The bots crumbled at her feet. Two machines, resembling humans in shape, were turned to piles of rubble with a twitch of her arms. She felt strange, the gleaming metal of her new body was coming right beneath her skin. The edges of her skin in such places were still swollen and red, thin streaks of blood were running from the ruined flesh. Of course, she'd seen the augmented people before, and they didn't look anything like this. There were no sockets around her body, the metal ran all around her body underneath her flesh, enveloping her few remaining bones, protecting her barely moving insides, ensuring her survival and… producing the annoying sound over and over again.
Click, clack, click, clack.
The last trio of machines left in the training area turned to her, armed with rifles. Her steel leg nimbly carried her away from the incoming balls filled with paint, her new eye discerned the distance. The terminal, which was now burrowed into her brain, like a spine tick, told her the exact route she needed to take to evade the incoming attack. Her arms, one of steel and one of flesh, sliced like a pair of blades, cutting the two machines in half. She didn’t even have to use her claws, the mere momentum behind her limbs was enough to bisect the machines, crumbling their metal torsos and separating their vulnerable insides.
Click, clack, click, clack.
She was surprised at this show of might, of course. But Till explained it to her. Her bones were hollowed out by the nanomachines, the web of cables now encased her unbeating heart. The muscles of her natural body were strengthening through the injections of the stimulants, forcing them to grow even now, becoming bigger and tougher, just like her new synthetic muscles were. When she sliced through the bots, the skin on her natural arm suffered a cut from one of the broken pieces of metal from the destroyed bot. This cut was already healing, nanomachines within her sped up her healing, rebuilding her arm to become ever stronger, roughening her already tough skin. Ingo said that in the days ahead she will lose this miraculous healing ability. Her body will grow to be sufficiently strong enough to heal on its own like one of them should. And while the cut was closing, she felt nothing, not even an itch, nor a desire to scratch the damaged place at least.
Click, clack, click, clack.
The last bot before her backed down. The humanoid machine first became murky, and she could see the wonders of the machines' countless mechanisms through the suddenly transparent corpus: the pseudo muscles elastically moved limbs, the energy cells supplied energy to the steel body, and the complex terminal was calculating, attempting to predict her. The camouflage systems of the training bot were turning the machine invisible. The bot was using some sort of combat camo device, through incredible consumption of energy, the bot could turn itself invisible to the naked eye for several precious seconds. She could stop it, but he would be annoyed. No, today she needed to play by the book… To get everything back!
Click, clack, click, clack.
The machine turned invisible before her eyes, and she allowed the inner workings of her unnatural eye to scan the surroundings. In the meantime, the bot fired on her once more. The moment balls filled with paint left the field of invisibility, they became visible to her. Shifting her shoulders, she dodged them one after another. No matter how much she despised this motion, at the end she had to move her large head to the side, evading the last ball. The movement of her new, part steel, part organic spine shifting in her body. She could sense the movement of each and every bone in her body, feeling nothing at the same time. The best way to describe it was when if someone put a blank piece of wood into a sack and moved it from side to side before the eyes of the other person. This is what she sensed right now. Her body was dead, unliving, producing no feelings.
Click, clack, click, clack.
She located the target easily enough just by the traces the balls left in the air. It had to be slightly to the right of her. But he would be unhappy if she used instincts again instead of his technology. She ducked, pressing her paws toward the steel floor, leaving dents in it while her eye finally broke through the invisibility shroud of her opponent, allowing her to see it fully. At this very moment, she charged forward, propelling herself with all the might that her limbs could now produce. The machine in front of her was broken apart, she charged through it so fast that she left a round hole in its torso.
Click, clack, click, clack.
She stood up, hearing the fall of the bot on the ground behind herself. Her artificial lungs inhaled air automatically, through the entrances in her waist. He would be unhappy, he hated it when she forgot to breathe like normal. But she fulfilled her part of the deal, her foes were… She jumped away, sensing the vibrations from the underground. Not feeling, sensing. Her legs now were two marvelously made columns of steel, filled with countless sensors just like the rest of her body. Instead of feeling through her skin, changes in the air, sudden noises, tremors, all this information was recorded through the sensors and sent directly to her brain, faster than any natural signals could move. It made sense, after all, he wanted her to become one of them.
Click, clack, click, clack.
She froze upon seeing how the last foe came from underground. It was a loader bot, a machine which he used to bring a capsule with her inside from the hospital. During that time, she was submerged in a strange fluid, a fluid that relieved her pain while keeping her internal organs functioning. She was barely awake, but could remember the massive form of this machine. This was the machine that put her close to the operation table where she was reborn. It was a simple machine, one that she should have been able to deal with, and yet…
Click, clack, click, clack.
