November was well over halfway done, and I was walking down the Oceanside hallways towards my next class when I was halted in my tracks by none other than Farrah Clark.
As if that on its own wasn't surprising enough, she then proceeded to hand me a small yellow card. On it was a date and time for that Friday along with her address. She told me she was having a birthday party and she really wanted me to attend. I was taken aback, but she seemed genuine. After all, even though I didn't like her very much, I was never clear on where exactly our relationship stood – or rather, what she thought of me. Perhaps this was a sort of peace offering. So, giving Farrah the benefit of the doubt, I pocketed the card and told her I'd come if I was able.
I found out later that Nathan was going too, which sweetened the deal for me, as I'd been looking to spend some more time with him. Spencer was also planning on attending and she doubled down on this when I told her I was invited. With her there, I knew I'd have a lot more fun. Besides, it was the end of the week, and I hadn't attended a party in a while.
On Friday night, Nathan drove to Farrah's house, and I met him there. I strolled up to his black Jeep wearing a plum tank top tucked into black carpenter jeans with white sneakers. Nathan grinned when he saw me, exiting his car. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, giving me butterflies like usual.
"Hey, I've been meaning to ask," I began after a moment. "Um... What exactly...are we?"
He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"Are we, you know...in a relationship with each other?"
"We're just having fun together," he chuckled, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. "I'm not into labels. Being casual...lets us both find our footing, don't you think?"
"...Okay," I replied. I guess that made sense. I wasn't entirely sure, but I knew that I was sort of beginning to consider Nathan as my boyfriend. He had become a real part of my life in the past month, and that made me feel...curious about what we were, what we could become, and how far we could go. I needed his help in thinking through the logistics, but if he wasn't ready, then I just had to wait. In all honesty, my life was so hectic that I couldn't afford to waste time worrying about defining our relationship. Still, I couldn't help wondering.
"You look really hot tonight, by the way," he commented as he led me towards Farrah's house.
I blushed lightly, unsure of how to feel about that. "Uh, thanks."
We arrived at the front door and walked inside. It was packed with people. Everyone was drinking, talking, laughing, dancing. Music thumped from the stereo and pulsated through the house. Nathan's friends came over to greet us, and I immediately recognized the girl with the teal hair, whose name I'd learned by then – Veronica. Spencer had told me earlier all she knew about her: She'd been suspended twice, once for fighting and once for stealing; her school attendance was unpredictable at best, and her parents rarely answered phone calls from the school. She was loud, unruly, and rebellious. If you put Veronica up against a wall, I'd bet she'd punch you in the face just because she could. She was also Nathan's ex, as of a few months ago.
To my surprise, Nathan went in for a hug. "Good to see you're still standing, V," he said before letting go.
She laughed, and I caught a glimpse of her tongue piercing. "Told ya I wouldn't get caught." She then turned to me, giving me once-over. "So, this is your new girl? Chloe, huh? She's cute. Like a real lady." I felt my face heat up but said nothing.
Nathan slung his arm around me. "Tell me something I don't know."
"Hope you know what you've gotten yourself into," Veronica told me. "This one's a handful."
"For fuck's sake, quit being a jerk," Nathan replied, smiling at her and rolling his eyes.
We stood there for a bit longer, getting acquainted. It's safe to say that Nathan's friends weren't exactly my cup of tea. They were a rowdy group who had no problems taking digs at each other on a regular basis. I mostly stayed quiet the entire time. Nathan, however, was the exact opposite – he was speaking loudly with each of them, laughing and joking. I wondered if he would notice if I left. I thought about it for a while, but Veronica's interactions with him made me stay. She was getting awfully...friendly with him. And what bothered me was that he reciprocated for the most part. We weren't really dating, so I felt it wasn't my place to say anything, but it was still strange. Although, I knew almost nothing about relationships, so it was entirely possible that I was overreacting.
Thankfully, Spencer soon came in to save me from that interaction. I caught her up on everything as we made our way to the drinks table. I reached for a can of this raspberry cooler I liked, feeling that I'd need a bit of a buzz to get me through tonight. While I did so, Spencer checked her reflection in a nearby mirror. She looked great as usual; she was wearing a black satin button-up crop top with red flame embroidery, black pinstripe shorts, and spiked platform shoes.
"I'm gonna be honest, Chlo," she said, "I don't know how to feel about Nathan. I mean, he's clearly interested in you, and you seem to be interested in him. But I'm a little worried that he's more interested in Veronica."
I frowned. "Why doesn't he get with her, then? There has to be some reason why he keeps me around."
"Yeah, true. But... Maybe... Maybe it's just an attention thing? What do you think?"
"Who knows? I've never dated anyone before." I shrugged. "I just think he's cute. And interesting."
She nodded, dropping the subject. "C'mon, let's check out the snacks."
On our way to the kitchen, we passed Farrah, who was clad in a navy romper with a sunflower pattern and expensive-looking jewelry. She was surrounded by people. "Hey, guys!" she called out to us. Her expression was warm at first glance, but something underneath it seemed…off.
"Happy birthday," Spencer and I said simultaneously.
"Oh, yeah, thank you. And thanks for coming! I'll see you around, okay?" She gave us a wide smile and continued down the hall.
I nudged Spencer. "Why does she come off as kinda...fake?"
"I wonder if the jewelry is," she joked.
We found a vacant spot at the kitchen island and took our seats. The counters and tables were covered in various snacks, including a large, tiered birthday cake. I grabbed a handful of pretzels and munched on them as we chatted.
"So, has Farrah been the same all throughout high school?" I asked.
"That's the weird thing," Spencer said. "She moved here right before starting ninth grade. Back then, she was a lot quieter. Kept to herself. Still snarky, though. I remember we were in the same freshman seminar, and she kept glaring at me. Maybe because I had those awful, coloured streaks in my hair, but still." She shrugged. "As time went on, and she made connections, she became super, uh... Confident."
I tilted my head. "Do you think she's actually dating Luke?"
Spencer opened her mouth to reply, but instead glanced over my shoulder and then up to the ceiling, as if avoiding something. Following her line of sight, I turned around. Across the room, but not too far from us, Luke was leaning against the kitchen wall. He wore a light blue hoodie that hugged his broad shoulders, grey shorts, and a black denim baseball cap. It seemed like he'd just arrived because his eyes scanned the room before landing on me. Then he straightened.
Is it a coincidence that Luke is at this party right now…?
...No. It definitely isn't.
"Chloe, he's looking right at you," Spencer spoke into my ear. "It's like he's checking you out." I turned back to roll my eyes at her. Then I saw him slowly make his way through the crowd to where we were seated. And sure enough, just before he reached us, Farrah swooped in to intercept him.
She wrapped both her arms around one of his. "Lucas! Finally, you're here!" she exclaimed. "I was worried you'd forgotten about me."
He paused, then laughed politely. "No, of course not. Happy birthday."
"You remembered, awesome!" she said with a huge smile. "It's so great to see you. You're so much fun, you know that? You never get boring." I cringed internally. She had a thing for him, no doubt. I could see it on her face, the excited, almost possessive look in her eyes.
Luke's face flushed slightly. "Ah... Thanks, Farrah."
She grinned. "So, when are we going to hang out? I think it'd be cool to do something together, like shopping or going to the beach or something. I'm free whenever."
"Uh... Well, I'm not sure," he answered, seeming a bit uncomfortable despite his cordial smile. He scratched the back of his neck. "I've kinda got a lot on my plate right now."
