Chapter 1: Mad Archmage Yosef
Mad Archmage Yosef's Wizard Tower, Demon Continent, Not Earth Y5803
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In the valley of a majestic snowcapped mountain range, a lone golden tower pierced the blue sky all the way past the low-hanging clouds.
"Ha ha! Fuck! All my life those pricks have looked down on me!
"'Yosef! You must not build your wizard tower in the Demon Continent! There's no plumbing!'
"'Archmage Yosef, Archmage Yosef! Why do you waste away your life searching for the secrets of immortality? It is a doomed affair! You should focus on passing your knowledge on to the next generation like a respectable archmage.'
"'Archmage Yosef! The Human Continent is under siege! As a fellow human, help us!'"
Mad Archmage Yosef spat out in disgust, "Fuck! Just a Greater Goat Demon King and you scram over to get help from Daddy with your tail between your legs?" Yosef shook his head wearily. "What Noble Archmage Zion? Are you sure you wouldn't rather be called Shameless Archmage Zion? Shameless Zion had never invited Daddy to his parties, and he still has the face to send me an invitation to war?"
Pssh!
The hastily written letter in Yosef's hands burnt to ashes in an instant.
"Fuck! You're still here! Scram! Daddy's house isn't a zoo!" Yosef shot out a dazzling bolt of golden lightning from his hands towards a mass of cowering flesh in the corner of his wizard tower roof.
BZZZT!
RRROOOAAARRR!!
The Holy Wyvern roared indignantly at the sudden abuse before scampering away in fear of another lightning bolt. Even beasts like wyverns knew better than to pick a fight with Mad Archmage Yosef.
Yosef couldn't help but shake his head and admonish its behavior in his heart. 'Just a Holy Wyvern, yet it still roars at me like that. Truly it is tired of living.'
"That's enough distractions for this auspicious day! It is time for my grand debut!" With a flourish of his hand, Yosef conjured a small stone table into existence. With a very delicate touch, he placed a glittering green orb the size of his fist on the flat surface. With just a single glance someone could tell that this orb was of mysterious origins.
"Who was it that mocked my research into immortality? Zion? Fool! After only a mere seven-hundred years, my research is finally complete! I alone shall persist through the myriad epochs! Gods and Immortals above, make way! Witness the shedding of this mortal body!"
<
Accompanied by a blinding flash of light, the body of Mad Archmage Yosef disappeared from the world forever. Only his robe and spacial rings slumped noisily to the ground where he had once stood.
'Ha ha ha! It is a success! Fuck you, Archmage Zion! Using this gem as a phylactery was definitely the right move! Fuck I'm a genius!'
| New Notifications Pending (2) |
'HOLY FUCK!' Yosef's soul nearly dissipated in fear when those three words forced their way to the center of his consciousness.
'...'
'Are the gods finally reaching out to me?' After a minute of frantic calculations, Yosef came to a startling conclusion! 'Who else but the gods can invade my fortress-like consciousness?'
'O Deities watching from the heavens! This new Junior Brother God Yosef is ready and willing to hear what you have to say!'
| Displaying Notification (1 out of 2) |
| Race change authorized |
| Level 1 Authority granted to Dungeon Core, Yosef |
| Displaying Notification (2 out of 2) |
| Accumulated achievements grant title 'Scholar' to Dungeon Core, Yosef |
'What the fuck is this.' If Yosef still had eyes, they would be bulging out in bewilderment. 'Which motherfucker is calling this Little Deity a dungeon core?'
| Dungeon Core |
| Level 1 Administrative Race |
| Responsible for accelerating the growth of Good Factions |
'...Administrative Race.'
| Administrative Race |
| Governs the natural forces that inhabit a given celestial body |
'...Good Factions.'
| Good Factions |
| Humans, Demi-humans, Dwarves, Earth Dragons, Elves |
'...Authority.'
| Authority |
| Authority permits Creation |
| Authority permits access to Status |
'...Status.'
| Status |
| Dungeon Core, Yosef | | Level: 1 |
| Title: Scholar (Activation Pending) |
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
| Achievement Rating: 4 |
| Authority: 1000/1000 | | +1 Authority / Day |
'...'
'...'
'...'
'Fuck! Who said I would become a Junior Brother God? Didn't I just turn myself into a rock!? What the fuck is happening?'
<
Fizzle...
| New Notification Pending |
'...'
'Display notification.'
| Displaying Notification (3 out of 3) |
| Magic Request Denied |
| Dungeon Cores should focus on accumulating Achievement Rating using Creation |
The abject horror began to seep through Yosef's being as he came to terms with this latest development. 'A thousand years of research and training... Denied?'