"No!" She shouted, falling on her steel ass, crawling away from the machine helplessly, flailing her limbs around like a cub. She hated this feeling, she hated herself, yet this thing… The front of this thing reminded her of jaws. Huntsman's jaws, just as they were about to close on...
Click, clack, click, clack.
The upper part of the loader bot disappeared. The projectile hit it from the left side, tearing a round hole in its side. The air pressure that followed the bullet tore the remaining body apart, bulging the parts to the right. With the integrity of the metal body compromised, the rest of the construction soon followed, crashing to the floor.
Click, clack, click, clack.
The strong and warm arms grabbed her by the shoulders, lifting her up. She blinked and felt something warm had been dropped over her shoulders. Wait. I can feel? She thought in surprise. She touched her cheek with her natural finger, almost fearfully, and felt the pressure. The warmth of her skin. The warmth of her finger. Tear on her cheek. She could feel! He gave her the feelings back!
"How are you?" Martyshkina dropped on one knee before her, the cloak of the warlord over her shoulders. The warlord always found time to watch over her during her training, after she was maimed.
"I am fine. Sorry for… this." She actually felt angry upon responding. She sized up her warlord! She had never dared to do it before, yet now she was hungrily sizing up the woman before herself, thinking about her chances…
Click, clack, click, clack.
"Be aware, Olesya just regained her feelings. Her hormones and emotions run wild, she might try and bite you." The voice of Till said from somewhere.
"Really now? Girl, you wanna go?" Martyshkina smiled into her face.
She threw her head up, baring her neck to the warlord. Never, she will never lay even a claw on Martyshkina. Not on her, never on her. The warlord saved her, saved them all! "I am sorry, warlord. It was unworthy of me, I…"
"Show some pride!" The warlord slapped her across the back, dragging her after herself toward the elevators leading above. The warlord walked soundlessly, while each of her steps was accompanied by the metal clanking sound produced by her new legs. Ingo said that she would soon get used to it, but for now she walked like an idiot. Once they got into the elevator, Martyshkina whispered to her, "I want you to take me down." She raised her brow, and the warlord nodded, "No, really. You and Aranea seem like a capable duo. Sure treat your soldiers better than we ever had. Train hard and drop me and Janine one day. Then our duties will be done, I can steal Jani away, we can leave the Tribe for good and go open a bar somewhere. Maybe we will even find ourselves some men once again. And you will work your asses in our stead."
Click, clack, click, clack.
"That… kinda an unusual dream, Marty." She smiled, getting the hint that she was permitted to speak freely and enjoying the feeling of the drool running down her throat. Such a simple feeling and such a marvelous one. She was worried about Ari, but that man said that she was fine. The stupid fool got herself into some trouble with wyrms, but another warlord saved her butt.
"Screw you, I am tired of the army’s life!" Martyshkina laughed, seeing how the elevator doors opened. She nodded to the corridor on the right, turning toward the door on the left herself, "Sorry, but I can’t spend any more time with you, Olesya. Pack needs me, Jani needs a bonk on the head to keep her in bed, and she needs someone to chat with. Tons of work to be done, so get well soon," The warlord’s voice dropped to a whisper, "And if he tries anything funny, just tell me. I will get you out of here this instant, I swear."
"Thank you, warlord," She said, hugging her and giving the cloak back, "But there is still something I need to do. Besides, he promised to let me go in a day anyway."
She pressed her back against the steel wall as she watched the warlord walk away, relishing the sense cold. Like an animal, she rubbed her back against the wall, enjoying the sweet-sweet feeling of her skin touching the other thing, the feeling of connecting. Even the pain in her body, numbed with painkillers, was like a blessing to her. She felt it again! She half expected pain in her bones from the metal, or pain in her insides because of the countless wires in her, but everything was in order. Safe for that blasted sound…
Click, clack, click, clack.
Guess, I will have to live with it. She sourly decided. It was just a day and she already wanted to hang herself to stop this blasted feeling. But no, she can’t. It’s a coward's way out. Twenty years. Just twenty years and everything will be fine again, Marco confirmed that it is possible, and Till has never lied to her before. She pressed a palm to her chest and almost cried. There was no heartbeat. A chunk of meat in her chest was unmoving. He denied her even the simple joys of life. How can one live if one's heart is not beating?
Click, clack, click, clack.
Snapping out of her despair, she walked down the corridor. She was familiar with the routine, the man made her do it every hour, never allowing her to rest or dwell on her mistakes or even have a minute to herself. She hated him, but at the same time admitted that he knew his business. She was always surrounded by people whom she trusted, Marco, Martyshkina, Svetlana… She gritted her teeth and opened the door.