"Oh, yeah. A smart guy like you? That's totally understandable," she said, still smiling. "We'll get together for a quick dinner or something, I promise. I'm sure I can help you find some time for m–"
Just then, Farrah was cut off by her friend who burst into the conversation. "Hey, someone flipped the drink table over!"
She huffed audibly, only diverting her gaze from Luke for a second. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere," she told him.
The three of us watched as she disappeared into the crowd with her friend. Before she left, she gave Luke a flirty wink, a smile still in place. It was clear she wanted to talk to him and was going to be persistent about it.
I took a sip of my drink as Luke turned to face me. "Hey, what's up?" he greeted.
"Just hanging out," I replied. "Nice hat, by the way. It looks good on you." Spencer's eyes widened subtly like she was surprised at what I said. And honestly, I had to wonder myself what compelled me to say that.
"Thanks," Luke said with a chuckle. He took it off, then ran his hand through his hair. "Maybe it'd look better on you, though." Before I could say anything else, he reached out and carefully set his cap on my head, then nodded firmly as if satisfied. I laughed, pulling it down so it fit snugly.
We chatted for a few more minutes, joking around like normal, before Farrah returned. When she saw I was wearing Luke's hat, she shot me a glare that felt like she wanted to strangle me. She then promptly grabbed Luke by the arm and dragged him away to the dance floor. Spencer and I were about to join them when Spencer pointed out that I hadn't seen Nathan in nearly half an hour. I encouraged her to go dance without me before setting off to find him.
The house had gotten fuller since I'd arrived, making it harder to walk around. It was situations like this that my moderate height advantage came in handy. After weaving my way through countless groups of teenagers, I finally spotted Nathan and his friends in the basement living room. His head hung low, and he was laughing about something. I was about to call out to him when I heard one of his buddies say my name. They were talking about me.
Swiftly, I concealed myself behind the partition wall beside the bar. The basement was noticeably quieter than upstairs, allowing me to eavesdrop.
"...been following the rules?" someone asked.
I heard Nathan laugh. "Yep. I've hung out with her a ton, complimented her, and told her I liked all the same shit she does. I've said all I needed to say."
"And?" someone else chimed in.
"And, it's almost too easy," Nathan continued. "She's like a walking cliché. I have to speed things up. I'll have her in my bed before sunrise tomorrow, hands down."
I couldn't believe it. He actually said that. He'd been flirting with me for a whole month, and now he was acting like he had me on a string? I swallowed nervously, the muscles in my jaw clenching as I thought of how close we'd been before. My heart sank. I could feel the anger building inside me. I'd heard enough. It was time to get out of there. I couldn't stand it. I needed to leave before I heard something that'd make me do something I'd regret. But just as I was about to slink away towards the stairs, I saw a flash of teal in the corner of my vision.
Veronica.
Slowly, I peered around the edge of the partition only to see her whispering something in Nathan's ear. He grinned, then replied quietly. They both looked around, neither of them spotting me, then she grabbed his hand and led him upstairs. If either of them had turned around, they would've seen me. They both seemed too distracted to do that. I watched them go from my dim corner, arms crossed and heart thudding. Was it wrong that I was jealous? It's not like Nathan was my boyfriend. Still, the way he looked at Veronica, like he adored her, that really got to me. And she wasn't just some girl – she was his ex. Wasn't he kind of leading me on? At the very least, it had become painfully clear that we were, to put it lightly, incompatible.
After the shock had settled, I started feeling angrier by the second. I felt disgusted. I felt like an idiot. What was I thinking, letting myself get tangled up with him? What had made me fall that quickly? Both adrenaline and alcohol were coursing through my veins. So, I did something that maybe I shouldn't have. I followed them – from a safe distance, of course.
I crept up the stairs about fifteen seconds after them. Thanks to Veronica's vibrant hair, I could easily trail them through the crowds without being right on their heels. They were walking a little fast, heading towards the second floor. I pursued, keeping a good twenty feet behind them. The music blasting throughout the house practically became background noise to the sound of my heartbeat in my ears. It was hard to tell whether the party was still going strong or whether the atmosphere had changed as the sun dropped. The only thing that seemed to be constant was that they were still holding hands.
In the blink of an eye, Veronica and Nathan slipped into the hallway closet together, closing the door behind them. I was now alone in the hall. I cursed under my breath. What was I supposed to do? Confront them? Just whip open the door? Or leave them be? How long could they stay in there? My mind was racing, and my brain felt foggy. All I could think about was how their hands were probably all over each other right now.
After checking to make sure nobody else was around, I reached for the doorknob. Being a closet, it was obviously unlocked. My heart pounded so hard that it felt like it was trying to burst out of my chest. I bit the inside of my cheek. My fingers were lingering on the knob. Sounds of quiet laughter and rustling clothing could be heard inside. All I wanted was to rip the door open and tell them how disgusted I was. But I'd do that, and then what? Run off? What's the point? I wanted nothing to do with either of them after tonight.
I took a second to breathe. With every nerve I possessed, I was about to open the door, but a voice inside me said, 'Don't do it'. Maybe it was my own voice, maybe it was Kadia's. Regardless, I decided to actually listen to it for a change. With a frustrated sigh, I closed my eyes and forced myself to let it go.
By then, my good mood was completely ruined. I just wanted to find Spencer and go home. So, I trudged back downstairs and back into the dense crowd to search for my best friend. After a few minutes of standing around in the sea of people, scanning faces, I decided to cut a path right through the throng and start checking the other side of the house.
And that's when I saw it.
Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I turned into the dining room to see Farrah standing in the far corner, away from the main crowd, pressed up against Luke.
I could've sworn that I caught Farrah's eye through the reflection of the mirror beside them.
All of a sudden, she took his face in her hands.
And then they kissed.
Holy hell.
I watched Luke grip her shoulders. His eyes were squeezed shut. Was he into this?
The seconds passed like molasses. In reality, I'd probably only seen them for no more than a second or two, but it felt like much longer. It was as if my feet were glued to the floor.
Luke must've seen me at that point because he finally pushed Farrah off of him and stared at me wide-eyed. "Chloe...!" He started to step away from her, but she grabbed his shirt and pulled him back, but not before shooting me a smug look. I didn't see what happened after that, as I was already walking away, fuming.
I only made it a few steps before Spencer appeared beside me, her head bopping to the music. "Yo, there you are! Did you find Nathan?" Her ecstatic demeanor immediately vanished when she took in my expression. "Hey... What's wrong? You look like you just got sucker-punched in the gut."
"Look," I said bluntly, hooking a thumb over my shoulder.
She furrowed her eyebrows, glanced behind me, then gasped. "Fuck, you've got to be kidding."
I continued walking away, leaving Spencer to catch up, because I honestly wasn't in the mood to talk about this. However, the look in her eye told me she quite possibly was going to confront Farrah and Luke first. So, I ended up walking out the front door by myself. I couldn't understand what was going on. The only guy I'd ever kissed was interested in me for entirely wrong reasons. And one of my close friends was practically making out with Farrah, of all people, and I couldn't figure out why I was so mad about that. I stomped down the driveway, the night breeze blowing through my hair. I was cold, tired, and angry.
"Hey, Chloe!" a familiar voice called out. "Where are you going?" I turned around to see Nathan leaning against his Jeep, seemingly waiting for someone. Probably Veronica. His hair was messier than it had been, and his shirt was partially unbuttoned. I said nothing and turned back around. "I'm talking to you, you know," he added.
"Don't care," I replied.
At that, Nathan grabbed my wrist and pulled me back towards his car. "What's with the attitude?" he asked, a smirk spread across his face. "It's a party. Relax."
