A motley assortment of adventurers stand in a dim basement looking pensively at my entrance passage. The wood mage, Jelai, kneads a dim green light into one of her seed satchets and places it on top of her cylindrical straw hat. In a few moments it sprouts into a delicate glowing dandelion the size of a melon. Reaver stares at the door, both his index fingers over his lips. He lowers them. Raises them again.

"You don't recognize it." Vulu says flatly.

"What? Don't be- pffft." The guildmaster waves his hand vaguely in the direction of the door. "Of course I know what it is, Vulu. Vulu, my dear friend, how could you say such an unkind thing? But I'm sure Magnus is clueless, so explain it to him, right Magnus?"

"They're constellations" Magnus calls from further down the corridor.

"I knew that." Reaver draws his blade and marches my first corridor, Vulu and Jelai trailing him. "Obviously they're stars. Hadiq didn't mention the doors, so unless an Astrologian wandered in over the last week they're a bit out of place. Ooh I'm so excited, I always love a fresh dungeon." The party moves inside and peers into the seemingly empty room. "Magnus, what did Hadiq say about the first room again?"

"Dry grass and big rats."

"Well the dungeon updated that already." Reaver shoves Magnus from behind. "Go check it out." The massive barbarian scowls but moves forward cautiously, halfway across the room the tile underneath his boots shatters and he drops straight down out of sight. Four Cybrats rush out of the tunnel and attack the prone adventurer. Roaring he leaps to his feet at the bottom of the pit, two of the Cybrat's tail strikes stab into his back, one misses and the third hits his right thigh. None of this slows him down and he swings his axe in a devestating arc, slicing off cybernetic tails and burying the blade in one of the rat's side. His abnormally tough body is covered in small cuts from landing on the iron spikes, but they weren't able to penetrate his flesh very far.

Above the pit Reaver clutches his sides and laughs uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face. The last two cybrats smash through the false wall and snap their tails at the man, only to be caught by Vulu. Confusion grips me for a moment as I could have sworn the man was standing several feet behind him. He pulls sharply on both tails and then performs a jumping double snap kick, smashing both rats into a loose cloud of meat chucks, and lands on his palms before smoothly pivoting back to his feet. Magnus climbs out of the pit, grumbling, and I realize he killed the four rats at the bottom while I was distracted. A sudden jingling noise announces the coppers coins spawning from the dead rats. Magnus looks down into the pit and then leaps across to the exit door.

"Copper, screw it." He grunts.

The other members of the party gather the loot outside the pit and each one leaps nimbly across to the other side, bypassing my safe edge paths. The mage Jelai takes the two cyberntic tails and packs them away in one of her bags. Examining the barbarian Magnus I can see the wounds on his back and leg are shallow, the rats weren't strong enough to seriously wound him. Moving through the corridor with the traps they spot the tripwire immediately and all step over it one by one. As my ambush rats line up their strikes Reaver suddenly thrusts his blade through the false wall and skewers one of them. The second attacks Jelai, who doesn't seem to notice as the tail bounces off her straw hat with a hollow noise and a muted flash of green light. Magnus grabs the second rat's tail and pulls it out of the wall. He examines it with a frown.

"Funny looking." The rat tries to swing itself over to bite the man but he smacks it against the wall, stunning it. "Too dark."

"You know you're right. I wonder if the leather would still be that color? These would make fantastic jackets." Reaver grabs the stunned rat and wraps it around his neck like a scarf. "We'd corner the fashion industry, a color darker than black, the vampires would be beside themselves with envy." A quick twist of his hand snaps the rats neck and the body is placed into Jelai's bag.

Already knowing about the false tiles the party cruises through the second chamber without incident, dispatching the rats easily. The Amphistas spew globs of oil but their accuracy against quick moving targets leaves something to be desired. Magnus ends up slimed but otherwise unharmed. I'll need to think of more dangerous substances for them to spit at people, or pair them with tougher minions. In the second corridor they step over the tripwires again but Vulu grabs Magnus by his cape before he can tumble into the other pit trap. I had the ambush rats pull back before they got here and go to the main dome, repeating the ambush against this group was just a waste of minions.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

In the doorway to the third room the adventurers stop and look at the sudden void with serious expressions. Reaver taps Jelai on the shoulder and she moves forward silently. Shaking her glowing dandelion summons a cloud of glowing spores which swirl into the room, sticking to every surface like an aggressive fungus. The glowing carpet reveals the holes and solid surfaces, but also causes one of my Cybratlings to sneeze. Reaver grins and the party moves forward confidently.

