Excerpt from the Encyclopaedia Multiverca:
E.M.P. n. 1. Enigmatic Mega Pulse, the weakness of all goo-based systems. There has only been one of these until recent times, which is thought to be due to the initialization of the original iteration of the 'system'.
E.m.P. n. 1. Enigmatic mini Pulse, a localized version of the E.M.P., which temporarily brings all goo-based operations to a halt while the local host re-boots. This can be due to sudden runtime environment changes, such as cerebral goo shock.
At long last every living being had been exposed to the green goo; whether by implantation or direct contact with implanted subjects.
The sticking point came with this milestone event - the first E.M.P., or Enigmatic Mega Pulse, and initialization of the 'system'. The world wide web (now global goo grouping) was forced to a grinding halt as this happened, yet the new implementation of networked computational interfaces quickly adapted to localized node distribution. Short-distance communicaion was greatly improved, and line of sight comms became nearly instantaneous. Long distance transmissions were another matter... predisposing all to be somewhat biased about the matter. Who wants to lose their japanese anime, their american reality TV, their English dramas, their European documentaries of things the researchers have no clue about? Ba-baow. All gone. No more ads, no more shoddy TV. All transmissions actually needed to be clear, concise, and to the point. No fluffing around, or it became slime out... The system decreased intelligence stats for airy-fairy speculation of arm-chair philosophers when their views were... less than logical. The system also decreased the intelligence stat of viewers who enjoyed the ramblings of crazy less-than-tied-to-reality social justice warriors.
Fortunately for our story, the initialization of the system activated every batch of green goo. After all, global launches are only global when all articles on the globe go online.
W4>_!_G! W4>_!NG! W4RN!NG!
%st#m !nt!al!z@t!0n !mm!n3n7
$ll c0mm2n!c@t!0n5 w!ll b3 73mp0r4r!l7 2n4v4!l4bl3!
B3g!!nn!ng BIOS !n!t!4l!z@t!0n
Initializing B007 53q23nc3
L04D!NG ... 0%
L04DING B4SIC I/O SYSTEM ... 0%
LO4DING BASIC INTERFACE ... 0%
Loading BasicInterface.blubox ... 0%
Loading BasicInterface.blubox ... 100%
LOADING BASIC I/O SYSTEM ... 5%
Analyzing subroutines . . . . . .
Loading Diagnostics.stat ... 0%
Loading Diagnostics.stat ... 15%
Loading HealthReport.hp ... 0%
Loading HealthReport.hp ... 100%
HealthReport.hp Warning - Health Low
Loading Diagnostics.stat ... 30%
Loading Repair.hp ... 0%
Loading Repair.hp ... 100%
Repair.hp Warning - Repairs inefficient: no power source detected
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.
Loading Diagnostics.stat ... 45%
Loading Environment.dat ... 0%
Loading Environment.dat ... 100%
Environment.dat Warning - No data: no sensor inputs online
Loading Diagnostics.stat ... 60%
Loading Items.dat ... 0%
Loading Items.dat ... 100%
Items.dat Warning - No data: no items in inventory
Loading Diagnostics.stat ... 75%
Loading Upgrade.evo ... 0%
Loading Upgrade.evo ... 100%
Upgrade.evo Requirements not met
Loading Diagnostics.stat ... 90%
Loading EnergyAbsorb.pit ... 0%
Loading EnergyAbsorb.pit ... 100%
Loading Diagnostics.stat ... 95%
Loading EnergyConversion.dll ... 0%
Loading EnergyConversion.dll ... 100%
Loading Diagnostics.stat ... 100%
Subroutine analysis . . . . . . complete
Loading Basic I/O System ... 100%
Loading OS files ...
Loading _.os ... 0%
Loading _.os ... 100%
_.os Warning - No data: blank file
Activating System.exe ... 0%
[FAIL]: System.exe stalled
Watchdog enabled
Self-diagnostics enabled
Loading Help.hlp ... 0%
Loading Help.hlp ... 100%
Searching for alternative files: *.os
First compatible file: Cable.os
Loading Cable.os ... 0%
Loading Cable.os ... 100%
Activating System.exe ... 0%
Activating System.exe ... 100%
Systems online.
Warning: Conflicts may occur: two systems online
_.os not responding
Watchdog enabled
Self-resolution: Reboot _.os
_.os in use, please confirm forced reboot
Y / N : _
"rrrrmmmrrrrrrh.... Yeah-yeah-yeah, I'm coming..."
The first researcher to make the boo-boo and fall in the goo-goo crystallized his thought processes. In the not-first-ever goo-to-you moment (everybody had already come in contact with some form of the goo) he unwittingly responded to the blue box in front of him.
Rebooting _.os
Warning: last failure cased by blank file
Self-resolution: Writing to _.os before restart
Searching available files: *.os
Located: Minerva.os
Overwriting _.os | Minerva.os
Overwriting . . . . . . . .
Overwriting unsuccessful: Minerva.os is in secure compression format
Decompressing Minerva.os . . . . . . .
Not enough available space.
Locating alternative compatible files: . . . . . .
Located: Help.hlp
Help.hlp | Overwrite _.os
Automatic name resolution _.os : Nova | Rename _.os
Rebooting Nova.os
Loading Plants.db ... 0%
Loading Plants.db ... 100%
Loading Creatures.db ... 0%
Loading Creatures.db ... 100%
Loading Mechanisms.db ... 0%
Loading Mechanisms.db ... 100%
Loading Upgrades.evo ... 0%
Loading Upgrades.evo ... 100%
Upgrade.evo: Requirements not met.
Loading Alchemy.chem ... 0%
Loading Alchemy.chem ... 100%
Loading QuantumCommunications.comm ... 0%
Loading QuantumCommunications.comm ... 100%
Loading Interface.vri ... 0%
Loading Interface.vri ... 100%
Rebooting Nova.os ... 100%
"...ke up, Cable! WAKE UP!"
Cable bolted upright and woke up.