I tried to jerk my hand away, but I already knew he was much stronger than me. I didn't panic, though. Even if I wasn't in my Emiarhian body, I knew I was still capable of some self-defense tactics. "I have to go," I told him, trying to keep my voice calm.
He exhaled roughly. "What, so you ignore me all night, you don't talk to my friends, and now you want to leave? What's wrong with you?"
I felt a flash of anger. "Nothing is wrong with me. I just want to go home."
"I don't want you to leave, though." His grip tightened around my wrist. It was starting to hurt. "Stay at my place tonight. It's not far from here."
"That's all right. I'll walk."
"You are so stubborn!"
My jaw clenched slightly. "Nathan, let me go."
"No. I want you to stay. Stop pretending; you know what you're doing. I don't like you talking to other guys." His voice was getting louder.
I scoffed. "Why do you care? I'm not doing anything wrong."
"You're with me," he snapped back, sounding offended.
I stared at him in surprise. "What are you talking about?! You're the one that didn't want to commit to anything!"
"I'm not talking about commitment. I'm talking about you flirting with other guys while stringing me along. That's what I don't like." His tone grew angrier. I felt myself getting angry too, but I stopped myself from losing my temper. "I want you to myself."
My back was against the passenger door. He then took my face by the chin and forcefully pressed his lips to mine. The smell of alcohol was prominent on his breath. A shock went through me, and it took a second for my instincts to kick in. I started squirming and fighting against his hold, eventually managing to twist his arm and knee him, albeit lightly, in the groin. He dropped to the ground.
I was fed up. "You are such a hypocrite!" I said, fists clenched. "I heard you talking about me to your friends, and I saw you go into the closet with Veronica. I don't know if we even had anything in the first place, but whatever it was, it's over."
Slowly, Nathan stood up. The moonlight shone brightly on his face, his expression cold and cruel. "So you stalked me? You're even crazier than I thought." He pointed to his car. "Get in. We're not done talking."
"No. Fuck you," I exclaimed, starting to walk towards the house, figuring that was safer than the nighttime streets.
Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed the back of my shirt, and before I could react, slammed me against the car door. The force caused my head to fly back, sending a surge of pain down my neck. Nathan's fingers dug into my shoulders as he shook me. He was yelling now. "Are you deaf?! You can't leave until you say you're sorry!"
"Get off of me!" I shouted, managing to hastily get my foot up high enough to kick him in the stomach. Nearly every cell in my body told me to start swinging fists, but I just barely managed to restrain myself. I'd made a lot of progress in fixing my impulsivity since I started training with Kadia. She always called me out on it, knowing that it could easily be a fatal flaw in a hostile situation, so I felt like I'd disappoint her by regressing now, even if I was on Earth.
Nathan let out a loud grunt and released his hold. "Don't fucking do that! You hear me?!" He was in full-blown rage mode. This was the side of him I hadn't seen before. He was so angry he was acting like a wild animal.
I was shaking, still trying to recover from the blow to the back of my head. My body was in shock, and I had a growing sense of dread that told me it wasn't over yet. Before I could gather myself enough to run inside, Nathan turned to leave himself.
He shoved me out of the way and started heading to the backyard. "Screw this. You're not worth my time."
With a sigh, I trudged back to the house's entrance. My head felt like it was going to explode as I tried to figure out what I should do. I was trembling from the temperature drop combined with the adrenaline. Whatever just happened felt like it came out of nowhere. Nathan was obviously drunk, but I had no idea he could be that aggressive. I didn't know what to think. I was so angry that he'd treated me like that, but I was also upset at myself for getting involved with him.
I tried to calm my heartbeat as I approached the front door. Just then, before I could reach the handle, it flew open, revealing Luke standing there.
His eyes were like saucers. "Hey. I...need to talk to you." He looked as anxious as I felt.
"It's fine," I said, raising my hand. "I don't care about it." That was for sure a lie. But exactly why I cared? That was more clouded.
"Well, I wouldn't have gone looking for you if I didn't have something to disprove... If I didn't care..." He inhaled through his nose, his breath seeming to quicken. I was beginning to wonder what was going on in his head. "Listen, I don't want people getting the wrong idea. Hear me out."
His words sounded so serious that I couldn't help but let him continue. I simply folded my arms and nodded.
Luke cleared his throat. "Farrah kissed me. Out of left field. I-I mean there was no buildup, no indication, nothing. We were just talking and then she pounced on me. I didn't... I didn't expect it."
My gaze was fixed on my shoes. I really wanted to believe him, but I had no way of knowing the truth. If he wasn't lying, then that made me hate Farrah even more for assaulting him. I still couldn't be sure. She was gorgeous, athletic, confident... It was hard not to believe the kiss was intentional.
"A likely story," I muttered. "Why are you telling me this, anyway?" Luke didn't seem to be prepared for that question, and hesitated, giving Farrah just enough time to cut him off.
"Hello?!" she cried out, stomping over towards us. "What's going on here?"
I took a step back. "I was just leaving, actually."
"You'd better," Farrah replied harshly. "I'm so sick of you harassing my boyfriend."
My anger which was building up until now was boiling over. "Harassing? That's rich coming from you."
Luke interjected, "Wait, boyfriend? Farrah, since when–?"
She immediately shushed him while maintaining eye contact with me. "If you're thinking of making a scene like this in front of everybody, you're wrong. You will NOT ruin my birthday. Chloe, I'm warning you. If you don't turn around and leave right now, you're gonna regret it."
I rolled my eyes. "Gladly."
"Wait!" I heard Spencer shout. She jogged up to me, putting herself between me and Farrah. "I'm not finished with you," she told her, planting her hands on her hips. "What makes you think you're so much better than everyone else? That you can just do whatever you want to people with no consequences?"
"Ugh, not you again," Farrah replied. "Get out of my face, bitch. That's it," she added, pointing to me. "Out of here right now, or I'll make you."
"I doubt you could do anything more than try," I said in an equally sharp tone. "But I'm going anyway."
To my surprise, Spencer continued, "You're the bitch, Farrah. And everyone with half a brain can see that. You love to walk all over people and have them bend to your will. But guess what? That doesn't make you powerful. That doesn't make you confident. No, because apparently, your ego is too incredibly inflated that there's no room in your skull for brain cells to survive! You're a manipulative, pitiful, self-centered, selfish, whiny, spoiled piece of trash. The fact that you can't see that makes you even more stupid than I thought."
Farrah's eyes were like fire, and her face was red like it too. It seemed like Spencer had stunned her into silence. With not a word more, she turned on her heel and returned to the party.
At that moment, my ears tuned into a group of voices that sounded like they were drawing near. I felt my anxiety spike when I recognized them. My heart instantly started beating quickly again.
Nathan's hand landed on my shoulder. "We're heading out now. Come on."
"I already told you no," I retorted, pushing his hand away. "Leave me alone."
He shook his head. "I can't do that. I can't trust you to behave when you're alone now. Let's go."
"Are you serious? I'm not a child," I argued. "And I thought I made myself clear that I don't want to see you anymore."
"Right, sure. You'll come crawling back eventually. Why not save yourself the trouble?" He looked around at everyone, eyes narrowing at Luke. "Oh, or are you onto the next guy already?"
I watched Luke's face harden. The tension in the air was palpable. I'd had more than enough.
"You're only embarrassing yourself here, Nathan," Spencer piped up. "Cut it out."
He ignored her. "How long is your new man gonna last?"
"Shut up already," I said, my voice stern.
"Hey, why are you so mad? I'm the one who should be angry," he insisted. "You tricked me into thinking you actually liked me!"
