable sacrifice, or a really lamenting loss?
Am I able to recover what destiny had taken from me, or continue to live as a boy who everyone knew but seen as dead?
Was all of this necessary, to obtain the power that could rule over an entire universe? Then what’s the use of having it when you can’t protect, moreover save the people you loved?
It’s all because of that kid……
All because I gave in to entertain and satisfy his peers in exchange for some fantastical junk, I was broken.
All of it began since the day of my death.
And then a whole year of slumber as a deceased.
After that, the birth of a little town’s doom came along.
That would be me being the cause.
But are you willing to listen to my story?
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“Freedom comes at a price, and so will it be for other things. That’s why, if you want to have something, you need to give one of your belongings of equal value in exchange.
So it’s without a doubt that, if you want to have everything, you must first give away your everything.
That however doesn’t mean you can get it back.”
Where am I……
My eyes tried hard to fight back the unusually comfortable drowsiness. It was fading as we speak, so I knew sleeping again was practically not a choice anymore. My five senses were gradually recovering from their own slumber, making me tasting a wave of unnerving cold from my unknown surroundings. And because of that, I stretched myself, then painfully regretted it.
Argh…… pins and needles all over my body…… Not cool.
My hands felt fully numb, as if I had just let them endured a full day in the midst of a heavy snowstorm to have them suffer a final stage of frostbite. The fingers I have refused to move, and it was only I did focus hard enough before they stiffly wriggled under my command, my pair of eyes still shut tight as I did it.
The two legs were straightened by my stretch earlier, screaming with agony when I made a decision to move an inch out of their original position, but I didn’t take the hint, or feel it anyway. Now, I had my condition made worse when I did it again, this time I felt the full force when my whole body jolted up to create an electrifying chain reaction that eventually woke me up and got rid of that drowsy feeling once and for all. My dry mouth ended up mustering the strength to say “I’m up…”, in a quick and soft succession, it being totally out of my personal control. I managed to relax my body after the shock, not wishing to take in another jolt from my newly awakened nerves. Mentally making a note in my head to not perform this feat with cramped muscles, I blinked with my now widely opened eyes, moisturizing them as I began taking in the seemingly blurry view.
It’s a little later until I completely regained my full consciousness a few seconds after waking up, with my vision now functioning properly and a natural instinct telling me to scan the area I was in as fast as I could.
That’s where the nightmare began.
Where exactly am I?
A cold sweat flowed down from my neck to my spine. My whole body unwillingly froze on its own upon witnessing something you might see when you’re dead.
And by that, I knew I wasn’t alive anymore.
There were hundreds of thousands of people floating in the air, all of them facing a general direction similar to mine; assuming it’s floating ahead towards our final destination, that is. There were cries and wails of the dead all over the place. And from my two eyes was what I saw as a sea of the damned.
Black hands flooded the so-called ‘ocean’, trying to drag us down to have us drowned. Too bad for them, we’re kept a steady distance from the two swirling seas located above and below us. There were some that unwillingly strayed close to either of them, but was quickly repelled back to the safe perimeter by an unseen force.
Magic perhaps?
The area was devoid of light and hope, but everything in sight was crystal clear, as if darkness was the light? I’m not sure. My head was in circles; dizzying thoughts entered and escaped through my mind rapidly, disallowing me to digest the information.
So I’m not alive anymore, yet am I really dead?
Was this how my soul looked like?
I thought the afterlife would be colder?
Why do I felt like I’m not even done with my previous life?
……
Well, I’m physically dead so as to say, waiting for my chance to live as another person was my sole choice. Clinging to my previous life will help nothing to bring me back. I should be forgetting what has to be forgotten. That’s all in the past now.
But there stood my first challenge once it came to me a bad truth to swallow.
I couldn’t do it.
I just can’t.
It’s like…… I’ll feel hollow if I lose all of my memories, good or bad. It’s like I won’t feel whole no matter what took its place. I’ll become an empty shell in another empty vessel of a different cycle.
I’m a nobody now. I can’t lose more of myself when I’ve got nothing to lose.
Was this how it feels to part with what you cherished so badly?
