Am I awake?

I can’t decide if I am or not. Something doesn’t feel right. At the same time, I have nothing to compare it to. I should though, right?

I…. Me ….What does that mean? Me, my existence? That should be significant, I know it should. But why do I know that?

A voice speaks to me. I feel the words. But the word “feel” doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t matter.

Neither feminine, nor masculine. The voice just is.

“Welcome, tenacious-transient. You have been granted a single boon, three choices, and three answers.”

I don’t know if I should even call it a voice, because that implies sound. Sound does not exist right now. I think I should be scared. I am nothing, yet…. I am. That is something. I am something.

I make an effort to speak, to ask what is happening but the voice quickly and LOUDLY interrupts me.

“Do not speak until I am finished! That is very rude.” The voice recedes to a more normal tone on the last few words.

“ Only three answers you will be given, and I should take away one of those for stopping you from making the same mistake every other tenacious-transient makes in this place. Just listen for now, and more importantly, think.”

I do as the entity commands. Something is wrong though, and I am unable to comprehend exactly what.

“ This is a transference node, and you are a tenacious-transient. You have not met the requirements for permanent residence, and must continue your journey through another vessel. You have, however, Qualified for a modified conscientious transfer including minimal aid. Status has been upgraded to potential. Congratulations!”

A gray screen appears before me. Again the sensation of looking at the screen feels wrong somehow. Is it actually gray? Nothing is there, but I can see it. I try to feel it, and my arms don’t move. I don’t have any arms. I don’t have anything.

Am I anything?

I am.

A torrent of thoughts flows one after another.

My status has been upgraded to potential? Is that good?

What was it before?

I am a tenacious- transient. That’s sort of an oxymoron right? I think so. Doesn’t matter. I have a boon. That sounds nice.

Listen.

Think.

I must continue my journey.

“We shall start with your boon.”

The word capacity appears on the screen for…. A moment? Measuring time isn’t something I am capable of here.

I have been granted… capacity? What exactly does that mean? Capacity for what? Thoughts flow so easily and quickly that it is impossible to hold onto any one of them.

“Next we will begin the process of your three choices. Be aware that while choice is chaos, consequences are order, and knowledge binds the two. Your first choice is provenance.”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

The words dwell inside me as the list of choices appear on the screen, and keep appearing, and keep appearing. This went on for a time… maybe? I simply can’t tell. When I think about it I am sure I have been thinking about it but then the thoughts feel brand new, but they can’t be because I’ve been thinking about this forever. Right? “Knowledge binds the two” the words echo in me.

The choices draw my attention, and I am absorbed into the possibilities. They are endless. Possibly. I don’t know. Seems like it.

They are also a bit odd. Mostly one word. Some hyphenated like terrac-tu. No other information is given and that frustrates me. I was just told to be aware that knowledge binds chaos and order, choices and consequences and I am given zero knowledge whatsoever. The voice is done “speaking” right? I don’t want to be rude again.

It should have said over or something to signify. I can’t tell how long it’s been since I stopped hearing/ feeling the words.

I decide to risk it. Let’s get one of those answers.

“Can you tell me more information about these options?”

Now that was an experience! I did not speak, but I know my question was heard and understood.

“I cannot” the voice says with an odd tone. “One answer has been given.”

I am an idiot.

The way the voice answered the question makes me pause though. More weight was on the first word. It feels like though the voice could not give me more information on my choices, someone, or something else could. But no one else is here right? We aren’t even anywhere are we?

I expand my senses, feeling nothing except the screen, and the vast presence that is the voice. The screen feels almost tangible, like an actual computer while the voice feels like a breeze, everywhere at once.

I try to grab the screen.

Right, no body dummy. That should terrify me, but it does not. Maybe not having a body is messing with my emotions. That makes sense. Emotions are just chemical reactions right?

I CAN feel the screen though, and instead of passively viewing the options, I focus my attention, my being, into them, one at a time. They slip through the fingers of my focus one after another like grains of sand until I narrow down my intention. Then, like a camera bringing an image into clear, crisp focus, I begin to actually understand the options.

They are the names given to planets mostly. Each is unique in a variety of ways. Waterworlds, and ringworlds. Worlds of science, and others of magic. Many worlds have both, some have neither. I can sense worlds that run on steam, or other, different forms of magic and science.

I should be overwhelmed. As soon as I focus on a choice I forget my other options, until I want to go back to a specific world for another look, then I forget what I had been looking at until I want to look there again. This isn’t working. I still can’t make a decision like this.

What would be ideal? The idea of doing magic peaks my interest greatly. I want to be able to wield magic. Looking through the worlds with thoughts of magic I begin to only see worlds that are magical. Progress.

Too many.

Progress though. I can narrow this down more.

I love space, and the idea of space travel.

I do?

I certainly do. The thoughts just appear in my… head? They pop into my being. I only give a moment's consideration as to where they are coming from or the form I currently am. I don’t know who I am, or even what I am . Knowing that I AM though, this is enough for me right now.

Thoughts of traveling the stars with magic does indeed narrow options down, until I have a few dozen or so that all seem pleasant. I can’t get much more information out of whatever the screen is, except for vague feelings and flashes of insight. When DUNGEON flashes through my mind on one of the options I make my choice.

The voice immediately says “ choice number two, vessel”

“ Be aware that while a vessel can only ever be temporary, it can leave an impact on that which fills it that is permanent.”

I am prepared this time, and my screen is flooded with options. This choice comes easy, only one feels right, and only one stands out. It is the closest thing to a human among the options. I couldn’t even tell you what the differences are, just that they are slight. Everything else feels alien. Not bad, some even felt amazing, just too different.

I make my choice.

“ Third choice- blessing. Be aware that with every blessing comes a curse, and the two are never equal, except when they are one and the same.”

These options are bizarre, and I get far less information about them than any of my previous options.

So each of these options will come with a curse. That’s kind of lame. I wonder if not making a choice here would be considered making a choice. Could I simply not choose? Should I waste another answer? I really don’t want to be cursed, even if a blessing may or may not even it out. I decide to ask. I just want this to be over. “Can I choose to not receive a blessing?”

“No. The second answer has been received.”

Okay so I would have to choose a blessing and hope that the curse wouldn’t be too bad. The options give no obvious indication of what the curse might be. Some of them sounded fantastic, like power, and grace. Some don’t even sound like blessings, like ignorance, and pain. I do however get an instinctual feeling while perusing these. Power is enticing, and ignorance feels peaceful. Pain is rewarding. I can work with this.

One option catches my attention. Remember. That one feels almost neutral. Calm, reassuring, and reasonable but at the same time extremely uncomfortable and dangerous. Balanced. I like that. My choice is made.

“Boons have been given. Choices have been made. One answer remains.” The voice says.

At first I thought this would be difficult. But I already know what I want to ask, and I don’t even care if it is wasted. I want nothing more to do with this place between places, and this voice that is not a voice but so much more.

“ What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?” My question hangs in the void.

“An answer doesn’t exist. Unless you make it so.” Another heavy pause. “Boons bestowed, choices made, and answers given. Transfer beginning.”