Click, clack, click, clack.
The room inside was a pale orange color, the man somehow managed to order it to be repainted while she was in the sparring hall. In the middle of the room stood a large wooden table, shaped in a circle shape, surrounded by the three comfortable armchairs. Originally, there was a sofa here and the color of the room was different, but after the doctors questioned her, the situation and the color of the room changed to suit her mood better. Today’s doctor was a new woman, she was seeing her for the first time. The newcomer was an elderly woman, her grey hair reached her shoulders, a golden monocle was over her left eye. She was dressed in a long white coat.
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
She almost growled upon noticing Svetlana sitting in another armchair. The traitor, the bastard. She bit her tongue until it bled, allowing the blood to distract her from her anger. Svetlana was still dressed in her dusty field uniform, her eyes tired from overwork, her paws trembled slightly, and she was half asleep. Upon seeing her, Svetlana smiled, and she forced herself to return the smile, walking toward the empty armchair, sitting down and grabbing a plushie toy from the floor. He made it clear that she was here to heal and relax. Each time she tried to resist, the man had a way to "punch" her toward the right direction. The previous doctor recommended her to take her anger out on a toy, and now she was strangling it.
"Marco told me that he gave your message to Aranea," Svetlana yawned, looking surprised when she extended her paw toward her, "What?"
"Please," She begged, and Svetlana extended her paw in return. Her natural fingers touched the fingers of the other woman, and she felt herself trembling, "Warm. You are warm. I can feel the blood running, feel the smoothness of your skin…" She smiled, "You are alive."
Click, clack, click, clack.
"You are alive as well," Svetlana replied, turning away and letting go of the paw. She trembled, pressing the plushie toy closer to her body, no longer choking it, "Have I said something?" Svetlana asked, seeing this reaction.
She was silent. She needed to pretend in order to get away from this place. Her lies would easily be noticed, but she decided that it was harder for them to read her if she refused to talk.
"Olesya, you are among friends," The doctor said, taking a notepad into her hands, "You can tell us anything, we are here for you."
"If you will not cooperate, I will remove today’s reward," The voice of Till added from the ceiling, accompanied by the weak curses of someone and the sounds of industrial instruments, "Calm down, you fool! You will feel better, once your liver can work again."
"Till Ingo, you will not threaten the patient, or Outsider will be informed." The doctor said strictly, but she was already blurting out words, half mad with fear that she might lose the feelings again. The deal with this man was that she use the new abilities of her body and Till restore her ability to feel and hear naturally. He said that this was as easy as pressing a button. If it was that easy to give, then how easy could it be to take it away? No, she can’t endure the utter void again!
Click, clack, click, clack.
"Svetlana, I hate you. I hate you for saving me, I hate you for ignoring my will. Each time I see you, I feel anger, I feel like I might leap at you, bite you or even harm you," Svetlana looked down at her own paws, her expression unreadable. Against her feelings, she felt bad, Svetlana was always a nagging person, but she treated her wounds well in the past. They drank and partied together, by all rights she earned her spot in the pack, "I am sorry. I swear that I will never act on these impulses, but… It is how it is."
"I understand," Svetlana barely whispered, "If it will make you feel any better, I will request a transfer."
"Olesya, we will need to do something about this anger." The doctor said, writing something down in her notepad.
"Why?" She demanded to know, "Anger is what gives us strength. When you receive a bullet into your gut, it is your rage that drives you forward, to land a grip around the neck of your opponent, to propel yourself these few steps…" Her metal fist closed, crushing the windpipe of the unseen foe, "…And end the foe before he can hurt others. The anger born from envy drives us to excel, the anger born from hatred drives us to become stronger and stronger!"
"Interesting theory, Olesya," The doctor was writing something down, smiling to her, "However, I must remind you. Shortly prior to your injury, you and wolf hag Aranea had a fight."
"How do you know this?" She asked, confused.
"There are cameras all over the camp," The doctor explained, "but in this fight, both of you give in to your rage and nearly kill each other. Now tell me. Had you or Aranea died, how many of your pack members would have died in the recent battle?
"We stopped in the end." She said defensively.
"Yes, that is true. If you pardon me this observation, you showed more restraint than your friend, but both of you managed to make the correct choice. However, you only saved lives during the battle because you reigned in your anger against Aranea. By managing your rage and anger, you were able to fight side by side with your own soldiers, saving their lives," The doctor checked her notes, "Next, you apparently nearly hurt your pack member."