“Ah……”
A shimmering golden light flashed over my eyes, appearing out of nowhere while displaying its radiance directly a few hundred meters ahead of me. I was momentarily stunned by its beauty, like there’s a new world waiting for me to go in. That luminous shine reflected into my eyes. Then a conclusion came to me when I heard it calling for me.
“Come here……”
It’s time.
With no full control over any of my body parts, my eyes simply hovered on several people; slowly making their way into a beautiful marigold colored void with me. The light was practically begging us to come, and I couldn’t resist my curiosity to take a peek on what’s on the other side. It’ll just be like a new hole to venture in and discover what it has to offer, only this particular hole looked very bright to not be amiss.
Hundreds of more lost souls also followed our tracks and hovered themselves to the great ball of gold light; similar to luring moths with flames, and I was one of the petty ones dumbly dragging myself to it.
There’s no turning back anymore, I thought to myself, letting the light absorb me as I embraced it. Although that feeling was still gripping the roots inside my heart, I started to pay no attention to any remnants of my past self.
I listened to the sounds of the dead crying, as they mourn for neither no one nor themselves. It formed a depressing melody, yet it soothed my ears, calming my already sad spirit. That non-existing heart within me was beating faintly; I began to understand how hard could it be to put down something…… someone you loved……
“……Hey……”
Eh?
Was somebody talking to me?
“......Don’t go……”
“……Huh?” I responded, my own voice close to an inaudible tone. I swore there was a girl calling for me just a little while ago.
“……Don’t wander off away from me……”
What’s going on……? The tumbling, noisy seas in between me became silent. The voice earlier…… it’s assaulting my…… Argh! My head! Why does it hurt so much!? That’s not supposed to happen, right?
Why am I feeling so determined to stay elsewhere?
“……Don’t leave me here……”
No! I can’t give up now!
I felt my body reenergized when that voice called for me. With no experience of swimming passing over my mind, I cared less but tumbled in a zero-gravity zone, flailing as I attempted to swim my way out of the golden void. I swung my limbs all over the place, shaking off my fatigue, but didn’t stop.
As if the bright void knew what I was up to, it began to draw in the air, with me altogether. Finally, I faced against the light and did a quick dog paddle, spinning my arms and legs over and over, refusing to accept my former death was certain.
“No, big gold void! I must get back to where I should be!”
I continued my struggle for several more seconds, as I felt the light not only pulling me in, but also draining my strength at the same time. Realizing those mere seconds will decide whether I’ll live to see another day in me or someone else, I pushed myself further beyond what otherworldly means to get out of its clutches.
I felt its pull getting stronger, and yet so did my will to come back to life in an alternative way. Regardless if I turned into something else that’ll have every living thing in the world to fear me, I could not concern more than the pleading girl’s voice to tell me to stay.
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Guilt struck my conscious when I thought of what mistakes I had done to her to the point that I left her in pain, until realization struck me faster to let me understand that……
I’d lost already.
The light…… It got me.
Somebody help me……I can’t do this alone……Not with just a cheer or call.
Please, I need a helping hand.
I’m really a nobody…… Only she cared about me. Maybe my family cared me too.
I was in the middle of the bright void, ready to be disintegrated into who knows where. There was no one capable of lending a hand to pull me out. I felt that the darkness was more like my home. The light’s like the abyss to me.
If only something - anything resembling a long piece of string could come, I’ll just grab it, and pull myself out. I don’t care if it snaps in two, my two hands will firmly cling onto it.
Well, it’s best if it doesn’t.
I just wish for a rope, or a chain…… Yeah, a very, very long chain. Maybe specifically those two coming my way, clattering a glass-crashing rhythm altogether.
With an extremely sharp blade each attached to their ends.
……
Wait, what?
“……Oh no, you don’t!”
Eh?
Before I knew, the chains flew to my general direction, it’s ends like spinning sawblades ready to turn me to minced meat.
Then I panicked.
To which I was not a bit surprised when I screamed like a girl as if I wanted to let everyone know I’m about to be murdered…… “Get me out of here, Mr. Void, I don’t care! Take me in! I don’t wanna die a second time before my next rebirth!”
I shut my eyes while the dark invaded my personal mind, but it did little to comfort me. My head braced for impact, fearing the incoming pain once the daggers dug through my flesh.
“AHHH!!!”
Clang!
Then silence smashed the air.