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Geez, I actually did like you! But that was before I found out you're a violent psycho!" At that, Spencer and Luke both glanced at me incredulously.
Nathan, however, merely raised his eyebrows. His friends laughed from behind him. "Wow, you're dumb and you're rude. No shit, you've never had a boyfriend." My face burned in embarrassment.
Luke suddenly moved to stand right beside me. "Piss off, dude. Seriously."
Nathan gave a derisive snicker. "Oh, tough guy over here. Let me guess: You've never even been in a fight before. Have you, tough guy?"
Luke held his ground. "Keep mouthing off and find out for yourself."
"Ha! If you weren't such a wuss, I'd kick your ass right now. It just wouldn't be fair."
"Like I wouldn't put you down first."
Spencer decided to intervene in an effort to defuse the situation. "No, this is not happening. Cool it, the both of you." Nathan and Luke continued to stare each other down with mutual revulsion. "Chloe, we're going home," she added, taking my arm and pulling me towards the street. I happily let her.
Tonight was a disaster. I had a headache from hell, I hadn't eaten actual food for a while, and the thought of facing my parents and explaining to them what had happened made me cringe with dread. I hadn't even talked to Spencer about it yet. And the thought of having to see Nathan, Luke and Farrah at school again made me cringe even more. Spencer and I ambled slowly back towards our section of the neighbourhood in silence.
"...You okay?" she finally spoke up.
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
"Go ahead," I answered, disregarding her concern. "You can say it."
"What?"
"That you told me so."
She sighed. "When I was voicing my worries, I wasn't hoping for them to be true. I really didn't think things would explode like this."
"That makes two of us," I said, rubbing the side of my head. "I'm so done. I just want to sleep forever."
"Sounds nice," she chuckled.
We turned the corner and my mood improved instantly. Home, at least, was an oasis of familiarity and safety.
I stopped at the foot of my driveway. "Thanks for defending me tonight, Spence. Text me when you get home."
"Will do," she replied with a nod. "Take it easy. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"
I smiled weakly. "Okay."
Spencer turned away, but stopped. "Oh, and uh... What are you going to do about Luke's hat?"
My stomach lurched. Apprehensively, I lifted my hand to my head. Luke's cap was still there. I'd completely forgotten.
Damn it.
----------------------------------------
The next morning, I awoke to the typical neighbourhood sounds of birds chirping, cars passing by, and a distant lawnmower. I stared up at the ceiling, thinking about last night. If I had confronted Nathan and Veronica, what would've happened? If I had stayed longer in that hallway, if I hadn't had turned that one corner, would I have missed seeing Luke and Farrah? Or would she have just made out with him somewhere else? As the tiredness faded, the anger was starting to return into my system. There was definitely something about Farrah that night, something in her eyes. There was no way she didn't see me. She knew I was there. She did what she did, knowing I was watching. Maybe it wasn't a coincidence. Maybe it was something planned in advance. That made my blood boil.
Then, a new thought hit me: Was there something planned in advance between Veronica and Nathan? How long was he wanting to get with her? And her with him? Was it a spur-of-the-moment decision or had they both been thinking about it for a while? Thinking about it was only making me more frustrated.
I rolled over and checked my phone. No new messages. It was already past ten o'clock. I didn't feel like getting up, so I buried my head in my pillow. Not only did I have to deal with this new drama, but it was all of that on top of the stress of Emiarhia, especially now that I was embarking on dangerous quests. More complications were the last thing I needed. Luke's hat was sitting on my desk like a big, glaring reminder of last night. I knew I'd have to return it sooner rather than later, but I wasn't exactly looking forward to it.
Suddenly, I heard quick steps pacing down the hallway, stopping right outside my bedroom. There was a soft knock at my door.
"Good morning, starshine! The earth says, 'Hello!'" Naturally, it was Spencer. I groaned loudly. She slowly opened the door, her eyes landing on me. "Uh oh. This doesn't look good."
I didn't move. "Spence, I love you, but please go away."
"No, I can't handle you like this. It makes me want to curl up into a little ball and die." She walked in, dropping her bag on the floor. "When was the last time you saw sunlight? It's pitch black in here."
"Just leave me alone, please? I'm kinda going through it right now."
"Yeah, which is exactly why I'm here. So we can talk about this." I squinted as she pulled back the curtains, brightening the room. "I'm not going to let you sulk in your bed all day, all right? I'll drag you by the ankles if I have to. Now come on! Get your face out of that pillow!"
I groaned again, but eventually sat up, my hair a mess around my head. "I'm not sad, just...frustrated."
Spencer climbed onto the bed, crossing her legs. "And you should be. After you told me everything that happened yesterday... Wow. That really sucked. You must be more than a little disappointed."
"Do you think I'm gullible?" I asked. "Because it sure feels like everyone's been fooling me lately."
"No, but I think... I think you're just a nice girl that accidentally got involved with the wrong crowd. It was a mistake, but there's no way you could've known that ahead of time."
I sighed. "I'm so mad. It's one thing that Nathan is a scumbag, but at least he doesn't really try to hide it. I just noticed it too late. But Farrah... It's like a game to her. A stupid competition. She thinks she can do whatever the hell she wants and get away with it. I'm not mad at Luke, I'm mad that this happened to him. I don't know why he'd lie to me about it, so I guess I have no reason not to believe him. I just feel so bad. He didn't ask to be caught up in this. Like, it just had to be Farrah..."
"Yeah, she seriously needs to be taken down several notches," Spencer agreed. "But, I mean, the fact that Luke went after you after it happened definitely says something. He really didn't want you thinking the wrong thing, no matter how much Farrah tries to force a relationship between them. Have you wondered...why he did that?"
"I can't even think straight right now," I replied, burying my face in my hands. "I feel like I was completely played. Like I walked directly into not one, but two traps last night. How do I even know Nathan was interested in me in the first place? We never even went on a date. He never asked. The closest thing was when sometimes he'd talk about something he wanted to do and say I could come if I wanted, without asking if I was even interested in that thing. That's not normal, is it? What if it was all faked, and I had no idea? What if I was just... Just..."
"Just some random girl who happened to be within his proximity and didn't immediately run away?"
"Exactly! Like if it wasn't me, it would've been some other naïve girl."
Spencer shook her head. "I'm so pissed that I wasn't there when he got all aggressive. I applaud you for not knocking him out cold right then. If it was me, he would've been driving home with a keyed car and way fewer teeth."
I chuckled. "I believe that. I just...can't believe it even happened. Like I said, I feel so stupid. It's like he was waiting for me. I guess, knowing me, he was waiting for me to finally let down my guard so he could creep up and take advantage."
"Don't feel stupid. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I know. It's just annoying realizing that had I thought more about it and been more cautious beforehand, I probably could've avoided this."
Spencer reached over and squeezed my hand. "Hey, hindsight is always 20/20. That's the point of making mistakes, right? To learn from them. And now you're smarter about things from recognizing your mistake."
I closed my eyes and fell backwards, letting my head sink into my pillow. "Everything turned upside-down when I moved here. Rarely anything happened at my old school. At least not to me. Other than Joy… Nobody would bat an eye in my direction. But now, it seems like everything that I was 'supposed' to experience over the course of four years got squished into one."
Spencer leaned back to lie beside me, her head propped up on a second pillow. "Yeah, I definitely wouldn't call Oceanside a quiet school. We've got some…characters. Plus, you transferred late. You couldn’t have really stuck out much further if you tried."