"Yes." She saw no reason to lie, still feeling shame burning in her. She decided to act like Ari would, no one pushed her in this direction. Initially, she decided to act like this because it was a fun idea, but over time she herself saw that this method worked. Right until Siri died, that is.
"If your teammate were injured, this would lower his chances in the battle, am I right? Pardon me, if I am mistaken, I have a limited understanding of military operations," The doctor said, and she only nodded, accepting the accusation. She elevated Mak, and he proved himself. Had she punished him in front of everyone, would anyone follow him? "That and you charged ahead during one of the training missions because, according to notes written by your former commanding officer, you felt angry that your friend might have prepared for the mission better," The doctor put the notes aside and looked at her, "How does your anger help you keep your soldiers safe or excel in any way? From where I stand, it looks like a detriment. "
She wanted to throw a bitter fit that this came at the cost of her own body, but the realization sank in, crawling deep within her thoughts against her will. This was true, wasn’t it? In the days of old, the Wolf Tribe would hit the foe head on, and how many pack members would have died during this? Meanwhile, defensive postures, restraint, collaborative efforts, and...
Click, clack, click, clack.
Closing her eyes, she made herself think, trying to find solitude among this damned noise. Because of her stupid envy, she and she alone drove a crack into her pack. Because of her sulking in despair and being angry at herself after Siri’s death, she neglected the proper training of her pack. Had they been better, who knows, maybe more would have survived.
Her eyes opened and Olesya looked at Svetlana: "You are staying. I agree to continue to work with Till Ingo, but only if Svetlana is the only one who will treat my body. This is my condition."
"Are you sure that you are in a position to make demands?" The voice of Till asked, accompanied by the sound of a working circular saw.
"Yes, don’t like it, just kill me now." Olesya snapped back at him, wondering what in the abyss he was doing.
"Svetlana will need to pass some additional training," Ingo said, sounding like he was lost in thought, before cursing loudly, "Damn you, you stupid fool! Stop trying to get your head into the saw! "Fine, Olesya, you won this round, we'll figure something out."
"But… you just said that you hate me." Svetlana blinked, looking at the wolf hag in confusion.
"Yes and…" Olesya forced herself to think and tell the truth, "I still do. I am sorry, I know that it is unfair, you saved my life, but I just hate you for this," Olesya gestured at her new body, "I would rather you leave me to die. Chin up!" She snapped at the nurse, "You saved Velka, right?"
"Saved is a relative term," Svetlana said carefully, "I simply ensured that she won't bleed out to death and will live long enough for the operation. She will still be spoon fed for a week at least, before she will be able to move her legs and arms once more. Her full recovery will take a month at least."
"Heh-heh, I won't let her live this one down," Olesya laughed, picturing all the ways she would mock the arrogant scout, "Anyway, point is, thanks to you, I am alive, Velka is alive, ten more people are alive! What in the Spirits name do you want more? You saved lives, you are an awesome person, and you will keep on saving lives if you stick with us! I swear that I will work with you, so please, if it isn’t much… stay with us. Help me and the others, please."
Click, clack, click, clack.
"I will." Svetlana smiled and raised her fist. Olesya forced herself to accept the fist bump, just like in good old times.
After the therapy session, Till allowed Olesya to return to her quarters in the "field research laboratory" as he called this place. Their agreement was still in place, Olesya would have to try on new power armor tomorrow, and if everything checks out, she would be allowed to rejoin the ranks. She told the doctor about her panic attack earlier today, and the woman gave her some pills to calm her nerves, sending Olesya back into the room and cancelling any training sessions for the forseeable future. Olesya dutifully swallowed them, along with dinner. To her disappointment, the food and the pills tasted like nothing, Till hadn’t deemed it fit to return these feelings back to her yet.
She looked in the refrigerator and saw rows of chocolate ice-cream. Such food was hard to get in the Wastes and in the Ravaged Lands due to how hot the area around here was and due to the fact that traders rarely transported such treats to the villages of the Wolf Tribe. She simply adored this hard-to-get food before, spending all her hard-earned tokens just to get one such treat, but upon seeing such untold riches now, all she felt was indifference. If you can’t feel the taste, what is the point of eating?
I guess, this is what depression feels like. Olesya thought, closing the refrigerator and walking to the bathroom. Looking at her monstrous form in the mirror, lighting herself up slightly with the gleaming crimson light from her augmetics eye, she finally understood how childlike her behavior earlier was. Getting all worked out because Ari got a bit ahead. As if that was significant. Getting all angry because people in the supply department were making jokes about how often her pack was breaking training equipment. As if anyone even cared about that! And now here she was, standing all alone, her heart dead, her pack way above her, while she was stuck deep underground, entombed like a corpse…
Click, clack, click, claaaaaaa…..