<
| New Notification Pending |
'Display the damn notification.'
| Displaying Notification (4 out of 4) |
| Magic Request Denied |
| Dungeon Cores should focus on accumulating Achievement Rating using Creation |
If Yosef still had tear ducts, he would definitely be weeping by now. 'No magic... No magic... No magic... How am I supposed to enjoy immortality without magic? And what the fuck is Creation?'
| Creation |
| Conjour something from nothing |
| Ability limited to within the creator's domain |
| No domain established! Please claim your domain before attempting creation |
A tiny ray of hope finally shone on Yosef's soul. 'Isn't this similar to magic?'
'O Gods above! This Junior Brother God was wrong to doubt your wisdom! I beseech thee! Grant me my rightful domain!'
| Domain Request Granted |
| Modifying Golden Wizard Tower to conform to regulations |
| Modifications complete |
| -500 Authority |
For the first time since Yosef turned himself into a stone, he could feel the world around him. It was a sudden and very eerie development. Before, he had nothing but a spiritual presence void of sight, touch, sound, and hearing. But now everything had changed. He felt like he had truly become omniscient. Everything within his tower had become a fundamental part of himself. An extension of his body, so to speak. Anyone else might have found enlightenment or have become awed at the waterfall-like wave of information rushing in every second.
Yosef just felt like crying even more.
'What type of shit are you guys trying to feed me now? Wasn't I already the master of this tower? At least let me have a few mountain ranges to play with.'
'Whatever. Let Daddy see what creation can do!'
| Creation Request Granted |
| 15 Seconds Remaining |
| -100 Authority |
'Hmm?'
| 10 Seconds Remaining |
'FUCK! HOW DOES THIS WORK!?'
'HNNNNG!'
Poof!
| Creation Limit Reached |
'COMPLEX! TOO FUCKING COMPLEX!'
On the tile beside Yosef's phylactery was a horrendous lump of flesh, bone, and metal all mixed in a heap. Yosef became dazed for a long time as he contemplated what he just did. As soon as he received the notification that his creation request was granted, his mind seemed to have been elevated to a higher plane. It felt like the secrets to the universe were temporarily within his grasp.
But because such a vast amount of new information came all at once, he ended up creating a disgusting lump of... something.
'I think I understand...' Yosef awoke from his stupor. 'The vast majority of dungeons only have slimes wandering around because any lifeform more complicated than that will just result in a mess. Hmph, again. Creation!'
| Creation Request Granted |
| 15 Seconds Remaining |
| -100 Authority |
Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof!
| Creation Limit Reached |
This time, seven tiny slimes trembled slightly before melting into a corrosive mess next to the meat lump.
'Fuck! Again! Creation!'
| Creation Request Granted |
| 15 Seconds Remaining |
| -100 Authority |
Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof!
| Creation Limit Reached |
In a measly fifteen seconds, the entire top floor of Yosef's wizard tower became knee deep in green slime. 'All failures? I don't believe that I can't succeed! Creation!'
| Creation Request Granted |
| 15 Seconds Remaining |
| -100 Authority |
Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Ping!
| Creation Limit Reached |
'Haaa... Haaa... Haaa... Haa... Ha ha ha hahaha HA HA HA HA!' The green goop that was now waist high began pouring out of the tower from the single arched window that overlooked the mountains of the Demon Continent. By now the meat lump had completely disintegrated into nothingness. If it wasn't for a few strategically placed drains on the floor, this room might have forever been a green swamp. 'Success! Total success!'
A single tiny purple slime hung languidly from the ceiling. It was a sharp contrast to the pale gold walls and now-green floor.
'A major accomplishment! I created life! One more time! Creation!'
| Creation Request Granted |
| 15 Seconds Remaining |
| -100 Authority |
Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Poof!
| Creation Limit Reached |
Ten tiny purple slimes were scattered across the walls and ceiling. Each of them looked about as intimidating as a slab of wet tofu. 'I understand! It is actually this easy! Of course! I'm a once in every dozen millennium genius! Now let's try creating something inanimate. Creation!'
| Creation Request Denied |
| Insufficient Authority |
'Hah? Status!'
| Status |
| Dungeon Core, Yosef | | Level: 1 |
| Title: Scholar (Activation Pending) |
| Achievement Rating: 4 |
| Authority: 0/1000 | | +1 Authority / Day |
'You gotta be fucking kidding me.' Exasperation crept into Yosef's thoughts. 'Requesting more authority!'
| Request Denied |
| Insufficient level |
| Fulfil racial duties to increase level |
'...'
| +1 Authority |
The daily authority increment came in with perfect timing as if to slap his face.