"But that’s just the thing – I wasn’t trying to!" I stuck my hands up in exasperation. "Before, I never had to worry about what people thought about me, or my reputation, or rumours, or anything other than some stupid girls being nasty for no reason. And I still don’t care about any of that stuff because that’s what I’m used to doing. But people expect me to care. They’re surprised when I don’t. So yeah, sometimes I ignore my problems. It’s not a good thing, but I guess it has helped me snub opinions that don’t matter. But now, it feels like everything’s changed. Maybe that sounds stupid. I don’t know if 'attention' is the right word... It’s all this weirdness all at once."
"Even me?" Spencer grinned.
"Well, you’re the best kind of weird," I laughed. "I just have pretty much zero experience being in the spotlight. What do I know about boys, or relationships, or who’s genuine and who’s not? I don’t know what people are really like, or who’s dated who, or what the friend groups are. So, when everything around me changes... I question if I should change, too. If I’m saying the right things, or doing the right things, or acting the right way. I can’t help but second-guess myself when I’m thrown into uncharted territory. …I don’t know if I know what I’m doing, Spence."
"Sometimes I eat an entire bag of candy and realize the same thing about myself." She sat up and shrugged. "You don't need to change; you just need to be yourself. And in doing so, trust your gut, and make decisions that are best for you, not what others think you should do."
"I wish I had your confidence."
"I didn’t always have it," she pointed out. "And I’m not confident all the time, either. Nobody is. Hell, you’ve seen my scars. Confidence is something that takes plenty of time to build up, because it comes from a place that needs to be genuine, at least in the long run. It took me years to realize how much control I actually had over my own life. And it's okay to fuck up sometimes and have to set yourself on a different path. That's literally a huge aspect of living." She tilted her head to the side. "Maybe you're thinking too much about this, Chloe. It's just a few people trying to make things tough for you. You're really gonna let them push you around?"
It made sense that that's how this would appear to her, but I knew that everything in Emiarhia was also part of the reason why I was feeling the way I was. There was so much pressure on me there too, more than there was on Earth, and I without a doubt found myself questioning more and more if I was cut out for the job, or even doing things right as a saviour. Of course, I couldn't tell Spencer that.
"Absolutely not," I answered her, some firmness returning to my voice.
She pumped her fist in the air. "Now that's the fire I'm looking for! Okay, c'mon, get dressed and let's go play video games at my place."
I stood up and stretched. "You mean I get to mash buttons wildly just to have you win flawlessly every time? I can't wait!"
"I'll let you win a few rounds," she promised with a laugh. "And I'll even throw in your favourite snacks."
"Better than lying in bed for the next eight hours. Deal."
The two of us spent the rest of the day doing just that. I was so grateful that I had someone who cared about me as much as Spencer did. She was such a strong person, and she inspired me to be the same. I'd always been strong, I knew that. I just needed a reminder every now and then. After all, if I could defend myself against a giant, mutant, acid-spitting spider-beetle, then I figured I could handle a few high school idiots.
----------------------------------------
"Gods, Brielle, what'd that dummy ever do to you?" Tyrath asked me with a grin, balancing various equipment on his shoulders. I had arrived at training early that day, so things weren't completely set up yet.
I took a pause from where I was practicing moves on a combat dummy to chuckle and roll my eyes at him. I cast a quick repairing charm to mend where the wood was splintering before continuing again. Since we'd been regularly rehearsing our combat skills intertwined with magic, as is normal in Emiarhia, the equipment was no stranger to frequent repairs – especially as we got steadily stronger. Today, however, I was feeling even more fiery than usual… Maybe because I was imagining that Farrah was my target. This caused me to be a little sloppy, but at least I wasn't lacking in power.
Ashkan's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "Hey, you should fix your left wrap if you don't want to bust your knuckles open."
Wiping the beads of sweat from my hairline, I glanced down at the loose hand wrap before holding it out to him. "Do me a favour?"
He simply nodded and began unwrapping my hand. "So, what are you doing right now?" he asked after a second.
"My best," I replied, stretching my neck.
He hummed in response. "I can tell. I must say, I'm impressed. You've gotten very skilled, very quickly."
My eyebrows shot up. That was a pretty big compliment coming from him. "Wow, thanks... You and Shaye are the real aces, though."
"Honestly, you're right up there with us at this point." He looked at me while knotting the wrap. "Even just now was an indication of that. You really weren't showing that dummy any mercy."
I smiled and shrugged. "Why should I? It's not like I'll be merciful to our enemies."
Ashkan finished with my hand wrap and went to adjust his own. "No, of course not." After a few moments, he sighed. "What a strange thought, that we indeed have enemies."
I just nodded and said nothing. I had been thinking about that, too. That no matter how good we were, we couldn't be invincible if there was an enemy out there willing to do absolutely anything to vanquish us. Sure, we were fighting for what we believed in, and to make things right, but in the end, I could be defeated. We all could be. It would be an understatement to say that that alone was motivating.
After some more two-on-one combat sessions with Shaye and Ashkan, Kadia entered the arena carrying three large trunks. The other four trainers opened them and inspected their contents before calling us over.
Behind her, I was happily surprised to see none other than the bespectacled Elliott. "What are you doing here?" I asked him, grinning.
"Surprise!" he answered. "I've been enlisted to help assemble you three's new weapons."
My eyes shot open wide. I knew that he was a skilled craftsman, but to this degree?
Noticing my stare, Elliott added, "My great-great-uncle was one of a few pioneers that invented what we call switch weapons, which essentially are two-in-one or three-in-one pieces of equipment. And, well, since this style is becoming slowly more popular, and since my family's methods are patented... I was asked to help design and build some one-of-a-kind models for you. Needless to say, I was delighted to lend my expertise."
Kadia nodded. "That's correct. Elliott here is one of the best switch weapons experts around, even at such a young age. I requested his aid about a month back, and we are gracious to have it."
Elliott blushed a bright pink. "Oh, stars... I am honoured to be of service to Emiarhia's saviours."
"On behalf of the Rime Guard and Their Majesties, the King and Queen," Kadia continued, "you have our deepest gratitude, and you shall be compensated handsomely for your efforts. Now, let us proceed." She turned to address Shaye, Ashkan and me. "As you all could have easily guessed, if the last expedition to Shialumura was indicative of anything, it told us that our mission will be far from a lead-pipe cinch. We were underprepared. Daggers and simple swords are no longer sufficient. To overcome your foes, you need real weapons that are tailored to you. All three of you are certainly advanced duelists by now, and I trust you. That is why, as of today, you shall be equipped with your own arsenals, just like your four trainers and me."
Kadia's words gave me a jolt of excitement. I had seen their weapons a few brief times in passing, and they were impressive, to say the least. In fact, in order to better explain how ours would function, theirs were brought out for us to examine and ask questions about.
Kadia preferred to be stealthy, quiet, and assassin-like in her approaches to combat. In her right hand, she wielded a lightweight, full-size scythe made from pale wood, intricate silver plating, and a light violet blade. The edge of the blade was jagged like a crystal. The 'switch' part of her scythe was that it could transform into a wide scimitar. The blade would first rotate to align with the snath, then the snath's telescopic segments would retract into the hilt. In her left hand, she wielded a matching, semi-circle sickle with a smooth, light blue blade, which could be reinforced by her ice magic just like the scythe. Kadia also carried a silver stiletto dagger as well as a complementary, metallic longbow. The bow had frost-like carvings, a small optic scope, and was able to shoot both regular arrows and magic arrows.