I can hear you.
She blinked when the entire mirror before her stretched far and wide, spreading like water across the wall. Against her will, she was pushed inside the surface, dropping into the deepest fog, landing on all fours on the stone floor. Jumping back on her feet, she looked around.
She was in the vast cavern, the floor filled with the murky fog. Sharp rocks, the size of a small hill, were coming from the floor, tearing the fog and scratching the surface of the cavern. She felt cold over her body and, looking down, saw that she was whole again, her limbs were strong, far thicker than before, and her claws were no longer in her fingers, but were outstretched. Instead of white, the claws on her paws now were ten blades of utter dark, reaching the size of a normal human in length, the claws on her legs resembled hooked blades that hungrily bit the ground below.
Am I going mad? Olesya asked herself, looking around.
No. The voice, the all-encompassing word, the word that demanded attention and worship, was uttered in this cavern. Turning around, she saw a throne of black stone, reaching all the way to the ceiling and into the stone above. On the elegantly made throne, a huge form lay, throwing one leg over the armrest of the throne. The truly gigantic form of the human was covered with elegant robes of black and purple, a crown made of black steel with a burning ruby in the middle held the long hair in place. A pale hand, the size of Olesya herself, supported a beautiful head, eyes, two burning orbs of hellfire, looked down at Olesya, burning into her very soul.
"Who are you?" Olesya asked, taking a step back.
I am the one who made everything in this world. The reason for all existence, the one who gave birth to you. You may call me God. The man on the throne spoke, without moving his lips.
"My mom and dad gave me life, pretender!" Olesya shouted back at him, shuddering at the sudden command to cover and worship this person.
They exist because I allowed it. Thus, you are as much my child as you are theirs. Look at yourself, my daughter, are you not beautiful now? The voice made Olesya look at herself, admiring the sheer might of her strange body. Ones who mutilated you… The forms of King, Huntsman, and other members of the Resistance were jerked off from the fog, dangling like toys before Olesya. Unseen will hold them in the air. Ones who locked you in a steel coffin. Ingo, Svetlana, and the therapists were jerked from the fog as well, lifted in the air before the figure. Ones who dare to think that she is better than you. Aranea was jerked off from the fog along with Martyshkina, their arms bent backward by the will of this monstrous person. Their lives are yours, just ask. This eternal body is yours, just accept my blessing. The hand of the person on the throne extended to Olesya, his finger longer than her body. Accept me, praise me, worship me, and live up to the rage within you. Make the world pay. This is all I ask from you, my daughter. Fill the lands with blood in my name. With these words, the throats of people hanging in the air were torn away, blood poured from them, falling onto the stone floor like rivers.
"No!" Olesya shouted at him, slashing with her new claws at the finger before her. Her claws shattered, speared her with pain, "Never! Aranea, Svetlana! No, don’t you dare to harm them!"
Then you are irrelevant. Begone from my sight.
The world stretched once more before Olesya, stretching to the impossible limit, she was drawn somewhere, away and…
…Ck, click, clack, click.
She found herself standing before the same mirror, blood dripping from her nose. In a panic, she checked her body, calming herself upon seeing that her few remaining claws were still intact. She felt scared, terror grabbed her thoughts at the mere idea that for a moment, just for a moment, she was willing to give in and give up the lives of Svetlana and Aranea. Simply because she was angry at one and envied the other. Because of these feelings, she was ready to doom living people.
Click, clack, click, clack.
No more. She decided, calling and reporting this event to mister Till. The scientist was surprised, upon investigation, he found that there was some sort of spatial distortion in this very room. Grumbling in curiosity, he asked for help from the Investigation Bureau, while Olesya called her family. Till ensured that she would have daily contact with both her parents, her dad was looking after her brothers and sisters, while her mom served in the Wastes. Olesya omitted what had happened to her and simply talked for nearly an hour with her parents, before turning off the terminal. She was half-heartedly considering calling Aranea, but she was also terrified. Her friend always struggled to not become a monster, and what was Olesya now, if not some kind of a walking cadaver?
She walked toward the bed and looked at it. Till refused to return her the ability to sleep, not until she reaches the rank of a warlord. It would be a waste of time to simply lie down and cry.
Click, clack, click, clack.
"I have a duty before my pack." Olesya said and reached for the terminal, finding the books about tactics and usage of energy weapons. No matter what, she still lived. Twenty years. Just twenty years, and this nightmare will be over.