The rattling of chains stopped instantly.
And a breeze went pass my head.
“Pant…… Pant…… Sigh……”
……What just happened to me?
My eyes winced a little when I opened them, my front view meeting face to face with the two black oceans up and below. I looked everywhere, wondering what had become of me. The thought of me already in a different world was discarded into the bin. But for one fact I am sure to understand, I was pulled out of the void.
The light was nowhere to be seen.
My adrenaline-rushed energy returned late to my body in all of a sudden, the view temporarily turning into a blur. I shook my head, remembering what had occurred to me a matter of seconds ago.
I got saved by a mysterious person.
One who liked using chained blades to wrap people up.
My torso was completely twirled by the long chains, with my arms trapped in it as well. The chain ends with the blades were felt behind me. On the other hand, the other two respective ends were directly in my front side, stretching itself to near endless boundaries, because I could see something in the vicinity besides dying souls.
There was a tiny rock ahead, gradually growing in size, so my guess that’s solid land I’ll be dragged onto soon.
Still, all of this quick action; while I did almost nothing other than thinking, I’m getting that drowsy feeling again……
That girl, the one to wake me up from this dreadful place…… will she whom I answered back still know me?
Will I be able to meet her……?
Yawn……
I’m not sure.
But for one thing that’s been confirmed, I need some sleep……
Zzzz……
A little rest won’t hurt anyone, especially me.
………
……
…
Clink.
“Ah…… Poor lil’ guy. Already sleeping before he hit land.
…… Hmph, well then. Land aboard, matey…… Hupp…… Get some rest, lil’ one. You’ll need it.”
Just as I’m going to lose full consciousness, I could feel a pair of hands catching me, while I was carried on the person’s back. The chains clanged softly, creating a rejuvenating lullaby for a young soul to rest peacefully.
Presumably, does it mean I’m heading back to my world?
Maybe.
Then who’s taking me to there?
Someone who knew me, I guess. Too bad I don’t know if it’s a he or she.
Sorry to bother you while I drift back to sleep, Mr. or Ms. Mystery……
But then, thanks.
Maybe I’ll repay you when I had the chance.
Yawn……
Zzzz……
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……
Ah…… A comfy bed to rest my head on……
It’s literally like heaven. The weaving of this bedding; was this completely made of cotton? Or was it made with clouds? It’s so cool to the touch, nicely done to not send a frilling chill to you throughout your beauty sleep. So that’s how you feel when you finally got some good rest, huh?
The pillow, it’s neither too hard nor too soft. The feeling to enjoy it couldn’t be concealed. It’s like hugging your most favorite plush toy or another soft pillow in your two arms.
I tossed myself around the bed a little while as I subconsciously savored the fluffiness of the bed’s design. This could go on forever and ever and I won’t get tired of it……
Now what was I thinking for a moment there……?
Oh, right! I’ve got things to settle back at my world! I need to head back……
As soon as I get on the fact that I’m dead.
……
It hurts to think of it though.
“Ugh……”
I tossed myself again, moaning a little to know this was reality, not your typical dream that’ll span for miles and miles away from the former. That call which made me fought back a life cycle, it was all in my head I guess. Mostly a reaction to not accept such an early death.
It’s all just a dream.
Those dreams were a blanket that’ll cover me from despair. Only when I’ve opened those eyes, then it’ll be taken away, waiting for my next moment to sleep and let my pain slip down a bottomless pit I’ll never know where it’ll be.
I gave a little smile to myself. My memory could suddenly yet scarcely remember the ways I woke up back when I’m still breathing; getting called by my parents, pranked by certain friends while I dozed off without realizing.
And sometimes, just sometimes.
Waking up from the ending of a delightful dream.
“Mm……”
How I hoped to see another sweet moment, because I had a quick flashback on one dream that tempted me the most to think of again.
A kiss with the mysterious girl whose voice moved and motivated me to live, even after I passed the line between life and death. Her looks were of a blur behind a semi-transparent glass layer, but despite that, I only had a simple thought about her by only looking at her silhouette.
She’s beautiful, like an angel in the white clouds.
“What a daydreaming fool I’ve got here.”
Currently, I’ve gotta put these thoughts to a stop and dump them to the back of my mind. Daydreaming can wait.