Contrastingly to his girlfriend, Thorne's fighting style was a bit more aggressive. However, being the expert thief and lockpicker he was, he still had to remain agile and meticulous in his movements. To reinforce this, Thorne was given a two-handed claymore sword along with a caestus gauntlet he wore on his right hand. The claymore was made of blackened metal and displayed tiny, orange tracery. The caestus was fashioned from black leather and sturdy, red-orange metal, and had built-in knuckledusters with lava-like carvings. When the mechanisms were engaged, the gauntlet switched to a claw weapon. Three telescopic blades could be unlocked from where they were sheathed flat against the top of the glove. The claws began below the elbow – having curved, flame-shaped metal extensions at the base of each blade – and extended outwards, in a slight downward curve, down the glove and about one foot out from Thorne's fingertips. Both edges of each blade were sharpened, and the middle one was serrated. Fittingly, both the gauntlet and the claymore could be enchanted by Thorne's fire magic.
Thorne's older brother, on the other hand, was a man of water magic. Although, anyone would be devastatingly foolish to mock Tyrath's penchant for this seemingly harmless element. He used these torrential powers to strengthen his already crippling weapons even more. Being the 'tank' of the group, and undoubtedly the strongest physically (just don't say that in front of Morgina), it was perfectly logical for him to carry a greatshield and greatlance combo. The giant, rectangular, iron and royal blue shield allowed for not only his own protection, but simultaneous shelter for others as well. It was peppered with tasteful, azure stones, and small motifs of oceans. The matching greatlance, which had a skinny, hollowed-out section down its length to decrease its weight, was about seven feet long with a very sharp point. Additionally, there was a non-obtrusive, semi-automatic, double-barrelled pistol mechanism embedded in the side of the lance's hilt. The gun was designed to fire regular bullets or magic bullets in the direction the lance points.
Like Kadia, Morgina's aptitude laid with ice magic, but unlike her captain, she usually chose to be audacious rather than stealthy when she could – really the only exception being when she was accomplishing her scout/cartographer duties. Following this theme, her weapon of choice was a fairly large, flanged mace made of steel and pinkish metal with a magenta leather grip. For extra damage and lethality, it could transform into a flail with an extendable and retractable chain. When done, the head of the flail would reveal additional, icicle-like spikes, turning into more of a morning star. Though she typically two-handed this weapon, Morgina also carried a small, convex buckler shield with frost-like designs, made for quick parrying and deflecting. Not the mace nor the flail were equipment for amateurs, especially not with the latter's dangerous and intractable swings. But Morgina was far from novice-level, and it suited her very well.
Last but not least, Reyshore was probably the least confrontational of the lieutenants, so his arsenal was perhaps less-than-intimidating. Still, his talents were undeniable, and he was a valuable asset just like the others. As such, Reyshore's extensive proficiency in light magic made him the team's number one healer. Despite this, he was never one to shy away from going toe-to-toe with opponents – his outstanding dexterity was only the tip of the iceberg of proof. In melee combat, he wielded an ornate, long-headed, silver spear with wine purple details. In the blink of an eye, its intricate mechanisms could retract the shaft, converting it to a shortsword. This form allowed Reyshore to use his favourite throwing knives in his offhand, of which he could accurately throw up to four at once. And since he was so highly sharp-sighted, having three eyes and all, this also made him an excellent marksman. When fighting at range, Reyshore used an arquebus rifle with a silencer and several interchangeable scopes. As evidenced by its polished plating, gold and silver filigree, and expensive wood, it was one of his most treasured possessions. Like nearly all other Emiarhian firearms, it was capable of shooting both normal and magical bullets.
"No more questions?" Kadia spoke up after a while. We all shook our heads. "No? Very well. Onto the main course, so to speak. Shaylie, we'll begin with you."
Clapping excitedly, Shaye stepped closer in front of the long table around which everybody was gathered. With some trouble, Elliott managed to haul the first trunk up onto the table. He proceeded to remove its sealing charm before unlocking the many clasps and latches. Finally, like lifting the cloche from a serving platter, we were free to gape at these pristine, flawless pieces of weaponry.
"For you," Kadia went on, "I have noticed that you are somewhat more defensive than offensive when duelling. You will need to be cautious about becoming too fragile or getting cornered, but it is no secret that you are highly observant, scrupulous, and nimble. Your graceful hand-eye coordination combined with your prowess in air magic grants you near-perfect aim. Someone with the ability to control the trajectory of projectiles would make a formidable ranger, yes?" She then signalled to Elliott, who held up the first weapon.
Shaye audibly gasped – I almost did, too. It was a one-handed straight sword crafted from muted turquoise and golden metal. I suppose it wasn't technically a straight sword though because the blade was shaped like a long wave. The blade, and especially its swept hilt, pommel, and sheath, were beautifully embellished with delicate, filigree carvings and swirly decals reminiscent of air.
Carefully, Kadia took it from Elliott's hands. "This type of switch weapon is called a whip-sword. Hold this button on the handle down, then give it a strong flick outwards."
She then demonstrated the transformation herself. Everyone watched as the blade broke apart into a dozen small, fairly chevron-shaped segments strung on a centre cable. Then, only a second later, each segment flattened bilaterally to sit their points against the cable, effectively creating a pliable, metal whip with highly sharp edges. When the whip was bent, the rigid, barb-like segments stuck out slightly at the curve, and I imagined how painful it'd be to be on the receiving end of a strike.
"Good stars…" Shaye breathed, marvelling at it.
"Then, to change back to sword form, simply hold down the button again and flick inwards. Worry not, the pieces will lock in place before hitting you," Kadia said, once again providing a demonstration. Sure enough, with a satisfying series of metallic clicks, the segments flared out before retracting back together into a sword. "Lightweight, flexible, razor-sharp. Plenty of potential for an air magic user."
On top of that, Shaye was also given an accessory weapon along with a ranged weapon. The former was a pair of long, thin, pale red and gold shears that doubled as a dagger. Like the sword, the shears and their sheath were ornamented with complex detailing and small jewels. The latter – the ranged weapon – was a set of twelve extremely sharp "throwing rounds", as Kadia called them. Shaped like hollow circles, and made of muted turquoise metal with gold swirls, they were essentially palm-sized chakrams without handles. When enchanted with Shaye's air magic, they could return to her like a boomerang after being thrown, even if it hit something.
After Shaye was finished drooling over her gifts (not that I could blame her), it was Ashkan's turn. Interestingly, the trunk containing his arsenal was the largest of the three. With crossed arms and his signature, either-annoyed-or-just-stolid expression, Ashkan positioned himself at the front of the group.
For some reason, I was reminded of the time months ago, back when I didn't know him very well and he accidentally bashed my face with his shield during training. "Just give him a shield with sharpened edges and he’ll be golden," I bantered, throwing Ashkan a wink.
He simply eyed me sideways in response, giving a disapproving but faintly amused look that said, 'Hey now, don’t joke about that', accompanied with a light smack on my arm. I smiled cheekily.
"Funny you should say that. Ashkan is actually the best at using a shield out of you three," Kadia chimed in. She then shifted her attention to him. "Considering what I have concluded from my assessments thus far, your greatest boons are your physical strength and your heightened sense of balance, both of which your talent in earth magic helps greatly to enhance. Perhaps you are not quite as acrobatic or lightning-quick as some others, but this is easily mitigated by simply how difficult it is – from what I've noticed – to knock you off your feet. You are resilient and steadfast, with very good aim and reflexes to boot. All-around an excellent combatant."
Though he was listening attentively, Ashkan's face remained entirely neutral as his eyes flicked back and forth between Kadia and the ground. He seemed uncomfortable being the centre of attention and getting that many compliments.
