An eerie silence had descended. Normally there was some background ambiance inside the dungeon, be it the slow *drip... drip* of water, the rumble of unknown machinery, or even just an occasional distant scream. But now there was not even the shuffling or skittering of the denizens, for the invaders had slaughtered them all. Not a single monster remained between the 49th level of this branch and the surface, all had perished - save for one tiny minion.
The pitiful creature stood in the pile of gore that was once the great heroes who had led the expedition so deep, but it did not gloat triumphantly over the corpses as should be expected. Instead, it covered its head and curled up into a ball, as if trying to shut out the world.
The world didn't care. If anything, it seemed to be mocking the poor thing. If any had lived to observe what happened next, the voice with no apparent source could only have confirmed such suspicions.
{Now, that was a waste, don't you think? Oh wait, you really don't know. Bwahahaha!} There was no good will in that laugh, but only the slightest hint of frustration. {I would say I was disappointed in you, but I was the one who appointed you on a whim.} The few walls still intact seemed to resonate with its sigh.
{Of course, I still have to fire you, throw you to the dogs, leave you out in the cold, etcetera. Oh, don't be a crybaby about it; I hate whining, that's why I delegate the torturing duties. Nothing personal, these are just the rules around here; even if I did write them myself, there's no hard feelings.}
{Since I am such a connoisseur of ironic justice, I know when not to overuse a trope. I dropped the last fellow into the hellhound pit. Perhaps the frost giant's plain, then? ...No, I don't feel like dragging it out this time.} The minion could only weep in silence as its master milled over what punishment to mete out. {Okay, time to give you the boot. Not literally, of course. That would be quick, but there's enough of a mess as it is.}
Reality began to fade like a bad dream for the victim, though with its eyes shut and ears covered only the otherwise unyielding stench of blood gave this away. {Perhaps, if you're lucky, you might incarnate a janitorial position somewhere... But don't hold out hope. Not that you'll be able to without a proper existence.....}
And that voice was the last experience the former minion had in this world.
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It moved. It toiled. It scraped, it shaped, it burrowed and built. It didn't think about its actions, it thought. And yet for some reason, or some reasons, it should. It perceived its kin, wet they were not like it. It dropped its tool, searching for something different. It found something different, yet similar to itself in the way the kin weren't. It called out to it. "Who are you?"
{...Who? You?} The voice came from everywhere, yet nowhere. The voice was like yet unlike a voice from before. Before? That should be a foreign concept to it, but it couldn't remember. It ignored the question with no answer. Of the two, it seemed to be the one understanding things first. "I said you, not me." {I, You, Me... You are You, I am Me!} A cry of triumph. The voice appeared to have just now achieved self-awareness. Also, another strange yet familiar concept: that sounded... 'Cute'.
"But who are you? Moreover, what are you?" He realized what he was talking to looked like a pebble. No, not just a pebble, a gemstone. A dark blue opal glittering at the bottom of a shallow stream. Underground, with no light source. {I am Me. Dungeon.} "Dungeon? Is that your name or what you are?" {No.} "Didn't you just say you were one?" {Yes.}
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He sat down, puzzled. Why was he grabbing his chin all of a sudden? "So you are a dungeon, but a dungeon is not what you are..." {Yes.} "Hmm, so you both are and are not..." Another unknown and unbidden concept, but this time it might be of some use. "I shall call you Schrödinger. Wait, no," he shook his head and corrected himself, "I shall call you Kat." When had he determined their genders?
{Kat... I am Kat now!} She seemed pleased with her name. {You: name, what are?} "I... Don't know." He took note of his own appearance for the first time. His skin was light grey with a hint of blue, its arms long and thin. His ears, nose, and eyes were all large, but not disproportionately so. His head was shaped like a crushed sphere, with a ring of thin hair like a balding monk. He was somewhere around a hundred Kats tall, but suspected that still didn't account to much. Realizing that even his appearance differed from that of his ex-kin, who were vomit-brown with smaller egg-shaped skulls, he wondered if perhaps he'd been different all along.
{You are Minion. Servant, worker, expression of dungeon will. But formerly? Different now.} The minion looked at Kat and raised an eyebrow. "If you knew, why ask?" No answer. "Perhaps you were trying to be polite?" {Maybe...} Her voice was far more timid now, and he realized he could never be afraid of someone like her. Why was that a possibility to begin with? He scratched his head in confusion.
"Um, so... Why don't you give me a name now?" {Minion!} That was far too enthusiastic of a response. "No, I don't want to be called something demeaning." {...Minion Master?} "You can do better than that. Besides, if anyone is the master, it's you." {Helper?} This one took some pondering. "Not bad as a title, but how about a proper name?" {...Shrew-ding-air?} That was the most hesitant response yet, and he-who-has-yet-to-be-named couldn't stifle a chuckle.
{Kat gives up.} She seemed frustrated. "All right, I'll decide for myself..." He waited, and sure enough another scrap appeared in his mind eventually. It might be a bit pretentious, but he liked it. "I want be Archimedes."
{Arky-Minion!} "What? No, it's Archimedes!" {But Archie-me-dees got to choose Kat's name, now Kat wants name chosen by Kat!} She was throwing a tantrum like a little girl. Hmm? If that wasn't the weirdest idea yet... {Kat wants to know!} It appears he was muttering to himself. "No, ju-" He was about to change the subject when he lost control of his voice, and the rest of his body for that matter. [Archimedes's head is an interesting place...] He suddenly received an expanded awareness of his surroundings, not much but enough. This was all too familiar to him.
[Arky-] The thoughts suddenly cut off, and Arc's internal screaming became external. His body suddenly fell over and curled up on the ground, clutching his head. One of the other minions dropped what it was doing and rushed over. Its eyes were glowing blue, the same as Kat's gem body. {Is Arky-meads all right?} The minion's face wasn't very good with expressions, but he was terrible at reading those anyways.
Arc recovered slowly. This time was nothing like last time. Last time? He was suddenly thankful he could not remember. At some point Kat had lost control of the minion and it scampered off. "I'm okay, Kat. Just... Please don't do that again without asking first." {...Kat won't. Promise.} Her response was weak; it seemed the ordeal had drained quite a bit of energy from her. "One more thing." {Yes, Arky-Middles?} "Just call me 'Arc'." {Okay, Arc.}