The squad of three Cybratlings leap into action. The first ratling's thrust is parried by Reaver's blade and he strikes the rat's chest with the heel of his empty hand, crushing the monster's ribcage with brutal force. The second and third ratling snap their weapons on to both of Magnus' arms, but the large man merely grasps the shafts of the weapons and rushes towards the ratlings, pushing them back by their own weapons until they crash into the wall. They fall to the ground stunned and the barbarian dispatches both with careful axe blows. Back in the boss chamber Holly reminds me that the assessment team is way too strong for this dungeon and I shouldn't be dissappointed by my monster's performance. I drop a handful of silver coins and one of the abductors which Reaver coos over for a few moments before he tucks it into his belt.

Finally the group moves into my boss chamber. I keep the King and his two ambush rats pulled back behind the blocks. Jelai shakes her dandelion again spreading spores through the room. Reaver, Magnus and Vulu examine my star chart dome and I move my King forward cautiously. "Well this sure is a hell of a room, wouldn't you say- Bloody mother of Fuck!" Reaver screams as I launch my rat swarm from cover, showering him and Magnus with angry rodents. Vulu sidesteps neatly and strides towards my King's hiding place. I pull back further into the room and send my ambush rats to circle around. As they reach the back line Jelai throws a seed packet towards them, which bursts into rapidly growing vines and entangles them both.

I rush at the unarmed warrior with my King in a quick three hit combo of claw swips and a tail spear. He dodges both swipes and parries the tail without any expression on his face and delivers a single straight punch to my boss' forhead. My viewpoint shoots out of the deceased rodent and back to my core. Sourly I drop loot for the fight, a gold coin, a handful of coppers, and a Cybrat Suppressor. The rat swarm from my king collectively keels over and dies as soon as the king is killed and the slightly ruffled adventurers meet up on my planter island to examine the loot.

"Well that was horribly uncomfortable." Reaver says with a chipper smile. "What'dya say? High F? Not a G that's for sure. Still a bit small but this place would eat Hadiq and his men alive if they came in here now."

"Middle F, maybe." Vulu counters. He and Magnus are stuffing their faces with candied dates while Jelai examines each plant on the island. "It has potential."

"Fair enough, and don't you worry my little dungeon core." Reaver looks straight up at my crystal high above. "We're gonna fatten you right up, brought all sorts of goodies for you. Jelai, the stuff!" The mage pulls out a dozen small satchels and tosses them to Reaver who checks them one by one and spreads them out on the ground. "Brought you all the basics, Fisstech, Dreamvine, Denner resin, some very entertaining mushrooms. Feel free to make as much as you like."

Reaver takes a small bag off his belt, opens it, and pulls out a full sized longsword. Despite the sack only being a few inches deep he also produces a fine steel knife, a bow and quiver of arrows, a full set of leather armor, a chainmail shirt, a floppy hat with a large plume, a pair of steel boots, gauntlets, a wooden staff, a wand, and a leather bound book. All of this equipment is left lying on the island in a heap and the adventuring party march back towards the exit.

Wow! They were so nice! I'm glad the adventurers are finally here.

"Pit something's wrong." Holly murmurs beside me. "This isn't how the Adventurer's Guild operates, and I think all of those substances are illegal in this country."

But they were a gift. What does illegal mean?

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Back above Reaver and party emerge back into the light. The forty recruits are resting nearby, some with minor wounds, still eyeing one another warily. Four corpses are stacked next to a wall. Hadiq and his merchants huddle together around their campfire, ignoring the guild. The guildmaster claps to get everyone attention and waves to the crowd.

"So glad to see you can all follow instructions. Starting tomorrow you will be facing the dungeon. Those of you with the strength to be true Sand Vipers will survive, the weak will be culled. Eight groups of five, and don't go thinking you can mix and match, if your team dies you'll be facing the dungeon solo until I say otherwise. Group up, fishies!" Reaver turns back to his lieutenants. "The dungeons a solid foundation but if we wait for it to grow up on its' own we'll be here for bloody ages. Tomorrow morning grab five slaves and toss 'em in that pit in the first room. We'll get this baby to 50 floors by midwinter and start raking in the product. I'll be glad to never go to the Boneyard again if we can swing it."

Magnus hefts his sack of candied dates thoughfully. "You sure the dungeon will drop the stuff for us?"

"The Boneyard does it for a price, but that crabby old crypt is bloody ancient. Dungeons are smart the way a dog is smart. Just gotta teach it the right way and it'll get the picture." Reaver laughs heartily and dismisses his companions. The slaves in their carts weep and huddle together in fear. The sun sets and the dungeon grows beneath their feet.