Elliott uncovered the shield and laid it on the table. It was medium-sized – about a foot and a half wide by three feet long – and heater-shaped with a pointed top edge. Most of its metal was the colour of darkened steel, but the front also depicted a large, bronze tree with winding branches and roots.
Ashkan picked it up curiously, slinging it onto his forearm. "There's a small switch on the back here…" he commented. "What for?"
"Try it," Kadia replied.
After flipping the switch, Ashkan was momentarily startled as the shield engaged hidden metal sections with a sharp shink sound. In about half a second, its bottom point extended downwards and from each side shot out a new piece, creating a larger shield of near-identical shape as before – it was now roughly two feet wide by four feet long. The new side edges were accompanied by three bronze, sweeping, moderately serrated spikes each, along with intricate but modest tracery motifs of vines and leaves in bronze and emerald green metal.
"Naturally," Kadia continued, "every good shield needs a proper companion." She reached for the next object in the trunk, unwrapping the cloth from around it. "And this one is excellent for piercing both flesh and armour."
It was a medium-sized battle handaxe made of pristine steel, bronze, and dark wood. Its head brandished two blades opposite to one another, with the secondary one being smaller, shorter, and having serrated notches. The main blade was curved and extended downwards farther than it did upwards. Below its dark brown leather handle, which matched the sheath, I could see a small spear on the end. The entire axe, particularly the base of each blade, was adorned with shiny, verdant engravings and detailing in bronze and emerald. You almost had to squint to see them though, but I figured that Ashkan would appreciate the detailing's subtlety.
Furthermore, his accessory weapon was a dark grey hunting dagger. Its blade was curved like the axe, but sharp on both edges, with the outside one being smooth and the inside one having staggered serrations. The curved handle featured a tapered rear bolster, a thick, notched hand guard with ornamental points, and thin, vine-like, bronze engravings. These decorations were also present on the blade itself, albeit understated, and covered the sheath as well. As for a ranged weapon, this is when I saw Ashkan smile ever so faintly. He didn't typically show excitement like most people did, but I could tell by the way he stood up straighter that he was. There was a quiet chorus of 'ooh's as Elliott unveiled a magnificent crossbow.
"A…crossbow?" Ashkan questioned. "Kadia, I thought you were pulling my chain about that."
"I most certainly was not. Right from the first time you held one, I could tell you had a knack for it. Why do you suppose I pushed you to pursue that?" she replied, taking the weapon from Elliott and passing it to Ashkan. "And this one's a right smasher. With new, state-of-the-art mechanisms, it boasts phenomenal power, range and accuracy without excessive weight or long loading times. Here, have a go at it."
I watched as he turned it over in his hands. It was a repeatable, rifle recurve crossbow made of deep brown wood, steel, and bronze. Synonymous with the other weapons, it bore small carvings in its wood and subtle, root-like motifs of emerald metal in a few places. It also had curved spikes on its limbs that matched those on the shield. Kadia showed Ashkan how the limbs and barrel could be collapsed to allow it to fit into its back holster. According to her, it was able to fire both normal bolts and magical bolts. The former of which were stored in its relatively small, bottom-mounted magazine, which was charmed to hold up to fifty bolts, thus eliminating the need for a quiver. Thanks to the crossbow's revolutionary internal components, the cocking process of the bowstring was automated, and this could be done in a second with the pull of a small lever. The repeatability was another feature, which could be switched on and off, where ten bolts could be fired in rapid succession from the magazine. Upon learning this, it made even more sense why it came with an optic scope.
At long last, after Ashkan had finished asking questions, Elliott hauled my own trunk up onto the table and cracked it open. My pulse quickened. I had a few decent ideas of what Kadia had planned for me, considering which weapons I'd taken a liking to during training, but I was also used to being proven wrong. Despite that, this time, my prediction was pretty much right on the money.
Kadia turned to me. "Brielle, compared to your peers, your skills tend to fall somewhere in the middle of Ashkan and Shaylie. You are deft, flexible, resourceful and quick, but also relatively strong. Each movement you make is calculated and often reflexive, and somehow, you've learned how to wiggle your way out of almost everything we've thrown at you. In all truthfulness, you have more endurance than a fair amount of my soldiers. Your biggest challenge will be maintaining this level of dexterity and not putting yourself in a position where you get overpowered. I am well aware that you aren't too fond of shields yourself, as you made a habit of blocking with your weapon instead, so I've decided to take that and run with it."
I shrugged coolly. "Don't gotta worry about getting hit if you don't stand still long enough to get hit."
"Easier said than done," she added, "but in theory, yes. Moreover, with your light magic that grows steadily more potent, the group is going to start relying on you little by little to be the second healer – a task which may sound daunting, but I've no doubt you are more than capable."
I bit my lip. It was true that a couple of weeks ago, I had decided with Miss Lucera that I was going to pursue light magic as my main element. It was the one I was drawn to the most, for reasons I couldn't quite explain. Of course, just like everyone else, I knew spells of all elements, but everyone picks one (or two, in rare cases) element to major in. Most of the time, it's the one that they are naturally adept at – something I learned was determined by a special blood test routinely performed on newborns – but sometimes it's not, in which case it's more difficult to master because you're essentially going against your biological magic. That didn't apply to me, as Miss Lucera told me that I'd been brought to Emiarhia at least once when I was very young, and the blood test concluded I was predisposed to following light magic. That alone was a fair bit to take in at once, and now, I had healing to worry about. Every healing spell is under the light category, so I had been practicing very basic ones already, but being labelled as a healer felt pretty nerve-wracking. At this moment, I couldn't fix much more than a papercut, so how was I supposed to quickly and effortlessly mend gashes on the battlefield without draining myself to the point of fainting?
Shaking my head, I focused back on what laid in front of me. My jaw instantly dropped. Elliott held up a set of two identical, flawless twinblades. Each was a little under two feet long, including the black leather handles. They were slightly S-shaped and sharpened on both edges, allowing them to be wielded in a forward grip or a reverse grip. The blades themselves were crafted from silvery-white metal and had a perceptible, opalescent sheen. Upon closer inspection, I noted elegant, Gothic-like carvings in each blade. The butt of each handle as well as the pointed hilts also had ornate, silver-white decorations. I was in such awe that I didn't know if I should even use these grand pieces of weaponry for their intended purpose, or if I should put them in a glass case instead.
Then, as if I wasn't already impressed, Kadia showed me how the twinblades could transform into a double-bladed glaive. Their handles had flat sections with strong screw threads, which enabled them to be interlocked and then extended thanks to intricate, telescopic segments. This created a six-foot-long glaive effective for blocking and even vaulting. When not in use, the twinblades could be sheathed in their separate, decorated holsters.
Afterwards, I was given my accessory weapon – a sturdy dagger made of shiny metal in a shade of violet very similar to my eye colour. The blade was mostly straight with a couple of decorative notches and bore identical carvings to the twinblades. Matching Gothic, silver and black filigree was present on its hilt and sheath. The handle was black and inlaid with silver tracery.
Lastly, Elliott presented my new ranged weapon, and I felt my heart skip a beat upon realizing what I was looking at. It was…a revolver.
"I know what you're thinking," Kadia spoke up. "Yes, I am trusting you with a firearm. It isn't as though you've never used one. Quite the opposite. In fact, all three of you have. But you, Brielle, are indisputably the best gunslinger between you three. I will admit, your skills with bows and projectiles are only decent if not shoddy, yet you have proved to be a natural with most handguns, despite the odds. Not only do you possess top-notch aim, but also the speed and agility to integrate shots into your combat patterns in a way that is unbroken and effective."