Not the sudden fall to the ground flat in a sleeping stance.
Snap.
Snapping fingers…? Whoa!
Thud.
Augh! My butt! What the hell?
Now where am I now?
……
No idea. As far as I could do to explain my location, only one word suited to mention said place.
Darkness.
Everything’s currently pitch-black as we speak. There was not even a speck of light to actually see things. It was darker than the black oceans I encountered, granted that the place was lit up magically. This was not the case.
I could feel my ass hurt badly; it throbbed and yelled from underneath to exclaim its dissatisfaction. A voice circled around my head like an irritating bee buzzing on a flower.
“So you’re finally awake……”
And as it turned out, my savior particularly, had rescued me from the grasp of the reincarnation cycle for a conversation.
“Shall we have a talk, then?”
Snap.
The area immediately brightened after hearing the sound of fingers snapping. A candle light was present on a small coffee table in front of me, dimly doing its best to shine. The scent of a pleasant and sweet drink filled the surrounding air.
I lightly sniffed it that permeated a lingering aroma. It was tickling my nose, playing with me.
But I know that smell anywhere……
It’s a cup of delicious cappuccino.
“Would you want a cup too, mister?”
“Huh?”
I glanced at the source, for it sounded very close to me. Still, within a moment, I firstly captured the view around myself; and so far there was nothing outside of the unseen other than the three furniture which was clearly visible with the help of the light.
There was that adorable coffee table holding that delicately designed candlestick. The candle had its wick gradually burned away by the tiny flame, its spirit vigorously chipping away the poor string to nothing. The candlewax was definitely not in a good shape either, having to be melted by a relatively weak heat force, dripping drop after drop of hot wax down to the table surface. Aside from that, there were two elegant tea cups, only one was filled to the brim with tasty cappuccino, still puffing bits of smoke to show that it was newly brewed; the best time to drink it. The tasty scent itself was tough to not go and take a sip from that cup.
So the offer to have a seemingly free serving sounded less intimidating when such an offer was given by a person that I clearly never knew in my life.
“Uh… Sure, why not?”
And from there was where I should describe the other two furniture, which were both chairs. Surprisingly, they’re a kind of giant bean bags instead of the royal chairs with polished armoires. Apparently, one of the seats was unoccupied; probably for me to sit on and rest my slightly sore bottom.
Usually, I would just go and literally throw myself a seat to rest once I had the opportunity, and it was more likely to happen seeing that the giant bean bag was about as soft as the bed I was in less than a minute ago.
However, somebody was watching me.
That would be the other bean bag chair that was unfortunately…… occupied by said person.
Taking a look at the stranger, it was a boy that took the spot. He was almost wearing a full set of blue as his garments. If I remembered the names of these clothes, he had a dark blue zip-up hoodie, the zipper pulled fully down to reveal a clean white shirt underneath. He wore jeans that were a shade lighter than the hoodie, wrinkle-free to tell how its wearer appreciated his clothing.
He’s got a pair of black sneakers, its laces nicely tied to match with the pair of black socks he wore inside the sneakers. Now pouring the same drink into the empty cup with a teapot, he hummed an unknown tune to himself, showing off a smile under his hood that was pulled over his head. It was not too obvious to catch your attention.
And by that, I meant it made me looked into him. I shivered badly when he looked back.
His eyes, blue as the sky, glowed and glared at my face.
“All right, here’s your cappuccino, young man.” He said, pushing the steaming cup to near the edge of the coffee table while he sat on the massive blue bean bag, crossing his legs as well as crossing his arms.
“Err……” I hesitated, fearing the presence of a stranger interacting with me. Although my conscious told me that he was in fact, the one who brought me out of the golden hole of reincarnation, I still took the whole truth hard to believe.
“It’s okay, take a seat. Let’s chat for a small bit. I’ve heard this is your favorite warm beverage? Bear in mind it’s still hot; the drink’s prepared in less than two minutes ago.” He said, motioning me to use the empty bean bag chair. He held the teapot in one hand and his cup in the other, refilling it to have a second serving of his own.
I, while suspicion controlled my brain, went to make myself comfortable on the next giant bean bag, which came with a shade of dark purple. It was actually a shocking fact too that, it’s a favorable color in my personal opinion.