I didn't know what to say. Like Kadia said, firearms are far from rare in Emiarhia, so I'd obviously used several different ones before in training. I liked them – they were fast, powerful, and relatively easy to use. But now, having one of my own felt…bizarre. When I used them in the arena, they were only ever loaded with 'whispers', which are bullets made of magic that only feel like a firm poke upon impact. The idea of using a real gun, especially on someone, made my stomach twist. But I knew that I didn't exactly have a choice… If it was me or them, no way I was going down without a fight.
Kadia took the revolver from Elliott. "This here's a double-action, swing-out cylinder, cutting-edge revolver. The cylinder chambers seven rounds – magical or regular bullets – and is very simple to reload with a trained hand. The barrel also has a built-in silencer, here." After ensuring it wasn't loaded, she handed it to me.
It was somewhat heavy, but not unrealistically heavy, and made of silver metal and a polished, ivory-like, white material unfamiliar to me. The metal, perfectly blemish-free, glinted in the sunlight. I wondered how long it would stay that way. It was fairly slim but still sturdy, being essentially exactly what I was most accustomed to. Like my other weapons, the revolver displayed intricate, silver and black, Gothic motifs in various places, including carvings on the grip. It also had small, decorative, wing-like extensions on the frame above the hammer. Perhaps the most interesting part was how the barrel was partially open towards the end, spiralling out to resemble a metallic helix. Furthermore, the barrel, handle, cylinder and frame had pieces of opalescent plating here and there that shone faint rainbows at certain angles. To sum it all up, the revolver was stunning. I felt like I wasn't even allowed to touch it.
I was so entranced by these pieces of machinery I'd been given that I didn't even notice everyone disperse. While Shaye and Ashkan left to go test out their new arsenals with our trainers, I just stood there, staring at the gun in my hands and the blades on the table. The thought of shooting a target or mannequin seemed so easy compared to, say, shooting down a horde of Inkbloods. Now, though, I was faced with the reality of it, and I wasn't sure how to process it. I spun the revolver around my index finger by its trigger guard. There was a part of me that thought this was cool, but on the other hand, I just couldn't imagine myself–
"Dear gods, Brielle, what is the problem?" Kadia's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. She frowned. "That look on your face is giving me a headache."
"I'm just thinking about all of this," I said. "Like…using weapons. I know that I can, and don't get me wrong, I'm super grateful to you, the other trainers, and Elliott. But…" I hesitated. My voice grew quiet. "I mean… Am I going to have to…kill...?"
Kadia's expression softened. She sighed, then gestured for me to follow her to the benches. We sat down. "Listen, you understand that there is potential for that to happen, right?"
I nodded. "Yeah, if you want to be logical."
"But absolutely no one is expecting you to...go out there and be a veteran assassin or something. That is why you three aren't alone, why you have us five to help you. I certainly am not going to sit here and demand you draw and quarter anybody. Being a saviour is taxing enough, I shan't ask anything of you that goes against your morals. I, along with the rest of your trainers, will try our best to shield you from having to do something that makes you too uncomfortable. That's our job. That being said..." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "Yes, you may have to put some beings to death, human or not, if your life or another's is at stake. Being part of a prophecy as dangerous as this one, there may be moments where we cannot protect you. As few as possible, I am hopeful of that, but I cannot promise anything other than to strive for perfection."
"Wow," I muttered. "That's... That's scary."
"I know," she replied. It was a simple sentence, barely two words, but there was an unexpected amount of emotion in them. "It is scary. But I need to be honest with you. Taking a life is extremely serious; it's never something to jest about. But oftentimes, you can boil it down to a fairly simple set of criteria: first, are you in an advantageous and relatively safe position to do so? Second, most importantly, will things be significantly worse if you refrain from taking action? If you answered yes to both, then in most cases, neutralizing the enemy is for the greater good."
"If you don't mind me asking, how many times have you…?" I trailed off.
"I've lost count," she admitted. "Though not because there are many instances. Only about a dozen, probably less. We always try to incapacitate rather than kill, but sometimes the circumstances merit that. If you spend forever anguishing over something that can be justified fairly, the guilt – though undeserved – will eat you alive. Trust me." She closed her eyes momentarily, then squinted. "The first time I took a life, I was eighteen. I had just completed cadet training a week prior. I was walking back from the archery range when I heard sirens indicating there was an intruder in the palace. He just so happened to escape out of the window right above my path, with ten-year-old Princess Diamae captured in his arms. The guards' rifles were too risky. I knew what I had to do; there was no time to hesitate. One lucky arrow, straight to the back of his head. He was dead before he hit the ground." Her eyes seemed to glaze over from the memory. "I spent many months being revolted by my actions. I take absolutely no pleasure in it. It never gets easier. Killing is a heavy, heavy thing. To be honest, it is never something one becomes entirely habituated to. So it is very crucial to consider when and why it is the right thing to do, because sometimes, although perhaps morbid, it is right."
I stewed her words in my brain, processing the weight of them. Kadia seemed so matter-of-fact, but it was clear from her eyes that she was taking it seriously. "I understand."
She leaned back. "Very well. And, just to reiterate, we will do our absolute utmost to prevent you from being in that position. You are going to have to battle enemies, as you're well aware, but there is no shame in turning away and letting one of us deliver the final strike, if necessary. I mean that. I will not think less of you."
I just nodded again, a bit lost for words. I'd never seen Kadia this empathetic and...weirdly comforting. But then again, I'd never gone to her for advice on matters dealing with emotions before. She had given me plenty to think about. Eventually, wanting to move on from such a sombre topic, I said, "Let's get back to training, shall we? I want to test out these shiny, new toys! Let's gooo!" I sprung to my feet, clapping my hands together.
Kadia, taken aback by my sudden burst of energy, simply shook her head. And yet, shockingly, rather than shooting me the usual death glare or eye roll, she actually chuckled quietly. "My, you must have been a savage child. I can't imagine how your mother handled such rowdiness."
I was still a little shocked, but I decided to roll with it rather than point out the discrepancy. "Well, my dad was always the more easygoing of the two, so I think he had more patience to rein me in. But I love them both. Of course, at times, I was a little hellion, but it's not like that was abnormal."
She rolled her eyes, but still seemed fairly amused. I watched her hand travel absentmindedly up to the little, oval-shaped, golden pendant that hung around her neck. She always wore it, as far as I knew, but I never bothered to ask why. "I don't doubt it. I'm sure you got worse as you grew older."
"Yes. Way worse," I laughed. "Who knows? They'd be able to tell you better than I could."
Kadia's mouth curved into the beginning of a smile before she looked away, her typical, strict expression returning. "All right, now get back to practice before Ashkan and Shaylie leave you in the dust. I shall speak with them about our conversation later. They should also understand what I told you."
I gave her a comical salute, gathered my weapons in their holsters, then stopped in my tracks. "By the way, thanks for the chat. I feel better about it now."
Her words stalled for a moment. "Make no mistake; I'm doing all of this because I was given orders." She blinked impassively. "Nothing more."
I just laughed again and started heading toward the others. Kadia was unlike anyone I'd ever met. Sure, she was largely stoic like Ashkan, but they still had clear differences between them. There was a heart under there somewhere, no doubt. She was a really cool person to talk to when she'd let you, even just considering how many stories she had to tell and what all she'd been through. She knew her way around so many different things in this world, and she'd taught me so much about it in such a relatively short time. I couldn't imagine going through this prophecy experience without her. I wonder if she felt similarly, if her opinion of me had changed from the bitter introduction we had nearly five months ago. I hoped that was the case.
Seconds later, a new thought struck me.
I would miss her terribly when everything was over.