Or it’s easy to say, it’s my favorite color.
At least I got the permission to sit, not that anyone cared though.
“So, about your cappuccino?” The stranger asked, reminding me of my drink that’s becoming colder every second, the smoke no longer fuming out of the cup.
“Oh, thanks.” I replied. Both of my hands rushed to grab the cup on the table, trying hard not to screw up in front of the person who rescued me. Peeking into the cup’s contents, the cappuccino released a scent of happiness, attracting me to figure out its flavor when it hits my taste buds. With much of a long consideration, I slowly closed in the distance of my mouth to the tea cup rim. I was hoping to break the ice with a simple greeting afterwards, it was easier said than done when eventually, I drank the entire cup.
And gulped it down my throat with no further thinking.
……
Hmm……
Not bad.
“You like it?” The stranger asked, curious of my response, maybe to comment on how well he made the drink.
I had to admit, this was impressive.
“It’s great. I like the cappuccino.”
“Thanks, I knew you will.”
To think it would get better in this ice-breaking session, having a chat while taking a decent drink was totally a great idea.
Yeah, it seemed to be that way.
“I’m sure you have some questions to ask me, right?” Said Mr. Mystery, deciding to commence our talk through a topic I would certainly and gladly chat about.
“Of course! I’ve got plenty of things I wanted to know, but may I know your name, mister?”
First of all, an introduction to see who am I up against.
The boy placed his cup of tea down and stood up. He slowly paced his way around the table, as he blocked out part of the candlelight from me before coming to a stop.
Putting out a hand, he opened his mouth to speak.
“The name’s…… Anonymous.”
I blinked, realizing that he was greeting me. Thus, I held out my hand to shake his.
“Oh, nice to meet you, Anonymous. My name’s……”
Seconds later, a bad thought just reminded me of something crucial for the self-intro.
I’ve forgotten my name.
“It’s all right. That’s part of your memory loss after your death. There is no need to be concerned. We’ll catch up with that soon.” Anonymous replied, turning back to get to his seat.
I felt a little rushed to consider that our talk was rather fast to cope with. Still, one cup of delicious cappuccino tended to make things normal.
Even if we’re in a space that I do not recognize.
And it’s all for discussing regarding whatever I did to get his attention.
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“So…… why am I here? Why did you save me?”
“To entertain myself. As an immortal……”
“Wait, you meant someone that lives forever?”
“Yep. And as I mentioned, I’m feeling quite bored recently. So I decided to perform what I do best.”
“And what would that be?”
“Breaking rules.”
“Say what now?”
“I’m going to give you a chance to reincarnate back to your world. I’ll reanimate your old body but you will not turn into an undead or any kind of monster. However, there will be one small condition you need to fulfill.”
“What is it, then?”
“You will have to give me one answer for my question. In exchange, you will be an immortal too.”
“Wait, you serious?”
“Do I look like I’m joking? Then perhaps I’ll take back the offer…”
“Ah? No! You’re not joking! Definitely not!”
“Good. Prepare yourself in a bit, we’ll be heading off to refresh your memories.”
Sigh.
I hate to make so many lies in one go on a person I barely knew, but this was an opportunity that comes once and just once. If I missed it or screwed it, then my efforts will be wasted, again.
I thought I would be the only one.
But as it turned out for me, fate had plenty of surprises.
And not so surprisingly, I was not shocked by the news. This wasn’t the first time it happened.
The lies will be unveiled one day, so I must make the best out of my time to bend him to my will. Or at least, make him be on my side.
With fate itself, this posed a challenge.
Yet, I laughed at it.
“Bring it on, fate! Give me your best shot!
Let’s see who gets the last laugh! Ha! Ha!”
……
I’d better make sure to let him learn it, the easy way or hard way. It has to work…
No, it must work.
Otherwise…… chaos will reign.
History will repeat.
It can’t happen a second time.
Finishing off my third cup of warm cappuccino which was added with seven cubes of sugar, I got up and called him to follow me. Despite the boy’s looks, a glance into the future with a unique Clairvoyance spell proved he was not to be underestimated. In the near future, he could even spar with me and possess a good chance to win. Granted, if he planned it well.
I may not be a close friend with the deities or being in part of their kin.
Still, I prayed that my own plan worked smoothly.